{"id":15037,"date":"2015-09-22T10:00:05","date_gmt":"2015-09-22T05:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=15037"},"modified":"2015-09-22T10:22:48","modified_gmt":"2015-09-22T05:22:48","slug":"s%c9%99faq%c9%99t-cavansirli-sevginin-gozl%c9%99ri-romaninin-xiv-hiss%c9%99si","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=15037","title":{"rendered":"\u015e\u0259faq\u0259t CAVAN\u015e\u0130RL\u0130.\u201dSevginin g\u00f6zl\u0259ri\u201d roman\u0131n\u0131n XIV hiss\u0259si"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"sc\"<\/a><\/p>\n

S\u0259f\u0259r c\u0259ld pill\u0259kanlardan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 sirk\u0259l\u0259di.
\n– Fidan, Fidan oyna, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc a\u00e7.
\nFidan \u0259liyl\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 tutub zar\u0131d\u0131.
\n– Ba\u015f\u0131m \u00e7ox pis a\u011fray\u0131r.
\nS\u0259f\u0259r Fidan\u0131n aya\u011fa qalxmas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn k\u00f6m\u0259k edirdi.
\n– Qalx aya\u011fa, s\u0259ni aparacam h\u0259kim\u0259. S\u0259ni bu v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 qoya bilm\u0259r\u0259m.
\nFidan\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fc-g\u00f6z\u00fc qan i\u00e7ind\u0259ydi.
\n– Laz\u0131m deyil.
\n– Qalx deyir\u0259m, h\u0259kim\u0259 getm\u0259liyik. \u00dcz\u00fcn-g\u00f6z\u00fcn d\u0259 pis g\u00fcnd\u0259dir. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc idar\u0259 ed\u0259 bilm\u0259dim.
\n– Bizi yaradana and olsun, s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t el\u0259m\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m.
\nS\u0259f\u0259r art\u0131q daha da \u0259s\u0259bl\u0259\u015firdi.
\n– S\u0259sini k\u0259s, e\u015fit m\u0259ni. Gedirik.
\nS\u0259f\u0259r Fidan\u0131 x\u0259st\u0259xanaya g\u0259tirdi. H\u0259kim Fidan\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 bax\u0131b S\u0259f\u0259rin yan\u0131nda soru\u015fdu:
\n– S\u0259ni kim bu g\u00fcn\u0259 qoyub bel\u0259?
\nS\u0259f\u0259r ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, Fidan yalan dan\u0131\u015fmal\u0131 oldu. \u0130st\u0259mirdi sevdiyi ki\u015fini pis v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 qoysun.
\n– Yolda siqanlar pulumu ist\u0259dil\u0259r verm\u0259dim. T\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r \u00fcst\u00fcm\u0259.
\nH\u0259kim – V\u0259h\u015fi u\u015fa\u011f\u0131, v\u0259h\u015fi
\nTibb bac\u0131s\u0131 Fidan\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 d\u0259rman vurdu.
\nTibb bac\u0131s\u0131 – Bu d\u0259rman\u0131 vururam ki, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn \u015fi\u015fi tez yats\u0131n.
\nFidan – \u00c7ox sa\u011f olun.
\nM\u00fcayin\u0259d\u0259n sonra m\u0259lum oldu ki, Fidan ba\u015f\u0131ndan z\u0259d\u0259 almay\u0131b. S\u0259f\u0259r h\u0259kim\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131.
\n– H\u0259kim, d\u0259qiq he\u00e7 n\u0259yi yoxdur? Y\u0259ni, laz\u0131md\u0131rsa x\u0259st\u0259xanada yata bil\u0259r.
\n– narahat olmay\u0131n, ni\u015fanl\u0131n\u0131zda ciddi el\u0259 d\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 yoxdur. Bir az \u00fcz\u00fc g\u00f6y\u0259r\u0259c\u0259k, o da iz qalmayacaq.
\n– \u00c7ox sa\u011f olun.
\nS\u0259f\u0259r laz\u0131m olan x\u0259rcl\u0259ri x\u0259st\u0259xanaya \u00f6d\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259n sonra Fidanla birlikd\u0259 ma\u015f\u0131nda oturdular. \u0130kisi d\u0259 susurdu. S\u0259f\u0259r ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 Fidangilin m\u0259hl\u0259sind\u0259n bir az aral\u0131da saxlad\u0131. Fidan u\u015faq kimi a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131.
\n– M\u0259n s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t etm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 sadiq qalm\u0131\u015fam.
\nS\u0259f\u0259r cibind\u0259ki \u015f\u0259kili \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131b Fidana uzatd\u0131.
\n– S\u0259nin yerind\u0259 olsayd\u0131m, utand\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan susard\u0131m.
\nFidan \u015f\u0259kili almam\u0131\u015f baxd\u0131.<\/p>\n

– O g\u00fcn m\u0259ni aldatd\u0131lar. Avtobus g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259…
\n– Aldad\u0131b \u015f\u0259kilini \u00e7\u0259kdil\u0259r? Lap aldatd\u0131lar, bu \u0259claf\u0131n s\u0259ni qucaqlama\u011f\u0131na n\u0259 deyirs\u0259n? El\u0259 yalan dan\u0131\u015f ki, inand\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 olsun.
\nFidan h\u00f6nk\u00fcr\u0259-h\u00f6nk\u00fcr\u0259 a\u011flad\u0131. Bilirdi ki, S\u0259f\u0259r\u0259 n\u0259 des\u0259 inanmayacaq. Qar\u015f\u0131nda dayanan insan\u0131n s\u0259n\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 inam\u0131 itibs\u0259, yoxdursa, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc m\u00fcdafi\u0259 etm\u0259yin he\u00e7 bir m\u0259nas\u0131 yoxdur.
\nS\u0259f\u0259r barma\u011f\u0131ndan \u00fcz\u00fcy\u00fc \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131b Fidana uzatd\u0131.
\n– S\u0259ni d\u00f6yd\u00fcy\u00fcm \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla m\u0259ni.
\nS\u0259f\u0259rin g\u00f6zl\u0259ri doldu.
\n– S\u0259n\u0259 can\u0131m\u0131 da etibar ed\u0259rdim. Des\u0259ydil\u0259r \u00f6l Fidan \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn… \u00d6l\u0259rdim. S\u0259n n\u0259 etdin? Ba\u015fqa ki\u015fiy\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 …
\nS\u0259f\u0259r c\u00fcml\u0259sini tamamlaya bilm\u0259di. \u00dcz\u00fcy\u00fc Fidan\u0131n quca\u011f\u0131na atd\u0131, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 rola s\u00f6yk\u0259yib a\u011flad\u0131. \u0130kisi d\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. Fidan son d\u0259f\u0259 sevgilisinin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxa-baxa \u00f6z n\u00f6vb\u0259sind\u0259 ni\u015fan \u00fcz\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc barma\u011f\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131, Quca\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcy\u00fc d\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131, ma\u015f\u0131ndan d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, oturdu\u011fu yer\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fckl\u0259rin ikisini d\u0259 qoydu. Q\u0131r\u0131q-q\u0131r\u0131q da olsa s\u00f6zl\u0259rini dey\u0259 bildi.
\n– Tanr\u0131ya and i\u00e7dim inanmad\u0131n. S\u0259nin h\u0259l\u0259 h\u0259yat t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259n yoxdur. Olsayd\u0131, qar\u015f\u0131ndak\u0131n\u0131n yalan dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b-dan\u0131\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bil\u0259rdin. Bir g\u00fcn h\u0259qiq\u0259tl\u0259ri \u00f6yr\u0259n\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n. Onda ikimiz \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 gec olacaq. Xo\u015fb\u0259xt ol S\u0259f\u0259r. Bizi ay\u0131ran ay\u0131rd\u0131, t\u0259ki s\u0259n xo\u015fb\u0259xt ol.
\nFidan ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rtd\u00fc. \u0130ki add\u0131m atm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, S\u0259f\u0259r ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fcb, uzaqla\u015fd\u0131. Ma\u015f\u0131n g\u00f6zd\u0259n it\u0259n\u0259c\u0259n Fidan baxd\u0131. Sonra g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 sildi, m\u0259hl\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f getdi. Qap\u0131lar\u0131na yax\u0131nla\u015fanda qon\u015fular qap\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131na y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. T\u0259hmin\u0259 d\u0259 qap\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131ndayd\u0131, a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. Fidan\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 ona yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131. Fidan\u0131 a\u011flamaq tutdu.
\n– T\u0259hmin\u0259, n\u0259 olub? Anam, anam hardad\u0131?
\nT\u0259hmin\u0259 ist\u0259mirdi Fidan ev\u0259 girsin, qolundan tutmu\u015fdu.
\n– Ev\u0259 girm\u0259, xahi\u015f edir\u0259m, burda dayan.
\n– N\u0259 olub ax\u0131? Anama n\u0259 olub? Ana… Ana…
\nFidan T\u0259hmin\u0259ni it\u0259l\u0259yib qon\u015fu u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131n, cavan g\u0259linl\u0259rin aras\u0131ndan ke\u00e7ib i\u00e7\u0259ri ke\u00e7di. Anas\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259dyalla \u00f6rtm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r. Qon\u015fular\u0131 C\u0259mil\u0259, dig\u0259rl\u0259ri a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131.
\nC\u0259mil\u0259 Fidana yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131.
\n– Q\u0131z\u0131m, h\u0259yatd\u0131. Allah r\u0259hm\u0259t el\u0259sin.
\nFidan h\u0259y\u0259candan k\u0259k\u0259l\u0259di – Nec\u0259 y\u0259ni r\u0259hm\u0259t el\u0259sin? Kim\u0259 r\u0259hm\u0259t el\u0259sin?
\nT\u0259hmin\u0259 d\u0259 ev\u0259 girdi. Fidan anas\u0131n\u0131n quca\u011f\u0131na qa\u00e7d\u0131. \u018fdyal\u0131 anas\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kdi. Anas\u0131n\u0131 qucaqlay\u0131b h\u00f6nk\u00fcr-h\u00f6nk\u00fcr a\u011flad\u0131. A\u011flaya-a\u011flaya deyirdi.
\n– Niy\u0259? Niy\u0259 m\u0259ni t\u0259k qoydun ana? Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 kims\u0259siz qoyub hara gedirs\u0259n? m\u0259ni d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcnl\u0259 aparayd\u0131n he\u00e7 olmasa. Ka\u015f yerin\u0259 m\u0259n \u00f6l\u0259ydim, g\u00f6z\u0259l anam. Yaz\u0131q anam, b\u0259xtsiz anam.
\nT\u0259hmin\u0259 Fidan\u0131 sakitl\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r.
\n– Qurban olum Fidan, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6rt anan\u0131n, g\u00fcnahd\u0131.
\nT\u0259hmin\u0259 Fidan\u0131 meyidd\u0259n arala\u015fd\u0131randa C\u0259mil\u0259 \u0259dyalla \u00c7i\u00e7\u0259yin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6rtd\u00fc.
\nAx\u015fam\u0131 \u00c7i\u00e7\u0259yi qon\u015fu ki\u015fil\u0259ri yax\u0131nl\u0131qdak\u0131 q\u0259birstanl\u0131qda basd\u0131rd\u0131lar. Fidan tabutun arxas\u0131nca getm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi, T\u0259hmin\u0259, qon\u015fular tutub saxlay\u0131rd\u0131. S\u0259h\u0259risi g\u00fcn qon\u015fulara y\u00fcng\u00fcl halva ver\u0259nd\u0259n sonra, Fidan C\u0259mil\u0259y\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131.
\n– C\u0259mil\u0259 xala, anama bird\u0259n bir\u0259 n\u0259 oldu ax\u0131. sa\u011flam idi, n\u0259 oldu?
\n– T\u0259zyiqi qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259kim \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131q, dedi beynin\u0259 qan s\u0131zm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Allah r\u0259hm\u0259t el\u0259sin, \u00f6lm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l \u00e7ox \u0259s\u0259biydi. \u00d6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 deyinirdi.
\n– Ayd\u0131nd\u0131.
\nFidan astaca T\u0259hmin\u0259y\u0259 – Anam\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u0259 bais C\u0259mil\u0259dir. Anam\u0131 da \u0259limd\u0259n ald\u0131. Allah onun b\u0259las\u0131n\u0131 versin. M\u0259n\u0259 m\u00f6htac el\u0259sin.
\n– A\u011flama. Bir azdan qon\u015fular ged\u0259c\u0259k, m\u0259n d\u0259 t\u0259k ya\u015fay\u0131ram. M\u0259niml\u0259 ya\u015fayarsan?
\n– Ya\u015fayaram. sa\u011f ol ki, yan\u0131mdasan.
\nAx\u015fama yax\u0131n T\u0259hmin\u0259 Fidan\u0131n paltarlar\u0131n\u0131 s\u0259liq\u0259li \u00e7amadana y\u0131\u011f\u0131b birlikd\u0259 onun ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ev\u0259 g\u0259ldil\u0259r. Fidan divanda oturub a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. T\u0259hmin\u0259 onu sakitl\u0259\u015fdirib dedi:
\n– \u018fziz bac\u0131m, s\u0259ni ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m, t\u0259s\u0259lli veril\u0259si bir \u015fey d\u0259 yoxdur ki, t\u0259s\u0259lli verim dinc\u0259l. He\u00e7 kim bu d\u00fcnyan\u0131 tutub getmir. \u0130ndi ke\u00e7\u0259k \u0259sas m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259y\u0259. Orda qon\u015fular\u0131n da p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lda\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar ki, bu q\u0131z niy\u0259 bu g\u00fcnd\u0259di? \u00dcz\u00fcn\u0259 n\u0259 olub bel\u0259? G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn, \u00e7\u0259n\u0259nin alt\u0131 g\u00f6y\u0259rib.
\n– S\u0259f\u0259r el\u0259di.
\nT\u0259hmin\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndi: – N\u0259? S\u0259f\u0259r qay\u0131d\u0131b?
\n– Qay\u0131d\u0131bda, \u00e7\u0259kil\u0259n \u015f\u0259kil g\u00f6st\u0259rilibd\u0259. Q\u0131sas\u0131, t\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 m\u0259n yox, o d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.
\n– N\u0259 axmaq adamd\u0131? El\u0259 bil atas\u0131n\u0131n o\u011flu deyil.
\nFidan T\u0259hmin\u0259y\u0259 baxd\u0131.
\nT\u0259hmin\u0259 – El\u0259 baxma, s\u0259ni yox, m\u0259ni zorlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. K\u0259rim yen\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259ni tutdu, anlay\u0131rd\u0131.Sad\u0259c\u0259 bir-birimizin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxa bilmirdik. S\u0259n ki bakir\u0259s\u0259n. Y\u0259ni o q\u0259d\u0259r a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131z o\u011fland\u0131 ki, s\u0259ni aparmad\u0131 h\u0259kim\u0259?
\nFidan\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n doldu. \u00dcz\u00fcn\u00fc ovucklar\u0131nda gizl\u0259tdi. T\u0259hmin\u0259 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259ndi.
\n– Olmaya aran\u0131zda n\u0259 is\u0259 olub? Fidan, s\u0259n bakir\u0259 deyils\u0259n?
\nFidan susurdu, a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. T\u0259hmin\u0259 h\u0259r \u015feyi anlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, Fidan\u0131 qucaqlad\u0131…
\n– Can, can… Yax\u015f\u0131 sakitl\u0259\u015f, a\u011flama.
\n***
\nK\u0259rim qap\u0131dan i\u00e7\u0259ri gir\u0259nd\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 sevincl\u0259 Lamiy\u0259ni qucaqlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Q\u0131zlar K\u0259rimi g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 ikiqat sevindil\u0259r, qucaqla\u015f\u0131b g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r.
\nK\u0259rim – Xeyirdimi Ayb\u0259niz, n\u0259y\u0259 sevinirs\u0259n?
\nAyb\u0259niz bir az \u00e7a\u015fd\u0131 – \u015eey\u0259, Lamiy\u0259 il\u0259 plan qururduq. N\u0259 i\u015f g\u00f6rs\u0259k u\u011fur qazanar\u0131q?
\n– \u0130mtahanlar\u0131n\u0131n cavab\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xmad\u0131?
\n– Yox h\u0259l\u0259. G\u00f6zl\u0259yirik.
\n– Anangil hardad\u0131?
\n– S\u0259f\u0259r gec\u0259d\u0259n g\u0259lm\u0259yib. Anam da Aynur xalayla bac\u0131s\u0131gil\u0259 getdi.
\nK\u0259rim \u00e7\u0259m\u0259dan\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb ikinci m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259y\u0259 qalxa-qalxa:
\n– Lap yax\u015f\u0131, m\u0259n yat\u0131ram, S\u0259f\u0259rl\u0259 anangil g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 oyand\u0131rars\u0131n\u0131z m\u0259ni.
\nAyb\u0259niz – Yax\u015f\u0131.
\nK\u0259rim ota\u011f\u0131n\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rt\u0259nd\u0259 Lamiy\u0259 Ayb\u0259niz\u0259 dedi:
\n– Ma\u015fallah, yalan dan\u0131\u015fma\u011f\u0131 \u0259la bacar\u0131rsan.
\n– Neyl\u0259m\u0259liy\u0259m? Dem\u0259li deyil\u0259m ki, n\u0259v\u0259nin atas\u0131 z\u0259ng el\u0259yib evl\u0259nm\u0259k ist\u0259yir.
\n– Yava\u015f dan\u0131\u015f, e\u015fid\u0259r. El\u00e7inin s\u0259n\u0259ti n\u0259 idi?
\n– M\u00fch\u0259ndis.
\n– Hmm. B\u0259xti g\u0259tirib, K\u0259rim day\u0131 kimi qaynatas\u0131 olan k\u00fcr\u0259k\u0259n getdi qaba\u011fa.
\n– C\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m olsun, t\u0259ki ad\u0131m \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131n. Yax\u015f\u0131 ki, z\u0259ng el\u0259di. Yoxsa Rafiq\u0259d\u0259 yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u0259lirdi. M\u0259cbur idi m\u0259ni alma\u011fa.
\n– Onu d\u00fcz deyirs\u0259n.
\nLamiy\u0259 Ayb\u0259nizin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 dem\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 dedi: – N\u00f6vb\u0259 m\u0259nimdir. El\u00e7in s\u0259n\u0259, S\u0259f\u0259r d\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 qism\u0259t olar.
\n***
\nRafiq ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 sald\u0131. Aynurla C\u0259mil\u0259 ma\u015f\u0131ndan d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r. C\u0259mil\u0259 Aynura – S\u0259n i\u00e7\u0259ri ke\u00e7 g\u0259lir\u0259m.
\nAynur – yax\u015f\u0131 – deyib ev\u0259 girdi. C\u0259mil\u0259 Rafiqin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ke\u00e7di.
\n– Dedikl\u0259rimi d\u0259rind\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fcs\u0259n?
\nRafiq ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sald\u0131.
\n– Bacarmaram, incim\u0259yin. Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131z o s\u0259hvi \u00f6z\u00fc edib. Bunda m\u0259nim he\u00e7 bir pay\u0131m yoxdur.
\n– Bilir\u0259m. Axmaq m\u0259nim q\u0131z\u0131m olub. M\u0259n s\u0259nd\u0259n bu yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcm \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131z q\u0131z\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ist\u0259mir\u0259m. K\u0259rim\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Ax\u0131, ail\u0259niz\u0259 u\u015faql\u0131qdan k\u00f6m\u0259k edib. Ke\u00e7\u0259n il bac\u0131n\u0131n u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u0259m\u0259liyyat\u0131na da pul verib. Evl\u0259n, sonra bo\u015fanarsan.
\n– B\u0259s u\u015faq? O u\u015faq m\u0259nim deyil,soyad\u0131m\u0131 ver\u0259c\u0259m, atam,anam n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259ri kimi h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u0259zizl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r. He\u00e7 K\u0259rim day\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fc raz\u0131 olmaz bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259y\u0259.
\n– O bar\u0259d\u0259 narahat olma. S\u0259nd\u0259n yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 tapacaq?
\n– \u0130ncim\u0259yin, bacarmaram. Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131za ba\u015fqa \u0259r axtar\u0131n.
\n– A\u011f\u0131ls\u0131zl\u0131q edirs\u0259n. Q\u0131z\u0131mla evl\u0259ns\u0259n el\u0259 bilirs\u0259n ki, s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n? K\u0259rim s\u0259ni haralara aparacaq, x\u0259b\u0259rin yoxdur.
\n– Onsuzda i\u015fd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xacam. Bundan ba\u015fqa C\u0259mil\u0259 xan\u0131m sevdiyim q\u0131z var. Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131zla evl\u0259ns\u0259m o q\u0131z\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxa bilm\u0259r\u0259m.
\n– Lap yax\u015f\u0131, \u00e7\u0131x. M\u0259n d\u0259 K\u0259rim\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259m ki, q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 hamil\u0259 qoyub, i\u015fd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xmaqla can\u0131n\u0131 qurtarmaq ist\u0259yir. S\u0259n o u\u015faq do\u011fulanacan ya t\u00fcrm\u0259liks\u0259n, ya da evl\u0259n\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n. El\u0259 bilirs\u0259n imkan ver\u0259r\u0259r\u0259m h\u0259qiq\u0259t \u00fcz\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xa? Yax\u015f\u0131 fikirl\u0259\u015f. A\u011fl\u0131n ona-buna getm\u0259sin. M\u0259nim ad\u0131m C\u0259mil\u0259dir.
\nRafiq a\u011fz\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q C\u0259mil\u0259y\u0259 baxd\u0131. C\u0259mil\u0259 ev\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f getdi. Rafiq d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, do\u011frudan da C\u0259mil\u0259 t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259li qad\u0131nd\u0131r.
\n***
\n\u0130ki g\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra S\u0259f\u0259r gec\u0259 ev\u0259 g\u0259ldi. K\u0259rimd\u0259n ba\u015fqa ham\u0131 yatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Qonaq ota\u011f\u0131nda televizora bax\u0131rd\u0131. K\u0259rim o\u011flunu g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndi.
\n– S\u0259n\u0259 n\u0259 olub bel\u0259? \u0130ki g\u00fcn g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m ar\u0131qlam\u0131san. G\u00f6zl\u0259rin d\u0259 \u015fi\u015fibdi.
\nS\u0259f\u0259r atas\u0131n\u0131 qucaqlad\u0131, u\u015faq kimi a\u011flad\u0131. K\u0259rim d\u0259 k\u00f6vr\u0259ldi.
\n– N\u0259 olub o\u011flum. Fidanla dala\u015fm\u0131s\u0131z?
\n– \u00d6lm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m ata. D\u00f6z\u0259 bilmir\u0259m.
\n– N\u0259 olub ax\u0131?
\n– Evd\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m.
\n– Yax\u015f\u0131, evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xaq. Rahat bir yer\u0259 ged\u0259k.
\nQap\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131ndan ata-o\u011fulun s\u00f6hb\u0259tini e\u015fid\u0259n C\u0259mil\u0259 dill\u0259ndi.
\n– Laz\u0131m deyil K\u0259rim. \u00d6z\u00fcm s\u0259n\u0259 dem\u0259dim ki, o\u011flundan e\u015fid\u0259s\u0259n.
\n– N\u0259 olub?
\n– O\u011flun ni\u015fan\u0131 qaytar\u0131b.
\nK\u0259rim o\u011fluna bax\u0131r.
\n– Anan d\u00fcz deyir?
\nS\u0259f\u0259r – M\u0259cbur idim. M\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t el\u0259mi\u015fdi. S\u00fcbutlar\u0131m da var.
\nK\u0259rim t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndi – Fidan s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t edib? Bu m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil. O q\u0131z s\u0259ni sevirdi.
\nC\u0259mil\u0259 – G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr sevm\u0259yib.
\nK\u0259rim diqq\u0259tl\u0259 C\u0259mil\u0259y\u0259 bax\u0131r, o\u011fluna deyir.
\n– B\u0259lk\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259 qurublar, g\u00f6z\u00fcnl\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u00fcs\u0259n?
\nS\u0259f\u0259r cibind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015f\u0259kili atas\u0131na g\u00f6st\u0259rir. K\u0259rim \u015f\u0259kil\u0259 baxanda susur, he\u00e7 n\u0259 dey\u0259 bilmir. Bir az ke\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259n sonra C\u0259mil\u0259 dill\u0259nir.
\n– M\u0259n deyirdim ata-bala inanm\u0131rd\u0131n\u0131z.
\nK\u0259rim – Bu ki\u015fi kimdir bunu qucaqlay\u0131b?
\nS\u0259f\u0259r – Sevgilisidir. \u018fclaf\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fam. Fidan\u0131 tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 dedi. Fidan da \u015f\u0259kil\u0259 baxanda cavab ver\u0259 bilm\u0259di.
\nK\u0259rim – \u0130nanmaq \u00e7\u0259tindir.
\nC\u0259mil\u0259 – Niy\u0259 yalan deyim, m\u0259n d\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259mirdim. H\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n S\u0259f\u0259ri sevdiyin\u0259 inanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.
\nK\u0259rim he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259di, bir o\u011fluna , bir arvad\u0131na, bir d\u0259 \u0259lind\u0259ki \u015f\u0259kil\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131.
\n***<\/p>\n

K\u0259rim s\u0259h\u0259risi g\u00fcn \u00c7i\u00e7\u0259kgilin ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259hl\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 qon\u015fular \u00c7i\u00e7\u0259yin v\u0259fat etdiyini, Fidan\u0131n is\u0259 bir q\u0131zla qo\u015fulub getdiyini dedil\u0259r. Qon\u015fu C\u0259mil\u0259 dedi:
\n– Bizim ham\u0131m\u0131za t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u00fc g\u0259l\u0259n o oldu ki, q\u0131z\u0131n anas\u0131 v\u0259fat etdi, n\u0259 ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131, n\u0259 d\u0259 onlardan bir n\u0259f\u0259r d\u0259 olsun g\u0259lm\u0259di. Yegan\u0259 adams\u0131n\u0131z ki, maraqland\u0131n\u0131z.
\nK\u0259rim – M\u0259n burda yoxuydum. T\u0259z\u0259 qay\u0131tm\u0131\u015fam.
\nK\u0259rim qon\u015fularla sa\u011folla\u015f\u0131b ma\u015f\u0131na oturdu. Onu b\u0259yaqdan ma\u015f\u0131nda g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259n Rafiq\u0259 dedi.
\n– Burda n\u0259 is\u0259 var, \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. \u0130nanm\u0131ram Fidan pis yolun qad\u0131n\u0131 ola.
\n– Niy\u0259 yalan deyim, m\u0259n d\u0259 inanm\u0131ram.
\n– Yad\u0131nda saxla, bu d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sirri el\u0259 bu d\u00fcnyadada a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r. T\u0259hmin\u0259 d\u0259 buxar olub g\u00f6yl\u0259r\u0259 qalx\u0131b.
\n– \u018fvv\u0259l i\u015fl\u0259diyi i\u015f yerl\u0259rin\u0259 getdim. Ora qay\u0131tmay\u0131b.
\n– Tapar\u0131q, s\u00fcr ged\u0259k, \u015f\u0259kilin arxas\u0131ndak\u0131 \u00fcnvana ged\u0259rs\u0259n. \u00d6z\u00fcnl\u0259 iki adam g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259rs\u0259n.
\n– Aha.
\n– \u018fg\u0259r Fidan\u0131n bu adamla \u0259laq\u0259si varsa, onda bil\u0259c\u0259yik h\u0259qiq\u0259tdi, ya yox.
\n– Ba\u015f \u00fcst\u0259.
\n***
\nT\u0259hmin\u0259 televizorda \u0259r\u0259b r\u0259qsinin inc\u0259likl\u0259rini izah ed\u0259n qad\u0131n\u0131 dinl\u0259yir, onun h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rini t\u0259krarlay\u0131rd\u0131. Fidan T\u0259hmin\u0259y\u0259 bax\u0131b g\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc.
\n– Ay q\u0131z, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00fcld\u00fcrm\u0259, \u0259ynini geyin, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259 i\u015f tapmal\u0131y\u0131q. Ev d\u0259d\u0259mizin evi deyil e, kiray\u0259di.
\n– D\u00fcz deyirs\u0259n, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259 m\u00fctl\u0259q i\u015f tapmal\u0131y\u0131q. G\u0259r\u0259k \u0259r\u0259b r\u0259qsinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm ki, yax\u015f\u0131 oynaya bilim.
\n– Nec\u0259? G\u00f6b\u0259yini a\u00e7\u0131b r\u0259qs ed\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n? Soyunacaqsan?
\n– Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259dim, \u0259r\u0259b r\u0259qsi ed\u0259n soyunur ki? Lap d\u0259h\u015f\u0259ts\u0259n. Bizimkil\u0259rin soyunma\u011f\u0131na baxma. \u018fr\u0259bl\u0259rd\u0259 r\u0259qqas\u0259l\u0259r soyunmur.
\n– H\u0259\u0259? M\u0259n hardan bilim?
\nBird\u0259n T\u0259hmin\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rd\u0131.
\n– Fidan.
\nFidan dik at\u0131ld\u0131.
\n– N\u0259 olub? S\u0259n niy\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rd\u0131n?
\n– S\u0259nin v\u0259siq\u0259n o \u0259clafda qal\u0131bd\u0131. Ax\u0131, s\u0259n \u00e7antan\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259mi\u015fdin.
\nFidan oturdu\u011fu yerd\u0259n aya\u011fa qalx\u0131r.
\n– \u0130ndi m\u0259n n\u0259 edim?
\n– V\u0259siq\u0259ni o \u0259clafdan almaq laz\u0131md\u0131r.
\n– Nec\u0259? Ora gets\u0259k \u00e7\u0131xa bilm\u0259rik.
\n– Ged\u0259c\u0259yik. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 biz Mahmudu t\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 salaca\u011f\u0131q. Paltarlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259k, \u00e7\u0131xaq.
\n– M\u0259n qorxuram.
\n– Q\u0259ti qorxma, bizim itir\u0259c\u0259yimiz n\u0259yimiz var ax\u0131? He\u00e7 n\u0259. Yad\u0131nda saxla, itirm\u0259y\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259yi olmayan adam\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 kozlar\u0131 olur. Bunu bir kitabda oxumu\u015fdum. Biz o al\u00e7a\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131na ged\u0259c\u0259yik, i\u015fsiz oldu\u011fumuzu dey\u0259rik. O biz\u0259 q\u0131zlar\u0131ndan biri kimi baxacaq. Onlar biziml\u0259 oynayan kimi oynayar\u0131q.
\n– N\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan? Bunu bacarmaram.
\n– Bacarmal\u0131y\u0131q. \u0130ndi s\u0259n\u0259d-s\u00fcn\u0259d i\u015fi d\u00fcz\u0259ltm\u0259k \u00e7\u0259tindir. O \u015f\u0259r\u0259fsiz m\u0259ni zorlay\u0131bd\u0131r, s\u0259ni d\u0259 ni\u015fanl\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n sal\u0131bd\u0131. N\u0259di? deyirs\u0259n, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn alt\u0131na birini ili\u015fdirm\u0259y\u0259k? Yaman qorxaq q\u0131zsan.
\nFidan t\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcd edirdi, bilmirdi raz\u0131 olsun , ya yox…<\/p>\n

Ard\u0131 var…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

S\u0259f\u0259r c\u0259ld pill\u0259kanlardan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 sirk\u0259l\u0259di. – Fidan, Fidan oyna, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc a\u00e7. Fidan \u0259liyl\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 tutub zar\u0131d\u0131. – Ba\u015f\u0131m \u00e7ox pis a\u011fray\u0131r. S\u0259f\u0259r Fidan\u0131n aya\u011fa qalxmas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn k\u00f6m\u0259k edirdi. – Qalx aya\u011fa, s\u0259ni aparacam h\u0259kim\u0259. S\u0259ni bu v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 qoya bilm\u0259r\u0259m. Fidan\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fc-g\u00f6z\u00fc qan i\u00e7ind\u0259ydi. – Laz\u0131m deyil. – Qalx deyir\u0259m, h\u0259kim\u0259 getm\u0259liyik. \u00dcz\u00fcn-g\u00f6z\u00fcn d\u0259 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15037","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15037","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=15037"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15037\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15038,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15037\/revisions\/15038"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=15037"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=15037"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=15037"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}