{"id":46697,"date":"2023-06-16T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-06-16T02:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=46697"},"modified":"2023-06-16T08:45:05","modified_gmt":"2023-06-16T04:45:05","slug":"%c9%99h%c9%99dova-nuray-dord-yasimi-unuda-bilmir%c9%99m","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=46697","title":{"rendered":"\u018fH\u018fDOVA NURAY – D\u00d6RD YA\u015eIMI UNUDA B\u0130LM\u0130R\u018fM"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Yen\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m, \u0259zizim. El\u0259 h\u0259min yerd\u0259y\u0259m. Xat\u0131rlay\u0131ram. O g\u00fcn\u00fc, bax\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131, \u0259ll\u0259rimi nec\u0259 m\u00f6hk\u0259m tutdu\u011fun anlar\u0131, anam\u0131n s\u0259ssiz f\u0259ryad\u0131n\u0131, babam\u0131n ilk d\u0259f\u0259 diz \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

 Unuda bilmir\u0259m. \u0130ll\u0259r ke\u00e7s\u0259 bel\u0259. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r yoxlu\u011funu bu q\u0259d\u0259r hiss etmirdim. Amma indi h\u0259r add\u0131m\u0131mda ka\u015f ki, s\u0259n olsayd\u0131n deyir\u0259m. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0Unuda bilmir\u0259m. S\u0259ninl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 xat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00e7ox \u015fey var. \u018fn \u00e7ox is\u0259 o g\u00fcn… O g\u00fcn zehnimd\u0259n he\u00e7 silinmir.<\/a>
\u00a0Evimizin \u00f6n\u00fcnd\u0259 a\u011f tut a\u011fac\u0131 vard\u0131. H\u0259r zaman oldu\u011fu kimi ona do\u011fru uzan\u0131rd\u0131q. \u018fll\u0259rimiz yeti\u015fmirdi. Ax\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259 \u00e7ox balacayd\u0131q. N\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131z vard\u0131 ki, bizim?
\u00a0\u00dc\u00e7 ya\u015f\u0131n vard\u0131 h\u0259\u0259?! \u018fll\u0259rin, bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n, \u00fcz\u00fcn zehnimd\u0259 bulan\u0131qd\u0131r art\u0131q. \u018flimd\u0259 tutub doyunca siman\u0131 \u0259zb\u0259r ed\u0259c\u0259k bir \u015f\u0259klin bel\u0259 yoxdur. \u018fn ac\u0131s\u0131 bu ola bil\u0259r. Uzanmaq ist\u0259din, ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131rmaq ist\u0259din. Hardan bil\u0259rdin ki, tanr\u0131 s\u0259ni \u0259n uca qat\u0131na qald\u0131racaq?
\u00a0Yan\u0131mdayd\u0131n. A\u011f tut d\u0259n\u0259l\u0259rini \u0259lin\u0259 alanda \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 g\u00fcll\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131. Sonra zehnimd\u0259 bir bulan\u0131ql\u0131q canlan\u0131r. Sonra azca bel\u0259 olsa xat\u0131rlay\u0131ram \u0259ll\u0259rimi tutmu\u015fdun. S\u0259sl\u0259r, t\u0259\u015fvi\u015fl\u0259r g\u0259lir g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcn\u0259. \u00dcr\u0259yimin d\u00f6y\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 hiss edir\u0259m. Q\u0259rib\u0259dir, d\u00fczd\u00fcr. Amma unuda bilmir\u0259m. O ac\u0131 el\u0259 d\u0259rindi ki, m\u0259n h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 inana bilmir\u0259m. \u00dcmid edirdim ki, s\u0259n d\u00f6n\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n. Sonra yenid\u0259n tut a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131na g\u0259ldim. Anam\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Quca\u011f\u0131nda s\u0259n vard\u0131n. O an sevindim, yoxsa \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcm, xat\u0131rlam\u0131ram. Yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131m s\u0259n\u0259 do\u011fru. \u0130nsanlar toplanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Onlar\u0131n aras\u0131ndan babam\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. M\u0259nim u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n \u0259n \u0259v\u0259zsiz, \u0259n sevgi dolu par\u00e7as\u0131, m\u0259nim v\u00fcqarl\u0131 da\u011f\u0131m, dizl\u0259ri \u00fcst\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u0130nana bilmirdim. Hans\u0131 \u0259dal\u0259t\u0259 s\u0131\u011fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 s\u0259nin gedi\u015fin? \u0130ll\u0259rl\u0259 buna cavab axtard\u0131m. Kims\u0259 cavab\u0131n\u0131 verm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Zehnimd\u0259 ill\u0259rl\u0259 dola\u015fan o s\u0259hn\u0259ni unuda bilmir\u0259m. Sonra bir g\u00fcn d\u00f6z\u0259 bilm\u0259dim. Day\u0131mla s\u00f6hb\u0259t etm\u0259k ist\u0259dim. \u201cDan\u0131\u015fanda o s\u0259nin qarda\u015f\u0131nd\u0131\u201d dedi. Suda bo\u011fuldu. N\u0259 \u0259c\u0259b s\u0259n\u0259 bunu dan\u0131\u015fmay\u0131b evd\u0259kil\u0259r, dey\u0259 sual verdi. Cavabs\u0131zd\u0131m. \u018fn ac\u0131s\u0131 el\u0259 ad\u0131n\u0131 da o g\u00fcn \u00f6yr\u0259ndim. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 bilirs\u0259n, n\u0259l\u0259r ya\u015fad\u0131m? Ad\u0131n, \u00fcz\u00fcn, g\u00f6zl\u0259rin unudulmu\u015fdu. Amma \u0259ll\u0259rimi nec\u0259 tutdu\u011fun, s\u0259ni nec\u0259 itirdiyim unudulmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131.
\u00a0Sonradan n\u0259n\u0259m bac\u0131mla qarda\u015f\u0131ma \u00a0s\u0259ni n\u0259ql etdi. S\u0259n dem\u0259, su arx\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131na g\u0259lmis\u0259n. Su motorunu r\u0259ngli g\u00f6r\u00fcb meyl salm\u0131san. Sonra da nec\u0259s\u0259 suya y\u0131x\u0131lm\u0131san. Dilim\u0259 almaq, yazmaq bel\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yimi b\u0131\u00e7aqla k\u0259sir sanki.
\u00a0Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il \u00f6nc\u0259 anam \u0259lind\u0259 bir s\u00fcfr\u0259 g\u0259tirdi.\u00c7ox uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t ba\u011fl\u0131 qald\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn toz basm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc. Anid\u0259n onu qald\u0131randa \u015f\u0259kill\u0259rin s\u0259p\u0259l\u0259ndi. Bir d\u0259 papa\u011f\u0131n d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc yer\u0259. \u00dcz\u00fcn\u0259 bel\u0259 baxa bilm\u0259dim. Anam tez toplay\u0131b otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Ka\u015f ki, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 bir d\u0259f\u0259 baxa bils\u0259ydim, deyir\u0259m. Ka\u015f ki, anam s\u0259nd\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 uzun-uzun dan\u0131\u015fsayd\u0131, deyir\u0259m. \u018fvv\u0259l onu q\u0131nay\u0131rd\u0131m. Amma indi q\u0131naya bilmir\u0259m. Onun q\u0259lbind\u0259 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r xatir\u0259 gizlidir, kim bilir?
\u00a0\u018fn son babam\u0131 itir\u0259nd\u0259 m\u0259zarl\u0131\u011fa getmi\u015fdim m\u0259n. Onun da yoxlu\u011funu q\u0259bul ed\u0259 bilmirdim. Amma bu il g\u0259ldim m\u0259zar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259. Toxundum torpa\u011f\u0131na. Solmu\u015f g\u00fcll\u0259ri yenil\u0259dim. Getm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdim yan\u0131ndan. \u00c7\u00fcnki ill\u0259r sonra ilk d\u0259f\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259t edib yan\u0131na g\u0259lmi\u015fdim.
\u00a0\u0130ll\u0259r ke\u00e7s\u0259 bel\u0259, h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0259bul ed\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. S\u0259n m\u0259nim t\u0259kc\u0259 d\u00f6rd ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131n ac\u0131 xatir\u0259si olmad\u0131n. B\u00fct\u00fcn u\u011furlar\u0131m\u0131, \u0259ld\u0259 etdiyim h\u0259r \u015feyi s\u0259nin ad\u0131na qazand\u0131m. Cismin yoxdur. Amma ruhun, ad\u0131n, xatir\u0259l\u0259rin m\u0259niml\u0259dir. Biz bir g\u00fcn m\u00fctl\u0259q qovu\u015faca\u011f\u0131q.
Q\u0131zlar\u0131n ilk sevgisi atas\u0131 olur deyirl\u0259r. M\u0259nim ilk sevgim s\u0259n oldun! S\u0259ni sevir\u0259m, m\u0259nim balaca m\u0259l\u0259yim!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0259nb\u0259: https:\/\/edebiyyat.az\/<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Yen\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m, \u0259zizim. El\u0259 h\u0259min yerd\u0259y\u0259m. Xat\u0131rlay\u0131ram. O g\u00fcn\u00fc, bax\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131, \u0259ll\u0259rimi nec\u0259 m\u00f6hk\u0259m tutdu\u011fun anlar\u0131, anam\u0131n s\u0259ssiz f\u0259ryad\u0131n\u0131, babam\u0131n ilk d\u0259f\u0259 diz \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc…   Unuda bilmir\u0259m. \u0130ll\u0259r ke\u00e7s\u0259 bel\u0259. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r yoxlu\u011funu bu q\u0259d\u0259r hiss etmirdim. Amma indi h\u0259r add\u0131m\u0131mda ka\u015f ki, s\u0259n olsayd\u0131n deyir\u0259m.  \u00a0Unuda bilmir\u0259m. S\u0259ninl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 xat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00e7ox \u015fey var. \u018fn \u00e7ox is\u0259 o g\u00fcn… […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-46697","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pub"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46697","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=46697"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46697\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46701,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46697\/revisions\/46701"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=46697"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=46697"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=46697"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}