{"id":51517,"date":"2026-06-13T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-06-13T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=51517"},"modified":"2026-06-13T17:23:10","modified_gmt":"2026-06-13T13:23:10","slug":"51517","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=51517","title":{"rendered":"Xan\u0131m ANELA.”D\u018fL\u0130 M\u018fL\u018fK”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Az\u0259rbaycan Yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131lar Birliyinin \u00fczv\u00fc, Az\u0259rbaycan\u0131n M\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259t v\u0259 \u018fd\u0259biyyat Portal\u0131n\u0131n Ba\u015f redaktoru.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

G\u00fcn\u00fcn \u0259n \u00e7ox sevdiyi vaxt\u0131 s\u00fcbh \u00e7a\u011f\u0131 idi. Lal\u0259 \u2013 \u0259slind\u0259 is\u0259 Lal\u0259z\u0259r \u2013 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n t\u0259miz an\u0131 m\u0259hz gec\u0259 il\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u00fcz\u00fcn aras\u0131ndak\u0131 o q\u0131sa ke\u00e7iddir. H\u0259l\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259r tam oyanmay\u0131b, insanlar evl\u0259rind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa t\u0259l\u0259smir, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259r g\u00fcn\u00fcn yor\u011funlu\u011funu v\u0259 s\u0259s-k\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259yib.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yuxudan oyanan kimi yataqdan qalxma\u011fa t\u0259l\u0259sm\u0259zdi. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259qiq\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rini tavana zill\u0259y\u0259r, sonra i\u00e7ind\u0259n sakitc\u0259 \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr ed\u0259rdi. N\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 etdiyini \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 tam bilm\u0259zdi. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 sad\u0259c\u0259 oyand\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259. Ya\u015f artd\u0131qca insan ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr ki, h\u0259r yeni g\u00fcn\u0259 oyanmaq \u0259slind\u0259 o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 adi hadis\u0259 deyil.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yuxar\u0131 m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259 ya\u015fayan ya\u015fl\u0131 ki\u015finin namaz q\u0131lark\u0259n oxudu\u011fu dualar\u0131n asta s\u0259das\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n i\u00e7\u0259ri dolur, h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 yeni oyanan qu\u015flar\u0131n cikkiltisi il\u0259 qar\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Bu s\u0259sl\u0259rd\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 bir ah\u0259ng vard\u0131. Sanki biri g\u00f6y\u0259, dig\u0259ri yer\u0259 aid idi, amma h\u0259r ikisi eyni h\u0259qiq\u0259td\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259r verirdi \u2013 h\u0259yat davam edir.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lal\u0259 bel\u0259 anlar\u0131 sevirdi. Daha \u00e7ox sakitliyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 h\u0259r halda. S\u0259sl\u0259r\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 h\u0259ssasl\u0131\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131. T\u0259kc\u0259 s\u0259sl\u0259r\u0259 yox, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259 d\u00fcnyaya qar\u015f\u0131 h\u0259ssas idi. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n \u00e7oxu h\u0259yat\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259n ke\u00e7ib gedirdi, o is\u0259 h\u0259r \u015feyi h\u0259r k\u0259sd\u0259n bir az art\u0131q hiss edirdi. \u0130\u015f\u0131qlar ona ba\u015fqalar\u0131ndan daha parlaq g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc, qoxular daha k\u0259skin g\u0259lirdi, s\u0259sl\u0259r is\u0259 b\u0259z\u0259n beyninin i\u00e7ind\u0259 bir-birin\u0259 d\u0259yib q\u0131r\u0131lan \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259l\u0259rin cingiltisin\u0259 \u00e7evrilirdi. H\u0259kiml\u0259r buna sensor y\u00fckl\u0259nm\u0259 deyirdil\u0259r. \u018ftrafdak\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn hissl\u0259rin eyni anda insan\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259si. Bir u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n a\u011flamas\u0131, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259n ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n siqnal\u0131, kimins\u0259 ucadan dan\u0131\u015fmas\u0131, ma\u011fazan\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lan kimi \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 yay\u0131lan \u0259tir qoxusu, reklam l\u00f6vh\u0259l\u0259rinin g\u00f6z qama\u015fd\u0131ran i\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131, h\u0259tta insanlar\u0131n \u00e7oxunun f\u0259rqin\u0259 bel\u0259 varmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 floresan lampalar\u0131n z\u0259if u\u011fultusu onun beynind\u0259 bir-birin\u0259 qar\u0131\u015faraq el\u0259 bir y\u00fck\u0259 \u00e7evrilirdi ki, b\u0259z\u0259n hans\u0131 hissin haradan g\u0259ldiyini ay\u0131rd ed\u0259 bilmirdi. B\u0259z\u0259n ona el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, beyninin qap\u0131lar\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q qal\u0131b v\u0259 d\u00fcnya i\u00e7\u0259riy\u0259 n\u0259yi varsa t\u00f6k\u00fcr. Yorulurdu \u2013 sanki g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259n bir y\u00fck \u00e7iyinl\u0259rin\u0259 qoyulur, n\u0259f\u0259s almaq bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinl\u0259\u015firdi. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xmazdan \u0259vv\u0259l qulaql\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 taxard\u0131. \u0130nsanlar musiqi dinl\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn qulaql\u0131qdan istifad\u0259 edirdil\u0259r, Lal\u0259 is\u0259 d\u00fcnyan\u0131 bir az azaltmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lal\u0259… \u018fslind\u0259, ad\u0131n\u0131 da sevmirdi. Lal\u0259z\u0259r ona h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 bir q\u0259d\u0259r a\u011f\u0131r, bir q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 yad g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 ham\u0131ya \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc Lal\u0259 kimi t\u0259qdim edirdi. Bununla bel\u0259 ad\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fdirm\u0259y\u0259 q\u0131ymazd\u0131. Bu ad\u0131 atas\u0131 qoymu\u015fdu v\u0259 onun fikrinc\u0259 insan b\u0259z\u0259n sevm\u0259diyi \u015feyl\u0259ri bel\u0259 qoruyub saxlamaq m\u0259cburiyy\u0259tind\u0259dir, \u00e7\u00fcnki onlar\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 art\u0131q h\u0259yatda olmayan, amma xatir\u0259si ya\u015fayan adamlar\u0131n izi var.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Qorxular\u0131 da \u00e7ox idi Lal\u0259nin. Avtomobil s\u00fcrm\u0259kd\u0259n qorxurdu, m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, amma bu qorxu \u00f6z h\u0259yat\u0131 il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 deyildi. S\u00fckan arxas\u0131nda olark\u0259n bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 kim\u0259s\u0259 z\u0259r\u0259r ver\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259yi ehtimal\u0131 onu narahat edirdi. D\u0259nizd\u0259n qorxurdu. U\u015faql\u0131qda az qala bo\u011fuldu\u011fu g\u00fcnd\u0259n b\u0259ri. Qapal\u0131 m\u0259kanlardan qorxurdu. <\/em>Buna baxmayaraq ill\u0259rl\u0259 metrodan istifad\u0259 edir, lift\u0259 minir, qorxusunu he\u00e7 kim\u0259 hiss etdirm\u0259d\u0259n h\u0259yat\u0131na davam edirdi. Bu qorxular\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131 vard\u0131 v\u0259 o, ill\u0259r \u0259rzind\u0259 onlarla ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131 \u00f6yr\u0259nmi\u015fdi. Amma biri vard\u0131 ki, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r zaman ke\u00e7s\u0259 d\u0259 onunla bar\u0131\u015fa bilmirdi<\/em> \u2013 d<\/em>\u0259li olmaq qorxusu.<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu qorxunun haradan g\u0259ldiyini \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 bilmirdi. <\/em>\u0130nsan ad\u0259t\u0259n qorxusunun s\u0259b\u0259bini tan\u0131y\u0131r. Hans\u0131sa hadis\u0259, hans\u0131sa xatir\u0259, hans\u0131sa a\u011fr\u0131 onun k\u00f6k\u00fcnd\u0259 dayan\u0131r. Lal\u0259 is\u0259 bu qorxunun ilk d\u0259f\u0259 n\u0259 vaxt yaran<\/em>d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131<\/em> xat\u0131rlaya bilmirdi. Sad\u0259c\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnd\u0259n onunla birlikd\u0259 ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. B\u0259z\u0259n gec\u0259l\u0259r yata bilm\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 bu bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u0130nsan a\u011fl\u0131n\u0131 itir\u0259nd\u0259 \u0259slind\u0259 n\u0259 ba\u015f verir? Yadda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 itirir, yoxsa \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc? \u00c7\u00fcnki yadda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 itir\u0259n adam yen\u0259 d\u0259 sev\u0259, k\u0259d\u0259rl\u0259n\u0259, kimins\u0259 \u0259lini tutanda rahatl\u0131q hiss ed\u0259 bil\u0259r. B\u0259s \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc itir\u0259n insan nec\u0259? \u0130nsan \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b hara gedir? V\u0259 gerid\u0259 n\u0259 qal\u0131r? Onu qorxudan m\u0259hz bu suallar idi. \u00d6l\u00fcm he\u00e7 vaxt ona bu q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259mi\u015fdi. \u00d6l\u00fcm son<\/em> idi<\/em>. D\u0259lilik is\u0259 sonlu\u011fu olmayan bir itki kimi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc ona; insan\u0131n h\u0259yatda qala-qala \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n uzaqla\u015fmas\u0131, h\u0259r g\u00fcn bir az da \u00f6z i\u00e7ind\u0259n silinm\u0259si kimi.<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Art\u0131q otuz ya\u015f\u0131 vard\u0131 v\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 ail\u0259 qurmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bunun s\u0259b\u0259bini soru\u015fanlara m\u00fcxt\u0259lif cavablar verirdi. B\u0259z\u0259n vaxt\u0131n\u0131n olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 deyirdi, b\u0259z\u0259n uy\u011fun insanla qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, b\u0259z\u0259n d\u0259 sad\u0259c\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259sm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259diyini. Amma \u00f6z\u00fc bilirdi ki, h\u0259qiq\u0259t bunlar\u0131n he\u00e7 biri deyil. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b qorxular\u0131 idi. O, a\u015fiq olmaqdan da \u00e7\u0259kinirdi. \u00c7\u00fcnki ona el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, h\u0259qiqi e\u015fq insan\u0131n irad\u0259sini \u0259lind\u0259n al\u0131r, onu \u00f6z\u00fc olmamaq h\u0259ddin\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259yi\u015fdirir. Sev\u0259n adam sevdiyi insan haqq\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr, onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dar\u0131x\u0131r, onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn narahat olur, onunla sevinir, onunla k\u0259d\u0259rl\u0259nir. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar is\u0259 Lal\u0259y\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 bir az d\u0259liliyi xat\u0131rlad\u0131rd\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 buna g\u00f6r\u0259 sevgi il\u0259 d\u0259lilik aras\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259n bir ba\u011f g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anas\u0131ndan ba\u015fqa da dem\u0259k olar ki, he\u00e7 k\u0259si yox idi.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Novruz bayram\u0131 \u0259r\u0259f\u0259sind\u0259 anas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131na, k\u0259nd\u0259 getmi\u015fdi. \u201cQara bayram\u201d deyil\u0259n g\u00fcnd\u0259 is\u0259 babas\u0131 il\u0259 n\u0259n\u0259sinin q\u0259brini ziyar\u0259t etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn birlikd\u0259 q\u0259biristanl\u0131\u011fa yolland\u0131lar.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Babas\u0131 il\u0259 n\u0259n\u0259sinin m\u0259zarlar\u0131n\u0131n yax\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda balaca u\u015faq q\u0259brini xat\u0131rladan bir m\u0259zar diqq\u0259tini \u00e7\u0259kdi.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Bu kimin q\u0259bridir?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Hans\u0131? \u2013 anas\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sil\u0259r\u0259k \u00e7evrildi. Lal\u0259nin g\u00f6st\u0259rdiyi m\u0259zara bax\u0131b dedi: \u2013 M\u0259l\u0259yin. D\u0259li M\u0259l\u0259yin.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 N\u0259? D\u0259li M\u0259l\u0259k \u00f6l\u00fcb?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 ay olar… Yaz\u0131q lap balacala\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. U\u015faq kimi olmu\u015fdu ax\u0131r vaxtlar…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lal\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259di. Yava\u015fca yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b m\u0259zar\u0131n yan\u0131nda \u00e7\u00f6m\u0259ldi.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 D\u0259li M\u0259l\u0259k… \u00d6l\u00fcb?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 O n\u0259 s\u00f6zd\u00fcr, ay bala? \u00d6l\u00fcm \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u00fcr d\u0259.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lal\u0259 susdu. Q\u0259rib\u0259 hissl\u0259r ke\u00e7irirdi. N\u0259 ba\u015f verdiyini \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 tam anlaya bilmirdi. El\u0259 bil uzun ill\u0259rdir ba\u011fl\u0131 qalan bir qap\u0131 q\u0259fil a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131 h\u0259min qap\u0131n\u0131n arxas\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Balacaboy, ba\u015f\u0131nda h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 qara, ya da qaramt\u0131l yayl\u0131q olan, k\u00f6hn\u0259 donunun \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n uzun g\u00f6y\u00fcmt\u00fcl penc\u0259k geyin\u0259n D\u0259li M\u0259l\u0259k…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yayl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndan a\u011f bir\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259ri g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259rdi. K\u0259ndin u\u015faqlar\u0131 onu g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 da\u015f atar, \u201cD\u0259li M\u0259l\u0259k! D\u0259li M\u0259l\u0259k!\u201d deyib arxas\u0131nca q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rard\u0131lar. O da \u0259lind\u0259ki \u00e7omaqla onlar\u0131n dal\u0131nca d\u00fc\u015f\u0259rdi. Lal\u0259 is\u0259 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r qorxsa da, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 onun yan\u0131ndan ke\u00e7\u0259rdi.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 N\u0259t\u0259rs\u0259n, n\u0259n\u0259?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0259l\u0259k b\u0259z\u0259n cavab ver\u0259r, b\u0259z\u0259n \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 n\u0259l\u0259rs\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fard\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir d\u0259f\u0259 penc\u0259yinin cibind\u0259n nan\u0259li konfet \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b ona uzatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Lal\u0259 t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr edib konfeti g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f, ev\u0259 qay\u0131dan kimi ba\u011fda torpa\u011fa basd\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. U\u015faq a\u011fl\u0131 il\u0259 el\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ki, h\u0259min konfeti yey\u0259n adam m\u00fctl\u0259q d\u0259li olar.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u018fslind\u0259 M\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 salam verm\u0259sinin s\u0259b\u0259bi sad\u0259c\u0259 m\u0259rh\u0259m\u0259t deyildi, h\u0259m d\u0259 maraq idi. Onu yax\u0131ndan g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. Tez-tez sa\u011fa-sola qa\u00e7an g\u00f6zl\u0259rini, \u0259s\u0259n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131, dodaqlar\u0131n\u0131n k\u0259nar\u0131nda yaranan q\u0259rib\u0259 cizgil\u0259ri, he\u00e7 kimin s\u0259sin\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259m\u0259y\u0259n s\u0259sini e\u015fitm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 eyni suallar\u0131 verirdi: niy\u0259 ail\u0259si yoxdur? Haradan g\u0259lib? Niy\u0259 k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 yat\u0131r? Niy\u0259 d\u0259li olub?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Babas\u0131 bir d\u0259f\u0259 demi\u015fdi ki, M\u0259l\u0259yin haradan g\u0259ldiyini he\u00e7 kim bilmir. Amma bir \u015feyi ham\u0131 bilir \u2013 M\u0259l\u0259yin \u00fcr\u0259yi \u00e7ox t\u0259mizdir. Bununla ba\u011fl\u0131 bir hadis\u0259 d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 h\u0259tta. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 yay vaxt\u0131 sah\u0259d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259rk\u0259n g\u00fcnorta istisind\u0259n ham\u0131 \u0259ld\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcbm\u00fc\u015f. Bird\u0259n M\u0259l\u0259k haradansa peyda olub. \u018flind\u0259 k\u00f6hn\u0259 \u00e7aydan, qoltu\u011funda bir ne\u00e7\u0259 st\u0259kan varm\u0131\u015f. He\u00e7 kim ondan he\u00e7 n\u0259 ist\u0259m\u0259mi\u015fdi. Sakitc\u0259 g\u0259lib \u00e7ay\u0131 s\u00fcz\u00fcb i\u015f\u00e7il\u0259rin qaba\u011f\u0131na qoymu\u015fdu. Sonra da he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259d\u0259n uzaqla\u015f\u0131b getmi\u015fdi.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA\u011fl\u0131 yerind\u0259 deyil, amma bir \u00e7oxlar\u0131nda olmayan \u00fcr\u0259k var onda.\u201d \u2013 demi\u015fdi babas\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0259l\u0259yi n\u0259 zaman g\u00f6rs\u0259 ya ondan s\u00f6z d\u00fc\u015fs\u0259 m\u0259hz bu c\u00fcml\u0259ni xat\u0131rlayard\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dcr\u0259yi bu q\u0259d\u0259r t\u0259miz olan adam niy\u0259 a\u011fl\u0131n\u0131 itirmi\u015fdi b\u0259s?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130ll\u0259r sonra onun m\u0259zar\u0131n\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda dayananda da beynind\u0259 yen\u0259 h\u0259min c\u00fcml\u0259 v\u0259 h\u0259min sual dola\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015e\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 qay\u0131dandan sonra uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yer tapa bilm\u0259di. Yay g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Havalar isinmi\u015fdi. H\u0259r \u015fey \u0259vv\u0259lki kimi idi, amma n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc \u0259vv\u0259lki kimi deyildi. Evd\u0259n i\u015f\u0259, i\u015fd\u0259n ev\u0259 ke\u00e7\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259rin aras\u0131na uzun g\u0259zintil\u0259r daxil olmu\u015fdu. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r qa\u00e7d\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerl\u0259rd\u0259 bir az art\u0131q dayan\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130nsanlarla dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259tta b\u0259z\u0259n qulaql\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259nin s\u0259sini dinl\u0259yirdi.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

D\u0259li M\u0259l\u0259yin m\u0259zar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fc g\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra i\u00e7ind\u0259 n\u0259ins\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fdiyini hiss edirdi. U\u015faql\u0131qdan g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fctd\u00fcy\u00fc, haqq\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259kd\u0259n bel\u0259 qorxdu\u011fu bir taleyin sonunda sad\u0259c\u0259 bir insan\u0131n dayand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. D\u0259li M\u0259l\u0259k art\u0131q onun t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr\u00fcnd\u0259ki qorxulu obraz deyildi. O da ham\u0131 kimi ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f, qocalm\u0131\u015f v\u0259 \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 anlay\u0131rd\u0131 ki, insan tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyd\u0259n qorxur. Tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015fey\u0259 is\u0259 m\u0259rh\u0259m\u0259t edir.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0259 h\u0259min g\u00fcnl\u0259rin birind\u0259 n\u0259hay\u0259t d\u0259niz\u0259 getm\u0259y\u0259 q\u0259rar verdi. U\u015faql\u0131qdan qorxdu\u011fu d\u0259niz\u0259.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sahild\u0259 dayan\u0131b uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t suya baxd\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Burda n\u0259 var ki? Bax ham\u0131 girir, \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r. He\u00e7 kim\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 olmur. S\u0259n d\u0259 gir\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n. Sad\u0259c\u0259 diqq\u0259tli olacaqsan.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0259sini e\u015fid\u0259n olsayd\u0131, y\u0259qin onu d\u0259li hesab ed\u0259rdi. Bu fikir a\u011fl\u0131ndan ke\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 g\u00fcld\u00fc. Sonra suya girdi.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

El\u0259 bir az getmi\u015fdi ki, q\u0259fil g\u0259l\u0259n g\u00fccl\u00fc dal\u011fa onun tarazl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 pozdu. Aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndak\u0131 qum s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, b\u0259d\u0259ni qeyri-ixtiyari olaraq yana \u0259yildi. H\u0259r \u015fey bir ne\u00e7\u0259 saniy\u0259nin i\u00e7ind\u0259 ba\u015f verdi. U\u015faql\u0131qda ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 o qorxu, ill\u0259rl\u0259 xat\u0131rlamaq ist\u0259m\u0259diyi hiss bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 geri qay\u0131td\u0131. Lal\u0259 \u0259l-qol atma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. Suyun dayaz oldu\u011funu a\u011fl\u0131 il\u0259 anlay\u0131rd\u0131, amma qorxu \u00e7oxdan a\u011fl\u0131n idar\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bird\u0259n kims\u0259 onu tutdu. Suyun i\u00e7ind\u0259n qald\u0131r\u0131b sahil\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f aparma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. Lal\u0259 d\u0259rind\u0259n n\u0259f\u0259s alma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00dcr\u0259yi el\u0259 d\u00f6y\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, el\u0259 bil sin\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xacaqd\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 \u00dcz\u0259 bilmirsinizs\u0259, suya niy\u0259 girirsiniz ax\u0131?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lal\u0259 cavab verm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 M\u0259n…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Siz n\u0259?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Qorxumun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 getm\u0259k ist\u0259dim.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

O\u011flan bir ne\u00e7\u0259 saniy\u0259 ona baxd\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 T\u0259ksiniz?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 H\u0259.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Kims\u0259 yoxdur yan\u0131n\u0131zda?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Yox. M\u0259nim su fobiyam var.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lal\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sald\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Qorxunun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 getm\u0259k ist\u0259dim…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Qorxunun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 getm\u0259k pis fikir deyil. Amma bel\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259ri t\u0259k etm\u0259k olmaz.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lal\u0259 qeyri-ixtiyari \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131rd\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 N\u0259yi?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Qorxunun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 getm\u0259yi. Bel\u0259 hallarda adam\u0131n yan\u0131nda kims\u0259 olmal\u0131d\u0131r. T\u0259k olmaz deyir\u0259m!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

O\u011flan bunu adi bir s\u00f6z kimi dedi. Y\u0259qin ki, bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259qiq\u0259d\u0259n sonra \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 h\u0259min c\u00fcml\u0259ni xat\u0131rlamayacaqd\u0131. Amma bu s\u00f6zl\u0259r g\u0259lib Lal\u0259nin daxilind\u0259 el\u0259 bir yer\u0259 toxundu ki, \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndi. T\u0259k olmaz!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 ona g\u00f6r\u0259 ki, indiy\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r h\u0259r \u015feyi t\u0259k etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Qorxular\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259k ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f, a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259k da\u015f\u0131m\u0131\u015f, gec\u0259l\u0259r yata bilm\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 fikirl\u0259ri il\u0259 t\u0259k qalm\u0131\u015f, h\u0259yatdan da \u00e7ox \u015fey g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259d\u0259n ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259tta sevm\u0259kd\u0259n d\u0259 ona g\u00f6r\u0259 qorxmu\u015fdu ki, kim\u0259s\u0259 ba\u011flanmaq, kim\u0259s\u0259 ehtiyac duymaq z\u0259iflik kimi g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ona.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ancaq h\u0259min an ilk d\u0259f\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc ki, b\u0259lk\u0259 insan\u0131n \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck yanl\u0131\u015f\u0131 da el\u0259 budur. B\u0259lk\u0259 h\u0259yat do\u011frudan da t\u0259k ya\u015famaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yarad\u0131lmay\u0131b. B\u0259lk\u0259 insan\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcc\u00fc h\u0259r \u015feyi t\u0259k bacarmas\u0131nda deyil, laz\u0131m g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 kim\u0259s\u0259 s\u00f6yk\u0259n\u0259 bilm\u0259sind\u0259dir. Ax\u0131 \u0259n \u00e7\u0259tin anlar\u0131nda bel\u0259 insan\u0131n yad\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n ilk \u015fey bir \u0259l, bir s\u0259s, bir n\u0259f\u0259r olur.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

O\u011flan\u0131n s\u0259si onu fikirl\u0259rind\u0259n ay\u0131rd\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 H\u0259… yax\u015f\u0131yam.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 \u018fminsiniz?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lal\u0259 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 diqq\u0259tl\u0259 ona baxd\u0131. Sonra g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 H\u0259.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Ad\u0131n\u0131z n\u0259dir?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu sual\u0131 y\u00fczl\u0259rl\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 e\u015fitmi\u015fdi. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 d\u0259 eyni cavab\u0131 vermi\u015fdi.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Lal\u0259…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 D\u0259li M\u0259l\u0259yin m\u0259zar\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin \u00f6n\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259ldi. U\u015faql\u0131qdan b\u0259ri qorxdu\u011fu o qad\u0131n, sonra h\u0259min m\u0259zar\u0131n yan\u0131nda hiss etdiyi q\u0259rib\u0259 rahatl\u0131q, son aylarda i\u00e7ind\u0259 ba\u015f ver\u0259n d\u0259yi\u015fiklikl\u0259r… El\u0259 bil b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar onu ill\u0259rl\u0259 gizl\u0259tdiyi bir h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259tirib \u00e7\u0131xarm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Lal\u0259z\u0259r.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

O\u011flan t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259nm\u0259di.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 G\u00f6z\u0259l add\u0131r.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lal\u0259 d\u0259niz\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f baxd\u0131. G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f batmaq \u00fczr\u0259 idi. Suyun \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131l\u0131 i\u015f\u0131q par\u00e7alan\u0131b x\u0131rda dal\u011falar\u0131n aras\u0131nda itib-bat\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259yat\u0131nda ilk d\u0259f\u0259 idi ki, \u00f6z ad\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fid\u0259nd\u0259 ona yad adam\u0131n ad\u0131 kimi g\u0259lm\u0259di. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 idi ki, d\u0259li olmaq haqda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fcrd\u00fc v\u0259 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 anlay\u0131rd\u0131 ki, h\u0259yat insan b\u00fct\u00fcn qorxular\u0131ndan qurtulanda deyil, onlar\u0131n \u0259sirin\u0259 \u00e7evrilm\u0259yi dayand\u0131randa d\u0259yi\u015fir.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Az\u0259rbaycan Yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131lar Birliyinin \u00fczv\u00fc, Az\u0259rbaycan\u0131n M\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259t v\u0259 \u018fd\u0259biyyat Portal\u0131n\u0131n Ba\u015f redaktoru. G\u00fcn\u00fcn \u0259n \u00e7ox sevdiyi vaxt\u0131 s\u00fcbh \u00e7a\u011f\u0131 idi. Lal\u0259 \u2013 \u0259slind\u0259 is\u0259 Lal\u0259z\u0259r \u2013 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n t\u0259miz an\u0131 m\u0259hz gec\u0259 il\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u00fcz\u00fcn aras\u0131ndak\u0131 o q\u0131sa ke\u00e7iddir. H\u0259l\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259r tam oyanmay\u0131b, insanlar evl\u0259rind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa t\u0259l\u0259smir, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259r g\u00fcn\u00fcn yor\u011funlu\u011funu v\u0259 s\u0259s-k\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259yib. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-51517","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51517","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=51517"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51517\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":51524,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51517\/revisions\/51524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=51517"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=51517"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=51517"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}