{"id":15013,"date":"2015-09-18T20:45:28","date_gmt":"2015-09-18T15:45:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=15013"},"modified":"2015-09-18T21:02:17","modified_gmt":"2015-09-18T16:02:17","slug":"t%c9%99ran%c9%99-s%c9%99ms-ata-g%c9%99l%c9%99c%c9%99m-yuxularina-esse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=15013","title":{"rendered":"T\u0259ran\u0259 \u015e\u018fMS.&#8221; Ata&#8230;.G\u0259l\u0259c\u0259m yuxular\u0131na..(Esse) &#8220;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/ts.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/ts-264x300.jpg\" alt=\"ts\" width=\"264\" height=\"300\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-14131\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>17.09.2015.<\/p>\n<p>(\u0130ntihar ed\u0259n 12 ya\u015fl\u0131 m\u0259kt\u0259blinin dilind\u0259n)<\/p>\n<p>Ata! M\u0259nim intihar etm\u0259yim sentyabr\u0131n 15-d\u0259n bu g\u00fcn\u0259 kimi \u00e7ox s\u00f6z-s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b olub. Ata, ruhumla s\u0259n\u0259 yalvar\u0131ram. Ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla m\u0259ni. S\u0259nin kimi,anam\u0131, bac\u0131 v\u0259 qarda\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 da g\u00f6z\u00fcya\u015fl\u0131 qoydum. Bilir\u0259m, he\u00e7 d\u0259 d\u00fczg\u00fcn h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t etm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. \u018fziz atam ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla m\u0259ni! Haqq\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 halal et! Ata, m\u0259n bir k\u00f6yn\u0259y\u0259, bir m\u0259kt\u0259bli \u00e7antas\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00f6z can\u0131ma q\u0131ymad\u0131m. \u015e\u00fck\u00fcrl\u0259r olsun ki, a\u011fl\u0131m da yerind\u0259 olub.Hans\u0131 ki, b\u0259zi insanlar m\u0259ni psixaloji durumumda \u0259ng\u0259l oldu\u011funu hesab edir. Ata, amma q\u0259lbim cox k\u00f6vr\u0259k oldu\u011fundan, s\u0259nin \u00e7\u0259kdiyin \u0259zab-\u0259ziyy\u0259t daima m\u0259ni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcr\u00fcb. Ata, \u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259 baxa bilm\u0259y\u0259n q\u0259mli g\u00f6zl\u0259rini, qabar \u0259ll\u0259rini g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259riml\u0259 bar\u0131\u015fa bilmirdim. Ax\u0131 biz el\u0259 bir c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131r\u0131q ki,ail\u0259l\u0259r, u\u015faqlar, g\u0259ncl\u0259r bel\u0259 bir durumla qar\u015fla\u015fmal\u0131 deyill\u0259r. M\u0259nim V\u0259t\u0259nim nefti, qaz\u0131, ba\u015fqa t\u0259bii s\u0259rv\u0259tl\u0259ri il\u0259 z\u0259ngindir. Amma Allah\u0131n \u00f6z yaratd\u0131qlar\u0131na b\u0259x\u015f etdiyi t\u00f6hf\u0259l\u0259r zal\u0131mlar \u0259lind\u0259dir v\u0259 bizl\u0259ri k\u00f6l\u0259 kimi istismar edirl\u0259r. Ata, m\u0259nim 12 ya\u015f\u0131m olma\u011f\u0131na baxmayaraq, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rim \u0259hat\u0259lidir. Ata, zaman-zaman x\u0259yallar\u0131mda \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc s\u0259nin yerind\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131m. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fcm ki, oxumaq ist\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259, t\u0259hsilimi davam etdir\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m. \u00c7\u00fcnki sosial durum v\u0259 ail\u0259 v\u0259ziyy\u0259timiz buna imkan vermirdi. Amma m\u0259nim \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck arzum alit\u0259hsili bir v\u0259t\u0259nda\u015f olaraq \u00e7ox i\u015fl\u0259r g\u00f6rm\u0259k idi. Q\u0259lbimd\u0259ki \u0259n k\u00f6vr\u0259k arzulardan \u00fcmd\u0259si s\u0259n\u0259 layiqli o\u011ful, savadl\u0131 v\u0259t\u0259nda\u015f olaraq xalqa xidm\u0259t etm\u0259k id\u0131. U\u015faql\u0131q x\u0259yallar\u0131m\u0131n \u0259n uca zirv\u0259si zaman-zaman m\u0259n\u0259 v\u0259 bac\u0131-qarda\u015flar\u0131ma \u00e7\u0259kdiyin z\u0259hm\u0259tin qar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 verib qullu\u011funda durmaq idi. Ata, ya\u015fla\u015fan zaman s\u0259ni \u015f\u0259hzad\u0259l\u0259r kimi ya\u015fatmaq k\u00f6nl\u00fcmd\u0259n ke\u00e7irdi. \u018ffsuslar olsun ki, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m m\u00fchit arzular\u0131m\u0131n h\u0259yata ke\u00e7m\u0259sin\u0259 imkan verm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi. Ata, n\u0259 edim irad\u0259m z\u0259if oldu\u011fundan q\u0259lbim h\u0259ssas oldu\u011fundan g\u00fcc\u00fcm \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131. Lakin bir \u015fey\u0259 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf edir\u0259m ki, \u0259ziz atam, anam sizd\u0259n halal\u0131q ala bilm\u0259dim. He\u00e7 k\u0259s m\u0259ni dard\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259li hesab etm\u0259sin. Ata, bil ki, m\u0259n d\u00fczg\u00fcn h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t etm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. M\u0259nim ya\u015f\u0131m az olsa da, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr etm\u0259yi bacarm\u0131\u015fam v\u0259 \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr etm\u0259yi daima \u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131dlar\u0131ma da arzu edir\u0259m. Ata, bilir\u0259m haqs\u0131zam. \u018fn az\u0131 m\u0259nim \u00fcz\u0259rimd\u0259 olan haqq\u0131n\u0131 yer\u0259 vurdum. \u00d6z ya\u015f\u0131dlar\u0131ma bir t\u00f6vsiyy\u0259m var. He\u00e7 k\u0259s \u015feytan\u0131n felin\u0259 uymas\u0131n. H\u0259yatda h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 s\u0259br etm\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 d\u00f6z\u0259 bils\u0259ydim q\u0259lbimd\u0259ki arzular m\u0259n\u0259 qucaq a\u00e7ard\u0131.Ax\u0131 h\u0259r \u015feyi zaman h\u0259ll edir. Ata, h\u0259yat\u0131ma vida etm\u0259kl\u0259, b\u00fck\u00fcl\u0259n \u00e7iyinl\u0259rini daha \u00e7ox b\u00fckd\u00fcm, s\u0259ni g\u00f6z\u00fcya\u015fl\u0131 qoydum. A\u011flama atam. Ba\u011f\u0131lay\u0131n, m\u0259ni ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n! Ata he\u00e7 vaxt \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00fcn\u00fchkar hesab etm\u0259. S\u0259n g\u00fcnahkar deyils\u0259n. Ata g\u00fcnahkar ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z m\u00fchit v\u0259 d\u00f6v\u00fcrd\u00fcr. Zaman\u0131n a\u011f\u0131r m\u0259ng\u0259n\u0259si imtahan edir bizl\u0259ri. Kims\u0259 bu imtahandan s\u0259brl\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xa bilir, \u00e7\u0131xa bilm\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259r, irad\u0259si z\u0259ifl\u0259r nec\u0259ki, m\u0259nim kimi m\u0259ng\u0259n\u0259nin p\u0259nc\u0259sind\u0259 bo\u011fularaq m\u0259hv olur. Ata, son olaraq s\u0259n\u0259 yalvar\u0131ram. M\u0259nim yoxlu\u011fumu \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 d\u0259rd etm\u0259 ki, balama sentyabr\u0131n 15-i g\u00fcn\u00fc m\u0259kt\u0259b bazarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ed\u0259 bilm\u0259dim. Ata, s\u0259n \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fatmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259lind\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259ni etmis\u0259n. Ail\u0259miz\u0259 bir loxma \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k g\u0259tirm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn aln\u0131n\u0131n t\u0259rini ax\u0131tm\u0131san. S\u0259n atalar\u0131n \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131san. Ata, haqq\u0131n\u0131 halal el\u0259, arzular\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 qal\u0131b, \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yi bununda m\u0259l\u0259kl\u0259r\u0259 yolda\u015f olan balana. M\u0259\u011frur ol Atam. G\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 t\u00f6km\u0259,g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259m yuxular\u0131na..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>17.09.2015. (\u0130ntihar ed\u0259n 12 ya\u015fl\u0131 m\u0259kt\u0259blinin dilind\u0259n) Ata! M\u0259nim intihar etm\u0259yim sentyabr\u0131n 15-d\u0259n bu g\u00fcn\u0259 kimi \u00e7ox s\u00f6z-s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b olub. Ata, ruhumla s\u0259n\u0259 yalvar\u0131ram. Ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla m\u0259ni. S\u0259nin kimi,anam\u0131, bac\u0131 v\u0259 qarda\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 da g\u00f6z\u00fcya\u015fl\u0131 qoydum. Bilir\u0259m, he\u00e7 d\u0259 d\u00fczg\u00fcn h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t etm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. \u018fziz atam ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla m\u0259ni! Haqq\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 halal et! Ata, m\u0259n bir k\u00f6yn\u0259y\u0259, bir m\u0259kt\u0259bli \u00e7antas\u0131na [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15013","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15013","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=15013"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15013\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15014,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15013\/revisions\/15014"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=15013"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=15013"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=15013"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}