{"id":9950,"date":"2014-08-22T05:28:41","date_gmt":"2014-08-22T05:28:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=9950"},"modified":"2014-08-22T05:28:41","modified_gmt":"2014-08-22T05:28:41","slug":"m%c9%99nim-q%c9%99hr%c9%99manim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=9950","title":{"rendered":"“M\u0259nim q\u0259hr\u0259manim”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"love\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Bir universitetd\u0259 praktika ke\u00e7irdim, d\u0259rs deyirdim. Eyni semestrd\u0259 h\u0259m m\u00fchazir\u0259, h\u0259m seminar dediyim bir q\u0131z t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 diqq\u0259timi \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00c7ox g\u00f6z\u0259l idi, qeyri-ixtiyari ona bax\u0131rd\u0131m, \u00e7ox \u00e7al\u0131\u015fqan idi, b\u00fct\u00fcn imthanlarda \u0259n y\u00fcks\u0259k qiym\u0259ti o al\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259m d\u0259 \u00e7ox xan\u0131m xarakterli idi. Bir g\u00fcn t\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n q\u0131z\u0131 ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131 il\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm v\u0259 boynuma al\u0131ram, ilk a\u011fl\u0131mdan ke\u00e7\u0259n “Armudun yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ay\u0131lar yey\u0259r” d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259si oldu. 27-28 ya\u015flar\u0131nda, sa\u00e7\u0131 bir az t\u00f6k\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f,k\u00f6k, balacaboy adam idi. Bu insanla puluna g\u00f6r\u0259 ni\u015fanlana bil\u0259c\u0259yi a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259l\u0259n ilk fikir oldu. Sonra \u00f6yr\u0259ndim ki, imkanl\u0131 biri deyil v\u0259 ba\u015fqa bir universitetd\u0259 psixologiya \u00fczr\u0259 doktoranturada oxuyur v\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 ixtisas\u0131 \u00fczr\u0259 professor olmaq ist\u0259yir. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259m m\u0259ni rahat buraxm\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n n\u0259 tapm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 m\u0259nim g\u00f6z\u0259l t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259m bu o\u011flanda? Bir g\u00fcn koridorda, q\u0131za yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131m v\u0259 bir az ordan-burdan dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qdan sonra maraql\u0131 oldu\u011fum m\u00f6vzu il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 sual verdim:
\n– Ni\u015fanl\u0131nla nec\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f olmusan m\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox maraql\u0131d\u0131r?
\n– Bir dini m\u00fc\u015favir\u0259d\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r i\u015ftirak edirdik, orda tan\u0131\u015f olduq.
\n– B\u0259s s\u0259ni n\u0259yi c\u0259lb etdi?
\nO, bu sual\u0131 he\u00e7 g\u00f6zl\u0259mirdi. Ziyal\u0131 xan\u0131m oldu\u011fundan, bu c\u00fcr suallar\u0131 insan\u0131n \u015f\u0259xsi h\u0259yat\u0131na t\u0259cav\u00fcz hesab ed\u0259r\u0259k t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 baxd\u0131. Bir q\u0259d\u0259r sonra g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k: “O, \u015f\u0259han\u0259 bir insand\u0131r; O m\u0259nim q\u0259hr\u0259man\u0131md\u0131r. Ondan \u00e7ox \u015fey \u00f6yr\u0259nmi\u015f\u0259m” dedi.
\n\u0130lk anda duydu\u011fum hiss q\u0131sqancl\u0131q oldu. G\u00f6z\u0259l bir qad\u0131n\u0131n bir ki\u015fiy\u0259 ” S\u0259n m\u0259nim q\u0259hr\u0259man\u0131msan” duy\u011fusu il\u0259 baxmas\u0131n\u0131n ki\u015fiy\u0259 verilmi\u015f \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck h\u0259diyy\u0259 oldu\u011funu hiss etdim. Bu h\u0259diyy\u0259ni h\u0259yat\u0131m boyu almad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bildiyim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn q\u0131sqand\u0131m.
\n-Nec\u0259 y\u0259ni? soru\u015fdum.
\n– O, u\u015faq evind\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcb. Yetim olma\u011f\u0131n n\u0259 dem\u0259k oldu\u011funu bildiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn universitetd\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 olark\u0259n, yetimxanadan 2 u\u015fa\u011fa b\u00f6y\u00fck qarda\u015fl\u0131q edir. H\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259 10 saat\u0131n\u0131 onlara ay\u0131r\u0131r;onlarla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb oynay\u0131r,kitab oxuyur,onlar\u0131 g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 apar\u0131r. Onlar\u0131n yax\u015f\u0131 yeti\u015fm\u0259si \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259lind\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259ni edir. Onlardan biri \u0259m\u0259liyyat olunub v\u0259 ni\u015fanl\u0131m indi x\u0259st\u0259xanada qal\u0131b ona bax\u0131r.
\n\u00dcz\u00fcm\u0259 \u015fill\u0259 yemi\u015f kimi oldum. M\u0259n guya y\u00fcks\u0259k t\u0259hsil d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259sin\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015f biriy\u0259m v\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131mdak\u0131n\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 m\u00fchakim\u0259 edir, onu “ay\u0131” olaraq g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm. \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259ki pislikd\u0259n utand\u0131m. Bel\u0259 bir m\u0259ntiq y\u00fcr\u00fctd\u00fcm: Niy\u0259 m\u0259n o adama baxark\u0259n, ilk n\u00f6vb\u0259d\u0259 “Armudun yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ay\u0131 yey\u0259r” d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. \u00c7\u00fcnki m\u0259n, yeti\u015fdiyim m\u00fchitd\u0259 tez-tez bu b\u0259nz\u0259tm\u0259yi e\u015fid\u0259r\u0259k b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m. M\u0259nim m\u00fchitim m\u0259n\u0259 nec\u0259 t\u0259sir edibs\u0259, g\u00f6z\u0259l t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259min b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcy\u00fc m\u00fchit d\u0259 ona el\u0259 t\u0259sir etmi\u015fdi. Bu ail\u0259 m\u0259nd\u0259 maraq oyatma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131.
\nBir m\u00fcdd\u0259t sonra t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259m\u0259 onlara qonaq g\u0259lm\u0259k ist\u0259diyimi dedim. Getdim. \u018fn\u0259n\u0259vi g\u00fcl\u0259r\u00fczl\u00fckl\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131lar m\u0259ni. T\u0259l\u0259b\u0259min 4 ya\u015f\u0131nda bir balaca qarda\u015f\u0131, bir d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck evli qarda\u015f\u0131 var idi. Bu ail\u0259d\u0259 2 hadis\u0259 diqq\u0259timi \u00e7\u0259kdi. Birinci, ata \u00f6z 4 ya\u015fl\u0131 o\u011flu il\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fark\u0259n, a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 \u0259yilib d\u00fcz onun g\u00f6z x\u0259ttind\u0259 dayan\u0131rd\u0131. Bunu o q\u0259d\u0259r t\u0259bii edirdi ki, art\u0131q f\u0259rqin\u0259 bel\u0259 varmadan edil\u0259n davran\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fu b\u0259lli idi. T\u0259l\u0259b\u0259md\u0259n bu haqda soru\u015fdum. O dedi:
\n– H\u0259, atam\u0131z h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 biziml\u0259 el\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bir qarda\u015f\u0131m evlidir v\u0259 o, da u\u015faqlar\u0131 il\u0259 el\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r. M\u0259n d\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 el\u0259 dan\u0131\u015facam.
\nT\u00fckl\u0259rim biz-biz oldu. Atas\u0131na “Maraql\u0131d\u0131r, u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131zla g\u00f6z x\u0259ttin\u0259 en\u0259r\u0259k dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rs\u0131z” dedim. O, bir az t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k:
\n– B\u0259li, ax\u0131 onlar da balaca insanlard\u0131r.
\nO q\u0259d\u0259r t\u0259bii bax\u0131rd\u0131 ki, m\u0259n\u0259, g\u00f6zl\u0259ri “S\u0259n bel\u0259 etmirs\u0259n ki?” soru\u015furdu sanki. M\u0259nims\u0259 verdiyim t\u0259k cavab utanc bir g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259m\u0259 idi.
\n\u0130kinci diqq\u0259timi \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n is\u0259 onun qarda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 oldu. \u00c7ox z\u0259ngin bir biznesmen olan bu insana \u00e7ay \u0259snas\u0131nda z\u0259ng g\u0259ldi v\u0259 sabah \u00f6n\u0259mli bir g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u0259 i\u015ftirak etm\u0259sinin vacibliyi bildirildi. O, is\u0259 bel\u0259 cavab verdi: “M\u0259nim sabah eyni saatda daha vacib g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm var, ba\u015fqa g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fl\u0259ri t\u0259xir\u0259 sal\u0131n” Daha sonra biz\u0259 bel\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131qlama verdi: ” 4 \u00f6vlad\u0131m var v\u0259 h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259 biri il\u0259 4-5 saat bir yerd\u0259 zaman ke\u00e7iririk. Sabah q\u0131z\u0131mla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm var, bunu hec c\u00fcr ert\u0259l\u0259m\u0259k olmaz. U\u015faqlar tez b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcr, bir d\u0259 bax\u0131rsan b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcb v\u0259 s\u0259n he\u00e7 u\u015faqlar\u0131nla zaman ke\u00e7irm\u0259mis\u0259n”
\n\u00d6z u\u015faqlar\u0131ma i\u00e7im yand\u0131. Daha sonra u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131ma yand\u0131 i\u00e7im. V\u0259 son dayanacaq b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6lk\u0259min u\u015faqlar\u0131na yand\u0131 i\u00e7im.
\nHe\u00e7 k\u0259s\u0259 hirsl\u0259n\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yimi anlay\u0131b “Bundan sonra n\u0259 ed\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259m?” haqq\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. T\u0259l\u0259b\u0259min b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcy\u00fc m\u00fchiti g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259, onun se\u00e7diyi o insanla ni\u015fanlanmas\u0131na daha yax\u015f\u0131 m\u0259na ver\u0259 bilirdim. Atas\u0131 h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 onunla g\u00f6z x\u0259ttin\u0259 \u0259yilib dan\u0131\u015fanda, u\u015faq “S\u0259n varsan, t\u0259biis\u0259n, oldu\u011fun kimis\u0259n, d\u0259y\u0259rlis\u0259n, g\u00fccl\u00fcs\u0259n, sevilm\u0259y\u0259 layiqs\u0259n” mesaj\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131b v\u0259 onun RUHu b\u0259sl\u0259nib.
\nU\u015fa\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f vaxt\u0131na sadiq qalan ata “S\u0259ninl\u0259 vaxt\u0131m\u0131 ke\u00e7irm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m, s\u0259nin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dar\u0131xm\u0131\u015fam” s\u00f6zl\u0259rini onun b\u00fct\u00fcn ruhuna yay\u0131r. U\u015faq bunu yaln\u0131z s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259 yox, \u0259m\u0259ll\u0259rd\u0259 duyur, u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n x\u0259miri “M\u0259n sevilm\u0259y\u0259 layiq biriy\u0259m” d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259si il\u0259 yo\u011frulur.
\nV\u0259 o, u\u015faq g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn insanlara “sevilm\u0259y\u0259 layiq biril\u0259ri” kimi bax\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Bir ata-anan\u0131n \u00f6vlad\u0131na ver\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259yi \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck miras, sevgi il\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f, b\u0259sl\u0259nmi\u015f v\u0259 buna inanm\u0131\u015f g\u00fccl\u00fc bir CANd\u0131r.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bir universitetd\u0259 praktika ke\u00e7irdim, d\u0259rs deyirdim. Eyni semestrd\u0259 h\u0259m m\u00fchazir\u0259, h\u0259m seminar dediyim bir q\u0131z t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 diqq\u0259timi \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00c7ox g\u00f6z\u0259l idi, qeyri-ixtiyari ona bax\u0131rd\u0131m, \u00e7ox \u00e7al\u0131\u015fqan idi, b\u00fct\u00fcn imthanlarda \u0259n y\u00fcks\u0259k qiym\u0259ti o al\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259m d\u0259 \u00e7ox xan\u0131m xarakterli idi. Bir g\u00fcn t\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n q\u0131z\u0131 ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131 il\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm v\u0259 boynuma al\u0131ram, ilk a\u011fl\u0131mdan ke\u00e7\u0259n “Armudun […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pub"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9950","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9950"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9953,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9950\/revisions\/9953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}