{"id":14052,"date":"2015-08-22T09:00:09","date_gmt":"2015-08-22T04:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=14052"},"modified":"2015-08-22T10:55:30","modified_gmt":"2015-08-22T05:55:30","slug":"irad%c9%99-%c9%99lili-dost-bildikl%c9%99rim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=14052","title":{"rendered":"\u0130rad\u0259 \u018fL\u0130L\u0130.&#8221;Dost bildikl\u0259rim&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/10489008_656731897746790_1282121067_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/10489008_656731897746790_1282121067_n-289x300.jpg\" alt=\"10489008_656731897746790_1282121067_n\" width=\"289\" height=\"300\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-9249\" srcset=\"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/10489008_656731897746790_1282121067_n-289x300.jpg 289w, http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/10489008_656731897746790_1282121067_n.jpg 925w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 289px) 100vw, 289px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Ax\u015famd\u0131r gec\u0259d\u0259n  xeyli ke\u00e7ib. Art\u0131q yollardan ma\u015f\u0131nlar\u0131n t\u0259k\u0259rl\u0259rinin s\u0259si bel\u0259  k\u0259silib, yava\u015f-yava\u015f  s\u00fckun\u0259tin f\u0259rqin\u0259 var\u0131ram. Narahat anlarla d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rimin  girdab\u0131nda bo\u011fula \u2013bo\u011fula qal\u0131ram . Bird\u0259n bir\u0259  h\u0259r  bir  \u015fey  bozla\u015f\u0131r, adil\u0259\u015fir.Yekn\u0259s\u0259k olur.  N\u0259d\u0259n!?  Niy\u0259  !?  suallar\u0131  dinclik vermir, yorur  m\u0259ni .B\u0259lk\u0259, b\u0259lk\u0259d\u0259  m\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259m  suallar\u0131n cavab\u0131 dey\u0259 \u0259ll\u0259rimi six\u0131lan  \u00fcr\u0259yimin ba\u015f\u0131na qoyaraq g\u00f6zl\u0259rimi yumub Tanr\u0131ma dua  ed\u0259-ed\u0259 \u201c Allah\u0131m haqq\u0131m\u0131zda  h\u0259r  bir  i\u015fin , olaca\u011f\u0131n  xeyirlisini et, m\u0259ni  he\u00e7 kims\u0259nin  q\u0259lbini  q\u0131rma\u011fa  izn  verm\u0259,  s\u0259br  \u0259ta  el\u0259\u201d  dedim .V\u0259 harda oldu\u011fumu , n\u0259  etdiyimi, n\u0259  d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc  unutdum. M\u00fcrg\u00fcl\u00fc  halimla fikirl\u0259rimin m\u0259ni hara g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc anlaya  bilm\u0259dim. Bu s\u0259ks\u0259k\u0259li hal\u0131m il\u0259   donub h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tsiz  v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259  n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r  qald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 hiss etm\u0259dim. Bird\u0259n yanaqlar\u0131m\u0131 qarsan bir  alov m\u0259ni  bu  sakitlikd\u0259n  qopard\u0131. G\u00f6zl\u0259rimd\u0259n axan  sin\u0259m\u0259  s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259n  g\u00f6z  ya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n istiliyi  m\u0259ni  bu narahat x\u0259yallardan  ay\u0131rd\u0131 v\u0259 bu  ax\u015fam\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131  sanki  \u00fcz\u0259rim\u0259  \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fc. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, ruhum art\u0131q  m\u0259nl\u0259 deyil, h\u0259r  bir \u015feyin sonudur v\u0259 m\u0259n bu  sonluqda  d\u00fcnyam\u0131  duya  bilmir\u0259m.\u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc  t\u0259nha  hiss etdim.<br \/>\nBel\u0259c\u0259 sakitlik h\u00f6km s\u00fcrm\u0259y\u0259  davam  edir. M\u0259tb\u0259xd\u0259  balaca  masan\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 qum saat\u0131na  baxa-baxa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 dald\u0131m.   &#8211;  Bax  bel\u0259c\u0259 \u00f6m\u00fcr \u2013g\u00fcn  gedir ,  s\u0259ninl\u0259  b\u0259rab\u0259r  add\u0131mlayan  ill\u0259rin   d\u0259 , aylar\u0131n da v\u0259 etibar\u0131na  g\u00fcv\u0259ndiyin  dostlar\u0131n da&#8230;..  \u00c7ox  h\u0259yacanland\u0131m dey\u0259s\u0259n  \u00f6z\u00fcm -\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259  s\u00f6yl\u0259nir\u0259m v\u0259  oz  s\u0259simi \u00f6z\u00fcm duyub diskinib  ay\u0131l\u0131ram . Ba\u015f\u0131mda k\u00fct  a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131n oldu\u011funu, \u00fcr\u0259yimin  s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 d\u00f6y\u00fcnd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc  hiss edir\u0259m .Daha  bu  m\u00f6vzuya  qay\u0131tamayca\u011fam dey\u0259  \u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259  \u00e7\u0259k-\u00e7evir  ed\u0259r\u0259k  saat\u0131n h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t ed\u0259n \u0259qr\u0259bin\u0259  diqq\u0259t  edir\u0259m . Saat d\u00f6rd . Yuxum \u0259r\u015f\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kilib.Sanki gec\u0259 oldu\u011funu  unutmu\u015fdum . \u0130nsan inam\u0131n\u0131  itir\u0259n zaman o itkini q\u0259bul etm\u0259k nec\u0259 d\u0259  a\u011f\u0131r imi\u015f \u0130lahi&#8230;<br \/>\n \u015e\u0259h\u0259r gec\u0259 yuxusuna  dalm\u015f\u0131d\u0131. M\u0259n\u0259  el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki,  bir t\u0259k m\u0259n  oya\u011fam  g\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259,  k\u00f6nl\u00fcmd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc  il\u0259  yuva salm\u0131\u015f ax\u015famlayan k\u0259d\u0259riml\u0259, p\u0259ri\u015fanl\u0131\u011f\u0131mla. Son g\u00fcc\u00fcm\u00fc  toplay\u0131b  \u00f6z\u00fcm-\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc   danlama\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m-  bu  q\u0259d\u0259r  \u00fczm\u0259  \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc , \u00fcr\u0259yini yem\u0259 b\u0259sdir daha . H\u0259r  \u015fey  yolunda olacaq, anlayacaqlar   sonda&#8230;B\u0259lk\u0259  s\u0259nin d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259  hiss  ed\u0259 bilm\u0259diyin , g\u00f6rm\u0259diyin s\u0259hvl\u0259rin , atd\u0131\u011f\u0131n  yaln\u0131\u015f add\u0131mlar\u0131n olmu\u015fdur. Bir az  sakitl\u0259\u015f!!!H\u0259r  bir \u015fey  yolunda  olaca\u011f. Bir  az  s\u0259br  et.<br \/>\nBu d\u0259m n\u0259f\u0259simin darald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131  hiss edib evin eyvan\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. H\u0259r zamanki kimi   ulduzlar\u0131 b\u0259rq  vuran  sayr\u0131\u015fan s\u0259man\u0131 seyr etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. Amma h\u0259r  zamank\u0131 kimi yox. Bu  zaman tam f\u0259rqli, g\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n  \u0259l\u0259n\u0259n f\u0259ryad\u0131mla ,  t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf\u00fcml\u0259.  M\u0259n\u0259  el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki onlarla  s\u00f6hb\u0259t  edir\u0259m , d\u0259rdl\u0259\u015fir\u0259m . \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259 m\u0259ni  didib par\u00e7alayan  ac\u0131l\u0131 \u2013a\u011fr\u0131l\u0131 \u00fcr\u0259yimin g\u00f6yn\u0259yini  onlarla  b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m . B\u0259lk\u0259 , B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259n.!!! ?  B\u0259lk\u0259 yanl\u015fliq m\u0259nd\u0259! ?  B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0259hv m\u0259n\u0259m ! ?  Suallar\u0131m n\u0259  bitiridi , n\u0259  d\u0259 t\u00fck\u0259nirdi. \u00d6z\u00fcmd\u0259  \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc axtar\u0131rd\u0131m.!<br \/>\n  Yoruldu\u011fumu , hals\u0131zli\u011f\u0131m\u0131 hiss edib eyvanda balaca k\u0259til\u0259  \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdim. Bax\u015flar\u0131m \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n ixtiyars\u0131z qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259ki binan\u0131n  i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 yanan evl\u0259r\u0259  t\u0259r\u0259r\u0259f  dikildi. Asta \u2013asta sayma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m  bir, iki, \u00fc\u00e7. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm  yatmay\u0131blar&#8230;Y\u0259qin  narahat d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259ri   onlar\u0131 da bu gec\u0259 vaxt\u0131nda  yuxusuz  qoyub. Dem\u0259k ki m\u0259n t\u0259k deyil\u0259m, gec\u0259l\u0259r  insanlarla d\u0259rd  b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrl\u0259r&#8230;Bir  xeyli m\u00fcdd\u0259t  ke\u00e7di evl\u0259rd\u0259n  birinin i\u015fi\u011f\u0131  s\u00f6nd\u00fc  ,  bir  azac\u0131q  zaman da   ke\u00e7di ikinci evin i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131  s\u00f6nd\u00fc \u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259  sevindim    y\u0259q\u0131n  h\u0259r  bir  \u015fey  qaydas\u0131na   d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Ba\u015f\u0131mdak\u0131 m\u0259ni  s\u0131xan fikirl\u0259rimi  bir  t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 qoyub h\u0259sr\u0259tl\u0259  \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc  evin i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n  s\u00f6nm\u0259sini g\u00f6zl\u0259yiridm. \u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc  evin i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131  s\u00f6nm\u0259di ki,  s\u00f6nm\u0259di.  Ah, y\u0259qin o zaval\u0131larda  m\u0259nim  kimi  d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rinin girdab\u0131nda \u00e7abalay\u0131rlar  dey\u0259 fikirl\u0259\u015fdim. Bu d\u0259m \u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259n  n\u0259l\u0259r  dolan\u0131b , n\u0259l\u0259r  ke\u00e7di. G\u00f6yn\u0259y\u0259n  \u00fcr\u0259yimin  d\u00f6y\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc  qulaqlar\u0131mda  \u0259ks  s\u0259da  verirdi .G\u00f6zl\u0259rim yol \u00e7\u0259kdi .\u00d6z\u00fcm \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 astadan s\u00f6yl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259  ba\u015flad\u0131m v\u0259 sanki  p\u0259ri\u015fanl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 , g\u00fcnahsizl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131  kim\u0259s\u0259  anlatma\u011fa  \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m &#8211; Ax\u0131, m\u0259n neyl\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, niy\u0259 bel\u0259! Niy\u0259 !Niy\u0259  dost bildikl\u0259rim , inand\u0131qlar\u0131m, \u00fcr\u0259yimin  bir par\u00e7as\u0131nda sonsuza  q\u0259d\u0259r yeri olanlar\u0131m sonda n\u0259 dost,  n\u0259  tan\u0131\u015f,  n\u0259  d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n kimi qal\u0131r  niy\u0259! ? Bixtiyar niy\u0259  k\u0259lm\u0259sini  ba\u011f\u0131raraq  el\u0259 ucadan dedim ki, \u00f6z s\u0259sim\u0259  \u00f6z\u00fcm ay\u0131ld\u0131m sank\u0131  yuxuda  idim. Q\u0259rar  tuta  bilm\u0259yib  ota\u011fa   ordan da  m\u0259tb\u0259x\u0259 ke\u00e7\u0259rk\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fcm radiyoya sata\u015fd\u0131 .B\u0259lk\u0259  bir  h\u0259zin musiqi dinl\u0259yim  ruhum dinl\u0259nsin, sakitl\u0259\u015fim dey\u0259  d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. El\u0259 d\u0259 etdim.Amma   h\u0259zin musiqi m\u0259ni s\u0131xan  d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rimin m\u0259ng\u0259n\u0259sind\u0259n  qopara  bilm\u0259di.D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rim  t\u00fc\u011fyan edir m\u0259ni sakit  buraxm\u0131rd\u0131lar.\u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 ala bilmridim  musiqi m\u0259ni yaman  k\u00f6vr\u0259ltmi\u015fdi. Bu  d\u0259f\u0259  ucadan  a\u011flaya  a\u011falaya  \u201cAx\u0131, niy\u0259 dost  dedikl\u0259rim ehtibars\u0131z  oldu,  niy\u0259  Allah\u0131m. Niy\u0259  d\u00fcnya mal\u0131n\u0131  dost \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259n ucada  tutdular, ki\u00e7ik  g\u00f6rd\u00fcl\u0259r, Niy\u0259 ! ?<br \/>\nG\u00f6zl\u0259rimin  ya\u015f\u0131 leysan  kimi \u0259ll\u0259rim\u0259 t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc ,o \u0259ll\u0259r\u0259 ki  ehtibar\u0131s\u0131z dostlar\u0131n soyuq \u0259ll\u0259rini s\u0131x\u0131b dostum  demi\u015fdir.O \u0259ll\u0259r\u0259 ki, tanr\u0131  d\u0259rgah\u0131na a\u00e7\u0131laraq  dostuna  dualar  etmi\u015fdir.O \u0259ll\u0259r\u0259 ki, dostun  g\u00f6z  ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 silmi\u015fdir, o \u0259ll\u0259r\u0259 ki, dosta ba\u011fl\u0131  qap\u0131lar a\u00e7m\u0131\u015fd\u0131.O \u0259ll\u0259r\u0259&#8230;.<br \/>\n\u00d6z\u00fcm e\u015fid\u0259c\u0259yim  bir  s\u0259sl\u0259 astadan s\u00f6yl\u0259ndim- s\u0259hv \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259dir,  g\u00fcnah \u00fcr\u0259yinindir ,ruhunundur,  s\u0259nindir \u00e7\u00fcnki dost dediyin bir insan\u0131n anacaq yax\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fl\u0259rini g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u0259n v\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn bu m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259d\u0259 s\u0259hvl\u0259ri ayd\u0131n se\u00e7\u0259 bilmirs\u0259n.Lakin, yen\u0259  d\u0259      fikirl\u0259\u015fdim qoy olsun. Ax\u0131,bu d\u00fcnyan\u0131n el\u0259  b\u00fct\u00fcn m\u00fcdikl\u0259rinin   dediyi kimi-dunya  s\u0131naq  d\u00fcnyas\u0131d\u0131r .V\u0259  bel\u0259c\u0259  h\u0259r k\u0259sin \u00f6z  yolu, \u00f6z  misiyas\u0131&#8230; kim bilir?<br \/>\nP\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na  ke\u00e7ib uzaqlara \u00e7ox  uzaqlara  zill\u0259ndi bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131m . D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rim m\u0259ni ac\u0131l\u0131  \u015firinli xatir\u0259l\u0259rim\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131.Orada  olanlar , n\u0259l\u0259r,   daha  n\u0259l\u0259r film kimi \u015f\u00fcurumda canland\u0131 bu d\u0259m  r\u0259hm\u0259tlik  anam\u0131n s\u00f6zl\u0259ri   qulaqlar\u0131mda  \u0259ks  s\u0259da  verdi &#8211; .\u201dQ\u0131z\u0131m s\u0259hvi olan\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flama\u011f\u0131 bacar,  amma s\u0259n\u0259 ehtibars\u0131z l\u0131q ed\u0259ni  bir daha yax\u0131n\u0131na buraxma ,yenid\u0259n z\u0259rb\u0259l\u0259r  almamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn\u201d. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259ldiki  anam  m\u0259nim yan\u0131madad\u0131r.O iztirab\u0131m\u0131  g\u00f6r\u00fcb  bu  s\u00f6zl\u0259ri  dem\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn   \u00f6z\u00fc  g\u0259lib m\u0259n\u0259. Ax\u0131 o m\u0259nim h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n,  varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck m\u00fcdriki idi. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rimd\u0259n  ayr\u0131ld\u0131m .Sank\u0131 yuxuda idim. Dan yeri  yava-yava\u015f a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131 . G\u00f6z\u00fcm  qar\u015f\u0131dak\u0131  binada  i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259n  evi axtard\u0131. El\u0259  h\u0259min andaca  o p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n  i\u015f\u0131\u011f  s\u00f6nd\u00fc&#8230;. S\u0259h\u0259r  a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r.Bel\u0259c\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn z\u00fclm\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259  son  qoyan b\u00f6y\u00fck  Nur-G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f al\u0259mi nura  boyad\u0131.Ya\u015fama\u011fa d\u0259y\u0259r.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ax\u015famd\u0131r gec\u0259d\u0259n xeyli ke\u00e7ib. Art\u0131q yollardan ma\u015f\u0131nlar\u0131n t\u0259k\u0259rl\u0259rinin s\u0259si bel\u0259 k\u0259silib, yava\u015f-yava\u015f s\u00fckun\u0259tin f\u0259rqin\u0259 var\u0131ram. Narahat anlarla d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rimin girdab\u0131nda bo\u011fula \u2013bo\u011fula qal\u0131ram . Bird\u0259n bir\u0259 h\u0259r bir \u015fey bozla\u015f\u0131r, adil\u0259\u015fir.Yekn\u0259s\u0259k olur. N\u0259d\u0259n!? Niy\u0259 !? suallar\u0131 dinclik vermir, yorur m\u0259ni .B\u0259lk\u0259, b\u0259lk\u0259d\u0259 m\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259m suallar\u0131n cavab\u0131 dey\u0259 \u0259ll\u0259rimi six\u0131lan \u00fcr\u0259yimin ba\u015f\u0131na qoyaraq g\u00f6zl\u0259rimi yumub Tanr\u0131ma dua [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14052","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14052","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14052"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14052\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14054,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14052\/revisions\/14054"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14052"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14052"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14052"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}