{"id":37882,"date":"2021-04-03T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-04-03T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=37882"},"modified":"2021-04-03T16:45:11","modified_gmt":"2021-04-03T12:45:11","slug":"terane-turan-rahimli-meryem-hikay%c9%99","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=37882","title":{"rendered":"Terane TURAN RAH\u0130ML\u0130.”MERYEM” (hik\u00e2y\u0259)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Az\u0259rbaycan v\u0259 Yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131lar Birlikl\u0259rinin \u00fczv\u00fc, Prezident t\u0259qa\u00fcd\u00e7\u00fcs\u00fc, D\u00fcnya G\u0259nc T\u00fcrk Yazar Birliyi (DGTYB) M\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t \u015euras\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczv\u00fc, filologiya \u00fczr\u0259 f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259 doktoru, dosent, \u015fair, t\u0259nqid\u00e7i, \u0259d\u0259biyyat\u015f\u00fcnas<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hava yeni kararm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Avluda sessizlik vard\u0131. Ninem k\u00fcmese bak\u0131p tavuklar\u0131-civcivleri yoklad\u0131, hepsinin t\u00fcnekte b\u00fcz\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp yatt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce k\u00fcmesin kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 kapatt\u0131. Parmakl\u0131ktan tutup her zamanki gibi yava\u015f ad\u0131mlarla iki katl\u0131 evin ikinci kat\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kan merdivenlerden yukar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yordu ki, avlu kap\u0131s\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. (Avlu kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 kapatmay\u0131 unuttu\u011funu da \u015fimdi anlad\u0131.) Avlu kap\u0131s\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcnde kom\u015fu Ruhsare g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc. O, \u00abburaya gel, buras\u0131d\u0131r\u00bb diye avluya davet etti\u011fi ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131nla a\u00e7\u0131k kap\u0131dan i\u00e7eri girdi. Ninem bu vakitsiz misafirlerin geli\u015fine \u015fa\u015f\u0131rsa da bunu belli etmedi. Ruhsare kap\u0131 kom\u015fusu idi, avlu kap\u0131lar\u0131 birbirine bak\u0131yordu. Lakin konu-kom\u015fuya gidip-gelmezdi, nadiren birisinin kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7ard\u0131. \u00dcstelik, avludan el-aya\u011f\u0131n \u00e7ekildi\u011fi karanl\u0131k d\u00fc\u015fen bir vakitte. Ninem hemen bu vakitsiz geli\u015fin Ruhsare\u2019nin \u00f6n\u00fcne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp yol g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi bu ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131nla ilgili oldu\u011funu anlad\u0131. Gelenlerle selamla\u015f\u0131p rahats\u0131z bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 onlara dikti. Ruhsare de onu beklemede b\u0131rakmay\u0131p \u00e7abucak konuya girdi. G\u00fczel haberi \u00e7abuk verme tela\u015f\u0131yla merakl\u0131 bir \u00fcslupla nineme sordu:
\u2013 Tavat, iyi bak bakal\u0131m, kim oldu\u011funu biliyor musun?
Ninem 65 \u2013 70 ya\u015flar\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fcnen, uzun boylu, beyaz tenli, ela g\u00f6zlerinin bebekleri heyecandan titreyen bu garip kad\u0131n\u0131 dikkatlice s\u00fczd\u00fc. Kad\u0131n\u0131n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sarkm\u0131\u015f \u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcn alt\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fclen d\u00fcz sa\u00e7lar\u0131 da, mucize bekliyor gibi d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmledi\u011fi ka\u015flar\u0131 da bembeyaz idi. Bu beyazl\u0131k onun ayd\u0131nl\u0131k \u00e7ehresine \u00f6zel bir g\u00fczellik veriyor, simas\u0131n\u0131 daha da nurlu g\u00f6steriyordu. Tahminen ayn\u0131 ya\u015fta g\u00f6r\u00fcnen bu iki kad\u0131n uzun bir s\u00fcre bak\u0131\u015ft\u0131lar. Birden ninemin bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 kad\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6zlerinin derinli\u011fine tak\u0131l\u0131p kald\u0131. \u00abMeryem\u00bb s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn dilinden d\u00fc\u015fmesi ile onlar\u0131n biri birilerine sar\u0131lmas\u0131, g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n biri birine kar\u0131\u015fmas\u0131 ayn\u0131 anda ger\u00e7ekle\u015fti. Bu sahne, izlemeye duran \u00e7oluk-\u00e7ocu\u011fu da, kom\u015fu Ruhsare\u2019yi de h\u00fcz\u00fcnlendirdi.
Ninem, \u00abAllah-Allah! Kamboy’umun can-ci\u011feri\u00bb diye diye ad\u0131 Meryem olan bu kad\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6p\u00fcp kucaklamaya doymuyordu. Art\u0131k evdekiler de bu ad\u0131 i\u015fittiklerinde misafirin kimli\u011fini anlam\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Hepsi \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla Meryem’e bak\u0131yordu. Efsanenin ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmesi imk\u00e2ns\u0131z g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi Meryem’in uzak ge\u00e7mi\u015fteki hat\u0131ralardan geli\u015fi de masal kahraman\u0131n\u0131n ger\u00e7ek hayatta g\u00f6r\u00fcnmesi gibi inan\u0131lmaz \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k do\u011furmu\u015ftu. \u00c7ocuk ya\u015flar\u0131ndan ninemin mutlu gen\u00e7 k\u0131zl\u0131k \u00e7a\u011flar\u0131, bey kona\u011f\u0131ndaki bolluk g\u00fcnleri, daha sonra babas\u0131 Dada\u015f Bey’in s\u00fcrg\u00fcn edilmesi, yeni evlenmi\u015f, hen\u00fcz \u00e7oluk-\u00e7ocuk sahibi olmayan karde\u015fi Kamboy’un ahretli\u011fi Meryem’in sevgili erke\u011finden zorla kopar\u0131l\u0131p s\u00fcrg\u00fcne g\u00f6nderilmesi, sonra Kamboy’un sava\u015fta yitik d\u00fc\u015fmesi, anas\u0131 Zabite Han\u0131m’\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fcden azap \u00e7ekerek \u00f6lmesi\u2026 B\u00fct\u00fcn bu hat\u0131ralar\u0131 d\u00f6ne d\u00f6ne dinlemi\u015ftim.
Ninem ans\u0131z\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fman\u0131n heyecan\u0131ndan yerinde donup kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Meryem’e bakt\u0131k\u00e7a bakt\u0131, bakt\u0131\u2026 Sanki birden ay\u0131l\u0131p aziz misafirini geldi\u011finden beri ayakta bekletti\u011finin fark\u0131na vard\u0131: – Uzak yoldan geliyorsun, yorgunsun. – dedi. Bir birinin beline sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f halde basamaklar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131lar. Ninemin sevincinin de, kederinin de haddi hududu yoktu. Tanr\u0131’n\u0131n izni ile hepi topu alt\u0131 ayc\u0131k aziz karde\u015fi Kamboy’a zevcelik, babas\u0131 Dada\u015f Bey’e gelinlik eden Meryem – anas\u0131 Zabite Han\u0131m’\u0131n sevimli b\u00fcy\u00fck gelininin s\u00fcrg\u00fcnde \u00f6l\u00fcp gitmedi\u011fine, Sibirya’n\u0131n vah\u015fetinden sa\u011f salim \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p bu kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmaya gelebildi\u011fine seviniyordu. (Sibirya vah\u015fetlerini ise bir s\u00fcre sonra Meryem’in konu\u015fmalar\u0131ndan daha a\u00e7\u0131k \u015fekilde anlayacak, sa\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n t\u00fcyleri dik dik olacakt\u0131.) Dada\u015f Bey’in s\u00fcrg\u00fcn edildi\u011fi, asl\u0131nda izinin kesin kaybedildi\u011fi, \u00fc\u00e7 katl\u0131 bey kona\u011f\u0131ndan – dede-baba ocaklar\u0131ndan zorla g\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcld\u00fckleri, karde\u015flerinin birbirinden ayr\u0131 d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc, anas\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fcden ate\u015flere d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc, kendisinin t\u00fcrl\u00fc t\u00fcrl\u00fc belalara d\u00fc\u00e7ar oldu\u011fu g\u00fcnler yeniden g\u00f6zlerinin \u00f6n\u00fcnde canland\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in de kederleniyordu.
O, Meryem’i lafa tutmazdan \u00f6nce \u00e7ay-\u00e7\u00f6rek sofras\u0131n\u0131 haz\u0131rlad\u0131. Dolab\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131p oradaki emanet kutusundan ikiye katlanm\u0131\u015f, sararm\u0131\u015f bir defter yapra\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p Meryem’e uzatt\u0131: Bak bakal\u0131m ne mektubu?
Okuma – yazma bilmeyen ninem k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 kalemle alel-acele yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olan bu mektuptaki metni \u00f6nceleri o\u011fluna, sonralar\u0131 ise torunlar\u0131na o kadar \u00e7ok okutmu\u015ftu ki, orada yaz\u0131lanlar\u0131 birebir ezberden biliyordu. Mektubu a\u00e7ar a\u00e7maz Meryem’in iri ela g\u00f6zleri bu\u011fuland\u0131. Yanaklar\u0131ndan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 do\u011fru yuvarlanan bir damla ya\u015f k\u00e2\u011f\u0131ttaki \u00abdaha\u00bb s\u00f6zc\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00fczerine d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Ondan \u00f6nceki sat\u0131rda yaz\u0131l\u0131 olan \u00abbelki\u00bb s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00fczerindeki g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 hangi vakit d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Meryem, bu mektubu yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u0131rada, s\u00fcrg\u00fcne g\u00f6nderildikleri o gam y\u00fckl\u00fc katardaki u\u011fursuz gecelerden birinde ak\u0131tt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 tan\u0131d\u0131. O ac\u0131 hat\u0131ralar\u0131 an\u0131nca her iki eli ile y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc kapatarak y\u00fcrek yakan h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131k ile a\u011flad\u0131. Evde bulunanlar\u0131n hi\u00e7biri, bu anda, d\u00fcnyadaki b\u00fct\u00fcn haks\u0131zl\u0131klar nedeniyle, b\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fcnyan\u0131n yerine, d\u00fcnyadaki b\u00fct\u00fcn dertlilerin g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131yla a\u011flamak isteyen bu ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131na teselli vermek istemedi. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 hi\u00e7bir teselli avutamazd\u0131. Ninem de onunla birlikte bu g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131na kat\u0131l\u0131p b\u00fct\u00fcn bir neslin asilzadeli\u011fi y\u00fcz\u00fcnden d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc durumlara a\u011flad\u0131.
Meryem g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 dindirip bir s\u00fcredir e\u011fle\u015fti\u011fi odan\u0131n duvarlar\u0131nda g\u00f6z gezdirdi\u011finde ilk olarak Kamboy’un foto\u011fraf\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Ninem Tavat Han\u0131m’\u0131n Kamboy’un yan\u0131nda durdu\u011fu bu foto\u011fraf asl\u0131nda ayr\u0131 ayr\u0131 \u00e7ekilmi\u015fti. Kamboy sava\u015fta kaybolduktan sonra ninem her iki sureti birle\u015ftirip b\u00fcy\u00fctmeyi foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131dan istemi\u015fti. Foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n ustal\u0131kla birle\u015ftirip b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bu foto\u011fraf o zamandan evde en mukaddes bir hat\u0131raya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Meryem \u00f6ne \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p foto\u011fraf\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda durdu. Ge\u00e7en y\u0131llar boyunca hayalinde ya\u015fatt\u0131\u011f\u0131, halen de gen\u00e7lik \u015fevki ile sevdi\u011fi sevgilisinin g\u00f6zlerine bakt\u0131, bakt\u0131\u2026 Babas\u0131 Elbrus Bey\u2019in evinden gelin \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fc, b\u00fcy\u00fcklerin hay\u0131r duas\u0131n\u0131, Dada\u015f Bey\u2019in b\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011flu Kamboy\u2019a kavu\u015faca\u011f\u0131 an\u0131 gizli hasretle bekledi\u011fini, o an\u0131n anlat\u0131lamaz g\u00fczelli\u011fini\u2026 Daha neleri, neleri hat\u0131rlad\u0131. Sanki Kamboy\u2019un kendisi ile y\u00fcz y\u00fcze duruyormu\u015f gibi s\u00f6ze ba\u015flad\u0131: – 70 ya\u015f\u0131 devirdim, Kamboy! Sensiz neler g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, bilsen\u2026 Sibirya, i\u015fkence, hakaret, a\u00e7l\u0131k, susuzluk, hastal\u0131k\u2026 \u00d6l\u00fcmden d\u00f6nd\u00fcm, yollar beni \u00e7ok yordu. \u0130nsanlar g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, merdi de oldu, namerdi de. Ancak senin gibisini g\u00f6rmedim Kamboy!
Sonra g\u00f6zlerini foto\u011fraftan ay\u0131rmadan: \u2013Bir bilebilseniz o nas\u0131l bir insan idi\u2026 Allah onu tek yaratm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kamboy gibi yi\u011fit o vakit de yok idi, \u015fimdi de yoktur\u2013 dedi.
Gece sabaha kadar uyumad\u0131lar. Ninem, Bak\u00fc asilzadelerinden olan me\u015fhur A\u011facanl\u0131lar soyunun en yak\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131, Petersburg\u2019da y\u00fcksek e\u011fitim g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f o\u011flu Mehdi ile d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnlerinden, gelin gitti\u011fi faytonun Bol\u015fevikler taraf\u0131ndan al\u0131konulmas\u0131ndan, sevgili ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131ndan zorla kopar\u0131lmas\u0131ndan, Bol\u015fevik \u0130srafil\u2019le (babamla) ailesinin kalan \u00fcyelerini kurtarmak maksad\u0131yla evlili\u011fe raz\u0131 oldu\u011fundan, kocas\u0131n d\u00fczenledi\u011fi, on alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki gen\u00e7 k\u0131z\u0131n ma\u011fduriyeti pahas\u0131na ger\u00e7ekle\u015fen sahte bo\u015fanma belgesi nedeniyle anas\u0131n\u0131n, karde\u015flerinin ve kendisinin Sibirya\u2019ya s\u00fcr\u011f\u00fcn edilmemesinden, 1941 y\u0131l\u0131nda sava\u015f ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 zaman Meryem\u2019siz kendine bir yer bulamayan Kamboy\u2019un kendini \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn a\u011fu\u015funa at\u0131p \u00f6n cepheye yollanmas\u0131ndan, kaybolmas\u0131ndan\u2026 ve bir\u00e7ok ba\u015fka meselelerden bahsetti.
Meryem de kendi ba\u015f\u0131na gelenleri anlatt\u0131. Sibirya\u2019ya giden trende nas\u0131l hakarete u\u011frad\u0131klar\u0131ndan, yol boyunca askerlerin onlar\u0131 al\u00e7altmas\u0131ndan, f\u0131rsat bulan kimi asilzadelerin intihar etmesinden, kendinin ba\u015far\u0131ya ula\u015fmayan intihar giri\u015fiminden, yer alt\u0131 maden oca\u011f\u0131ndaki a\u011f\u0131r \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma \u015fartlar\u0131ndan\u2026
\u2013Sa\u00e7\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 da kesmi\u015flerdi, Tavat. Aylarca banyo yapam\u0131yorduk, herkesin ba\u015f\u0131 bit-sirkeyle dolu idi. Hem de \u00f6yle a\u011f\u0131r \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmadan sonra sa\u00e7 \u00f6rg\u00fcs\u00fc de ba\u015fa a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131k ediyordu. Sa\u00e7\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 keseceklerini biliyordum. O nedenle \u00f6nceden sa\u00e7 \u00f6rg\u00fclerimi kesip saklam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Kamboy\u2019un elinin s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131 onlarda, k\u0131y\u0131p da atamazd\u0131m\u2026\u2013 s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc tamamlayamad\u0131, birden ya\u015f\u00e7a kendinden b\u00fcy\u00fck bald\u0131z\u0131 ile (aralar\u0131nda be\u015f ya\u015f fark vard\u0131) konu\u015ftu\u011funu hat\u0131rlay\u0131p utanc\u0131ndan yanaklar\u0131 k\u0131zard\u0131. T\u0131pk\u0131 gen\u00e7li\u011findeki gibi\u2026
Ninem Meryem\u2019in y\u00fcz\u00fcnde bundan elli y\u0131l \u00f6nceki k\u0131zar\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Deminden beri onu merakland\u0131ran soruyu sordu; – Nas\u0131l oldu da ka\u00e7abildiniz?
\u2013 Yer alt\u0131 maden oca\u011f\u0131nda i\u015f \u00e7ok a\u011f\u0131r idi. Bir yandan da a\u00e7l\u0131k, hastal\u0131k. A\u00e7l\u0131k olan yerde hastal\u0131k da eksik olmuyor. K\u0131zam\u0131k, verem, ast\u0131m\u2026 Hemen hemen her g\u00fcn \u00f6len var idi. Cenazeleri defnetme i\u015flemini de bize yapt\u0131r\u0131yorlard\u0131. Bize hayvandan da k\u00f6t\u00fc muamele ediyorlard\u0131. Havas\u0131zl\u0131ktan herkesin rengi sapsar\u0131 olmu\u015ftu. Sadece cenaze defnederken hava y\u00fcz\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcyorduk. Cenaze defnetmek sana kolay gelmesin. Sibirya\u2019n\u0131n k\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 anlayamazs\u0131n. Erkeklerin t\u00fck\u00fcr\u00fc\u011f\u00fc havada donup sakal\u0131ndan sallan\u0131yordu. Yer, ayazdan nas\u0131l donup ta\u015fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyorsa, orda en h\u00fcnerli erkek bile mezar kazamazd\u0131. Her seferinde mezar kazma g\u00f6revini \u00fc\u00e7 ki\u015fiye veriyorlard\u0131. Bu \u00fc\u00e7 ki\u015fi de ellerine balta al\u0131p buz tutmu\u015f, ayazdan ta\u015fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f topra\u011f\u0131 yarmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yordu. \u00d6yle oluyordu ki, sabahtan bu minval \u00fczere mezar kazmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yor gece yar\u0131s\u0131 ancak bitirebiliyorduk. Bir deyi\u015fle, mezar kazmak madende yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z en a\u011f\u0131r i\u015ften de a\u011f\u0131r idi.
Bir g\u00fcn Karaba\u011f beylerinden birinin g\u00fczel k\u0131z\u0131 kendini asm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00abG\u00fczel\u00bb diyorum ama g\u00fczel oldu\u011funu o k\u0131z\u0131n belki kendisi de unutmu\u015ftu, her g\u00fcn y\u00fcz\u00fcne-g\u00f6z\u00fcne k\u00f6m\u00fcr isi \u00e7al\u0131p geziyordu.
\u2013 Neden?
\u2013 Orada namusumuzu korumak i\u00e7in \u00e7o\u011fumuz b\u00f6yle yap\u0131yorduk. Kendimizi kasten \u00e7irkin g\u00f6stermek i\u00e7in neler yapm\u0131yorduk? Hatta ka\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 da tamamen yolup d\u00f6km\u00fc\u015ft\u00fck\u2026 Ha! O k\u0131z da f\u0131rsat bulup kendini \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Sibirya\u2019da bu ba\u015fl\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na bir h\u00fcner idi. \u0130ntihar etmeye de b\u0131rakm\u0131yorlard\u0131. Biz sa\u011f kal\u0131p \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmal\u0131, a\u00e7l\u0131k ve i\u015fkence g\u00f6rmeliydik. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc biz, Sovyet h\u00fck\u00fcmetini tan\u0131mak istemeyen adamlar\u0131n kar\u0131lar\u0131, k\u0131zlar\u0131 idik. \u0130nsan\u0131 yakan nedir bilir misin? Su\u00e7suz cezaland\u0131r\u0131lmak. Bu nedenle biz durumumuzla uzla\u015fam\u0131yorduk. Su\u00e7umuzun sadece asilzade olmam\u0131z olmas\u0131yla, sadece bu su\u00e7la Sibirya\u2019ya g\u00f6nderilmemizle uzla\u015fmam\u0131z m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fildi. Ha! O kad\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc g\u00fcn hava her zamankinden daha so\u011fuk idi. Mezar kazma g\u00f6revini, anama, bana ve ba\u015fka bir kad\u0131na vermi\u015flerdi. Asl\u0131nda bu ta\u015f k\u0131rmakla e\u015fitti. Baltalar\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcp g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fckle i\u015fe ba\u015flad\u0131k. Hava o kadar so\u011fuktu ki, ayaz eldivenin i\u00e7inden ge\u00e7ip insan\u0131n ili\u011fine i\u015fliyordu. B\u00fcy\u00fck baltalar\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 da insan\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7ten d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. Baltay\u0131 her kald\u0131r\u0131p indiri\u015fte ta\u015fa d\u00f6nen topraktan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir par\u00e7a kopuyordu. Mezar kaz\u0131l\u0131p bitmek bilmiyordu. A\u00e7-susuz ak\u015famadek kazd\u0131k. Mezar\u0131 hen\u00fcz yar\u0131 etmemi\u015ftik. N\u00f6bet\u00e7iler s\u00f6yleniyor, bize en k\u00f6t\u00fc k\u00fcf\u00fcrleri ediyor, i\u015fin gecikmesinden dolay\u0131 sinirleniyorlard\u0131. Art\u0131k hava kararm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Eli silahl\u0131 n\u00f6bet\u00e7iler sigaralar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7eke-\u00e7eke kar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde dola\u015fmaktan bezmi\u015flerdi. Onlar iki ki\u015fi idiler. Kendi aralar\u0131nda f\u0131s\u0131lda\u015f\u0131p bir \u015feyler konu\u015fuyorlard\u0131. F\u0131rsattan istifade anam ve \u00f6b\u00fcr kad\u0131n ellerinde balta ile onlara do\u011fru sald\u0131rd\u0131lar. Anam elindeki baltay\u0131 \u015fiddetle n\u00f6bet\u00e7ilerden birinin ba\u015f\u0131na indirdi. \u00d6b\u00fcr kad\u0131n ise baltay\u0131 hedefe vuramay\u0131p di\u011fer n\u00f6bet\u00e7iyi omzundan yaralam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. O, yere \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi kad\u0131n da onun g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcp bo\u011fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Onlar\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrmeleri o kadar ani oldu ki, ya\u015fananlardan kendime gelemiyordum. Lakin art\u0131k ka\u00e7mak f\u0131rsat\u0131n\u0131 geri tepmek olmazd\u0131. Biz yak\u0131nlardaki me\u015feli\u011fe y\u00f6neldik. Ka\u00e7\u0131p s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z k\u00f6ydeki ev sahibi \u00e7ok iyi bir insan idi. O, bizi bir y\u0131l evinde saklad\u0131. Sonra\u2026 \u00c7ok k\u00f6yler, \u00e7ok evler g\u00f6rd\u00fck. Bir askere rastlad\u0131k, o bize \u00e7ok iyilikler etti, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcze de sahte kimlikler d\u00fczenledi, i\u015f buldu. Tatar milletindendi, Albay idi, \u2013 Meryem\u2019in sesi burada kesildi. Ninem heyecanla sordu: \u2013 Ya sonra?
\u2013O, bizim b\u00fct\u00fcn s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131za katlanmaya s\u00f6z verdi. Bize \u00f6yle g\u00f6n\u00fclden davran\u0131yordu ki, anam\u0131n da takdirini kazanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Anam\u0131 ki, tan\u0131yorsun\u2026 B\u00f6ylece\u2026 \u2013 Meryem\u2019in seni yine titredi, Kamboy\u2019un duvardaki foto\u011fraf\u0131na baka-baka: \u2013 \u015eimdi o benim kocamd\u0131r. Emekli Albay Atabiyev.
\u2013 Ya \u00e7oluk\u2013\u00e7ocuktan neyiniz var? \u2013Ninem bu soruyu \u00f6zel merakla sordu.
\u2013 \u0130ki k\u0131z\u0131m var, \u2013 sonra ninemin merak\u0131n\u0131 gidermek i\u00e7in ilave etti: \u2013O\u011flum olmad\u0131, olsayd\u0131 Komboy\u2019un ad\u0131n\u0131 koyacakt\u0131m. K\u0131zlar\u0131ma da Kamboy\u2019an bahsettim. Beni iyi anl\u0131yorlar. O da iyi adamd\u0131r (kocas\u0131n\u0131 akl\u0131na getiriyordu), ama \u00e7ok asabidir. Lakin bald\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6zlerinde bir y\u0131\u011f\u0131n soru g\u00f6r\u00fcp dedi: \u2013Benim hayat\u0131m Kamboy\u2019la sona erdi, baht\u0131m\u2013talihim onunla gitti. \u015eimdiki Meryem bir cisimdir, bir de hat\u0131ra yuma\u011f\u0131. Ruhum \u00e7oktan u\u00e7up Kamboy\u2019un yan\u0131na gitti. \u00d6ylece nefes al\u0131p veriyorum\u2026 Sizden haber almak i\u00e7in uzun y\u0131llard\u0131r kavruluyorum. O, korku, o h\u00fcz\u00fcn hen\u00fcz can\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131kmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131, o nedenle arzumu kimseye belli etmeye cesaret edemiyordum. Allah\u2019\u0131n merhameti b\u00fcy\u00fckt\u00fc, ge\u00e7 de olsa ger\u00e7ekle\u015fti. \u015e\u00fck\u00fcr ki, talihimde seni, bu topra\u011f\u0131 bir daha g\u00f6rmek varm\u0131\u015f.
G\u00fcn\u00fcn ayd\u0131nlanmas\u0131 yakla\u015f\u0131yordu. Yetmi\u015f ya\u015f\u0131nda gelin, yetmi\u015f be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131nda bald\u0131z mutlu gen\u00e7li\u011fin, \u00e7ok k\u0131sa s\u00fcren mutlu g\u00fcnlerin birbirinden tatl\u0131 an\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131lar. Y\u0131llardan beri y\u00fcreklerinde dola\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131klar\u0131 en ulvi duygularla haf\u0131zalar\u0131ndaki mukaddes hat\u0131ra sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00abd\u00f6k\u00fcp-d\u00f6k\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrd\u00fcler\u00bb. Birlikte ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131 bey kona\u011f\u0131ndaki g\u00fcnlerin en k\u00f6t\u00fc hallerini de sevin\u00e7le y\u00e2d ettiler. Bu hat\u0131ralar\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan ald\u0131klar\u0131 lezzet kalplerini \u00f6yle bir refahla doldurmu\u015ftu ki, sanki her ikisinin de bir \u00f6m\u00fcrl\u00fck mutluluk pay\u0131n\u0131 saklay\u0131p-saklay\u0131p bir gecede onlara hediye etmi\u015flerdi.
Sohbet esnas\u0131nda ninem: \u2013Meryem, \u0130sfendiyar\u2019\u0131 g\u00f6rmek ister misin? \u2013 diye sordu. Meryem geldi\u011finden beri cevab\u0131n\u0131 almak istedi\u011fi, lakin k\u00f6t\u00fc haber korkusundan sak\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in sustu\u011fu, biricik kayn\u0131n\u0131n sa\u011f\u2013salim oldu\u011funu duyunca d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerini dile getirdi: \u2013Sormaya cesaret bulam\u0131yordum, Tavat! Senin karde\u015f ac\u0131n\u0131n bir de\u011fil iki oldu\u011funu i\u015fitmekten korkuyordum.
\u2013Allah\u2019a \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr, \u0130sfendiyar sa\u011f\u2013selamettedir. \u00d6nceki muzipli\u011fi, haz\u0131rcevapl\u0131\u011f\u0131 da yerindedir. Minge\u00e7evir\u2019de ya\u015f\u0131yor. \u0130stersen sabah gidebiliriz.
\u2026Minge\u00e7evir\u2019den ayr\u0131l\u0131rken Meryem \u0130sfendiyar\u2019\u0131 kucaklay\u0131p: \u2013Bu son g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmemizdir garda\u015f \u2013 dedi, \u2013 \u00e7ok kocad\u0131m, asl\u0131nda ben kendi s\u0131cak yurdumdan uzak d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde kocad\u0131m.
Bu s\u00f6z her \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn\u00fc de h\u00fcz\u00fcnlendirdi. Ger\u00e7ekten her \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc de kocam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ve her \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc Meryem\u2019in dedi\u011fi vakitte kocam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. K\u00fclfet, Dada\u015f Bey\u2019in al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 geceden ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131, bey kona\u011f\u0131ndan kovulup kiral\u0131k eve ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131klar\u0131 g\u00fcnden. Bol\u015feviklerin okul binas\u0131 yapt\u0131klar\u0131 evlerinin yan\u0131ndan ge\u00e7tiklerinde gizli-gizli g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 ak\u0131tt\u0131klar\u0131 andan\u2026 \u00c7oktan kocam\u0131\u015flard\u0131, uzun zaman \u00f6nce\u2026
\u2026Bak\u00fc\u2019den Nal\u00e7ik\u2019e giden tren yava\u015f yava\u015f ilerliyordu. Tekerlerin sesi onu koynuna al\u0131p aheste-aheste uzaklara g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. Bomboz \u00e7orak \u00e7\u00f6ller de, tek-t\u00fck dikenlik dallar\u0131ndan ba\u015fka dal\u0131-buda\u011f\u0131 olmayan \u00e7\u0131plak da\u011flar da, tren gelip ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e tek-t\u00fck \u00ab\u0259\u011filip-y\u0131k\u0131lan\u00bb elektrik direkleri de onu bu ana yurdundan kopar\u0131p ay\u0131r\u0131yordu. Bu ayr\u0131l\u0131kta memnuniyetsizlik, \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc kar\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131 bir s\u00fck\u00fbnet vard\u0131. Bu ayr\u0131l\u0131k bundan elli y\u0131l \u00f6nceki o deh\u015fetli ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011fa benzemiyordu. Bu tren de o tren gibi yede\u011finde \u00e7ekilmez dert y\u00fck\u00fc ta\u015f\u0131m\u0131yordu.
Meryem\u2019in i\u00e7inde bir hafiflik vard\u0131. Elli y\u0131ldan beri ilk defa kendini bu kadar rahat hissediyordu. Sanki d\u00fcnyaya yeniden gelmi\u015f gibiydi. Onu seven kalplerin s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ate\u015fini buluyordu kendinde. Kamboy\u2019un foto\u011fraftan bakan emin bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ona \u2013 kendi vefal\u0131 g\u00fczeline \u00ab\u0130yi ki geldin!\u00bb diyordu.
Bak\u00fc, 2006
T\u00fcrk\u00e7eye \u00e7eviri: Alpaslan Demir<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Az\u0259rbaycan v\u0259 Yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131lar Birlikl\u0259rinin \u00fczv\u00fc, Prezident t\u0259qa\u00fcd\u00e7\u00fcs\u00fc, D\u00fcnya G\u0259nc T\u00fcrk Yazar Birliyi (DGTYB) M\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t \u015euras\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczv\u00fc, filologiya \u00fczr\u0259 f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259 doktoru, dosent, \u015fair, t\u0259nqid\u00e7i, \u0259d\u0259biyyat\u015f\u00fcnas Hava yeni kararm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Avluda sessizlik vard\u0131. Ninem k\u00fcmese bak\u0131p tavuklar\u0131-civcivleri yoklad\u0131, hepsinin t\u00fcnekte b\u00fcz\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp yatt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce k\u00fcmesin kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 kapatt\u0131. Parmakl\u0131ktan tutup her zamanki gibi yava\u015f ad\u0131mlarla iki katl\u0131 evin ikinci kat\u0131na […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37882","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37882","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37882"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37882\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37885,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37882\/revisions\/37885"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37882"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37882"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37882"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}