{"id":30530,"date":"2019-05-04T03:00:46","date_gmt":"2019-05-03T23:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=30530"},"modified":"2019-05-04T08:50:27","modified_gmt":"2019-05-04T04:50:27","slug":"z%c9%99rif-kolg%c9%99l%c9%99r-layih%c9%99sinin-istirakcisi-gulnar%c9%99-sadiq","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=30530","title":{"rendered":"\u201cZ\u0259rif k\u00f6lg\u0259l\u0259r\u201d layih\u0259sinin i\u015ftirak\u00e7\u0131s\u0131: G\u00fclnar\u0259 SAD\u0130Q"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/kitab-edebiyyat-az.com_.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/kitab-edebiyyat-az.com_-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-30114\" srcset=\"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/kitab-edebiyyat-az.com_-300x200.jpg 300w, http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/kitab-edebiyyat-az.com_.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>G\u00dcLNAR\u018f\tSAD\u0130Q<br \/>\nTanr\u0131n\u0131n\t \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck u\u011furu onun yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131\t \u0130NSANd\u0131r. Insan<br \/>\n\u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck u\u011furu is\u0259\t yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 kitabd\u0131r, kitabdak\u0131 h\u0259yatlard\u0131r. H\u0259r<br \/>\nk\u0259s \u00f6z h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fay\u0131r, h\u0259r k\u0259s \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ya\u015fay\u0131r \u2013 amma yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f<br \/>\n\u0259s\u0259rl\u0259r bizi ya\u015fay\u0131rlar. G\u00fcld\u00fcr\u0259r\u0259k, a\u011fladaraq. Bu arada,<br \/>\na\u011flama\u011f\u0131n da \u00f6z g\u00f6z\u0259lliyi var \u2013 dem\u0259k, s\u0259n varsan ki, a\u011flama\u011f\u0131<br \/>\nda bacar\u0131rsan. Varl\u0131q el\u0259\tbiz \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fck. Yaradan\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn<br \/>\nsad\u0259c\u0259\t\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259\tbaxmal\u0131san. Biz, h\u0259r saniy\u0259\tba\u015flayanda do\u011fuluruq,<br \/>\nh\u0259r saniy\u0259\tbit\u0259nd\u0259\tis\u0259\t\u00f6l\u00fcr\u00fck.<br \/>\n116<br \/>\nA\u011e<br \/>\n(Qara d\u00fcnyan\u0131n A\u011f\tsakinl\u0259ri)<br \/>\nZ\u0259rif siml\u0259r \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 qurulub d\u00fcnya, h\u0259n s\u0131nacaq,<br \/>\nz\u0259rb\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 davams\u0131z, \u00fcmidsizc\u0259&#8230; Bu q\u0259d\u0259r z\u0259rif v\u0259 z\u0259if d\u00fcnyada<br \/>\ng\u00fccl\u00fc olmaq \u00e7ox \u00e7\u0259tindir. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 tam \u0259ksin\u0259, bu d\u00fcnyan\u0131<br \/>\nayaqda saxlayan bizim g\u00fcc\u00fcm\u00fczd\u00fcr&#8230;<br \/>\n\u018fn b\u00f6y\u00fck dayaq is\u0259 sahibl\u0259nm\u0259k, m\u0259nims\u0259m\u0259kdir. T\u0259k<br \/>\nolmaq, t\u0259k olaraq ya\u015famaq, ya\u015fam s\u0259ccad\u0259mizi qibl\u0259y\u0259<br \/>\nuzadaraq \u00f6l\u00fcm g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259rdir.<br \/>\nBu d\u00fcnya o q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00fcnahs\u0131z g\u00fcnahlarla y\u00fckl\u0259nibdir ki,<br \/>\nqorxuram ki, n\u0259 vaxtsa bir g\u00fcn, hardasa z\u0259rif siml\u0259r tab<br \/>\ng\u0259tirm\u0259y\u0259 v\u0259 s\u0131n\u0131b t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u0259. Bax bu zaman \u0259sl qiyam\u0259t qopacaq.<br \/>\nM\u0259hz h\u0259min g\u00fcn atalar balalardan qa\u00e7acaq, balalar atalardan<br \/>\n\u00fcz \u00e7evir\u0259c\u0259k. Analar b\u0259tnind\u0259ki \u201cy\u00fck\u201d\u00fcnd\u0259n qurtulacaq. M\u0259hz<br \/>\nd\u00fcnyan\u0131n z\u0259rif siml\u0259ri s\u0131n\u0131b da\u011f\u0131lan g\u00fcn&#8230;<br \/>\n***<br \/>\n-Sara xala, ay Sara xala, a\u00e7 qap\u0131n\u0131.<br \/>\nGec\u0259 saat \u00fc\u00e7 olard\u0131. Saran\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 az qala s\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131lacaqd\u0131. Sara yar\u0131 yuxulu t\u0259l\u0259sik qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131. Taxta darvazan\u0131n<br \/>\nc\u0259ft\u0259sini \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n kimi Emin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 sald\u0131. Tir \u2013 tir \u0259sirdi.<br \/>\n\u00dcst\u00fc ba\u015f\u0131 pal\u00e7\u0131q i\u00e7ind\u0259 idi.<br \/>\n-Ay bala, n\u0259 olub yen\u0259? Bu n\u0259 hald\u0131r?<br \/>\n-Sara xala, k\u00f6m\u0259k el\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259&#8230;<br \/>\nEmin s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc tamamlaya bilm\u0259di, g\u00fccs\u00fcz d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb el\u0259<br \/>\nh\u0259y\u0259tin ortas\u0131ndaca hu\u015funu itirdi.<br \/>\n-Ay Allah, ay Emin, Sara s\u0259n\u0259 qurban, nolar a\u00e7 g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc<br \/>\nm\u0259nim balam.<br \/>\nSara ah-nal\u0259 ed\u0259\u2013ed\u0259 Emini ev\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r bir t\u0259h\u0259r apard\u0131.<br \/>\nH\u0259y\u0259t el\u0259 d\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck deyildi, ev\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r c\u0259mi \u00fc\u00e7 ya d\u00f6rd metr<br \/>\nm\u0259saf\u0259 vard\u0131. Ki\u00e7ik kas\u0131b evind\u0259 Sara t\u0259l\u0259sik sobaya odun atd\u0131,<br \/>\nel\u0259 soban\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259c\u0259 \u00e7ay q\u0131zd\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00fcnortadan bi\u015firdiyi<br \/>\ndolmadan da isitdi. Emin yar\u0131 hu\u015fsuz titr\u0259yirdi. Acidi, g\u00fccs\u00fcz<br \/>\nidi. \u00dcst\u0259lik bir d\u0259 yaral\u0131 oldu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u0259n kimi Sara yaz\u0131q d\u0259liy\u0259<br \/>\nd\u00f6nd\u00fc. Tez k\u00f6yn\u0259yini \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131. \u00c7iynind\u0259, bir d\u0259 qarn\u0131nda b\u0131\u00e7aq<br \/>\nAntologiya<br \/>\n117<br \/>\nyaralar\u0131 vard\u0131, amma yaras\u0131 d\u0259rin deyildi. U\u015faql\u0131qdan qan<br \/>\nazl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u0259ziyy\u0259t \u00e7\u0259kirdi Emin ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 azac\u0131q qan itir\u0259n<br \/>\nkimi hals\u0131z d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u00dcst ba\u015f\u0131ndan da b\u0259lli idi ki, kiml\u0259s\u0259<br \/>\n\u0259m\u0259llic\u0259 dava edib. Bir az \u00e7ay-\u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k yedikd\u0259n sonra \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259<br \/>\ng\u0259ldi. Sara onun yaralar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259mizl\u0259di, \u0259ynin\u0259 d\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259 k\u00f6yn\u0259k<br \/>\ngeyindirdi. B\u00fct\u00fcn gec\u0259ni Eminin ba\u015f\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 ke\u015fik \u00e7\u0259kdi.<br \/>\n-Eh m\u0259nim b\u0259xtsizim, n\u0259 ets\u0259m d\u0259 s\u0259ni qoruya bilm\u0259dim,<br \/>\nbilmir\u0259m d\u0259. \u018fvv\u0259l ax\u0131r \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc m\u0259hv ed\u0259c\u0259n.<br \/>\nS\u0259h\u0259r Emin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259ldi, r\u0259ngi xeyli d\u00fcz\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Yaralar\u0131<br \/>\nda bir az yax\u015f\u0131 idi. Sara q\u0259\u015f\u0259ng s\u00fcfr\u0259 a\u00e7d\u0131, Eminin xo\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 n\u0259<br \/>\nvarsa d\u00fczd\u00fc s\u00fcfr\u0259y\u0259. Soyutma yumurtadan tutmu\u015f, ya\u011f, bal,<br \/>\npendir\u0259 kimi. Emin b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 h\u0259ft\u0259l\u0259rdi, ya da b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 el\u0259<br \/>\nsonuncu d\u0259f\u0259 el\u0259 Sara xalas\u0131n\u0131n s\u00fcfr\u0259sind\u0259 rahat yem\u0259k yey\u0259<br \/>\nbilmi\u015fdi. N\u0259fsind\u0259n \u00e7ox v\u00fccudu doyana q\u0259d\u0259r yedi. R\u0259ngi bir az<br \/>\nda d\u00fcz\u0259ldi.<br \/>\n-Ay bala, yen\u0259 kiml\u0259 dala\u015fm\u0131san? Allah qorusun bu<br \/>\nyaralar d\u0259rin olsayd\u0131 n\u0259 olard\u0131? He\u00e7mi can\u0131na yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131n g\u0259lmir?<br \/>\n-El\u0259 bel\u0259 \u015feydi, s\u0259n narahat olma.<br \/>\n-Nec\u0259 narahat olmay\u0131m? Bu ne\u00e7\u0259nci d\u0259f\u0259dir bu halda<br \/>\ng\u0259lirs\u0259n \u00fcst\u00fcm\u0259?<br \/>\n-S\u0259nd\u0259n ba\u015fqa qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6y\u0259c\u0259k kims\u0259m yoxdu. Onlar<br \/>\nm\u0259ni buraxanda t\u0259kc\u0259 s\u0259n m\u0259nim \u0259limd\u0259n tutdun.<br \/>\n-Bala, ke\u00e7mi\u015fl\u0259 ya\u015fama qurban s\u0259n\u0259, oldu bitdi, g\u00fcl kimi<br \/>\no\u011flansan g\u0259l s\u0259ni evl\u0259ndi\u0259k. \u00d6z oca\u011f\u0131n olsun.<br \/>\n-Sara xala, bu m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil bilirs\u0259n.<br \/>\n -D\u00fcnyada m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmayan he\u00e7 n\u0259 yoxdu. Yax\u015f\u0131 bir<br \/>\nh\u0259kim d\u0259 tapm\u0131\u015fam, nolar m\u0259n dey\u0259n\u0259 qulaq ver.<br \/>\n-\u0130st\u0259mir\u0259m&#8230;<br \/>\n-Emin&#8230;<br \/>\n-Sara xala, bir d\u0259 bu s\u00f6hb\u0259ti a\u00e7san g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m bu ev\u0259.<br \/>\nEmin qalx\u0131b getm\u0259k ist\u0259di, lakin, aya\u011fa qalxan kimi ba\u015f\u0131<br \/>\nh\u0259rl\u0259ndi, z\u0259if b\u0259d\u0259ni onu saxlamad\u0131, y\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131&#8230;<br \/>\n-Ay bala, ay o\u011ful, hara gedirs\u0259n? Az qala y\u0131x\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131n.<br \/>\nAllah qorusun, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 falan harasa vurarsan, evim y\u0131x\u0131lar&#8230;<br \/>\nOnlar\u0131n y\u0259ni Saran\u0131n Eminl\u0259 tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 iyirmi alt\u0131 il \u0259vv\u0259l\u0259<br \/>\ngedib \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r. O vaxtlar Sara g\u0259nc idi, yeni i\u015f\u0259 d\u00fcz\u0259lmi\u015fdi.<br \/>\n118<br \/>\nK\u00f6rp\u0259l\u0259r evind\u0259 bax\u0131c\u0131 i\u015fl\u0259yirdi. K\u00f6rp\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259k ona sad\u0259c\u0259<br \/>\nz\u00f6vq verirdi. Saran\u0131n da arzular\u0131 var idi. \u018fn b\u00f6y\u00fck arzusu is\u0259<br \/>\nd\u00fcnyalar q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7ox sevdiyi \u0259rin\u0259 bir k\u00f6rp\u0259 b\u0259x\u015f etm\u0259k idi&#8230;<br \/>\nBir g\u00fcn t\u0259xmin\u0259n onun ya\u015flar\u0131nda bir qad\u0131n quca\u011f\u0131nda yeni<br \/>\ndo\u011fulmu\u015f bir k\u00f6rp\u0259 il\u0259 onun i\u015fl\u0259diyi m\u00fc\u0259ssis\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259ldi. M\u00fcdirl\u0259<br \/>\ng\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, imtina s\u0259n\u0259dini imzalay\u0131b u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 el\u0259 ordaca burax\u0131b<br \/>\ngetdi. U\u015faq tamam kims\u0259siz idi. \u00c7ox z\u0259if, bapbalaca bir u\u015faq idi.<br \/>\nAdam quca\u011f\u0131na alma\u011fa bel\u0259 qorxard\u0131 ki, haras\u0131sa bu saat<br \/>\ns\u0131nacaq. M\u00fcdir Saran\u0131 yan\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131:<br \/>\n-Sara, yen\u0259 eyni tarix\u00e7\u0259. Bunun anas\u0131 \u00f6z n\u0259fsin\u0259 qurban<br \/>\nverir u\u015fa\u011f\u0131.<br \/>\n-Tamam imtina etdi?<br \/>\n-B\u0259li, qeyri-qanuni do\u011fulmu\u015f u\u015faqd\u0131. Anas\u0131 ba\u015fqas\u0131na<br \/>\nni\u015fanl\u0131, atas\u0131 ba\u015fqas\u0131 il\u0259 evli. Onlar\u0131n ail\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n h\u0259r k\u0259s bu<br \/>\nu\u015fa\u011f\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan x\u0259b\u0259rsizdir. H\u0259m d\u0259, \u00fcst\u0259lik g\u00f6r nec\u0259 z\u0259ifdi.<br \/>\nAllah bilir, bu sa\u011flam b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259kmi? G\u00f6r nec\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tin n\u0259f\u0259s<br \/>\nal\u0131r?<br \/>\n-H\u0259kim\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r vermisiz?<br \/>\n-H\u0259, bir azdan g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k. Anas\u0131 t\u0259dbirli davran\u0131b, u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n<br \/>\nsa\u011flaml\u0131q ka\u011f\u0131z\u0131 bel\u0259 var. Ciddi bir x\u0259st\u0259liyi yoxdu, lakin \u00e7\u0259kisi<br \/>\nv\u0259 boyu normadan \u00e7ox azd\u0131. Dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 hamil\u0259liyi boyu<br \/>\nd\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 onu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259rmanlar q\u0259bul edib, a\u011f\u0131r y\u00fck<br \/>\nqald\u0131r\u0131b. Bu da \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 dayan\u0131b, ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131 bacar\u0131b.<br \/>\n-Amma, nec\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259sum simas\u0131 var. Ax\u0131 bu k\u00f6rp\u0259nin n\u0259<br \/>\ng\u00fcnah\u0131 var?<br \/>\n-\u0130ndi bu g\u00fcnahs\u0131zd\u0131. Amma, b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259nd\u0259 nec\u0259 olacaq b\u0259lli<br \/>\ndeyil. Onun varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ana \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 ata \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 bir utancd\u0131. Bir<br \/>\n\u015f\u0259hv\u0259tin utanc\u0131.<br \/>\n-M\u0259n onun qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131na qalaram. B\u0259s ad\u0131 n\u0259dir?<br \/>\n-Anas\u0131 ad qoyma z\u0259hm\u0259tini bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259yib.<br \/>\n-D\u0259h\u015f\u0259t.<br \/>\n-Ad\u0131n\u0131 s\u0259n qoy.<br \/>\nM\u00fcdir Saran\u0131n h\u0259ssas yerini bilirdi\u2013bala h\u0259sr\u0259ti. O, alt\u0131 il<br \/>\nidi ki, evli idi&#8230;<br \/>\n-Emin&#8230; Emin olsun o zaman.<br \/>\n-Olsun Sara, olsun.<br \/>\nAntologiya<br \/>\n119<br \/>\nO g\u00fcn, bu g\u00fcn Sara Emin\u0259, Emins\u0259 Saraya ba\u011fland\u0131.<br \/>\nEvl\u0259ndikd\u0259n bu yana ilk d\u0259f\u0259 idi ki, \u0259rinin h\u0259rbi\u00e7i oldu\u011funa<br \/>\nsevinirdi. \u00c7\u00fcnki, h\u0259min g\u00fcnl\u0259r o, Eminl\u0259 qal\u0131rd\u0131. B\u0259z\u0259n icaz\u0259<br \/>\nal\u0131b Emini evin\u0259 bel\u0259 g\u0259tirirdi. Zaman Saran\u0131 Emin\u0259 daha \u00e7ox<br \/>\nba\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131.<br \/>\nH\u0259tta Sara Emini \u00f6vladl\u0131q bel\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259k ist\u0259di. Lakin<br \/>\nqaynanas\u0131 buna mane oldu.<br \/>\n-Kimd\u0259n \u0259m\u0259l\u0259 g\u0259lib x\u0259b\u0259rimiz yoxdu. Bel\u0259sini balama<br \/>\narxa ed\u0259 bilm\u0259r\u0259m. Ya \u00f6z\u00fcn u\u015faq do\u011f, ya da bo\u015fan \u00e7\u0131x o\u011flumun<br \/>\nh\u0259yat\u0131ndan.<br \/>\nQaynanas\u0131n\u0131n \u015f\u0259rtin\u0259 \u0259m\u0259l ed\u0259n Sara q\u0131sa m\u00fcdd\u0259t sonra<br \/>\n\u0259rind\u0259n bo\u015fand\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fc i\u015fin\u0259, u\u015faq evind\u0259ki<br \/>\n\u201cbalalar\u0131na\u201d, bir d\u0259 Emin\u0259 h\u0259sr el\u0259di. Sonralar da n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r<br \/>\n\u00e7al\u0131\u015fsa da Emini \u00f6vladl\u0131\u011fa g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259 bilm\u0259di.<br \/>\nU\u015faq evinin daimi sakini Emin, m\u0259kt\u0259b ya\u015f\u0131na \u00e7atd\u0131.<br \/>\nD\u0259rsl\u0259rin\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck h\u0259v\u0259sl\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. Qeyri adi savad\u0131, qabiliyy\u0259ti<br \/>\nil\u0259 Emin az bir zamanda b\u00fct\u00fcn m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 s\u0259s sald\u0131. \u00dcst\u0259lik<br \/>\nm\u00fck\u0259mm\u0259l natiqlik qabiliyy\u0259ti oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dem\u0259k olar ki, h\u0259m<br \/>\nm\u0259kt\u0259bin, h\u0259m d\u0259 U\u015faq evinin b\u00fct\u00fcn t\u0259dbirl\u0259rinin apar\u0131c\u0131s\u0131<br \/>\noldu. Sara ona \u00e7oxlu kitablar al\u0131r, onun t\u0259hsilin\u0259 x\u00fcsusi diqq\u0259t<br \/>\nyetirirdi. Amma, Emin d\u0259 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u00fcz\u0259 vurmasa da q\u0259lbinin<br \/>\nd\u0259rinliyind\u0259 n\u0259d\u0259n burda ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 sual\u0131na cavab axtaranlardan<br \/>\nidi. Cavabs\u0131z suallar onun ruhunu q\u0259f\u0259sl\u0259yirdi. Arada u\u015faqlar\u0131n<br \/>\nt\u0259n\u0259li s\u00f6zl\u0259ri onu d\u0259liy\u0259 d\u00f6nd\u0259rirdi.<br \/>\nS\u0259kkizinci sinifd\u0259 oxuyanda sinif yolda\u015f\u0131 olan L\u0259man adl\u0131<br \/>\nbir q\u0131za sevgi m\u0259ktubu yazm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Cavab\u0131nda is\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131n anas\u0131<br \/>\nm\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015f, el\u0259 t\u0259n\u0259ff\u00fcs zaman\u0131 korridordaca ona yax\u015f\u0131ca<br \/>\nbir sill\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kmi\u015fdi:<br \/>\n-Bilm\u0259mi\u015fdim, q\u0131z\u0131m ortal\u0131qda qal\u0131b. Haran\u0131n yetim\u00e7\u0259si<br \/>\ng\u0259lib q\u0131z\u0131ma e\u015fq elan edir. Ay yaz\u0131q, s\u0259n kims\u0259n ax\u0131, h\u0259\u0259,<br \/>\nkims\u0259n? Allah bilir hans\u0131 ki\u015finin evini y\u0131x\u0131b anan. S\u0259ni do\u011fub<br \/>\nondan ki, sonra da g\u0259tirib tullay\u0131b.<br \/>\nEmin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bu s\u00f6zl\u0259r onun vurdu\u011fu sill\u0259d\u0259n daha \u00e7ox<br \/>\na\u011fr\u0131d\u0131c\u0131 oldu. M\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259l\u0259r g\u0259lib qad\u0131n\u0131 sakitl\u0259\u015fdirs\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259 art\u0131q<br \/>\nEmin\u0259 d\u0259y\u0259n d\u0259ymi\u015fdi. H\u0259min g\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra Emin ba\u015fqa bir<br \/>\nEmin oldu. H\u0259min g\u00fcn ilk d\u0259f\u0259 Emin U\u015faq evind\u0259n qa\u00e7d\u0131&#8230;<br \/>\n120<br \/>\nIki ay b\u00fct\u00fcn \u015f\u0259h\u0259r polisi Emini axtard\u0131. El\u0259 Sara da&#8230; O, bu<br \/>\niki ay\u0131 ar\u0131qlay\u0131b \u00e7\u00f6p\u0259 d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Eminsiz ke\u00e7\u0259n h\u0259r g\u00fcn onun<br \/>\n\u00fcmidini bir az da \u00fcz\u00fcrd\u00fc. Iki ay sonra Emind\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259r \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. S\u0259n<br \/>\ndem\u0259 Emin bu iki ay\u0131 kor-koran\u0259 k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259b\u0259k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb anas\u0131n\u0131<br \/>\naxtar\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. \u015e\u0259h\u0259rk\u0259nar\u0131 k\u0259ndl\u0259r\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r gedib \u00e7\u0131x\u0131bm\u0131\u015f. Iki ay<br \/>\nsonra Emini U\u015faq evin\u0259 geri g\u0259tirdil\u0259r.<br \/>\nD\u0259rsl\u0259ri ciddi \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 z\u0259ifl\u0259di. Art\u0131q kitablara yax\u0131n<br \/>\ndurmurdu. B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc i\u015f\u00e7il\u0259rin ham\u0131s\u0131 Emini g\u00fcdm\u0259kl\u0259<br \/>\nm\u0259\u015f\u011ful idil\u0259r. \u00c7\u00fcnki o, ilk f\u00fcrs\u0259td\u0259 yen\u0259 qa\u00e7acaqd\u0131 v\u0259 qa\u00e7d\u0131 da.<br \/>\nBu d\u0259f\u0259 bir h\u0259ft\u0259 sonra tap\u0131ld\u0131. K\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259, parkda gec\u0259l\u0259yirmi\u015f.<br \/>\nBir ild\u0259 Emin d\u00fcz alt\u0131 d\u0259f\u0259 qa\u00e7ma\u011f\u0131 bacard\u0131.<br \/>\nV\u0259 Emin ilk \u201ccinay\u0259ti\u201dni t\u00f6r\u0259tdi. 15 ya\u015fl\u0131 Emin o\u011furluq<br \/>\netdi. Iki g\u00fcn k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 ac qald\u0131qdan sonra \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k sexind\u0259n<br \/>\nyar\u0131m \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k o\u011furlad\u0131. Ac v\u0259 yuxusuz oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn qa\u00e7a bilm\u0259di<br \/>\nv\u0259 h\u0259bs olundu. Bir \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yin c\u0259zas\u0131 il yar\u0131m oldu. M\u0259hk\u0259m\u0259 ona<br \/>\nil yar\u0131ml\u0131q h\u0259bs c\u0259zas\u0131 k\u0259sdi.<br \/>\nSara bu g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 d\u0259 Emini t\u0259k buraxmad\u0131. H\u0259r h\u0259ft\u0259<br \/>\nyan\u0131na g\u0259ldi. H\u0259tta Emin ona s\u00f6z vermi\u015fdi ki, h\u0259bsd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xan<br \/>\nkimi art\u0131q onunla ya\u015fayacaq. Ana bala olacaqlar. Amma,<br \/>\nh\u0259bsxana h\u0259yat\u0131 Emin\u0259 \u00f6z s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc dedi. H\u0259bsd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xanda art\u0131q<br \/>\nnakotikin dad\u0131na baxm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn qaba\u011f\u0131nda ba\u015f ver\u0259nl\u0259r,<br \/>\nd\u00f6y\u00fcl\u00fcb s\u00f6y\u00fcl\u0259n ki\u015fil\u0259r, qumarbazlar, qatill\u0259rl\u0259 bir yerd\u0259<br \/>\nh\u0259bsd\u0259 ya\u015famaq Emini \u201cqara d\u00fcnyaya\u201d yuvarlad\u0131.<br \/>\nAyd\u0131nl\u0131qdan z\u00fclm\u0259t\u0259 yuvarlanan Emin qara d\u00fcnyan\u0131n a\u011f<br \/>\nsakini oldu. \u018fvv\u0259l k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259 o\u011frusu kimi ba\u015flad\u0131, daha sonra is\u0259 iri<br \/>\nmiqyasl\u0131 o\u011furluqlar dal\u0131nca d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Daha sonra is\u0259 narkotik<br \/>\nalver\u00e7isi oldu.<br \/>\nBu zaman \u0259rzind\u0259 Sara art\u0131q ya\u015fla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. U\u015faqlara baxa<br \/>\nbilmirdi. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 i\u015fd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Eminin n\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259r g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc<br \/>\ntam bilm\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259 qaranl\u0131q i\u015fl\u0259r oldu\u011funu hiss edirdi. Onu n\u0259<br \/>\nq\u0259d\u0259r yay\u0131nd\u0131rma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsa da, nafil\u0259&#8230;<br \/>\nH\u0259l\u0259 m\u0259kt\u0259b ill\u0259rind\u0259 Emin h\u0259r zaman at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f u\u015faq<br \/>\noldu\u011funu gizl\u0259dirdi. Oxudu\u011fu kitablar ona \u0259sl ata-ana nec\u0259<br \/>\nolmal\u0131d\u0131 onu \u00f6yr\u0259nmi\u015fdi. Saf u\u015faql\u0131q ill\u0259rind\u0259 h\u0259r il Yeni il<br \/>\nbayram\u0131nda \u015eaxta babaya ki\u00e7ik bir m\u0259ktub yaz\u0131rd\u0131: \u201c\u015eaxta baba,<br \/>\nm\u0259n\u0259 ana h\u0259diyy\u0259si g\u0259tir.\u201d<br \/>\nAntologiya<br \/>\n121<br \/>\nNovruz bayram\u0131nda da el\u0259 hey qap\u0131 pusard\u0131. Vay o k\u0259sin<br \/>\nhal\u0131na ki, kims\u0259 n\u0259s b\u0259d bir s\u00f6z dan\u0131\u015fa, Emin d\u0259rhal onunla<br \/>\ndavaya ba\u015flayard\u0131&#8230;<br \/>\n-Sara xala, anam m\u0259ni niy\u0259 at\u0131b?<br \/>\nBu sual\u0131 Saraya ver\u0259nd\u0259 o, 5-ci sinifd\u0259 oxuyurdu.<br \/>\n\u201cS\u0259fill\u0259r\u201d\u0259s\u0259rinin Sara ona h\u0259diyy\u0259 etmi\u015fdi. Ixtisarla u\u015faqlar\u0131n<br \/>\nba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259yi bir dild\u0259 ki\u00e7ik hekay\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 b\u00f6l\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f \u0259s\u0259rd\u0259ki<br \/>\nKozettan\u0131n ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131 bir ne\u00e7\u0259 ay Emini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.<br \/>\nB\u0259lk\u0259 onun da anas\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcb? Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 he\u00e7 kim ona he\u00e7 bir<br \/>\na\u00e7\u0131qlama vermir&#8230; Amma, he\u00e7 n\u0259y\u0259 baxmayaraq Emin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn<br \/>\nya\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir ke\u00e7mi\u015find\u0259n utan\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259qiq\u0259ti bil\u0259nl\u0259r is\u0259<br \/>\nEmind\u0259n uzaq durma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar. M\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 \u00e7ox u\u015faqlar<br \/>\nondan uzaq g\u0259z\u0259rdi, b\u0259zil\u0259rinin valideyinl\u0259ri \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tc\u0259<br \/>\nonunla dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa bel\u0259 icaz\u0259 verm\u0259zdi.<br \/>\nH\u0259tta h\u0259bsd\u0259 bel\u0259 kims\u0259 Eminin at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f u\u015faq oldu\u011funu<br \/>\nbil\u0259n kimi anas\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259hqir edirdi. \u201cYaln\u0131z \u0259xlaqs\u0131z bir qad\u0131n<br \/>\nbalas\u0131n\u0131 atar\u201d deyirdil\u0259r. N\u0259tic\u0259d\u0259, Emin bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc<br \/>\ni\u015fg\u0259nc\u0259 kameralar\u0131nda ke\u00e7irm\u0259li olurdu.<br \/>\nIkinci h\u0259bsd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xan kimi ilk anas\u0131n\u0131n axtarmaq oldu.<br \/>\nArt\u0131q pensiyada olan ke\u00e7mi\u015f m\u00fcdir\u0259ni tapd\u0131. Qoca qad\u0131n son<br \/>\nd\u0259f\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 n\u0259s\u0259 etm\u0259k ist\u0259di. O, anas\u0131n\u0131n kimliyini Emin\u0259 dedi&#8230;<br \/>\n****<br \/>\nM\u00fcdir\u0259 il\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u0259n iki saat sonra Emin art\u0131q avtobusda<br \/>\nidi. Anas\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 gedirdi. Beynind\u0259 min c\u00fcr g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f s\u0259hn\u0259si<br \/>\nuydururdu. B\u0259z\u0259n q\u0259z\u0259bl\u0259nir, ona \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259ki b\u00fct\u00fcn nifr\u0259tini<br \/>\np\u00fcsg\u00fcr\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 and i\u00e7irdi. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259qiq\u0259 sonra is\u0259 qeyriixtiyari anas\u0131n\u0131n onu nec\u0259 qucaqlayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ondan b\u00fct\u00fcn bu<br \/>\nill\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00fczr ist\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. Bunlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259rk\u0259n<br \/>\nEminin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 z\u0259if bir t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcr, amma, bu t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm tez<br \/>\nd\u0259 yol olurdu&#8230;<br \/>\n-Sizin ad\u0131n\u0131z \u0130rad\u0259dir?<br \/>\nO, art\u0131q ana babas\u0131n\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131nda idi. Qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7an is\u0259 onun<br \/>\nxalas\u0131 \u0130lham\u0259 oldu.<br \/>\n-Yox siz kimsiz?<br \/>\n-M\u0259n Emin, \u0130rad\u0259nin o\u011fluyam.<br \/>\nBu e\u015fid\u0259n kimi evd\u0259n kims\u0259 Eminin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 \u015fu\u011fudu.<br \/>\n122<br \/>\n-R\u0259dd ol burdan, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck! Bizim el\u0259 bir n\u0259v\u0259miz yoxdu.<br \/>\n-M\u0259n\u0259 \u0130rad\u0259nin yerini deyin. \u018fn az\u0131 bu iyirmi ilin<br \/>\nhesab\u0131n\u0131 verm\u0259lidir m\u0259n\u0259.<br \/>\n-S\u0259n\u0259 dedim ax\u0131 ki, bizim s\u0259n adl\u0131 n\u0259v\u0259miz yoxdu.<br \/>\nEmin \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131r-ba\u011f\u0131r salan ki\u015finin onun babas\u0131 oldu\u011funu ba\u015fa<br \/>\nd\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Ki\u015fi ba\u015flad\u0131 Emin\u0259 s\u00f6ym\u0259y\u0259, t\u0259hqir etm\u0259y\u0259. Emin bir<br \/>\nm\u00fcdd\u0259t sussa da sonunda \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc cilovlaya bilm\u0259di. Ki\u015finin<br \/>\nyaxas\u0131ndan yap\u0131\u015f\u0131b onu h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 sald\u0131. \u0130lham\u0259 d\u0259 onlar\u0131n ard\u0131nca<br \/>\ni\u00e7\u0259ri girdi. Emin ev\u0259 gir\u0259n kimi cibind\u0259ki tapancan\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b<br \/>\nstolun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoydu. Qara d\u00fcnyan\u0131n g\u0259nc sakini art\u0131q s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc<br \/>\nbu c\u00fcr dem\u0259k q\u0259rar\u0131na g\u0259ldi. Evd\u0259kil\u0259ri m\u0259cbur etdi ki, anas\u0131na<br \/>\nz\u0259ng edib onu ev\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rs\u0131nlar.<br \/>\nYar\u0131m saat \u00e7\u0259km\u0259mi\u015fdi ki, \u0130rad\u0259 art\u0131q atas\u0131 evind\u0259 idi.<br \/>\nEmin anas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259n kimi q\u0259lbinin d\u0259rinliyind\u0259ki ana n\u0259f\u0259sin\u0259<br \/>\nh\u0259sr\u0259t u\u015faql\u0131q safl\u0131\u011f\u0131 onun ruhunu b\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc. Iki d\u0259f\u0259 anas\u0131na<br \/>\nyax\u0131nla\u015fmaq ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 anas\u0131&#8230; Irad\u0259 o\u011fluna n\u0259inki sar\u0131lmaq,<br \/>\nhe\u00e7 \u0259lini bel\u0259 tutmad\u0131. Bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndan soyuqluq ya\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Emin<br \/>\n\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bu \u00f6l\u00fcm dem\u0259k idi.<br \/>\n-S\u0259n kims\u0259n m\u0259n bilmir\u0259m, m\u0259nim ail\u0259m d\u0259 var o\u011flum<br \/>\nda var, s\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 laz\u0131m deyils\u0259n.<br \/>\n-M\u0259n ill\u0259rdir ki, s\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m.<br \/>\n-M\u0259ns\u0259 ill\u0259r \u00f6nc\u0259 s\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn apar\u0131b vermi\u015f\u0259m<br \/>\no da\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015fa.<br \/>\n-S\u0259n niy\u0259 bel\u0259 q\u0259ddarsan?<br \/>\n-S\u0259nin varl\u011f\u0131n bel\u0259 utancd\u0131r m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, indi is\u0259 r\u0259dd ol<br \/>\nget burdan, buralar\u0131, bu evi, bu k\u0259ndi unut. R\u0259dd ol, dedim<br \/>\ns\u0259n\u0259!<br \/>\nEmin evd\u0259n nec\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, n\u0259 vaxt avtobusa minib nec\u0259<br \/>\ngeri d\u00f6nd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc xat\u0131rlam\u0131r. Gec\u0259 saat \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc ke\u00e7irdi, lakin Emin<br \/>\nh\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 ruh kimi qaranl\u0131q k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rin aras\u0131nda g\u0259zirdi.<br \/>\n-S\u0259n kims\u0259n? Buralarda n\u0259 i\u015fin var?<br \/>\nKims\u0259 arxadan onu s\u0259sl\u0259di. Be\u015f-alt\u0131 n\u0259f\u0259r olard\u0131lar. H\u0259r<br \/>\n\u015fey ayd\u0131n idi \u2013 Emin, gec\u0259 ke\u00e7ilm\u0259si laz\u0131m olmayan k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259n<br \/>\nke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. K\u0259ndd\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 beyni tutqun k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259<br \/>\ns\u0259rs\u0259ml\u0259yirdi.<br \/>\n-\u018f, s\u0259nn\u0259n\u0259m eee, de g\u00f6r\u00fcm burda n\u0259 i\u015fin var?<br \/>\nAntologiya<br \/>\n123<br \/>\nEmin susur, g\u00f6zl\u0259ri par\u0131lday\u0131rd\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn hissiyyat\u0131 iflas<br \/>\netmi\u015f v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 idi. Qa\u00e7maq, uzaqla\u015fmaq \u0259v\u0259zin\u0259 ayaq<br \/>\nsaxlad\u0131, geri \u00e7evrilib ona s\u0259sl\u0259n\u0259nl\u0259r\u0259 baxd\u0131. Ac\u0131\u2013ac\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di.<br \/>\nOnun bu h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259ti kifay\u0259t etdi ki, h\u0259min o\u011flanlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131<br \/>\nbird\u0259n cumdu Eminin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259. T\u0259pik, yumruqlar\u0131n say\u0131n\u0131 itirdi.<br \/>\nEmin m\u00fcqavim\u0259t g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k bir yana, he\u00e7 s\u0259sini bel\u0259<br \/>\n\u00e7\u0131xarm\u0131rd\u0131. Sanki onlar\u0131n t\u0259pikl\u0259rinin vasit\u0259si il\u0259 can\u0131ndak\u0131<br \/>\n\u0259zablar\u0131 dindirm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. Qarn\u0131nda, k\u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259 d\u0259y\u0259n t\u0259pikl\u0259r<br \/>\nona l\u0259zz\u0259t edirdi des\u0259k azd\u0131r b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259. Sonra sif\u0259tind\u0259 n\u0259yins\u0259<br \/>\npartlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss etdi. Dey\u0259s\u0259n ya t\u0259pik, ya da n\u0259s\u0259 k\u00fct al\u0259tl\u0259<br \/>\nvurdular \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259n. Burnu q\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn alt\u0131n\u0131n d\u0259risi c\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131.<br \/>\nSif\u0259tini qan apard\u0131. Bir ara nec\u0259 oldusa qula\u011f\u0131na bir s\u0259s g\u0259ldi:<br \/>\n-\u201cFahi\u015f\u0259nin balas\u0131, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck.\u201d<br \/>\nBu s\u00f6zl\u0259r Emin\u0259 b\u0259s idi ki, d\u0259liy\u0259 d\u00f6ns\u00fcn v\u0259&#8230; Bu d\u0259f\u0259<br \/>\nm\u0259hk\u0259m\u0259 Emin\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 illik h\u0259bs c\u0259zas\u0131 k\u0259sdi \u2013 Q\u0259sd\u0259n z\u0259r\u0259r<br \/>\nverm\u0259 madd\u0259si il\u0259. Gec\u0259 davas\u0131nda a\u011f\u0131r yaralanan g\u0259nc ondan<br \/>\n\u015fikay\u0259t\u00e7i olmu\u015fdu. Bel\u0259likl\u0259 Eminin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc h\u0259bs h\u0259yat\u0131<br \/>\nba\u015flad\u0131.<br \/>\n****<br \/>\n-O\u011ful, Sara s\u0259n\u0259 qurban, bu q\u0259d\u0259r ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131n b\u0259sdir.<br \/>\n\u00d6z\u00fcn\u0259 bel\u0259 z\u00fclm el\u0259m\u0259. He\u00e7mi s\u0259nin g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 d\u0259y\u0259rim yoxdu?<br \/>\nBir az \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n Emin k\u00f6rp\u0259 safl\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 Saraya sar\u0131ld\u0131,<br \/>\nh\u0131\u00e7q\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 gizl\u0259ts\u0259 d\u0259 o, a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131.<br \/>\n-Sara xala, birc\u0259 s\u0259n m\u0259ni buraxmad\u0131n bu ill\u0259r uzunu. N\u0259<br \/>\netdims\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flad\u0131n. S\u0259nin haqq\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6d\u0259m\u0259k m\u00fcmk\u00fcns\u00fczd\u00fcr.<br \/>\nSara Eminin yum\u015falmas\u0131ndan istifad\u0259 edib s\u00f6hb\u0259ti uzatmaq<br \/>\nist\u0259di.<br \/>\n-S\u0259n\u0259 bir toy ed\u0259c\u0259m ki, g\u0259l g\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n.<br \/>\n-Sara xala, s\u0259nc\u0259 m\u0259n d\u00fcz\u0259l\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259mmi, \u00e7\u0131xa bil\u0259r\u0259mmi<br \/>\nbu bataql\u0131qdan?<br \/>\n-\u00c7\u0131xacaqsan m\u0259nim balam. Biz, ana-bala \u0259l-\u0259l\u0259 verib \u00e7\u0131xaca\u011f\u0131q.<br \/>\nEmin bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn qald\u0131 Sara gild\u0259. Yaralar\u0131 dem\u0259k olar<br \/>\nki, sa\u011falm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Isti yem\u0259k yey\u0259nd\u0259n, rahat yor\u011fan-d\u00f6\u015f\u0259kd\u0259<br \/>\nyatandan r\u0259ngi d\u0259 d\u00fcz\u0259lmi\u015fdi, \u00fcz\u00fc d\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc. Emin d\u0259 sakitik<br \/>\n124<br \/>\nist\u0259yirdi. Onu atan anan\u0131n, atan\u0131n ac\u0131\u011f\u0131na yax\u015f\u0131 ki\u015fi olmal\u0131 idi.<br \/>\nM\u00fck\u0259mm\u0259l ata olmal\u0131 idi. Lakin&#8230; d\u00fcnya lakinl\u0259rl\u0259 doludur.<br \/>\n-Sara xala, m\u0259n gedir\u0259m.<br \/>\n-Ay bala, hara gedirs\u0259n yen\u0259? Yen\u0259 m\u0259ni t\u0259k qoyacan?<br \/>\n-Yox, gedir\u0259m kiray\u0259d\u0259 qald\u0131\u011f\u0131m evin a\u00e7ar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259slim edib,<br \/>\nbir iki pal-paltar\u0131m\u0131 da y\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u0259lim&#8230; Art\u0131q ayr\u0131l\u0131q yoxdu Sara<br \/>\nxan\u0131m. \u00d6l\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r s\u0259ninl\u0259y\u0259m. \u018flimd\u0259n bezs\u0259n d\u0259 getdi<br \/>\nyoxdu daha. Evl\u0259n\u0259c\u0259m, bax bu evi c\u0131pp\u0131l\u0131 u\u015faqlarla dolduracam.<br \/>\nEmin s\u00f6z\u00fc zarafata sal\u0131b qap\u0131ya t\u0259r\u0259f gedirdi ki, bird\u0259n<br \/>\ngeri d\u00f6nd\u00fc, stolun \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n Saran\u0131n bi\u015firdiyi piroqdan bir<br \/>\ndilim a\u011fz\u0131na al\u0131b qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131. \u00c7\u0131xmazdan \u0259vv\u0259l ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7\u0259ri sal\u0131b,<br \/>\nSaraya bax\u0131b dill\u0259ndi:<br \/>\n-Sara xala, olar s\u0259n\u0259 ana deyim?<br \/>\nSaran\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259rini sevinc ya\u015flar\u0131 b\u0259z\u0259di. \u201cana\u201d, ona \u201cana\u201d<br \/>\ndey\u0259c\u0259kdi, \u00fcst\u0259lik d\u0259 Emin art\u0131q onunla ya\u015fayacaqd\u0131. Evd\u0259n<br \/>\nail\u0259 s\u0259das\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k, k\u00f6rp\u0259l\u0259r b\u0259z\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi evi&#8230;<br \/>\n-Bilirs\u0259n? M\u0259n bunu he\u00e7 kim\u0259 dem\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. S\u0259n, h\u0259r<br \/>\nzaman m\u0259niml\u0259 oldun. S\u0259n, el\u0259 m\u0259nim axtard\u0131\u011f\u0131m anamsan.<br \/>\nANAM.<br \/>\nSara cavab ver\u0259 bilm\u0259di. Emini ba\u011fr\u0131na basd\u0131. K\u00f6vr\u0259ldiyini ondan gizl\u0259tdi. Emin d\u0259 n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 k\u00f6vr\u0259ldi.<br \/>\n-Ana, m\u0259n uza\u011f\u0131 ax\u015fama evd\u0259y\u0259m. M\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259\u015f\u0259ng bir<br \/>\nx\u0259ng\u0259l bi\u015fir\u0259rs\u0259n? Bilirs\u0259n, \u00fcr\u0259yim\u0259 nec\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb?<br \/>\nEmini yola salan kimi, Saran\u0131n ya\u015fl\u0131 v\u00fccuduna parlaql\u0131q<br \/>\ng\u0259ldi. Evi, h\u0259y\u0259t \u2013 bacan\u0131 t\u0259r \u2013 t\u0259miz el\u0259di. Emin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn qurutlu<br \/>\nx\u0259ng\u0259lin haz\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc. H\u0259l\u0259 bir ara vaxt edib ma\u011fazaya da<br \/>\nqa\u00e7d\u0131, Emin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn x\u00fcsusi hamam d\u0259sti, t\u0259z\u0259 d\u0259smal, corab,<br \/>\nk\u00f6yn\u0259kl\u0259r ald\u0131 onun\u00e7\u00fcn. Ke\u00e7mi\u015fi ona xat\u0131rladacaq he\u00e7 n\u0259 olsun<br \/>\nist\u0259mirdi. \u00d6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 planla\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131 ki, sabah da onu ma\u011fazaya<br \/>\napars\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn \u0259yin-ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fsin.<br \/>\nEmin Saran\u0131n evind\u0259n ayr\u0131landa tam f\u0259rqli idi. Bir az<br \/>\npiyada getdikd\u0259n sonra dayanacaqda dayand\u0131-cibind\u0259ki b\u0131\u00e7a\u011f\u0131<br \/>\n\u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b zibil qutusuna atd\u0131. \u00dcst\u0259li siqaretini, h\u0259tta gizli<br \/>\ncibind\u0259ki balaca ka\u011f\u0131za b\u00fck\u00fcl\u00fc tabletl\u0259rini (narkotikini) d\u0259 atd\u0131<br \/>\nAntologiya<br \/>\n125<br \/>\nzibil\u0259. Yolun k\u0259nar\u0131na ke\u00e7di. Qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda ki\u00e7ik bir park kimi bir<br \/>\nyer var idi. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131b s\u0259maya baxd\u0131. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di:<br \/>\n-Allah\u0131m, ana dem\u0259k nec\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l bir duy\u011fu imi\u015f&#8230; eh,<br \/>\nbunu Sara bacard\u0131. Ana olma\u011f\u0131&#8230; S\u0259n ey, m\u0259ni do\u011fan, m\u0259ni atan<br \/>\nqad\u0131n m\u0259ni ist\u0259mirs\u0259n, he\u00e7 ist\u0259m\u0259 d\u0259. Get evind\u0259kil\u0259ri b\u00f6y\u00fct.<br \/>\nS\u0259n qocalanda onlar s\u0259ni atanda m\u0259n Saram\u0131n aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 suya<br \/>\nqoyub onu g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 saxlayacam. Evl\u0259n\u0259c\u0259m, m\u00fcalic\u0259<br \/>\nolacam, o z\u0259hrimar\u0131 da atacam. Sizin ac\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131za d\u00fcz be\u015f u\u015fa\u011f\u0131m<br \/>\nolacaq. Q\u0131zlar\u0131m, o\u011flanlar\u0131m&#8230; M\u0259n sizsiz bel\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt olma\u011f\u0131<br \/>\nbacaracam&#8230;<br \/>\nK\u0259nd\u0259 nec\u0259, n\u0259 vaxt getdiyini tam olaraq xat\u0131rlamad\u0131.<br \/>\nOnu g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259n yeni, t\u0259rt\u0259miz h\u0259yatda Emin ke\u00e7mi\u015fi il\u0259<br \/>\nvidala\u015fmaq ist\u0259yirdi. \u201cAna\u201ds\u0131na i\u00e7ind\u0259kil\u0259ri hayq\u0131raraq deyib<br \/>\nk\u0259ndd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7ox y\u00fcng\u00fcl hiss edirdi. Ruhuna bir<br \/>\nsakitlik \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u018fmin idi, d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259c\u0259k, qara d\u00fcnyas\u0131na \u0259lvida<br \/>\ndeyib a\u011fappaq bir s\u0259hif\u0259 a\u00e7acaq.<br \/>\nB\u0259z\u0259n araya \u00e7\u00f6k\u0259n s\u0259ssizlik insan\u0131 d\u0259li bir qorxuya sal\u0131r.<br \/>\nEl\u0259 bir qorxu ki, \u00fcr\u0259yinin d\u00f6y\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fcnd\u0259n qulaqlar\u0131n bat\u0131r. Bir<br \/>\nh\u0259nirti, bir n\u0259f\u0259s ya n\u0259s\u0259, n\u0259s\u0259 bir \u015fey g\u0259zirs\u0259n amma&#8230;<br \/>\n\u00d6l\u00fcmc\u00fcld\u00fcr! \u00d6l\u00fcmc\u00fcld\u00fcr!<br \/>\n-Ay Sara, yaman \u0259l aya\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcs\u0259n. Xeyr ola?<br \/>\n-Ay qon\u015fu, Eminim art\u0131q h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259lik g\u0259lir yan\u0131ma.<br \/>\n-G\u00f6z\u00fcn ayd\u0131n, Allah s\u0259nin z\u0259hm\u0259tini \u0259lind\u0259 qoymad\u0131 ay<br \/>\nSara. O u\u015fa\u011fa s\u0259n \u00e7ox \u0259ziyy\u0259t \u00e7\u0259kmis\u0259n.<br \/>\n-Onu evl\u0259nir\u0259c\u0259m, art\u0131q ayr\u0131l\u0131q yoxdur. Bu n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259<br \/>\ndolacaq.<br \/>\n-\u0130n\u015fallah Sara, in\u015fallah!<br \/>\nSara sevincind\u0259n qanad al\u0131b u\u00e7urdu. Ax\u015fam onun evind\u0259<br \/>\ni\u015f\u0131q yanacaqd\u0131. H\u0259y\u0259t bacas\u0131nda ayaq s\u0259sl\u0259ri e\u015fidil\u0259c\u0259kdi&#8230;<br \/>\n-Alo, can, g\u0259lir\u0259m ana, yoldayam.<br \/>\nSaran\u0131n s\u0259bri qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, yar\u0131m saatda bir Emin\u0259<br \/>\nz\u0259ng edirdi.<br \/>\nH\u0259min g\u00fcn ax\u015fam, m\u0259hz h\u0259min g\u00fcn ax\u015fam Saran\u0131n<br \/>\nqonaqlar\u0131 \u00e7ox oldu. B\u00fct\u00fcn qon\u015fular\u0131, Eminin dostlar\u0131 onlara<br \/>\ng\u0259lmi\u015fdi. H\u0259tta&#8230; h\u0259tta polisl\u0259r d\u0259. Saran\u0131n can par\u0259si Emin d\u0259&#8230;<br \/>\n126<br \/>\nAmma&#8230; Sara bu q\u0259d\u0259r t\u00fcnl\u00fcy\u0259 al\u0131\u015fmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Buz kimi yerind\u0259<br \/>\ndonub qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Emini bel\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259mirdi.<br \/>\n&#8230;Emin kiray\u0259 qald\u0131\u011f\u0131 ev\u0259 getdi. C\u0259mi bir\u2013iki \u0259\u015fya<br \/>\ng\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. Divarda \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259y\u0259 sal\u0131nm\u0131\u015f onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259n \u0259ziz olan bir<br \/>\n\u015f\u0259kli d\u0259 \u00e7antas\u0131na qoydu. Hara ged\u0259rdis\u0259 bu \u015f\u0259kil m\u00fctl\u0259q<br \/>\nonunla birlikd\u0259 olard\u0131. T\u0259kliyinin, b\u00fct\u00fcn ac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ar\u0259si t\u0259k o<br \/>\n\u015f\u0259kil idi. Evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 dostuna d\u0259ydi, u\u015faq kimi<br \/>\nsevinc\u0259k ba\u015flamaq ist\u0259diyi h\u0259yat haqda onlarla dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bir iki<br \/>\nn\u0259f\u0259r\u0259 d\u0259 olan borcunu apar\u0131b verdi. H\u0259bsxanadak\u0131 dostu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn<br \/>\nd\u0259 azuq\u0259 apar\u0131b t\u0259hvil verdi. Yol\u00fcst\u00fc Sara \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 h\u0259diyy\u0259<br \/>\nalma\u011f\u0131 unutmad\u0131. H\u0259diyy\u0259sini yax\u015f\u0131 bir ba\u011flamaya ba\u011flatd\u0131r\u0131b<br \/>\nyola d\u00fcz\u0259ldi. Piyada ke\u00e7idinin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda dayanark\u0259n kimins\u0259<br \/>\nonu izl\u0259diyini hiss etdi, lakin geriy\u0259 \u00e7evrilm\u0259y\u0259 imkan<br \/>\ntapmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, sa\u011f b\u00f6yr\u00fcn\u0259 n\u0259yins\u0259 sanc\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss etdi. Bir<br \/>\nne\u00e7\u0259 saniy\u0259 sonra hu\u015fsuz halda yer\u0259 s\u0259rildi. \u018flind\u0259 b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk<br \/>\ntutdu\u011fu \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259ni v\u0259 h\u0259diyy\u0259ni k\u00f6ks\u00fcn\u0259 s\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bu, onun<br \/>\nSaraya o\u011ful h\u0259diyy\u0259si idi&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8230;Olanlar\u0131 Sara d\u0259rk ed\u0259 bilmirdi. Qap\u0131dan gir\u0259n h\u0259r<br \/>\nk\u0259sd\u0259n Emin soru\u015furdu. Saran\u0131 sakitl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259c\u0259k kims\u0259si yox idi.<br \/>\nSara Emini axtar\u0131rd\u0131&#8230;<br \/>\nPolis n\u0259f\u0259rl\u0259ri g\u0259ldi. Qatil tutulmu\u015fdu, \u00f6z etiraf\u0131nda<br \/>\nanama iftira atd\u0131, m\u0259n d\u0259 intiqam ald\u0131m demi\u015fdi. Eminin qatili<br \/>\nonun \u00f6gey qarda\u015f\u0131 idi. O, anas\u0131 il\u0259 Eminin s\u00f6hb\u0259tini e\u015fidib,<br \/>\nanas\u0131 da ail\u0259si da\u011f\u0131lmas\u0131n, \u0259ri onu bo\u015famas\u0131n, ad\u0131na s\u00f6z<br \/>\ng\u0259lm\u0259sin dey\u0259 h\u0259min g\u0259ncin y\u0259ni, Eminin ona b\u00f6htan atd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131,<br \/>\nondan k\u00fclli miqdarda pul t\u0259l\u0259b etdiyini dey\u0259r\u0259k o\u011flunu<br \/>\ninand\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Anas\u0131na inanan o\u011flan ona b\u00f6htan atan \u201ck\u00fc\u00e7\u0259<br \/>\nu\u015fa\u011f\u0131&#8221;ndan intiqam almaq q\u0259rar\u0131na g\u0259lir. Evd\u0259n b\u0131\u00e7aq g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb<br \/>\n\u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259, Emini axtarma\u011fa g\u0259lir. V\u0259&#8230;<br \/>\nSara Eminin \u0259lind\u0259ki \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259ni evin divar\u0131na asd\u0131.<br \/>\nH\u0259min \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 ya\u015fl\u0131 Emin v\u0259 g\u0259nc Sara var idi. Sevimli<br \/>\nSaras\u0131n\u0131n quca\u011f\u0131nda oturub g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259y\u0259 \u00fcmidl\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>G\u00dcLNAR\u018f SAD\u0130Q Tanr\u0131n\u0131n \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck u\u011furu onun yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u0130NSANd\u0131r. Insan \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck u\u011furu is\u0259 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 kitabd\u0131r, kitabdak\u0131 h\u0259yatlard\u0131r. H\u0259r k\u0259s \u00f6z h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fay\u0131r, h\u0259r k\u0259s \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ya\u015fay\u0131r \u2013 amma yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259r bizi ya\u015fay\u0131rlar. G\u00fcld\u00fcr\u0259r\u0259k, a\u011fladaraq. Bu arada, a\u011flama\u011f\u0131n da \u00f6z g\u00f6z\u0259lliyi var \u2013 dem\u0259k, s\u0259n varsan ki, a\u011flama\u011f\u0131 da bacar\u0131rsan. Varl\u0131q el\u0259 biz \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fck. Yaradan\u0131 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-zerifkolgeler"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30530"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30530\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30538,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30530\/revisions\/30538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}