{"id":42978,"date":"2022-12-21T03:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-20T23:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=42978"},"modified":"2022-12-21T09:03:39","modified_gmt":"2022-12-21T05:03:39","slug":"s%c9%99ad%c9%99t-h%c9%99bibqizi-intihar-h%c9%99ll-yolu-deyil","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=42978","title":{"rendered":"S\u0259ad\u0259t H\u018fB\u0130BQIZI.&#8221;\u0130ntihar h\u0259ll yolu deyil&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/sh.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/sh-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-42988\" srcset=\"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/sh-1024x683.jpg 1024w, http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/sh-300x200.jpg 300w, http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/sh-768x512.jpg 768w, http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/sh.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Kulis.az &#8220;\u0130lin hekay\u0259si&#8221; m\u00fcsabiq\u0259sind\u0259 i\u015ftirak ed\u0259n S\u0259ad\u0259t H\u0259bibq\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n &#8220;\u0130ntihar h\u0259ll yolu deyil&#8221;hekay\u0259sini t\u0259qdim edir.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ucqar da\u011f k\u0259ndinin sa\u011f qanad\u0131nda yerl\u0259\u015f\u0259n, xudmani, ki\u00e7ik bir evi dekabr\u0131n soyu\u011funda sevinc s\u0259sl\u0259ri isitmi\u015fdi. G\u0259nc ail\u0259nin be\u015f ild\u0259n sonra ilk \u00f6vlad\u0131 d\u00fcnyayla salamla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Babalar quda olandan bu yana ilk d\u0259f\u0259 bir-birl\u0259rinin g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin i\u00e7in\u0259 dik baxm\u0131\u015f, bira\u011f\u0131zdan:<br>&#8211; Q\u0131z\u0131n ad\u0131 F\u0259r\u0259h olsun! &#8211; demi\u015fdil\u0259r.<br><br>F\u0259r\u0259h g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi bir-birin\u0259 calaq olmu\u015f iki n\u0259sl\u0259 q\u0131zc\u0131\u011faz&#8230; Amma \u201cf\u0259l\u0259k\u201d dediyimiz n\u0259dirs\u0259, hesab\u0131n\u0131 anlamaq b\u0259\u015f\u0259r \u00f6vlad\u0131n\u0131n h\u00fcn\u0259ri deyil ax\u0131&#8230; \u0130nsan \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn iki ilinin bu hesabda n\u0259y\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r oldu\u011funu bilm\u0259ks\u0259&#8230; Burda \u201cbilm\u0259k\u201d s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc m\u00fcc\u0259rr\u0259dl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259ndi \u201cf\u0259l\u0259k&#8230;\u201d<br><br>Sevincli dekabr ax\u015fam\u0131ndan d\u00fcz iki il sonrayd\u0131, bir ax\u015fam qaratikan kollar\u0131ndan h\u00f6r\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f \u00e7\u0259p\u0259rin o \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259n kims\u0259 s\u0259sinin gur yerin\u0259 sald\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; Tar d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc da\u011f yolunda! Dov\u015fan ovuna ged\u0259n var\u0131yd\u0131m\u0131 k\u0259ndd\u0259?<br><br>Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n ikinci ad g\u00fcn\u00fcnd\u0259 s\u00fcfr\u0259 bo\u015f qalmas\u0131n dey\u0259 s\u0259h\u0259r ert\u0259d\u0259n c\u0259l\u0259 qurma\u011fa getmi\u015fdi g\u0259nc ata&#8230; V\u0259 qay\u0131tmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131&#8230; V\u0259 he\u00e7 qay\u0131tmad\u0131 da&#8230; N\u0259\u015fi aylar sonra-qar \u0259riyib da\u011f \u00e7aylar\u0131n\u0131n can\u0131na can qatanda tap\u0131ld\u0131&#8230;<br><br>&#8230;\u0130ll\u0259r yelqanadl\u0131 ke\u00e7ir deyirl\u0259r. Amma d\u0259rdd\u0259n yaxas\u0131na b\u0259z\u0259k taxan g\u00fcnl\u0259r bu yeld\u0259n qanad\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 da yada salma\u011fa qoymur. F\u0259r\u0259hin anas\u0131 bel\u0259c\u0259, d\u0259rdini da\u011flara, da\u015flara dan\u0131\u015fa-dan\u0131\u015fa, h\u00fczn\u00fcn\u00fc, s\u0259ssizliyini q\u0131z\u0131na dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 na\u011f\u0131llardak\u0131 \u015fah q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131na yaza-yaza d\u00f6rd il ke\u00e7irdi. Bir g\u00fcn d\u0259, alt\u0131 ya\u015fl\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259n tutub k\u0259nd m\u0259kt\u0259binin he\u00e7 vaxt \u00f6rt\u00fclm\u0259y\u0259n d\u0259mir darvazas\u0131ndan i\u00e7\u0259ri girdi&#8230;<br><br>Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259r ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u201c5\u201d il\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki d\u0259rd k\u00f6lg\u0259si \u00f6l\u0259zidi, g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7oxald\u0131 anan\u0131n. D\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 \u201c\u0130lin \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 \u015fagirdi\u201d oldu F\u0259r\u0259h. Yetm\u0259di, rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zind\u0259ki olimpiadalardan diplomlarla, h\u0259diyy\u0259 kitablarla qay\u0131td\u0131 anas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131na. Anas\u0131 onun h\u0259r u\u011furunda \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc ill\u0259r \u0259vv\u0259l tar d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n da\u011f yamac\u0131na tutur, \u00fcr\u0259kl\u0259, f\u0259r\u0259hl\u0259 s\u0259sl\u0259nirdi:<ins><a href=\"https:\/\/smartbee.az\/az\/faq_Advetisers\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/smartbee.az\/az\/faq_Publishers\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/code.ainsyndication.com\/v2\/click.php?k=eNp1Uu9P2zAQ_VeifAJpTez8jqtpKhRRBExTy1ZtX1wiXCe5tKZOHOyE0k773-cElyGkqR96uee7e_fuUeLF5LdcIjGxFRddxkp7ykiYxsFUkZDYtDQp7KMk9XTSIzZrbR3ggNg4SRwv9B3Pi50UD9mE2M8M9jTnYE9zgnQqXCJ2KWrKGoPves6UQ4_Dp-7R0g289vOJve26VhHXPb1xXyAH6TagpMuajm2pnGyB88lB8H5SwoHxiQJaQqfTOcuf2JFNghB5-EuVF5yVn2_2syW-nNc_q6eXRhVJ1a-yW86Sb8ni-nJ_0W6EaI6yn2NYi3W27B5vguti_5CssuWiGHhpaVqQBTTdyJLYaPxHxC5E33TyMCo0CjP7NULeP6gQJfwXbGgNp16zI8icskc6qoT1GAkbJpq3R1qpC7pjQ5jqFqw7fIB6A5WshkbpUgM1PeenyW-Yuao5TyVkTbsP73W4pWo7hL4u9YMyjnKI4gKSqEqrCAXYq1wi8MFPyzJHZnqmaiq7HEZiei-jYKnarJf8wwhjlsW7MbiENIA4xh6NaULjEFWRT3EKKEd-EQb2qy-FMht4ntkanlkBXCezRkbD1dXyx9Uym83ny1ECXYn90MEJdjwUa9uGhnavQGacNhvTH5rJ95XhLqE6cffeWZQ7FS0gF2LnFKJ2T4ccO2lLG7sMLO7FkXFO3dBB1tmaNaXYK-vrg4WRg6aWTkTB1HqJgnNr1rYc1pDfss4N_djxI-vsdvFwf_fJ4mwH1jUUO3FuXW6lqMHFKHHQ8LNWtKKSmRL79ahMZbnoTlcedno2pJLBgrWe1Okr_fkLXCc3OJA,\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">\u018ftrafl\u0131<\/a><\/ins><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><a href=\"https:\/\/kulis.az\/xeber\/media\/fikret-emirov-bedii-senedli-filminin-teqdimati-olub-45071\">\u201cFikr\u0259t \u018fmirov\u201d b\u0259dii-s\u0259n\u0259dli filminin&nbsp;t\u0259qdimat\u0131 olub<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/kulis.az\/xeber\/media\/selim-babullaoglu-fealiyyetinin-50-illik-xeritesi-ferid-huseyn-yazir-44894\">S\u0259lim Babullao\u011flu f\u0259aliyy\u0259tinin 50 illik x\u0259rit\u0259si&nbsp;&#8211; F\u0259rid H\u00fcseyn yaz\u0131r&#8230;<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/kulis.az\/xeber\/media\/aqsin-yenisey-bu-seirler-qarabagda-ermenilerin-qetle-yetirdikleri-azerbaycanlilarin-eline-kecse-aciqlama-44580\">Aq\u015fin Yenisey:&nbsp;&#8220;Bu \u015feirl\u0259r Qaraba\u011fda erm\u0259nil\u0259rin q\u0259tl\u0259 yetirdikl\u0259ri az\u0259rbaycanl\u0131lar\u0131n \u0259lin\u0259 ke\u00e7s\u0259&#8230;&#8221;&nbsp;&#8211; A\u00e7\u0131qlama<\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; F\u0259r\u0259himiz yen\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00fcld\u00fcrd\u00fc, ay ged\u0259r-g\u0259lm\u0259zd\u0259ki&#8230;<br><br>El\u0259 ki, F\u0259r\u0259h 11-ci sinf\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131, anas\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259ki ah\u0259ng d\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fdi; indi onun s\u0259sind\u0259 umaca\u011f\u0131n qoynuna s\u0131\u011f\u0131nm\u0131\u015f \u0259minlik, bir az da t\u0259la\u015f vard\u0131:<br>-F\u0259r\u0259himiz m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259 olacaq, ne\u00e7\u0259-ne\u00e7\u0259 ail\u0259nin, evin f\u0259r\u0259hin\u0259 \u00e7evril\u0259c\u0259k, tumurcuqlara g\u00fcn i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ya\u011f\u0131\u015f suyunu \u00f6yr\u0259d\u0259c\u0259k&#8230; &#8211; deyirdi.<br><br>F\u0259r\u0259h anas\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259sind\u0259ki umaca\u011f\u0131n da, t\u0259la\u015f\u0131n da qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc borclu hiss edir: \u201cM\u00fctl\u0259q universitet\u0259 q\u0259bul olmal\u0131yam!\u201d &#8211; dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc.<br><br>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Oyunundan ba\u015f a\u00e7\u0131lmaz \u201cf\u0259l\u0259k\u201d insafa g\u0259lmi\u015fdi; F\u0259r\u0259h y\u00fcks\u0259k balla universitet\u0259 daxil oldu. Babalar\u0131 h\u0259r n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r:<br>&#8211; Q\u0131z\u0131 Bak\u0131ya bir ki\u015fi xeyla\u011f\u0131 aparsa, yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131r.-des\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259, ana ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bulam\u0131\u015f, ilk d\u0259f\u0259 a\u011fsaqqallar\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015f, sin\u0259sini ir\u0259li ver\u0259r\u0259k:<br>&#8211; U\u015fa\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcm aparaca\u011fam Bak\u0131ya. \u018fliml\u0259 yerl\u0259\u015fdirib, \u00fcr\u0259yi rahat da geri qay\u0131daca\u011fam.-demi\u015fdi.<br><br>Q\u0259lbiq\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131n q\u0259lbin\u0259 d\u0259ym\u0259mi\u015f, onunla raz\u0131la\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar&#8230;<br><br>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bir bazar g\u00fcn\u00fc s\u0259h\u0259r tezd\u0259n \u00e7atm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar Bak\u0131ya. Ana q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yataqxanas\u0131nda yerb\u0259yer etdikd\u0259n, g\u00f6r\u00fcb-g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcy\u00fc q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259rini verdikd\u0259n sonra el\u0259 h\u0259min ax\u015fam da k\u0259ndin yolunu tutmu\u015fdu. F\u0259r\u0259h b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc na\u011f\u0131l bildiyi \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 t\u0259k qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131&#8230; \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc uzun q\u0131\u015f gec\u0259sind\u0259 anas\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6yl\u0259diyi na\u011f\u0131llar\u0131n \u015fah q\u0131z\u0131 deyil, o q\u0131z\u0131n cibind\u0259ki s\u0259bir da\u015f\u0131 say\u0131r, susur, q\u0259h\u0259rini qorxusunun a\u011fz\u0131na yem kimi at\u0131rd\u0131. Otaqda \u00fc\u00e7 q\u0131z idil\u0259r, amma ham\u0131s\u0131 bir-birind\u0259n \u00fcrk\u0259k, bir-birind\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kinc\u0259n&#8230;<br><br>Universitetin ilk h\u0259ft\u0259si d\u0259 dumanl\u0131yd\u0131 onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn; a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259lm\u0259diyi t\u0259rzd\u0259 geyiml\u0259r, bahal\u0131 telefonlar, \u015f\u0259n-\u015faqraq s\u0259sl\u0259r, \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n \u0259min g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015fl\u0259r onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn b\u0259z\u0259n reall\u0131q olmaqan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, uzaq, \u0259l\u00e7atmaz x\u00fclyaya d\u00f6n\u00fcrd\u00fc. Ger\u00e7\u0259klikl\u0259 aras\u0131ndak\u0131 yegan\u0259 ba\u011f h\u0259r g\u00fcn ona z\u0259ng vuran, hal-\u0259hval tutan anas\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259si idi. Nam\u0259lumlu\u011fun duman\u0131nda azm\u0131\u015f kimi g\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00fcn dal\u0131nca s\u0131ralayan F\u0259r\u0259h bir h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259n sonra m\u0259hz bu ba\u011fdan yap\u0131\u015f\u0131b s\u0259mtini buldu: \u201cM\u0259n bu b\u00f6y\u00fck \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 oxuma\u011fa, anam\u0131n arzular\u0131n\u0131 realla\u015fd\u0131rma\u011fa g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m. Bu \u015f\u0259h\u0259rin, bu par\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131n a\u011fl\u0131m\u0131 \u0259limd\u0259n alma\u011f\u0131na imkan verm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m!\u201d &#8211; dey\u0259r\u0259k \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 s\u00f6z verdi v\u0259 s\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 d\u0259 durdu.<br><br>Q\u0259l\u0259b\u0259liy\u0259 qaynay\u0131b-qar\u0131\u015fa bilmirdi he\u00e7&#8230; Amma t\u0259klik d\u0259 a\u011f\u0131r y\u00fck idi bu q\u0259d\u0259r h\u0259mya\u015f\u0131d\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, onu \u0259sl\u0259n Qaraba\u011fdan olan, Bak\u0131da do\u011fulub, boya-ba\u015fa \u00e7atan Leylaya do\u011fru \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n d\u0259 m\u0259hz t\u0259kliyinin a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 idi, ya b\u0259lk\u0259, Leylan\u0131n sad\u0259liyi, g\u00fcl\u0259r\u00fczl\u00fcy\u00fc idi; F\u0259r\u0259h sonralar da bu s\u0259b\u0259bi axtarma\u011fa c\u0259hd etm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi.<br><br>&#8230;F\u0259r\u0259h birinci kursda oxuyanda ana babas\u0131, ikinci kursda oxuyanda is\u0259 ata babas\u0131 d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fdi. Bu, o dem\u0259k idi ki, anas\u0131 daha ona n\u0259\u011fd pul g\u00f6nd\u0259r\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi. Bayaq babalar\u0131n \u00f6z t\u0259qa\u00fcdl\u0259rind\u0259n ay\u0131rd\u0131qlar\u0131 pay indi he\u00e7 kimin ail\u0259sinin bo\u011faz\u0131ndan, \u0259ynind\u0259n artmayacaqd\u0131. Day\u0131lar da, \u0259mil\u0259r d\u0259 boyunlar\u0131ndak\u0131 k\u00fclf\u0259t boyunduru\u011funun alt\u0131nda \u0259zildiyini deyir, xalalar v\u0259 bibil\u0259rs\u0259 baxd\u0131qlar\u0131 \u201cyad o\u011flunun \u0259li\u201dnd\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259ri \u00f6z u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131nda g\u00fcc-b\u0259la b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc.<br>Birt\u0259h\u0259r ikinci kursu ba\u015fa vurdu F\u0259r\u0259h v\u0259 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 o yay k\u0259ndd\u0259ki evl\u0259rin\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rli qohumlar\u0131ndan he\u00e7 kim qonaq g\u0259lm\u0259di. Sentyabr\u0131n q\u0131z\u0131l\u0131 r\u0259ngind\u0259 anas\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki boz k\u0259d\u0259rin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bir t\u0259s\u0259lli \u015fal\u0131 atd\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; Ana, narahat olma, g\u00fcnortadan sonra i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n q\u0131zlar var universitetd\u0259. M\u0259n d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m. Oxuma\u011f\u0131m\u0131 yar\u0131m\u00e7\u0131q qoymayaca\u011fam, m\u00fc\u0259llim diplomuyla k\u0259nd\u0259 qay\u0131daca\u011fam &#8211; dey\u0259r\u0259k anas\u0131n\u0131n bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131na y\u00fckl\u0259n\u0259n \u00e7ar\u0259sizliyi azaltma\u011fa c\u0259hd etdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Amma c\u0259hdinin u\u011furla n\u0259tic\u0259l\u0259nib-n\u0259tic\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259diyini yoxlamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ikinci d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 anas\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 dikm\u0259y\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259ti \u00e7atmad\u0131&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<br>F\u0259r\u0259hi i\u015f\u0259 d\u00fcz\u0259ld\u0259n qrup yolda\u015f\u0131 Nihat oldu. O, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259nin yax\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 paltar ma\u011fazas\u0131na sat\u0131c\u0131 q\u0131z axtar\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 dedi v\u0259 F\u0259r\u0259hi d\u0259 yan\u0131na sal\u0131b ora yolland\u0131. D\u0259rsd\u0259n sonra paltar satmaqla minimum \u0259m\u0259k haqq\u0131 alaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bil\u0259n F\u0259r\u0259hin \u00fcr\u0259yi da\u011fa d\u00f6nd\u00fc, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 inam\u0131 daha da artd\u0131. Ert\u0259si g\u00fcn F\u0259r\u0259h yeni i\u015fi, bu i\u015fi ona Nihat\u0131n tapmas\u0131 haqq\u0131nda dan\u0131\u015fanda Leyla qa\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7atm\u0131\u015f:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; Nihat bir az, birt\u0259h\u0259r o\u011fland\u0131 ey&#8230; Onunla ehtiyatl\u0131 ol &#8211; demi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>F\u0259r\u0259h Nihatdan g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fc yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131q m\u00fcqabilind\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ona borclu san\u0131r, hiss etdiyi minn\u0259t Leylan\u0131n s\u00f6zl\u0259rinin alt\u0131nda ba\u015fqa m\u0259na axtarma\u011fa imkan vermirdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8230;G\u00fcn ke\u00e7dikc\u0259, F\u0259r\u0259h i\u015finin t\u0259kc\u0259 paltar satmaq deyil, eyni zamanda, ma\u011fazan\u0131 t\u0259mizl\u0259m\u0259k, paltarlar\u0131 manikenl\u0259r\u0259 geyindirib-soyundurmaq, q\u0131r\u0131\u015fan\u0131n\u0131 \u00fct\u00fcl\u0259m\u0259k, l\u0259k\u0259l\u0259n\u0259ni t\u0259mizl\u0259m\u0259k d\u0259 oldu\u011funu anlad\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu i\u015fl\u0259rin ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 yar\u0131m g\u00fcn\u0259 s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rmaq is\u0259 onu el\u0259 yorurdu ki, b\u0259z\u0259n ax\u015famlar kitab \u00fcz\u00fc a\u00e7ma\u011fa hal\u0131 qalm\u0131r, s\u0259h\u0259r d\u0259rs\u0259 haz\u0131rl\u0131qs\u0131z gedirdi. Bel\u0259c\u0259, ad\u0131 \u201c\u0259la\u00e7\u0131lar\u201d siyah\u0131s\u0131ndan \u201cz\u0259rb\u0259\u00e7il\u0259r\u201d siyah\u0131s\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Qrupun \u0259n \u201cvuran-tutan\u201d o\u011flanlar\u0131ndan biri hesab olunan Nihat is\u0259 g\u00fcnb\u0259g\u00fcn ona bir add\u0131m daha yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131r, b\u0259z\u0259n ax\u015famlar i\u015fd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xanda onu yataqxanayad\u0259k \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bel\u0259 g\u00fcnl\u0259rin birind\u0259 dayanacaqda avtobus g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259rk\u0259n Nihat ona dedi:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; B\u0259lk\u0259, bu ax\u015fam ged\u0259k bulvara, bir az d\u0259niz\u0259 baxaq, h\u0259?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ax\u015fam\u0131n alatoran\u0131nda d\u0259nizin mistikas\u0131 yaman c\u0259zb etdi F\u0259r\u0259hi. Yuxu t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259rini var g\u00fcc\u00fcyl\u0259 iri-iri a\u00e7d\u0131 v\u0259 Nihat\u0131n t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fcn sehrin\u0259 qap\u0131l\u0131b raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131. Bir az bulvarda g\u0259zi\u015fdil\u0259r, d\u0259niz\u0259 baxd\u0131lar, gitara \u00e7alan o\u011flan\u0131n oxudu\u011fu \u201cS\u0259ni \u0259v\u0259z el\u0259mir\u201d mahn\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259dalar\u0131 alt\u0131nda x\u0259yallara dald\u0131lar v\u0259&#8230; F\u0259r\u0259h bir d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc Da\u011f\u00fcst\u00fc parkda tapd\u0131. Ucal\u0131qdan Bak\u0131n\u0131n gec\u0259 m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259si qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda heyr\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc v\u0259 birc\u0259 k\u0259lm\u0259 bel\u0259 dem\u0259d\u0259n sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 X\u0259zriy\u0259 \u0259man\u0259t el\u0259di.<br>&#8211; D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm ki, bura s\u0259n\u0259 daha maraql\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, yan\u0131lmam\u0131\u015fam. \u2013 Nihat dodaqlar\u0131n\u0131 onun qulaqlar\u0131na yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131b p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Q\u0131z s\u0259ssizc\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131yla onun s\u00f6zl\u0259rini t\u0259sdiq etdi v\u0259 o\u011flan\u0131n boynunda hiss etdiyi n\u0259f\u0259sind\u0259n \u00fcrp\u0259n\u0259r\u0259k bir add\u0131m ondan uzaqla\u015fd\u0131. Amma Nihat \u0259l \u00e7\u0259km\u0259di, q\u0131z\u0131n \u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n yap\u0131\u015fd\u0131, onu \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f \u00e7evirdi v\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin i\u00e7in\u0259 baxaraq \u0259minlikl\u0259 s\u00f6z\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; F\u0259r\u0259h, s\u0259n m\u0259nim \u00e7ox xo\u015fuma g\u0259lirs\u0259n. \u018fg\u0259r hissl\u0259rim m\u0259ni yan\u0131ltm\u0131rsa, s\u0259nin d\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 n\u0259l\u0259rs\u0259 hiss etdiyini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>F\u0259r\u0259h utanaraq \u0259lini \u00e7\u0259kdi&#8230; H\u0259yat\u0131nda ilk d\u0259f\u0259 idi ki, bir o\u011flan onun \u0259lind\u0259n tutur, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 bel\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259tli s\u00f6zl\u0259r deyirdi. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 alma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015faraq \u00e7\u0259kinc\u0259nlikl\u0259 dedi:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>-Ev\u0259 getm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m&#8230;<br>-Yax\u015f\u0131, ged\u0259k. &#8211; Nihat qa\u015fqabaqla dedi v\u0259 o gec\u0259 yataqxanan\u0131n h\u0259y\u0259tin\u0259 \u00e7atanad\u0259k bir k\u0259lm\u0259 d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmad\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8230;H\u0259min g\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra F\u0259r\u0259h bacard\u0131qca Nihatdan uzaq durma\u011fa, onunla h\u0259ms\u00f6hb\u0259t olmama\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Amma Nihat tutdu\u011funu buraxana ox\u015fam\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259saf\u0259li, q\u0131t \u00fcnsiyy\u0259tl\u0259 ke\u00e7\u0259n iki h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259n sonra bir ax\u015fam F\u0259r\u0259h i\u015fd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131nca k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 Nihat il\u0259 rastla\u015fd\u0131. Q\u0131z a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7ma\u011fa imkan tapmadan Nihat q\u0259ti s\u0259sl\u0259:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; F\u0259r\u0259h, biz dan\u0131\u015fmal\u0131y\u0131q &#8211; dedi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yen\u0259 bulvara getdil\u0259r v\u0259 orada ke\u00e7irdikl\u0259ri ax\u015fam boyunca Nihat F\u0259r\u0259h\u0259 sevgi dolu s\u00f6zl\u0259r p\u0131\u00e7\u0131ldad\u0131, onsuz ya\u015faya bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yind\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k h\u0259yatlar\u0131 il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 xo\u015f, \u00fcr\u0259k titr\u0259d\u0259n v\u0259dl\u0259r verdi. Q\u0131z\u0131 yataqxanaya \u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259nd\u0259 is\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n \u0259min halda:<br>-S\u0259n\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn vaxt verir\u0259m, F\u0259r\u0259h. Fikirl\u0259\u015f, q\u0259rar\u0131n\u0131 ver. \u2013dedi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8230;\u00dc\u00e7 g\u00fcn\u00fcn tamam\u0131nda i\u015f yerinin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda Nihat\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259n F\u0259r\u0259h g\u00fcnl\u0259rdir duy\u011fular\u0131na, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259 hakim olan romantikan\u0131n m\u0259stliyiyl\u0259 ona hissl\u0259rinin qar\u015f\u0131l\u0131ql\u0131 oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u0259di. Ert\u0259si g\u00fcn is\u0259 art\u0131q qrupda ham\u0131 onlara \u201cqo\u015fa qumrular\u201d dey\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259t edirdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<br>Zamanla qo\u015fal\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259 k\u00f6lg\u0259 sald\u0131, k\u00fcsk\u00fcnl\u00fckl\u0259r d\u0259. Amma he\u00e7 biri iki sevgilinin bir-birin\u0259 dediyi sevgi s\u00f6zl\u0259rinin say\u0131n\u0131 azaltmad\u0131, ah\u0259ngini z\u0259ifl\u0259tm\u0259di. \u00dcst\u0259lik, F\u0259r\u0259h Nihat\u0131n ail\u0259sin\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259lmi\u015f mara\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da qism\u0259n doyurdu. Varl\u0131 ail\u0259nin yegan\u0259 \u00f6vlad\u0131 olan Nihat he\u00e7 vaxt yoxluq g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015f, ehtiyac\u0131n m\u0259ng\u0259n\u0259sind\u0259 s\u0131x\u0131lmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259, laz\u0131m bildiyi yerd\u0259 pul s\u0259p\u0259l\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcd etmirdi. D\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 F\u0259r\u0259h bunu ona irad tutmu\u015f, s\u00f6zl\u0259rinin aras\u0131na \u201cg\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k ail\u0259 b\u00fcdc\u0259miz\u201d ifad\u0259sini d\u0259 qatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Amma onun bu iradlar\u0131 yaln\u0131zca Nihat\u0131 g\u00fcld\u00fcrm\u0259y\u0259 yetmi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>D\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fc kursu bitirm\u0259y\u0259 az qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Albal\u0131 \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yi r\u0259ngind\u0259ki bir aprel ax\u015fam\u0131nda Nihat F\u0259r\u0259h\u0259 dedi:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; Anamgil rayona gedibl\u0259r. Bu ax\u015fam evd\u0259 t\u0259k\u0259m. V\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 bi\u015fir\u0259 bildiyim yegan\u0259 yem\u0259yi-souslu makaronu bi\u015firm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m. N\u0259 deyirs\u0259n? Yem\u0259yimin dad\u0131na bax\u0131b g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k ail\u0259mizd\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6m\u00e7\u0259ni \u0259lim\u0259 verm\u0259k bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259k ist\u0259yirs\u0259nmi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Q\u0131z\u0131n ruhunu \u00e7ul\u011falayan t\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcdd\u0259n xilas olma\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u201cg\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k ail\u0259miz\u201d s\u00f6zl\u0259ri yetmi\u015fdi. Bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 o\u011flandan qa\u00e7\u0131raraq nazla:<br>&#8211; Niy\u0259 d\u0259 yox? &#8211; dedi.<br><br>***<br>Ax\u015fam dey\u0259-g\u00fcl\u0259 souslu makaron yey\u0259n, romantik film\u0259 baxaraq gah g\u00fcl\u0259n, gah q\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259n\u0259n c\u00fctl\u00fck s\u0259h\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131landa bir-birinin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxmaqdan \u00e7\u0259kinirdil\u0259r. \u00c7\u00fcnki onlar Ad\u0259mi c\u0259nn\u0259td\u0259n eyl\u0259y\u0259n \u201calman\u0131n dad\u0131na baxm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar\u201d. D\u00fcn\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r F\u0259r\u0259h \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn sirr, sehr, anla\u015f\u0131lmaz olan bu dad indi a\u011fz\u0131nda o q\u0259d\u0259r ac\u0131l\u0131q yaratm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, be\u015f d\u0259qiq\u0259nin i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u0259ynini geyindi v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 atd\u0131&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0130lk bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u0259 F\u0259r\u0259h Nihatdan qa\u00e7\u0131r, onunla \u00fcz-\u00fcz\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Amma bir g\u00fcn f\u0259rqin\u0259 vard\u0131 ki, \u0259slind\u0259, qa\u00e7an, uzaqla\u015fan Nihatd\u0131r. O\u011flan onun telefonunu a\u00e7m\u0131r, mesajlar\u0131na cavab vermir, o, axtarmasa, g\u00fcnl\u0259rl\u0259 F\u0259r\u0259hi yada da salm\u0131rd\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar F\u0259r\u0259hi incidir, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6z g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n sal\u0131rd\u0131. T\u0259s\u0259llisi is\u0259 Nihat\u0131n yadda\u015f\u0131nda qalan sevgi dolu s\u0259si, dediyi \u201cg\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k ail\u0259miz\u201d k\u0259lm\u0259l\u0259ri idi. Bu inc\u0259, indic\u0259 qopdu-qopacaq t\u0259s\u0259lli ba\u011f\u0131ndan yap\u0131\u015faraq d\u0259rs ilini ba\u015fa vurdu. Diplomunu \u0259lin\u0259 al\u0131b k\u0259nd\u0259 qay\u0131tmazdan \u0259vv\u0259l c\u0259sar\u0259tini toplay\u0131b Nihat il\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmaq q\u0259rar\u0131na g\u0259ldi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>H\u0259yat\u0131n astar\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015f kimiydi. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 qap\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131nda F\u0259r\u0259hi g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259n Nihat yox, Nihat\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259n F\u0259r\u0259h vard\u0131. Yor\u011fun, bezgin g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n Nihat onun n\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259yini \u0259vv\u0259ld\u0259n k\u0259sdirmi\u015f kimi, q\u0131za a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7ma\u011fa imkan verm\u0259d\u0259n \u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcb-t\u00f6kd\u00fc. Etdiyi \u0259m\u0259lin yanl\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 alt\u0131nda \u0259zildiyini dedi, qar\u015f\u0131da onu g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259n \u0259sg\u0259rlikd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131. S\u00f6z\u00fc h\u0259rl\u0259yib-f\u0131rlay\u0131b yen\u0259 c\u00fcml\u0259l\u0259rinin sonuna bir \u201cxo\u015f v\u0259d\u201d etiketi yap\u0131\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; \u018fsg\u0259rlikd\u0259n g\u0259lim, \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259, ni\u015fan ed\u0259rik, sonra da toy. G\u0259l\u0259n ilin pay\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 bir yerd\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131lar\u0131q &#8211; dedi.<br>V\u0259 F\u0259r\u0259h onun bu s\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 el\u0259 inand\u0131, bu inam\u0131ndan da el\u0259 sar\u0131ld\u0131 ki, b\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fcnyan\u0131n a\u011f\u0131 qara, qaras\u0131 a\u011f olsayd\u0131, yen\u0259 d\u0259, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc a\u00e7maz, g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259zdi&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0130ki il idi ki, k\u0259nd m\u0259kt\u0259bind\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259llim idi F\u0259r\u0259h&#8230; Bu iki ilin h\u0259r g\u00fcn\u00fcnd\u0259, h\u0259tta h\u0259r an\u0131nda bel\u0259, taxta alaqap\u0131lar\u0131ndan i\u00e7\u0259ri gir\u0259n Nihat\u0131 x\u0259yal etmi\u015f, onu g\u00f6zl\u0259mi\u015fdi. \u00dcmid \u015fam\u0131n\u0131n i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 arada \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259 k\u00fcl\u0259yin\u0259 tab g\u0259tirm\u0259yib \u00f6l\u0259zis\u0259 d\u0259, F\u0259r\u0259h bu \u015fam\u0131 s\u00f6nm\u0259y\u0259 qoymur, k\u0259d\u0259rini, d\u0259rdini, pe\u015fmanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcmid p\u0259rd\u0259sinin arxas\u0131nda gizl\u0259dirdi. Di g\u0259l, \u00fcmidl\u0259ri, n\u0259inki, g\u00fcl a\u00e7maq, he\u00e7 q\u00f6n\u00e7\u0259l\u0259m\u0259k fikrind\u0259 d\u0259 deyildi&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ta ki, bir g\u00fcn r\u0259fiq\u0259si Leyla onu \u00f6z ni\u015fan\u0131na d\u0259v\u0259t etdi. S\u00f6zaras\u0131 demi\u015fdi ki, ni\u015fana b\u00fct\u00fcn qrup yolda\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259v\u0259t edib. Odur ki, bu Bak\u0131 s\u0259f\u0259ri F\u0259r\u0259h \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ikinci bir \u00fcmidi c\u00fcc\u0259rtmi\u015fdi: \u201cB\u0259lk\u0259, Nihat\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259 bildim&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ni\u015fan q\u0259\u015f\u0259ng ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. Amma F\u0259r\u0259hin \u00fcr\u0259yi s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131r, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc qap\u0131dan \u00e7\u0259k\u0259mmirdi: \u201cNihat g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k&#8230;\u201d Getdikc\u0259 bu \u0259minliyi bozarm\u0131\u015f, t\u00fcst\u00fc burumlar\u0131 kimi yoxa \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131; Nihat g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fdi&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Leyla o gec\u0259ni onlarda ke\u00e7irm\u0259yi t\u0259klif ed\u0259nd\u0259 F\u0259r\u0259h t\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcds\u00fcz raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131. \u0130lk f\u00fcrs\u0259td\u0259 d\u0259 Leylaya sual verdi:<br>&#8211; G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n, Nihat niy\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259di ni\u015fana?<br>&#8211; Hmmm&#8230;- Leyla a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fczd\u00fc &#8211; He\u00e7 g\u0259lm\u0259sin. Onsuz da, ondan \u00e7ox xo\u015fum g\u0259lmir. Sad\u0259c\u0259, g\u0259l\u0259n h\u0259ft\u0259 o\u011fluna ad g\u00fcn\u00fc ed\u0259c\u0259k, bir ay qabaqdan d\u0259v\u0259tnam\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259rib. M\u0259n d\u0259 dedim, g\u0259lsin ni\u015fan\u0131ma pul sals\u0131n, borclu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259si olmas\u0131n. Yax\u015f\u0131 oldu el\u0259 bir t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n, g\u0259lm\u0259di. M\u0259n d\u0259 getm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m onun o\u011flunun ad g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u0259. Getsin o yaltaqland\u0131\u011f\u0131 varl\u0131 qaynatas\u0131yla t\u0259k otursun restoranda!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Leyla bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri etinas\u0131z, adi bir \u015feyd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015f kimi demi\u015fdi. Amma F\u0259r\u0259h ill\u0259r \u0259vv\u0259l atas\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda qalan tar\u0131 \u00fcr\u0259yinin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 hiss el\u0259mi\u015f, h\u0259m \u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f, h\u0259m d\u0259 bo\u011fuldu\u011funu z\u0259nn etmi\u015fdi&#8230;<br>O ax\u015fam\u0131 ad\u0131n\u0131 qoya bilm\u0259diyi a\u011fr\u0131larla ke\u00e7irmi\u015fdi F\u0259r\u0259h. S\u0259h\u0259r is\u0259 art\u0131q o, \u0259vv\u0259lki \u015f\u0259n, ham\u0131n\u0131n hay\u0131na \u00e7atan, \u00fcn\u00fcn\u0259 yet\u0259n, u\u015faqlar\u0131n sevimlisi, mehriban, g\u00fcl\u0259r\u00fcz F\u0259r\u0259h m\u00fc\u0259llim deyildi. \u0130ndi onun yerind\u0259 bomboz bir k\u00f6lg\u0259 vard\u0131; \u00f6l\u0259n \u00fcmidl\u0259rin q\u0259bir da\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n upuzun k\u00f6lg\u0259l\u0259rinin birl\u0259\u015fdiyi k\u00f6lg\u0259.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>G\u00fcnortayad\u0259k Leyla d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 onu qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda oturtmu\u015f:<br>&#8211; F\u0259r\u0259h&#8230; N\u0259 d\u0259rdin var, de, s\u00f6yl\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259. N\u0259di s\u0259ni \u00fcz\u0259n? N\u0259di s\u0259ni i\u00e7in-i\u00e7in yey\u0259n? &#8211; demi\u015fdis\u0259 d\u0259, q\u0131z dodaqlar\u0131n\u0131 bir-birin\u0259 daha kip s\u0131xm\u0131\u015f, g\u00f6zl\u0259rini nam\u0259lumlu\u011fa zill\u0259mi\u015fdi&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u018friyirdi, yox olurdu F\u0259r\u0259h. O, anbaan \u00f6l\u00fcm\u0259 k\u00f6n\u00fcl verir, onun a\u011fu\u015funa at\u0131lmaq haqda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 qap\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131&#8230; Ax\u015fama t\u0259r\u0259f Leylan\u0131n israr\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda tab g\u0259tirm\u0259di, daxilind\u0259ki vulkan\u0131n yoxedici enerjisini-h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn r\u0259ngliliyini qaraya tabe ed\u0259n m\u0259\u015fum sirrini ona a\u00e7d\u0131. Leyla onu sakitc\u0259 dinl\u0259di&#8230; Bir ist\u0259di, a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b: \u201cM\u0259n demi\u015fdim&#8230;\u201d &#8211; desin, son anda q\u0259h\u0259ri buna da imkan verm\u0259di. B\u0259rab\u0259r a\u011flad\u0131lar iki r\u0259fiq\u0259 o ax\u015fam, gec\u0259ni s\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r dirig\u00f6zl\u00fc a\u00e7d\u0131lar. S\u0259h\u0259r is\u0259 Leyla F\u0259r\u0259hin \u0259ll\u0259rini tutub:<br>&#8211; Bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 qal. Getm\u0259 k\u0259nd\u0259 &#8211; dedi &#8211; Bilirs\u0259n d\u0259, qarda\u015f\u0131m Cavid psixoloqdu. S\u0259n\u0259 psixoloji d\u0259st\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r. A\u011fl\u0131ma ancaq bu, g\u0259lir. Bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 qal&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>F\u0259r\u0259h el\u0259 bur ruh hal\u0131ndayd\u0131 ki, n\u0259 raz\u0131la\u015fmaq, n\u0259 d\u0259 etiraz etm\u0259k haqda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fcrd\u00fc. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259krar yast\u0131\u011fa atd\u0131 v\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rini yar\u0131a\u00e7\u0131q p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n bir \u0259l\u00e7im maviliy\u0259 zill\u0259di. Leyla qap\u0131dan \u00e7\u0131xandan sonra is\u0259 bir daha anlad\u0131 ki, son \u00e7ar\u0259si \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u00fcr&#8230;<br><br>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pill\u0259l\u0259ri \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131qca m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259l\u0259ri say\u0131rd\u0131 F\u0259r\u0259h:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; 11&#8230; 13&#8230;<br><br>14-c\u00fc m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259 dayand\u0131. Yar\u0131qaranl\u0131q d\u0259hlizin sonundak\u0131 \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259 qap\u0131n\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131q oldu\u011fuu g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Ayaqlar\u0131 qeyri-iradi onu ora \u00e7\u0259kdi. Qap\u0131 ki\u00e7ik eyvana a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. Bu eyvanda n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131? G\u00f6zl\u0259rini zill\u0259diyi uzaqlarda n\u0259 vard\u0131? Bak\u0131n\u0131n irili-x\u0131rdal\u0131 binalar\u0131, h\u0259rd\u0259n-bird\u0259n g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n a\u011faclar\u0131 niy\u0259 get-ged\u0259 boz r\u0259ng\u0259 b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc ki? F\u0259r\u0259hin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259ri bu suallar\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 azm\u0131\u015fd\u0131&#8230; Azm\u0131\u015fd\u0131&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>M\u0259h\u0259cc\u0259rd\u0259n yap\u0131\u015f\u0131b a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 baxd\u0131. Uzaqda g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n asfalt\u0131n bozlu\u011fu daha cazib\u0259dar idi; b\u00fct\u00fcn bozlardan daha cazib\u0259dar&#8230; \u00d6l\u00fcm q\u0259d\u0259r cazib\u0259dar&#8230; F\u0259r\u0259h g\u00f6zl\u0259rini yumdu v\u0259 m\u0259h\u0259cc\u0259rd\u0259n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 \u0259yildi. Ayaqlar\u0131 yerd\u0259n \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc&#8230;Sa\u011f \u0259lini d\u0259 m\u0259h\u0259cc\u0259rd\u0259n aralad\u0131&#8230; Sol \u0259lini d\u0259&#8230; Arxadan belin\u0259 dolanan qollar onu geriy\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>G\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7anda ba\u015f\u0131 Leylan\u0131n qarda\u015f\u0131 Cavidin dizl\u0259ri \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ydi. V\u0259 Cavid g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259n axan ya\u015flar\u0131 gizl\u0259tm\u0259d\u0259n, \u201cki\u015fil\u0259r a\u011flamaz\u201d tabusunu eynin\u0259 almadan p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131rd\u0131:<br>&#8211; Bilir\u0259m h\u0259r \u015feyi&#8230; Bilir\u0259m, F\u0259r\u0259h. V\u0259 s\u0259ni q\u0131nam\u0131ram&#8230; Dey\u0259c\u0259yim birc\u0259 s\u00f6z var: S\u0259hv etm\u0259k ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n haqq\u0131d\u0131r. O s\u0259hvin c\u0259zas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259kd\u0259 d\u0259 haql\u0131y\u0131q&#8230; \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc c\u0259zaland\u0131rma\u011f\u0131m\u0131z da halal haqq\u0131m\u0131zd\u0131r. Amma \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolu he\u00e7 vaxt intihar deyil. Anlad\u0131nm\u0131, F\u0259r\u0259h? Probleml\u0259r h\u0259yat d\u00fcsturunun m\u0259chuluna \u00e7evril\u0259nd\u0259 intihar h\u0259ll yolu deyil&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kulis.az &#8220;\u0130lin hekay\u0259si&#8221; m\u00fcsabiq\u0259sind\u0259 i\u015ftirak ed\u0259n S\u0259ad\u0259t H\u0259bibq\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n &#8220;\u0130ntihar h\u0259ll yolu deyil&#8221;hekay\u0259sini t\u0259qdim edir. Ucqar da\u011f k\u0259ndinin sa\u011f qanad\u0131nda yerl\u0259\u015f\u0259n, xudmani, ki\u00e7ik bir evi dekabr\u0131n soyu\u011funda sevinc s\u0259sl\u0259ri isitmi\u015fdi. G\u0259nc ail\u0259nin be\u015f ild\u0259n sonra ilk \u00f6vlad\u0131 d\u00fcnyayla salamla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Babalar quda olandan bu yana ilk d\u0259f\u0259 bir-birl\u0259rinin g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin i\u00e7in\u0259 dik baxm\u0131\u015f, bira\u011f\u0131zdan:&#8211; Q\u0131z\u0131n ad\u0131 F\u0259r\u0259h olsun! 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