{"id":16030,"date":"2015-11-18T14:15:48","date_gmt":"2015-11-18T10:15:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=16030"},"modified":"2015-11-18T14:57:43","modified_gmt":"2015-11-18T10:57:43","slug":"nermin-akkan-bendeki-baraj-sendromu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=16030","title":{"rendered":"Nermin AKKAN.”BENDEK\u0130 BARAJ SENDROMU!”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"1415\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuk zamanlar\u0131m\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck vurgunuydu istiml\u00e2k edilen k\u00f6y\u00fcm, suyun azar azar yuttu\u011fu \u00e7ocuklu\u011fum.
\nToparlanan e\u015fyalar, “gitmem,beni burada b\u0131rak\u0131n” direncinde ya\u015f\u0131n dibine vurmu\u015flar ve her biri bir ba\u015fka \u015fehre s\u00fcr\u00fcklenen yavuklular, g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fclemeyecekleri i\u00e7in t\u00fcketilen koyunlar,inekler,tavuklar horozlar velhas\u0131l \u00f6l\u00fcm kal\u0131m aras\u0131nda canlar.
\nBilmiyorum bu heng\u00e2mede benim kadar can \u00e7eki\u015fen oldu mu,Pulur tepe \u00e7imenlerini benim \u00e7imenlerimin suyundan ba\u015fka suyla da ye\u015fertti mi, ya da kulecejye (T\u00fcrk\u00e7e ad\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyorum) ka\u00e7 \u00e7ocu\u011fun gelece\u011fe ilk \u0131slak mektuplar\u0131n\u0131n mezar\u0131 oldu.Ancak bildi\u011fim ve asla unutamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir \u015fey vard\u0131 ki h\u00e2l\u00e2 bende etkisi vard\u0131r ve ben ayn\u0131 merakla insanlar\u0131n g\u00f6z bebeklerine odaklan\u0131r\u0131m konu\u015furken. Besbelli ki o zamanlar\u0131n kan \u00e7ana\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6zlerinde ki ac\u0131y\u0131 g\u00f6rme tela\u015f\u0131 ve korkusu yer etmi\u015f zihnimin derinliklerinde.
\n\u0130lk ta\u015f\u0131nan bir ka\u00e7 hane, k\u00f6ydeki Onbe\u015fliler’den sonra en b\u00fcy\u00fck a\u011f\u0131t\u0131n nedeniydi.Kamyon toprak yolda ac\u0131y\u0131, belirsizli\u011fi,korkuyu ve umudu birlikte ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n bilincindeymi\u015f\u00e7esine toza dumana beliyordu k\u00f6y\u00fc ve kalanlar\u0131n g\u00f6zleri toprak kan\u0131yordu hep.
\nSonraki ta\u015f\u0131nmalar ka\u015farlanm\u0131\u015f yosmalar\u0131n al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndayd\u0131 ve hep birlikte yeni bir yurt, k\u00f6ykent olu\u015fturabilme projesinin ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6znesi olman\u0131n ars\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndayd\u0131 ironik bir \u015fekilde.
\nHen\u00fcz on ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131m ve zek\u00e2 katsay\u0131m oran\u0131nda deh\u015feti ya\u015f\u0131tlar\u0131mdan daha yo\u011fun hissediyordum. Ye\u015fil\u0131rmak, koynunda kula\u00e7 att\u0131\u011f\u0131m Ye\u015fil\u0131rmak,\u00e7ocuklu\u011fuma kula\u00e7 at\u0131yordu b\u00fcy\u00fck bir h\u0131zla.O ko\u015ftuk\u00e7a k\u00f6yde feryat figan, g\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcn alt\u0131ndan g\u00f6\u011fe daha s\u0131k y\u00fckseliyordu. …..
\nVarz\u0131l,S\u00fcdeni,Elpit, Leveke ne ya\u015f\u0131yordu bilmiyorum ama Kad\u0131k\u00f6pr\u00fc Nuh tufan\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131yordu. Nuh\u2019un o\u011flu gibi “su bizi yutamaz inanc\u0131nda ve “topra\u011f\u0131mdan ayr\u0131lmam” inad\u0131nda olanlar k\u00f6y\u00fcn s\u0131rtlar\u0131na evler yapmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015flard\u0131 bile. Pulur tepeye bayrak dire\u011fi \u00e7ekilmi\u015fti suyun yuttu\u011fu alanlar\u0131 biz unutmayal\u0131m diye. <\/p>\n

As\u0131rlarca ayn\u0131 avluya g\u00f6m\u00fclen g\u00f6bek kordonlar\u0131 Samsun,Almus,Turhal,Tokat, Ankara ve \u0130stanbul \u015fehir merkezlerine do\u011fru yol al\u0131rken baz\u0131lar\u0131 daAsarc\u0131k,Arzup\u0131nar\u0131’na y\u00f6n do\u011frultmu\u015ftu.
\nS\u0131ra daya\u011f\u0131n\u0131n reva\u00e7ta oldu\u011fu bir zihniyetin \u00e7ocuklu\u011funda olan ben okulumun her zerresini yutarken Ye\u015fil\u0131rmak “bak, bak, bak t\u0131rnak diplerimden \u00f6pece\u011fim seni hep ve asla unutmayarak” diyordum alfabenin sert sessizleriyle.
\nDe\u011firmeni al\u0131p g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde gece Saim Amca’n\u0131n day\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f\u00e7esine kay\u0131p duygusuyla bakt\u0131m sabaha. Dudaklar\u0131m\u0131n kilidindeki “aah”a kulak veren olmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 hi\u00e7, verilemezdi de zaten, herkes kendi Hiro\u015fima’s\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015farken.
\n\u0130ronik sevin\u00e7ler de ya\u015f\u0131yordum arada bir.Mesel\u00e2,mesela Nezsug\/Medine\u2019ler ta\u015f\u0131n\u0131rken sevinmi\u015ftim. Nezsug\u2019un abisi Hasan “seni alacam b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce”derdi ve ben b\u00fcy\u00fcmekten \u00e7ok korkard\u0131m. Oysa Ye\u015fil\u0131rmak d\u00fc\u015fmanl\u0131\u011fa soyunmu\u015ftu ve Hasangil gidiyorlard\u0131 i\u015fte. Herkesle bin a\u011f\u0131t vedala\u015f\u0131rken onlar, ben erik a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n tepesinde sac \u00f6rg\u00fclerimi yukar\u0131 do\u011fru \u00e7ekiyordum gecikmi\u015f b\u00fcy\u00fcmemi h\u0131zland\u0131rmak i\u00e7in.
\nAlmus Baraj\u0131 can olacakm\u0131\u015f Kazova’ya, bereket olacakm\u0131\u015f topra\u011fa bana neydi yaa! Ben \u00e7ocuk g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131mla sulam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m ya zaten b\u00fct\u00fcn ovay\u0131.
\nHer ne vakit bir baraj yap\u0131m\u0131 s\u00f6z konusu olsa \u00dclkemin bir yerinde, ne \u00e7ok a\u011f\u0131tlar y\u00fckselir y\u00fcre\u011fimin derinlerinde ve \u00e7imen g\u00f6zlerimin bebeklerinden k\u0131na ta\u015flar\u0131na ne \u00e7ok ya\u011fmurlar ya\u011far.
\nT\u00fck\u00fcr\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm ve ya\u015f\u0131yla \u00e7imen g\u00f6zlerimin ilk destan\u0131m\u0131n dizeleri dans eder belle\u011fimde. <\/p>\n

Ye\u015fil\u0131rmak yutma beni
\nAte\u015flerde tutma beni
\nPulur tepe senin olsun
\nGel k\u00f6y\u00fcmden atma beni <\/p>\n

Ye\u015fil\u0131rmak olmayayd\u0131n
\nHi\u00e7 k\u00f6y\u00fcme dolmayayd\u0131n
\nElpit Varz\u0131l senin olsun
\nBizim k\u00f6yde kalmayayd\u0131n <\/p>\n

Ye\u015fil\u0131rmak \u00e7a\u015f\u0131t ba\u015f\u0131,
\nAk\u0131tt\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcmden ya\u015f\u0131
\nYuttun Kad\u0131k\u00f6pr\u00fc\u2019y\u00fc de
\nZehir olsun sana a\u015f\u0131 <\/p>\n

Ye\u015fil\u0131rmak tersine ak
\nY\u0131ld\u0131r\u0131m ol g\u00f6kleri yak
\nBiz buradan g\u00f6\u00e7er olduk
\nSen k\u0131\u00e7\u0131na k\u0131nalar yak…<\/p>\n

On iki k\u0131tadan olu\u015fan ilk destan\u0131md\u0131 bu benim ve ayda bir Ba\u015fkentte yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z toplant\u0131larda okurum, \u00f6ncesinde mendiller da\u011f\u0131tarak ayn\u0131 ya\u015f \u00e7ocuk dostlar\u0131ma.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00c7ocuk zamanlar\u0131m\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck vurgunuydu istiml\u00e2k edilen k\u00f6y\u00fcm, suyun azar azar yuttu\u011fu \u00e7ocuklu\u011fum. Toparlanan e\u015fyalar, “gitmem,beni burada b\u0131rak\u0131n” direncinde ya\u015f\u0131n dibine vurmu\u015flar ve her biri bir ba\u015fka \u015fehre s\u00fcr\u00fcklenen yavuklular, g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fclemeyecekleri i\u00e7in t\u00fcketilen koyunlar,inekler,tavuklar horozlar velhas\u0131l \u00f6l\u00fcm kal\u0131m aras\u0131nda canlar. Bilmiyorum bu heng\u00e2mede benim kadar can \u00e7eki\u015fen oldu mu,Pulur tepe \u00e7imenlerini benim \u00e7imenlerimin suyundan ba\u015fka […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16030","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-turkiy-dbiyyati"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16030","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16030"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16030\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16036,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16030\/revisions\/16036"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16030"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16030"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16030"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}