{"id":13912,"date":"2015-08-15T23:15:40","date_gmt":"2015-08-15T18:15:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=13912"},"modified":"2015-08-15T23:38:10","modified_gmt":"2015-08-15T18:38:10","slug":"s%c9%99faq%c9%99t-cavansirli-sevginin-gozl%c9%99ri-romaninin-i-hiss%c9%99si","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=13912","title":{"rendered":"\u015e\u0259faq\u0259t CAVAN\u015e\u0130RL\u0130.”Sevginin g\u00f6zl\u0259ri” roman\u0131n\u0131n I hiss\u0259si"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"sefaqet-cavansirli\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Oxudu\u011fum orta m\u0259kt\u0259b \u201c X\u0259z\u0259r\u201d \u015fadl\u0131q saray\u0131yla \u00fczb\u0259\u00fcz binada yerl\u0259\u015firdi. \u018fslind\u0259, tibb universitetinin dig\u0259r korpusunda biz\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n sonra \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259 d\u0259rs deyirdil\u0259r. H\u0259r birimizin dilind\u0259 \u201c Qa\u00e7q\u0131n \u201d m\u0259kt\u0259biydi.
\nM\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 oxudu\u011fumuz g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259n biri idi. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n baxanda insanlar\u0131n topla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u015fahidi olduq. Hadis\u0259 yerind\u0259 polisl\u0259r d\u0259 vard\u0131.
\nSonradan bildik ki, binan\u0131n bo\u015fluq olan hiss\u0259sind\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259 d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lmi\u015f k\u00f6rp\u0259 at\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. O an hans\u0131 hissl\u0259ri ke\u00e7irdim, izah ed\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. Eyni suallar\u0131 verirdim \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259: bu u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n g\u00fcnah\u0131 n\u0259 idi ki, ata-anas\u0131 v\u0259 ya kims\u0259 onu oraya qoyubsa vicdans\u0131zca m\u0259l\u0259k donundan \u00e7\u0131xmayan k\u00f6rp\u0259y\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm h\u00f6km\u00fcn\u00fc verdi. G\u00fccl\u0259ri h\u0259yat\u0131n eni\u015find\u0259n, yoxu\u015fundan x\u0259b\u0259rsiz k\u00f6rp\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131.<\/p>\n

O k\u00f6rp\u0259y\u0259 ki, \u0259ll\u0259rini, ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259rp\u0259d\u0259nd\u0259, g\u00fcl\u0259nd\u0259 yumru yanaqlar\u0131nda t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm yaradaraq insandak\u0131 d\u0259rdi bir anl\u0131q unutdurur, s\u0259ad\u0259tin quca\u011f\u0131na at\u0131r.
\nK\u00f6rp\u0259nin ora hans\u0131 s\u0259b\u0259b\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 qoyuldu\u011funu he\u00e7 vaxt bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m, bilir\u0259m. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rimd\u0259 \u201c qatil ana \u201d sur\u0259tini d\u0259 yaratmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m. He\u00e7 bir qad\u0131n ana kimi \u00f6vlad\u0131n\u0131n qatili olmaq ist\u0259m\u0259z, onu isti quca\u011f\u0131na yara\u015fd\u0131rmaq \u0259v\u0259zin\u0259 b\u0259d\u0259nin\u0259 a\u011f k\u0259f\u0259ni layiq g\u00f6rm\u0259z, torpa\u011fa h\u0259val\u0259 etm\u0259zdi.
\nOxuyaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z roman\u0131n is\u0259, yaln\u0131z 30% \u0259lav\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n ibar\u0259tdir. Y\u0259ni 70% real h\u0259yatdan g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fclm\u0259dir.<\/p>\n

\u00c7i\u00e7\u0259k qap\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131ndad\u0131r<\/p>\n

S\u0259rin yaz g\u00fcnl\u0259rinin birind\u0259 u\u015faq evinin qap\u0131s\u0131ndan bir az aral\u0131 qara \u201c Mercedes \u201d markal\u0131 ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 saxlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. S\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc o\u011flan hirsd\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri q\u0131zarm\u0131\u015f arxaya d\u00f6nd\u00fc. Arxa oturacaqda s\u0259ssiz a\u011flayan qad\u0131n\u0131n quca\u011f\u0131nda saxlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u00f6rp\u0259ni c\u0259ld ondan ald\u0131, qad\u0131n\u0131n h\u0131\u00e7q\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131 e\u015fidildi. Qad\u0131n\u0131n ya\u015f\u0131 altm\u0131\u015fa yax\u0131n olard\u0131. O\u011flana yalvarma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131.
\n–\tQurban olaram Namiq, onun g\u00fcnah\u0131n\u0131 bu u\u015faqdan \u00e7\u0131xma. U\u015fa\u011f\u0131 alma \u0259limizd\u0259n, \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b ged\u0259rik buralardan. N\u0259 s\u0259n bizi tan\u0131, n\u0259 biz s\u0259ni.
\n–\tK\u0259s s\u0259sini, kaftar. Bunu ba\u011f\u0131\u015flama\u011f\u0131m\u0131 ist\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k ax\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 adam da deyils\u0259n. Dul ad\u0131yla m\u0259n\u0259 s\u0131r\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n poz\u011fun q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na bundan da bet\u0259r oyunlar a\u00e7acam. H\u0259l\u0259 bu haras\u0131d\u0131r? Ona \u015f\u0259r\u0259fli soyad\u0131m\u0131 vermi\u015fdim. Bu idi yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m? Qanc\u0131q \u00f6z evimd\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t el\u0259di. Utanmaz-utanmaz \u201cu\u015faq s\u0259nd\u0259ndir\u201d dediniz. S\u0259nc\u0259 m\u0259n siz\u0259 u\u015faq ver\u0259r\u0259m?<\/p>\n

Namiq dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qca qad\u0131n sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 yolurdu, a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. Namiq quca\u011f\u0131nda k\u00f6rp\u0259 ma\u015f\u0131ndan d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Qad\u0131n yen\u0259 yalvar\u0131rd\u0131:
\n–\tYalvar\u0131ram s\u0259n\u0259, q\u0131z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131d\u0131r, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yini fikirl\u0259\u015f. On s\u0259kkiz ya\u015f\u0131ndan sonra buraxacaqlar, hara ged\u0259c\u0259k onda?
\n–\tAy sa\u011f ol, poz\u011fun q\u0131z\u0131n da yan\u0131ndayd\u0131. Haralara getmirdi? Narahat olma, anas\u0131n\u0131n q\u0131z\u0131d\u0131r. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u0259 bir yol gec-tez tapacaq.
\nNamiq iti add\u0131mlarla u\u015faq evinin qap\u0131s\u0131nacan yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131. Quca\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 k\u00f6rp\u0259ni yer\u0259 qoydu, g\u00f6zl\u0259ri dolmu\u015fdu. \u018fliyl\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sildi, asta add\u0131mlarla geri qay\u0131td\u0131. Ma\u015f\u0131nda oturub yenid\u0259n qad\u0131na t\u0259r\u0259f d\u00f6nd\u00fc.
\n–\tBu haqda ana-bala kim\u0259s\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fsaz, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f bilin. Poz\u011fun q\u0131z\u0131na da ba\u015fa salarsan. Bo\u015fanandan sonra hara ist\u0259s\u0259z, c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m olars\u0131z. E\u015fitdin? S\u0259ninl\u0259y\u0259m, e\u015fitdin?<\/p>\n

Qad\u0131n dan\u0131\u015fa bilmirdi. Ba\u015f\u0131yla t\u0259sdiql\u0259yirdi, ancaq a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. Namiq ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 i\u015f\u0259 sald\u0131. Ma\u015f\u0131n uzaqla\u015fd\u0131qca yerd\u0259n qalxan toz havaya qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

K\u00f6rp\u0259nin \u00f6vladl\u0131\u011fa g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fclm\u0259si<\/p>\n

Qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7an ar\u0131q, qarabu\u011fday\u0131 g\u0259nc qad\u0131n qap\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131na qoyulmu\u015f k\u00f6rp\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259nm\u0259di, \u0259ksin\u0259, heyfsl\u0259ndi. Daha bir k\u00f6rp\u0259 valideyinl\u0259rind\u0259n uzaq h\u0259yat ya\u015fayacaqd\u0131. Qad\u0131n k\u00f6rp\u0259ni quca\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc; – Heyif, s\u0259n d\u0259 yaral\u0131 ceyranlardan oldun – deyib i\u00e7\u0259ri ke\u00e7di, d\u0259mir qap\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rtd\u00fc.
\nDirektorun ota\u011f\u0131na daxil oldu, h\u0259y\u0259canla s\u0259sl\u0259ndi:
\n–\tNahid\u0259 xan\u0131m, Nahid\u0259 xan\u0131m. U\u015fa\u011f\u0131 qap\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131nda tapd\u0131m.
\nNahid\u0259 tez-tez bu hallarla rastla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. T\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259nm\u0259di, aya\u011fa qalxd\u0131, qad\u0131n\u0131n quca\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 k\u00f6rp\u0259y\u0259 baxd\u0131.
\n–\tN\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r olar? \u018fn z\u0259hl\u0259m ged\u0259n v\u0259ziyy\u0259tdir. Hans\u0131 vicdanla qap\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fzina qoyurlar, ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilmir\u0259md\u0259. Ay n\u0259 deyim siz\u0259, he\u00e7 olmasa x\u0259b\u0259r edin, qap\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6y\u00fcn. Bird\u0259n gec \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131q, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 d\u0259 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r it des\u0259n var.Vallah, adam yorulur.
\nNahid\u0259 b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f k\u00f6rp\u0259nin \u0259dyal\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7anda ka\u011f\u0131z par\u00e7as\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Qatlanm\u0131\u015f ka\u011f\u0131z\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b yan\u0131ndak\u0131 xan\u0131m\u0131n e\u015fid\u0259c\u0259yi t\u0259rzd\u0259 oxudu:
\n–\t\u201c Xahi\u015f edir\u0259m m\u0259ni q\u0131namay\u0131n. Q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n ad\u0131 \u00c7i\u00e7\u0259kdir \u201d Buna bax, utanmaz-utanmaz q\u0131z\u0131m yaz\u0131b h\u0259l\u0259. \u201c Alt\u0131s\u0131 yanvar d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lib. Bir ana kimi onu atma\u011fa m\u0259cburam. \u0130mkans\u0131zl\u0131q m\u0259ni buna vadar edib. \u0130nan\u0131ram ki, q\u0131z\u0131ma ana yoxlu\u011funu hiss el\u0259tdirm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ksiz. Allah k\u00f6m\u0259yiniz olsun\u201d Daha s\u00f6z\u00fcm yoxdur. Neyn\u0259y\u0259k Fatma?
\n–\tDem\u0259li ad\u0131 \u00c7i\u00e7\u0259kdir. M\u0259n d\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n olmas\u0131n\u0131 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 ist\u0259mi\u015fdim. Bu u\u015faq m\u0259nim kimi sonsuzlara verils\u0259ydi, yolda\u015f\u0131m m\u0259ni bo\u015famazd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Fatma duruxdu, bir k\u00f6rp\u0259y\u0259, bir d\u0259 Nahid\u0259y\u0259 baxd\u0131. Nahid\u0259 Fatman\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rini oxumu\u015fdu.
\n–\tU\u015fa\u011f\u0131 \u00f6vladl\u0131\u011fa g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259k ist\u0259yirs\u0259n?
\n–\t\u0130st\u0259s\u0259z m\u0259n\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k ed\u0259 bil\u0259rsiz. Anam\u0131 itir\u0259nd\u0259n t\u0259k qalm\u0131\u015fam. Xahi\u015f edir\u0259m, k\u00f6m\u0259k edin m\u0259n\u0259. Bilir\u0259m, sizin buna g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fcz \u00e7atar. Xahi\u015f edir\u0259m, k\u00f6m\u0259k edin \u00c7i\u00e7\u0259k m\u0259nim q\u0131z\u0131m olsun.
\nNahid\u0259nin g\u00f6zl\u0259ri doldu. He\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259di, ba\u015f\u0131yla t\u0259sdiql\u0259di. Fatmayada bu laz\u0131m idi. H\u00f6nk\u00fcrt\u00fc il\u0259 a\u011flad\u0131, k\u00f6rp\u0259 d\u0259 oyanan kimi \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Bir qad\u0131n\u0131n , g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 qad\u0131n olacaq k\u00f6rp\u0259nin g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131 qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131 bir-birin\u0259…<\/p>\n

1 \u2013 ci hiss\u0259nin sonu.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oxudu\u011fum orta m\u0259kt\u0259b \u201c X\u0259z\u0259r\u201d \u015fadl\u0131q saray\u0131yla \u00fczb\u0259\u00fcz binada yerl\u0259\u015firdi. \u018fslind\u0259, tibb universitetinin dig\u0259r korpusunda biz\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n sonra \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259 d\u0259rs deyirdil\u0259r. H\u0259r birimizin dilind\u0259 \u201c Qa\u00e7q\u0131n \u201d m\u0259kt\u0259biydi. M\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 oxudu\u011fumuz g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259n biri idi. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n baxanda insanlar\u0131n topla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u015fahidi olduq. Hadis\u0259 yerind\u0259 polisl\u0259r d\u0259 vard\u0131. Sonradan bildik ki, binan\u0131n bo\u015fluq olan hiss\u0259sind\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259 d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lmi\u015f […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13912","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13912","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13912"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13912\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13914,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13912\/revisions\/13914"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13912"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13912"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13912"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}