{"id":16007,"date":"2015-11-17T09:00:23","date_gmt":"2015-11-17T05:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=16007"},"modified":"2015-11-17T09:52:10","modified_gmt":"2015-11-17T05:52:10","slug":"eyvaz-zeynalov-psixologiya-mu%c9%99llimi-hekay%c9%99","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=16007","title":{"rendered":"Eyvaz ZEYNALOV.”Psixologiya m\u00fc\u0259llimi” (Hekay\u0259)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"eyvaz<\/a><\/p>\n

Yad\u0131mdad\u0131, istitutda oxuyan zaman semestr imtahanlar\u0131n\u0131 verib Bak\u0131dan rayona, evimiz\u0259 qay\u0131dan kimi anam m\u0259ni yan\u0131na sal\u0131b qarda\u015f\u0131gil\u0259, day\u0131mla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 aparard\u0131. Bunu bir ad\u0259t, \u0259n\u0259n\u0259 hal\u0131na salm\u0131\u015f, m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u015f\u0259r\u0259f i\u015fin\u0259 \u00e7evirmi\u015fdi. \u0130ndi onun yolunu bac\u0131m davam etdirirdi. Q\u0131\u015f imtahanlar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 ba\u015fa vurub t\u0259til\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n o\u011flunu biz\u0259, m\u0259nim g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u0259 g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi.
\nBac\u0131m o\u011flu universitetin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc kursunda oxuyurdu. H\u0259m d\u0259 \u0259la qiym\u0259tl\u0259rl\u0259. Bac\u0131m yeri d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 deyirdi, yax\u015f\u0131 o\u011ful day\u0131s\u0131na \u00e7\u0259k\u0259r. Oxumaqda m\u0259n\u0259 ox\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131na i\u015far\u0259ydi.
\nHal-\u0259hvaldan sonra onu h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259ki kimi yen\u0259 sor\u011fu-suala tutdum. N\u00f6vb\u0259yl\u0259 imtahanlar\u0131, universitetd\u0259ki i\u015fl\u0259ri, hans\u0131 m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rin d\u0259rs dedikl\u0259ri il\u0259 maraqlanma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. M\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rind\u0259n Z\u0259rg\u0259rlinin ad\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fid\u0259nd\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r ald\u0131m:
\n– N\u0259d\u0259n d\u0259rs deyir?
\n– M\u00fcasir \u0259d\u0259biyyatdan, – dedi.
\n– Nec\u0259di? M\u00fchazir\u0259l\u0259ri xo\u015funa g\u0259lir?
\nBac\u0131o\u011flum h\u0259l\u0259 niy\u0259 m\u0259hz Z\u0259rg\u0259rlinin \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 dayand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilm\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259 onu a\u011f\u0131zdolusu t\u0259rifl\u0259di: savadl\u0131, t\u0259l\u0259bkar m\u00fc\u0259llim olmaqla b\u0259rab\u0259r, g\u00f6z\u0259l insand\u0131.
\nM\u0259mnun qald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcb soru\u015fdu:
\n– Tan\u0131\u015fs\u0131n\u0131z, day\u0131?
\n– Eyni fak\u00fclt\u0259d\u0259, h\u0259tta bir qrupda oxumu\u015fuq, – dedim. – Heyf ki, \u00e7oxdand\u0131 ondan x\u0259b\u0259rim yoxdu.
\nS\u00f6hb\u0259timizin bu yerind\u0259 bac\u0131m k\u0259nardan m\u00fcdaxil\u0259 etdi:
\n– \u018f, ged\u0259nd\u0259 tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131q ver\u0259r, dey\u0259rs\u0259n, filank\u0259sin bac\u0131s\u0131 o\u011fluyam.
\n– Bilmir\u0259m yax\u015f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259r, yoxsa yox, – bac\u0131m o\u011flu \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 bax\u0131b m\u0259nd\u0259n cavab g\u00f6zl\u0259di.
\n– Neyn\u0259k, qarda\u015f\u0131m ona \u0259trafl\u0131 bir m\u0259ktub yazar, s\u0259ni tap\u015f\u0131rar, ged\u0259nd\u0259 apar\u0131b ver\u0259rs\u0259n, h\u0259r halda, laz\u0131m olar, – bac\u0131m f\u00fcrs\u0259ti qa\u00e7\u0131rmad\u0131. – Yazarsanm\u0131, qarda\u015f?
\nXeyli duruxandan sonra dedim:
\n– Bac\u0131o\u011flu ged\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r bir \u015fey fikirl\u0259\u015f\u0259r\u0259m.
\nDediyim kimi, bac\u0131m anam\u0131z\u0131n yolunu davam etdirirdi. Anam\u0131n qarda\u015f\u0131, day\u0131m rayonda ya\u015fasa da tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015f alimdi. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 anamla onun g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 ged\u0259nd\u0259 indi m\u0259n bac\u0131m o\u011flunun t\u0259hsili, imtahanlar\u0131, m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259ri il\u0259 nec\u0259 maraqlan\u0131ramsa, o da m\u0259niml\u0259, t\u0259xmin\u0259n, el\u0259 bu c\u00fcr maraqlanard\u0131. M\u0259n d\u0259 bac\u0131m o\u011flu kimi, \u00f6z d\u0259rsl\u0259rimd\u0259n, \u00fcr\u0259yim\u0259 yatan savadl\u0131 m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rimd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015far, onlar\u0131 a\u011f\u0131zdolusu t\u0259rifl\u0259y\u0259rdim.
\n\u0130kinci kursda oxuyanda bizim bir psixologiya m\u00fc\u0259llimimiz vard\u0131. \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim. Onun m\u00fchazir\u0259l\u0259rinin vur\u011funuydum. Birini d\u0259 buraxmazd\u0131m. B\u00fct\u00fcn diqq\u0259timi c\u0259ml\u0259y\u0259r, \u0259vv\u0259ld\u0259n ax\u0131racan heyranl\u0131qla qulaq asard\u0131m. Bir qo\u015fa saat\u0131n ha\u00e7an sona \u00e7atd\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan x\u0259b\u0259r tutmazd\u0131m. Onda ay\u0131lard\u0131m ki, \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim art\u0131q auditoriyan\u0131 t\u0259rk el\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259, t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015flar\u0131m bay\u0131ra ax\u0131\u015fmaqdad\u0131lar.
\nDay\u0131m \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llimi m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rimin ham\u0131s\u0131ndan art\u0131q t\u0259rifl\u0259diyimi g\u00f6r\u00fcb onu yax\u0131ndan tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, dostu oldu\u011funu, h\u0259tta ha\u00e7ansa namiz\u0259dlik dissertasiyas\u0131na yax\u015f\u0131 bir r\u0259y d\u0259 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u0259di. Ax\u0131rda da \u0259lav\u0259 etdi:
\n– Bak\u0131ya ged\u0259nd\u0259 yad\u0131ma salarsan, \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259 bir m\u0259ktub yazaram.
\n– B\u0259lk\u0259 laz\u0131m deyil, day\u0131? – m\u0131z\u0131ldand\u0131m. Tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131q, tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131qla oxuyanlardan z\u0259hl\u0259m gedirdi.
\n– Niy\u0259? – Day\u0131m \u0259vv\u0259l t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndi, sonra: – H\u0259, s\u0259ni ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m, – dedi. – \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259 yazaca\u011f\u0131m m\u0259ktub bir dostluq m\u0259ktubu olacaq.
\nT\u0259til sona yetdi. Anam\u0131n qoydu\u011fu qayda \u00fczr\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 gedib g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcm kimi, Bak\u0131ya yollananda day\u0131mla xudahafizl\u0259\u015fm\u0259yi d\u0259 unutmad\u0131m. Psixologiya m\u00fc\u0259llimim\u0259 m\u0259ktub yazma\u011f\u0131 yada salma\u011fa is\u0259 ehtiyac duymad\u0131m. Amma qap\u0131dan \u00e7\u0131xanda day\u0131m m\u0259n\u0259 a\u011fz\u0131ba\u011fl\u0131 bir z\u0259rf uzatd\u0131.
\n– Bunu \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259 ver\u0259rs\u0259n, – dedi.
\nM\u0259ktubu h\u0259l\u0259 ilk m\u00fchazir\u0259sin\u0259 ba\u015flamam\u0131\u015f, auiditoriyan\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131ndaca m\u00fc\u0259llimim\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131rd\u0131m. H\u0259m d\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m ki, kims\u0259 bunu g\u00f6rm\u0259sin. N\u0259 m\u0259n ona \u0259lav\u0259 bir s\u00f6z dedim, n\u0259 d\u0259 o m\u0259n\u0259.
\nEl\u0259 hey d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm: g\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n, day\u0131m m\u0259ktubunda \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259 m\u0259nim haqq\u0131mda n\u0259 yaz\u0131b? Bu haqda day\u0131mdan he\u00e7 n\u0259 soru\u015fmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.
\nBir h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259n sonra yen\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn diqq\u0259timi toplay\u0131b \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llimin n\u00f6vb\u0259ti m\u00fchazir\u0259sin\u0259 hu\u015f-gu\u015fla qulaq asmaqdayd\u0131m. \u015eirin dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerd\u0259 bird\u0259n n\u0259s\u0259 xat\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f kimi, n\u0259f\u0259sini d\u0259rib dayand\u0131. M\u00fcnasib\u0259tsiz-filans\u0131z dedi:
\n– Bilirsiniz, sizin aran\u0131zda h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 ana u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 kimi m\u0259n\u0259 tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131q m\u0259ktubu yazd\u0131ranlar var.
\nAuiditoriyada birc\u0259 anda al\u0259m qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ham\u0131 bir-birinin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxma\u011fa, p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lda\u015fma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131.
\n\u0130lahi! Yer yar\u0131lsa, yer\u0259 girm\u0259y\u0259 haz\u0131rd\u0131m. Bu n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131? Bu n\u0259 t\u00f6hm\u0259tdi! Ax\u0131, m\u0259nim o m\u0259ktubu yazd\u0131rma\u011fa he\u00e7 bir ehtiyac\u0131m yoxdu! Buracan kims\u0259nin minn\u0259tini \u00e7\u0259km\u0259mi\u015f, t\u00f6hm\u0259tini g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259mi\u015fdim. Orta m\u0259kt\u0259bi \u0259la qiym\u0259tl\u0259rl\u0259 bitirmi\u015f, instituta \u00f6z biliyiml\u0259 girmi\u015fdim. Valideynl\u0259rim Bak\u0131n\u0131n, oxudu\u011fum institutun s\u0259mtini bel\u0259 tan\u0131m\u0131rd\u0131lar. Anam m\u0259ni o\u011flanlar\u0131n\u0131 instituta q\u0259bula aparan day\u0131ma qo\u015fub Bak\u0131ya g\u00f6nd\u0259rmi\u015fdi. Onlar imtahandan k\u0259silmi\u015f, m\u0259n q\u0259bul olunmu\u015fdum. Dekanl\u0131q \u201c\u0259la\u201d qiym\u0259tl\u0259rim\u0259 v\u0259 n\u00fcmun\u0259vi \u0259xlaq\u0131ma g\u00f6r\u0259 h\u0259r semestr evimiz\u0259, ata-anama t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr m\u0259ktubu g\u00f6nd\u0259rirdi. \u0130\u015f\u0259 bir bax, ad\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259, sevimli m\u00fc\u0259llimim indi m\u0259ni ona tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131q, tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131q m\u0259ktubu yazd\u0131rmaqda q\u0131nay\u0131r, ganahland\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131.
\nBir t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc o yer\u0259 qoymama\u011fa, ittiham\u0131n m\u0259n\u0259 aid oldu\u011funu t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015flar\u0131ma bildirm\u0259m\u0259y\u0259, b\u00fcruz\u0259 verm\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. O biri t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n aya\u011fa qalx\u0131b var s\u0259siml\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131rmaq ist\u0259yirdim: s\u0259hv edirsiniz, m\u00fc\u0259llim! \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc g\u00fcnaha bat\u0131rmay\u0131n! O m\u0259ktubun yaz\u0131lmas\u0131nda m\u0259nim he\u00e7 bir su\u00e7um yoxdu! Onu yazma\u011f\u0131 day\u0131mdan m\u0259n xahi\u015f etm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. N\u0259 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan da x\u0259b\u0259rsiz\u0259m. Sad\u0259c\u0259, sevimli m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rimd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fanda sizi day\u0131ma daha art\u0131q t\u0259rifl\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, v\u0259ssalam! Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 yox ki, day\u0131m siz\u0259 m\u0259ktub yazs\u0131n, m\u0259ni siz\u0259 tap\u015f\u0131rs\u0131n. \u0130nan\u0131n, bu, a\u011fl\u0131m\u0131n ucundan bel\u0259 ke\u00e7m\u0259yib! Onda day\u0131m\u0131n sizi tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da h\u0259l\u0259 bilmirdim. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar ham\u0131s\u0131 bir t\u0259sad\u00fcfd\u00fc.
\nYox, buna c\u0259sar\u0259tim \u00e7atmad\u0131. D\u0259rsin ax\u0131r\u0131nacan \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 pis hiss etdim. Ona sar\u0131 baxmama\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Diqq\u0259timi n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r c\u0259ml\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259 n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitmirdim. Qulaqlar\u0131m k\u00fcy\u00fcld\u0259yirdi.
\nD\u0259rsin qurtard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bildir\u0259n z\u0259ng \u00e7al\u0131nanda sanki c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m \u0259zab\u0131ndan xilas oldum. B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc-s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc unutdum. O l\u0259n\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015f m\u0259ktubu yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 day\u0131m\u0131 da, bunu t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda a\u00e7\u0131b-a\u011fartd\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 (\u00e7ox da ad\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259mi\u015fdi) \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llimi d\u0259 q\u0131nad\u0131m.
\nH\u0259min g\u00fcnd\u0259n o m\u0259ktubun x\u0259cal\u0259ti, a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259ni h\u0259r yerd\u0259, h\u0259r saat qarabaqara izl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llimin o s\u00f6zl\u0259ri dey\u0259rk\u0259n \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki istehzal\u0131 ifad\u0259ni he\u00e7 c\u00fcr unuda, yad\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131xarda bilmirdim. Daha onun m\u00fchazir\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259 z\u0259rr\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r mara\u011f\u0131m, h\u0259v\u0259sim qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130ndi m\u0259nim n\u0259z\u0259rimd\u0259 o, \u0259n anlaqs\u0131z bir m\u00fc\u0259llimdi. M\u00fchazir\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259 s\u00fcrg\u00fcn\u0259 ged\u0259n kimi gedirdim. Onun bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 il\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmama\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Bu m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmayanda, t\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fanda \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7ox narahat, d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 pis hiss edirdim. Bu hiss q\u0259lbimd\u0259 t\u0259dric\u0259n nifr\u0259t\u0259 \u00e7evrilirdi.
\nM\u0259niml\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fanda onun da ox\u015far hissl\u0259ri ke\u00e7irdiyini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Y\u0259qin o da m\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u0259yi arzulam\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259min m\u0259ktub \u0259sas\u0131nda m\u0259nim \u015f\u0259xsimd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn axma\u011f\u0131n, avaran\u0131n, day\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n hesab\u0131na ba\u015f girl\u0259y\u0259n \u0259ndir\u0259badi bir t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 obraz\u0131 toqqa\u015fd\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, yaratm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. O m\u0259ktubu da, day\u0131m\u0131 da, m\u0259ni da l\u0259n\u0259tl\u0259yirdi. Art\u0131q son q\u0259rar\u0131n\u0131 da vermi\u015fdi: \u0259\u015fi, ba\u015f qo\u015fma\u011fa d\u0259ym\u0259z, imtahanda itaparan bir \u00fc\u00e7 yazaram, c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m olar.
\n\u018fsl i\u015fg\u0259nc\u0259y\u0259 d\u00f6n\u0259n d\u0259rs ili, n\u0259hay\u0259t, ba\u015fa \u00e7atd\u0131. Lakin qar\u015f\u0131da m\u0259ni psixologiyadan \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llimin \u00e7\u0259tin imtahan\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi.
\nBu imtahana ba\u015fqa imtahanlardan daha \u00e7ox vaxt s\u0259rf etmi\u015f, daha ciddi haz\u0131rla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.
\n\u0130mtahan zaman\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kdiyim biletd\u0259ki suallar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n cavab\u0131n\u0131 bilirdim. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 haz\u0131rla\u015fmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdiyim stulda \u00e7ox dar\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131m. Bird\u0259n yax\u0131nl\u0131qda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmi\u015f qrup yolda\u015f\u0131m Yaqutun p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitdim. Biletind\u0259ki suallar\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rir, cavab\u0131n\u0131 yaz\u0131b g\u00f6nd\u0259rm\u0259yi xahi\u015f edirdi. Bu q\u0131z \u0259ks\u0259r hallarda m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rd\u0259n tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131qla qiym\u0259t al\u0131rd\u0131. Y\u0259qin indi d\u0259 tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259r halda, xalax\u0259trin qalmas\u0131n, bir \u015fey qaralamaq laz\u0131md\u0131. K\u00f6m\u0259yimi \u0259sirg\u0259m\u0259dim.
\nSual\u0131n cavab\u0131n\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131mdak\u0131 v\u0259r\u0259q\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259sik yaz\u0131b \u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259nd\u0259 bir g\u00f6z\u00fc may\u0131f \u0130bad m\u00fc\u0259llim, assistent g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Ancaq \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc vurmad\u0131. \u018fv\u0259zind\u0259 m\u0259nd\u0259n soru\u015fdu:
\n– Haz\u0131rsan?
\n– Haz\u0131ram, – dedim.
\n– G\u0259l g\u00f6r\u00fcm.
\n\u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f boyland\u0131m. Ba\u015f\u0131 qar\u0131\u015f\u0131qd\u0131, ba\u015fqa bir t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131mdan imtahan g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc.
\n\u0130bad m\u00fc\u0259llim sakit, m\u00fclayim adama ox\u015fasa da, xasiyy\u0259tin\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 b\u0259l\u0259d deyildim. \u0130mtahana g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259n seminar m\u00fc\u0259llimimizi \u0259v\u0259z etmi\u015fdi. Ba\u015fqa qrupda seminar apar\u0131rd\u0131.
\nBiletimd\u0259ki suallar\u0131 bir-bir dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. \u0130bad m\u00fc\u0259llim \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259 tutub dedi:
\n– Biletini dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Sual\u0131n\u0131z olacaq?
\n– Ke\u00e7 bu t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259, – \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim \u0259liyn\u0259n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131 t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 bo\u015falan stulu g\u00f6st\u0259rdi.
\nH\u0259m \u00e7ox \u0259s\u0259bi, g\u0259rgin, h\u0259m d\u0259 d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 h\u0259yacanl\u0131yd\u0131m. Gec-tez, onsuz da, \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015faca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn alt\u0131na alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Biletimi dan\u0131\u015fsam da, \u0130bad m\u00fc\u0259llimin m\u0259n\u0259 \u00f6zba\u015f\u0131na qiym\u0259t yazmayaca\u011f\u0131 \u00fcr\u0259yim\u0259 damm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.
\n\u018fyl\u0259\u015f\u0259n kimi \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim dola\u015f\u0131q bir sual verdi. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 o an m\u0259n\u0259 bel\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc.
\nN\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 bilmirdim. H\u0259l\u0259 qurtarmam\u0131\u015f \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim dedi:
\n– Qiym\u0259t kitab\u00e7an\u0131 ver bura. Bir \u201ckafi\u201d yazaram, b\u0259sindi.
\nEl\u0259 bildim indic\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yim dayanacaq. D\u00fcz fikirl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdim. \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim m\u0259nim haqq\u0131mda \u0259vv\u0259ld\u0259n q\u0259rar\u0131n\u0131 vermi\u015fdi.
\n\u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc birt\u0259h\u0259r c\u0259ml\u0259yib:
\n– M\u0259n \u201ckafi\u201d ist\u0259mir\u0259m, – dedim.
\n\u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim qar\u015f\u0131mdak\u0131 qiym\u0259t kitab\u00e7as\u0131na \u0259lini uzadanda ondan c\u0259ld t\u0259rp\u0259ndim. Kitab\u00e7an\u0131 qap\u0131b bay\u0131ra at\u0131lmaqdan yax\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolu tapmad\u0131m. Niy\u0259? \u00d6z\u00fcm d\u0259 bilm\u0259dim.
\n\u0130\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259 al\u0259m bir-birin\u0259 qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131. A\u00e7\u0131q qalan qap\u0131dan ordak\u0131 s\u0259s-k\u00fcy\u00fc e\u015fidirdim. Aradan bir az ke\u00e7mi\u015f qrup n\u00fcmay\u0259nd\u0259miz dal\u0131mca bay\u0131ra \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Qrup yolda\u015flar\u0131m m\u00fcdafi\u0259m\u0259 qalxm\u0131\u015f, m\u00fc\u0259llimi se\u00e7il\u0259n t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n oldu\u011fuma, n\u0259s\u0259 bir anla\u015f\u0131lmazl\u0131q ba\u015f verdiyin\u0259 inand\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, m\u0259n\u0259, he\u00e7 olmasa, bir \u201cyax\u015f\u0131\u201d yazma\u011fa raz\u0131 salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar.
\nEtiraz\u0131m\u0131 bildirdim. Minn\u0259tli qiym\u0259tin m\u0259n\u0259 laz\u0131m olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, komissiya il\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n imtahan ver\u0259c\u0259yimi dedim.
\nBu zaman bay\u0131rdak\u0131 ba\u015fqa t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015flar\u0131m da m\u0259n\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131lar. Sakitl\u0259\u015fm\u0259yi, t\u0259rslik el\u0259m\u0259m\u0259yi, raz\u0131la\u015fma\u011f\u0131 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rd\u00fcl\u0259r. \u018fbd\u00fcl m\u00fc\u0259llim say\u0131lan m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rd\u0259ndi. Komissiya onun t\u0259r\u0259fini saxlaya bil\u0259rdi.
\nXeyli \u00e7\u0259k-\u00e7evird\u0259n, fikirl\u0259\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n sonra yum\u015fald\u0131m, t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 e\u015fid\u0259si oldum. \u0130ki illik t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259liyim d\u00f6vr\u00fcnd\u0259 qiym\u0259t kitab\u00e7ama ilk \u201cyax\u015f\u0131\u201dn\u0131 yazd\u0131rd\u0131m.
\n… Bac\u0131m o\u011flunun m\u00fc\u0259llimin\u0259, ke\u00e7mi\u015f t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131ma m\u0259ktub yazmad\u0131m. Fikirl\u0259\u015fdim ki, nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n d\u00fcz vaxt\u0131nda tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015f bir psixologiya m\u00fc\u0259llimi (ba\u015fqa f\u0259nn m\u00fc\u0259llimi olsayd\u0131, d\u0259rd yar\u0131yd\u0131) alim dostunun m\u0259ktubuna o c\u00fcr m\u00fcnasib\u0259t g\u00f6st\u0259rmi\u015fdis\u0259, indi, r\u00fc\u015fv\u0259tin institutlar\u0131m\u0131zda t\u00fc\u011fyan el\u0259diyi bir zamanda bac\u0131m o\u011flunun \u0259d\u0259biyyat m\u00fc\u0259llimin\u0259 yazaca\u011f\u0131m m\u0259ktubun m\u00fctl\u0259q d\u00fc\u015f\u0259r-d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259zi olar. \u00c7ox da, bu \u0259d\u0259biyyat m\u00fc\u0259llimi ke\u00e7mi\u015f t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131md\u0131. G\u00f6r aradan n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r vaxt \u00f6tm\u00fc\u015f, sell\u0259r-sular axm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130ll\u0259r \u00e7ox \u015feyi d\u0259yi\u015fmi\u015fdi.
\nYax\u015f\u0131 ki, Bak\u0131ya qay\u0131dark\u0259n m\u0259niml\u0259 xudahafizl\u0259\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 t\u0259k g\u0259l\u0259n bac\u0131m o\u011flu m\u0259ktub haqq\u0131nda he\u00e7 n\u0259 soru\u015fmad\u0131. Yad\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb-d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259diyini bilm\u0259dim. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0259sd\u0259n \u00fcz\u0259 vurmad\u0131.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yad\u0131mdad\u0131, istitutda oxuyan zaman semestr imtahanlar\u0131n\u0131 verib Bak\u0131dan rayona, evimiz\u0259 qay\u0131dan kimi anam m\u0259ni yan\u0131na sal\u0131b qarda\u015f\u0131gil\u0259, day\u0131mla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 aparard\u0131. Bunu bir ad\u0259t, \u0259n\u0259n\u0259 hal\u0131na salm\u0131\u015f, m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u015f\u0259r\u0259f i\u015fin\u0259 \u00e7evirmi\u015fdi. \u0130ndi onun yolunu bac\u0131m davam etdirirdi. Q\u0131\u015f imtahanlar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 ba\u015fa vurub t\u0259til\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n o\u011flunu biz\u0259, m\u0259nim g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u0259 g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi. Bac\u0131m o\u011flu universitetin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc kursunda oxuyurdu. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16007","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16007","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16007"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16007\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16009,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16007\/revisions\/16009"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16007"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16007"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16007"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}