{"id":22668,"date":"2016-10-17T10:00:11","date_gmt":"2016-10-17T06:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=22668"},"modified":"2016-10-17T23:04:23","modified_gmt":"2016-10-17T19:04:23","slug":"s%c9%99n-m%c9%99nim-ucun-qovusuqsan-d%c9%99r%c9%99l%c9%99y%c9%99zs%c9%99n-v%c9%99t%c9%99nimin-bir-parcasisan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=22668","title":{"rendered":"S\u018fN M\u018fN\u0130M \u00dc\u00c7\u00dcN QOVU\u015eUQSAN, D\u018fR\u018fL\u018fY\u018fZS\u018fN \u2013 V\u018fT\u018fN\u0130M\u0130N B\u0130R PAR\u00c7ASISAN…"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131 s\u0259nin 70 ya\u015f\u0131na, sonra is\u0259 75 ya\u015f\u0131na h\u0259sr etm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim.
\n\u018fvv\u0259l 70-\u0259, sonra is\u0259 75-\u0259 gecikdim. Qorxdum ki, 80 ya\u015f\u0131na da gecik\u0259m, ata!<\/p>\n

M\u0259n Z\u00fclf\u00fcqarova G\u00f6vh\u0259r Kaz\u0131m q\u0131z\u0131, Q\u0259rbi Az\u0259rbaycanda zirv\u0259si q\u0131\u015f-yay qardan a\u011fappaq paltar gey\u0259n, bumbuz bulaqlar\u0131n di\u015fg\u00f6yn\u0259d\u0259n suyundan qurtum-qurtum i\u00e7\u0259r\u0259k g\u0259rd\u0259nini \u00e7\u0259kib qoynunda m\u0259sk\u0259n salm\u0131\u015f, \u00f6z\u00fc ki\u00e7ik, \u0259ks-s\u0259das\u0131 b\u00f6y\u00fck, insanlar\u0131 m\u0259\u011frur, m\u0259\u011frur oldu\u011fu q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 s\u0259mimi, mehriban, qay\u011f\u0131ke\u015f olan, k\u0259ndl\u0259ri t\u0259bii bir qala kimi qoruyan, ba\u015f\u0131 \u201cbuluddan n\u0259m \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n T\u0259k\u0259donduran da\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u0259t\u0259kl\u0259rind\u0259, D\u0259r\u0259l\u0259y\u0259z mahal\u0131nda d\u00fcnyaya g\u00f6z a\u00e7d\u0131m. K\u00f6rp\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 layla \u00e7alan z\u00fcmz\u00fcm\u0259li bulaqlar\u0131n h\u0259zin duy\u011fular oyadan k\u00f6vr\u0259k n\u0259\u011fm\u0259l\u0259rinin s\u0259dalar\u0131 alt\u0131nda, Qovu\u015fuqda qovu\u015fan \u00e7aylar\u0131n v\u00fcsal h\u0131\u00e7q\u0131r\u0131ql\u0131r\u0131n\u0131 dinl\u0259y\u0259-dinl\u0259y\u0259, me\u015f\u0259l\u0259rin, sevgilil\u0259rin \u00fcr\u0259k p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 xat\u0131rladan titr\u0259yi\u015find\u0259n do\u011fan z\u0259rif x\u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 duya-duya im\u0259kl\u0259dim, yeridim, d\u00fcnyan\u0131 d\u0259rk etdim. Da\u011f \u00e7aylar\u0131n\u0131n d\u0259li n\u0259riltisi yuxudan oyad\u0131b, yay g\u00fcn\u0259\u015finin q\u0131zmar \u015f\u00fcalar\u0131 yand\u0131r\u0131b, s\u0259rt q\u0131\u015f\u0131n \u015faxtas\u0131 dondurub m\u0259ni. B\u0259z\u0259n yaz s\u0259h\u0259rinin h\u0259nirtisin\u0259 oyanm\u0131\u015fam, b\u0259z\u0259n pay\u0131z\u0131n \u00e7iskin ya\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m. Yaz s\u0259h\u0259rind\u0259 \u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, pay\u0131z ax\u015famlar\u0131nda b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, x\u0259yallara dalm\u0131\u015fam. G\u00fcn\u0259\u015fin z\u0259rrin \u015f\u0259f\u0259ql\u0259rini \u0259ks etdir\u0259n b\u0259mbayaz qar\u0131n par\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131 s\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259r g\u00f6zl\u0259rimi qama\u015fd\u0131r\u0131b. Adamboyu qalxan qal\u0131n qar\u0131 yara-yara Qovu\u015fuq k\u0259nd m\u0259kt\u0259bin\u0259 (ona \u201cD\u0259r\u0259l\u0259y\u0259zin akademiyas\u0131\u201d deyirdil\u0259r) getmi\u015f\u0259m. B\u0259z\u0259n \u00e7a\u015f\u0131b ana dediyim M\u0259mi\u015fov Elb\u0259yi m\u00fc\u0259llimd\u0259n (Allah ona r\u0259\u015fm\u0259t el\u0259sin) h\u0259rfl\u0259rin sirrini, yaz\u0131lar\u0131n sehrini, M\u0259mm\u0259dov N\u0259srullah m\u00fc\u0259llimd\u0259n na\u011f\u0131llar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n, bayat\u0131 v\u0259 laylalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n, \u00fcmumilikd\u0259 is\u0259 dilimizin l\u0259tif \u015firinliyini, ecazkar g\u00f6z\u0259lliyini, atam Kaz\u0131m m\u00fc\u0259llimd\u0259n d\u00fcnyan\u0131n yaranmas\u0131n\u0131, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u0259z\u0259li insan r\u00fc\u015feyml\u0259rinin nec\u0259 c\u00fcc\u0259rib g\u00f6y\u0259rm\u0259sini, \u00e7aylar\u0131n do\u011fumunu, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc, da\u011flar\u0131n v\u00fcqar\u0131n\u0131, D\u0259r\u0259l\u0259y\u0259zin relyefini \u0259yani, Az\u0259rbaycan\u0131n s\u0259rh\u0259dl\u0259rini qiyabi \u00f6yr\u0259nmi\u015f\u0259m. Adlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259diyim v\u0259 yaxud \u00e7\u0259k\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim bir \u00e7ox m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rimd\u0259n (onlardan \u00fczr ist\u0259yir\u0259m) \u0259vv\u0259li b\u0259\u015f\u0259r-insan, ax\u0131r\u0131 \u015f\u0259r-\u015feytan d\u00fcnyan\u0131n dolambac yollar\u0131nda azmadan, bacard\u0131qca az b\u00fcdr\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k (b\u00fcdr\u0259m\u0259m\u0259k d\u0259 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil) ir\u0259lil\u0259m\u0259yi \u00f6yr\u0259ndim. B\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcm. Mirz\u0259li o\u011flu \u0130brahim baban\u0131n k\u0259lamlar\u0131ndan g\u00fcc ald\u0131m. Kaz\u0131m m\u00fc\u0259llimin \u015f\u0259xsind\u0259 ideal\u0131m\u0131 tataparaq, H\u0259c\u0259r anadan qad\u0131nl\u0131q n\u00fcmun\u0259si g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259r\u0259k, b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcm. \u018fmil\u0259rimd\u0259 (\u018fli, M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259d) t\u0259mkin, q\u00fcrur, l\u0259yaq\u0259t, day\u0131lar\u0131mda (Abbas, H\u0259s\u0259n) qay\u011f\u0131, sevgi, m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Ab\u0131r, h\u0259ya, ism\u0259t d\u0259rsini xalalar\u0131mdan (Z\u0259hra, \u015eura) ald\u0131m, b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcm. \u018fmican\u0131lar\u0131m Z\u00fcleyxa b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u00fck, a\u011fbir\u00e7\u0259klik, Maya safl\u0131q, sad\u0259lik verdil\u0259r m\u0259n\u0259. Daydostular\u0131m S\u0259kin\u0259 (S\u0259hn\u0259) \u015fuxluq, Z\u00fcleyxa t\u0259mizlik b\u0259x\u015f etdi, h\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n bir \u015fey ald\u0131m, g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcm. B\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcm… B\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259-b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131b \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc m\u00fc\u0259llim g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.
\nH\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fam ki, ata, s\u0259nin kimi m\u00fc\u0259llim olum; say\u0131l\u0131b-se\u00e7il\u0259n, l\u0259yaq\u0259tli, \u015fagirdl\u0259rimin sevdiyi, h\u00f6rm\u0259tl\u0259 yana\u015fd\u0131qlar\u0131, dem\u0259k olar ki, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 yad etdikl\u0259ri bir m\u00fc\u0259llim. U\u015faqla u\u015faq, b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck olan bir m\u00fc\u0259llim, \u00f6z\u00fcn demi\u015fk\u0259n, \u201cu\u015faqlarla i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 u\u015faqla\u015fan\u201d bir m\u00fc\u0259llim. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 b\u0259rk h\u0259yacanl\u0131 idim.
\nM\u0259nd\u0259n soru\u015fdun ki, n\u0259 olub ax\u0131? Dedim ki, m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 yoxlama var, i\u015fl\u0259rimizi yoxlayacaqlar. G\u00fcld\u00fcn, \u201cbala, s\u0259n i\u015fl\u0259rini vaxt\u0131nda g\u00f6r, d\u0259rsl\u0259rin\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 haz\u0131r ol, i\u015fin\u0259 m\u0259suliyy\u0259tl\u0259 yana\u015f, ondan sonra yoxlama g\u0259lmir, kim g\u0259lir g\u0259lsin\u201d dedin. Sonra bir q\u0259d\u0259r d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcn v\u0259 yen\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00fcl\u0259-g\u00fcl\u0259: \u201cm\u0259kt\u0259b ferma deyil ki, qoyunlar\u0131n \u0259skik g\u0259l\u0259, m\u0259kt\u0259b insan yeti\u015fdirir, onun t\u0259rbiy\u0259si il\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olur, \u015fagirdl\u0259r\u0259 bilik verir. M\u0259kt\u0259b elm oca\u011f\u0131d\u0131r. Qorxma bala, qorxma\u201d – dedin.
\nQ\u0259rib\u0259 yana\u015fma t\u0259rzidir, bu fikirl\u0259r m\u0259n\u0259 bir n\u00f6v rahatl\u0131q g\u0259tirdi. \u0130ndi d\u0259 h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 \u201cqonaqlar\u0131m\u0131z\u201d olanda s\u0259nin s\u00f6zl\u0259rini xat\u0131rlay\u0131ram v\u0259 bu m\u0259ni sakitl\u0259\u015fdirir.
\n\u00c7oxdan s\u0259nin haqq\u0131nda n\u0259s\u0259 yazmaq ist\u0259yirdim, h\u0259tta g\u00f6t\u00fcr-qoy edirdim ki, Kaz\u0131m m\u00fc\u0259llim haqq\u0131nda yaz\u0131m, yoxsa atam Kaz\u0131m haqq\u0131nda? Q\u0259rarla\u015fd\u0131ra bilmirdim, indi d\u0259 d\u0259qiq bilmir\u0259m hans\u0131 haqq\u0131nda yaz\u0131ram, \u00e7\u00fcnki bu iki \u015f\u0259xsi bir-birind\u0259n ay\u0131ra bilmir\u0259m. S\u0259n el\u0259 m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 d\u0259, evd\u0259 d\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259llim idin. Evd\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 q\u0131z (G\u00f6vh\u0259r, Mehpar\u0259, \u0130rad\u0259) atas\u0131 oldu\u011fun q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 \u015fagirdl\u0259rinin atas\u0131 idin. H\u0259rd\u0259n sinif r\u0259hb\u0259ri oldu\u011fum 10 b sinfin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 gimnaziyan\u0131n direktoru Nizami m\u00fc\u0259llim m\u0259ni \u201cdanlayanda\u201d, s\u0259n sinif r\u0259hb\u0259ri deyil, u\u015faqlara anal\u0131q edirs\u0259n,- dey\u0259nd\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 nec\u0259 xo\u015f g\u0259ldiyini bils\u0259 idi, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bu fikri ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr ifad\u0259 ed\u0259rdi. Ax\u0131 h\u0259min anda \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259 s\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m, Kaz\u0131m m\u00fc\u0259llim!
\n\u018ftraf k\u0259ndl\u0259rin b\u0259zil\u0259rind\u0259 orta m\u0259kt\u0259b olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn u\u015faqlar internatda qal\u0131b bizim m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 oxuyurdular. O u\u015faqlara h\u0259r ax\u015fam ba\u015f \u00e7\u0259km\u0259s\u0259ydin, \u0259y\u0259r-\u0259skikl\u0259ri il\u0259 maraqlanmasayd\u0131n, rahat olmazd\u0131n. Onlar\u0131n valideynl\u0259ri u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131 s\u0259n\u0259 \u00fcmid ed\u0259rdil\u0259r, s\u0259n\u0259 tap\u015f\u0131rard\u0131lar. S\u0259n \u0259la\u00e7\u0131 v\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 oxuyan, c\u0259ld v\u0259 diriba\u015f, bacar\u0131ql\u0131 v\u0259 qabiliyy\u0259tli \u015fagirdl\u0259ri x\u00fcsusil\u0259 sev\u0259rdin. M\u0259nim \u0259la\u00e7\u0131 olma\u011f\u0131m\u0131 el\u0259 ist\u0259yirdin ki, s\u0259ni bundan m\u0259hrum etm\u0259y\u0259 m\u0259nim haqq\u0131m yox idi. var g\u00fcc\u00fcml\u0259 oxuyurdum v\u0259 qiym\u0259tl\u0259rimin ham\u0131s\u0131 be\u015f idi. n\u0259hay\u0259t orta m\u0259kt\u0259bi f\u0259rql\u0259nm\u0259 atestat\u0131 il\u0259 bitirdim. \u00dcz\u0259rimd\u0259 \u0259m\u0259yi olan b\u00fct\u00fcn m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rim\u0259 gec d\u0259 olsa minn\u0259tdarl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bildirir\u0259m, \u00e7\u00fcnki onlar\u0131n qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131, diqq\u0259ti, sevgisi h\u0259min u\u011furlar\u0131n \u0259sas\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259\u015fkil edirdi.
\nYax\u015f\u0131 yad\u0131mdad\u0131r, Bak\u0131da ali t\u0259hsil ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m ill\u0259rd\u0259 bir \u00e7emodan\u0131m vard\u0131. K\u0259nd\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 qiym\u0259t kitab\u00e7am\u0131 h\u0259min \u00e7emodan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki iri cibin\u0259 qoyurdum. Bilirdim ki, k\u0259nd\u0259 \u00e7atan kimi m\u0259niml\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259r-g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259z bu kitab\u00e7aya baxacaqsan. Art\u0131q d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm ki, \u0259g\u0259r \u201c5\u201d yox, ba\u015fqa bir qiym\u0259t alsam, m\u0259niml\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n. Odur ki, gec\u0259mi g\u00fcnd\u00fcz\u0259 qat\u0131b oxuyurdum. N\u0259tic\u0259d\u0259 oxumaqdan o q\u0259d\u0259r bezdim ki, sonuncu ist\u0259yini \u2013 institutda qal\u0131b elmi i\u015fl\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olmaq ist\u0259yini yerin\u0259 yetir\u0259 bilm\u0259dim. Daha do\u011frusu, yetirm\u0259dim. Bils\u0259ydin ki, \u00f6my\u00fcm boyu oxuyaca\u011fam, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr olard\u0131. H\u0259yatda \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck ist\u0259yim s\u0259ni sevindirm\u0259k idi, \u00e7\u00fcnki s\u0259n sevin\u0259nd\u0259 m\u0259n s\u0259nd\u0259n \u00e7ox sevinirdim.
\n\u201cAtam\u0131 n\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u015fagirdl\u0259ri bel\u0259 \u00e7ox sevirdil\u0259r?\u201d sual\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7ox vermi\u015f\u0259m. H\u0259l\u0259 indi-indi anlay\u0131ram bunun cavab\u0131n\u0131. Sevgi sevgi g\u0259tir\u0259r, h\u00f6rm\u0259ts\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259t. Atam \u00f6z \u015fagirdl\u0259rini \u00e7ox sevdiyi, onlara h\u0259qiqi ata qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131 il\u0259 yana\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc, ad\u0131n\u0131-san\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcy\u00fc \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn deyil, \u015fagirdl\u0259rinin taleyini, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcy\u00fc \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn onu bel\u0259 \u00e7ox sevirmi\u015fl\u0259r. Ke\u00e7mi\u015f zamanda dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Ax\u0131, el\u0259 d\u00fcn\u0259nin bapbalaca, qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131z, sanki sif\u0259tl\u0259rin\u0259 \u0259b\u0259di g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f qonmu\u015f k\u00f6rp\u0259l\u0259ri art\u0131q yetkin, a\u011fl\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131nda ail\u0259, m\u00fc\u0259ssis\u0259 idar\u0259 ed\u0259n \u015f\u0259xsiyy\u0259tl\u0259r bel\u0259, indinin \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 atama ba\u015f \u00e7\u0259kir, hal-\u0259hval tutur v\u0259 bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 \u00f6zl\u0259rini onun yan\u0131nda \u015fagird kimi hiss etdikl\u0259rini s\u00f6yl\u0259yirl\u0259r.
\n\u00d6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259, d\u0259rs\u0259, \u015fagirdl\u0259r\u0259 h\u0259sr etmis\u0259n. Onun t\u0259xmin\u0259n 35-40 il\u0259 yax\u0131n bir m\u00fcdd\u0259tini Qovu\u015fuq k\u0259nd m\u0259kt\u0259bind\u0259, qalan 10-15 ilini is\u0259 burada \u2013 Sumqay\u0131t \u015f\u0259h\u0259r 16 n\u00f6mr\u0259li tam orta m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 ke\u00e7irmis\u0259n. Orada da, burada da \u00e7oxlu m\u00fc\u0259llim dostlar\u0131n olub. \u00c7ox nadir hallarda g\u00fcnorta yem\u0259yini t\u0259k yemis\u0259n. O vaxtlar m\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 v\u0259 h\u0259tta yersiz g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n b\u0259zi h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rini (\u00e7ox-\u00e7ox \u00fczr ist\u0259yir\u0259m) q\u0131nad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn (\u0259lb\u0259tt\u0259 ki, \u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259, yoxsa buna nec\u0259 c\u00fcr\u0259t ed\u0259 bil\u0259rdim ki?) indi \u00f6z\u00fcm-\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc q\u0131nay\u0131ram \u2013 bu d\u0259f\u0259 is\u0259 a\u015fkarda! M\u0259kt\u0259bimizin yax\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u2013 Yunis day\u0131 v\u0259 ya Qas\u0131m day\u0131gild\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259 t\u0259ndir \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yi bi\u015firil\u0259nd\u0259 \u0259tri \u0259trafa yay\u0131lard\u0131. O d\u0259qiq\u0259 m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 bir ba\u011flama \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k g\u0259l\u0259rdi, ya\u011f\u0131, pendiri d\u0259 yan\u0131nda. M\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rl\u0259 onu yey\u0259rdiniz. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kin\u0259-\u00e7\u0259kin\u0259: \u00abSiz n\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn xalxdan \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k al\u0131b yeyirsiniz?\u00bb dey\u0259 soru\u015fdum. \u018fvv\u0259l diqq\u0259tl\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 baxd\u0131n, sonra dedin ki, bala, yad\u0131nda saxla, \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k ver\u0259n \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k almaqdan utanmaz. H\u0259, bir d\u0259 o \u00abxalx\u00bb dedikl\u0259rinin biri qohum, o birisi is\u0259 k\u0259nd adam\u0131d\u0131r. Uca tutsan. O da qohum \u00e7\u0131xacaq!
\nS\u0259n bu h\u0259yatda n\u0259l\u0259r g\u00f6rm\u0259din, n\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7m\u0259din?! Qarda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 itirdin, elini, oban\u0131, yurdunu, yuvan\u0131 itirdin, qa\u00e7q\u0131n, k\u00f6\u00e7k\u00fcn d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcn. \u018fyilm\u0259din, s\u0131nmad\u0131n! Amma \u0259mim \u018flinin itkinliyi, qarda\u015f\u0131n o\u011flunun bu d\u00fcnyadan vaxts\u0131z k\u00f6\u00e7m\u0259si s\u0259ni b\u00fckd\u00fc, qocaltd\u0131. Bu h\u0259yatd\u0131r, ata! G\u00fcl\u00fc il\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r tikan\u0131 da var.
\nNabat n\u0259n\u0259 sizi \u2013 \u00fc\u00e7 o\u011flunu \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259 d\u0259 olsa b\u00f6y\u00fctm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Atas\u0131z b\u00f6y\u00fcs\u0259niz d\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fc-k\u00f6nl\u00fc tox idiniz. S\u0259n sonbe\u015fik idin. Lakin D\u0259r\u0259l\u0259y\u0259zd\u0259 a\u011fbir\u00e7\u0259k say\u0131lan, tan\u0131yanlar\u0131n h\u00f6rm\u0259t, r\u0259\u011fb\u0259t b\u0259sl\u0259diyi Nabat ana q\u0259tiyy\u0259n siz\u0259 haram \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k yedirtm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Sonralar \u00f6z\u00fcn d\u0259 ail\u0259 qurdun, nec\u0259 dey\u0259\u0259rl\u0259r, ev-e\u015fik sahibi oldun, s\u0259nin d\u0259 qap\u0131ndan haram ke\u00e7\u0259 bilm\u0259di. S\u0259n d\u0259 \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131 halall\u0131qla b\u00f6y\u00fctd\u00fcn, haram yedirtm\u0259din, harama \u00f6yr\u0259tm\u0259din. Bunun n\u0259 oldu\u011funu daha d\u0259rind\u0259n anlay\u0131ram. S\u0259n biz\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fc tox, aln\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q, q\u00fcrurla ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131 \u00f6yr\u0259tdin, Ata! \u00c7ox sa\u011f ol! Bu ya\u015f\u0131nda da \u015f\u0259fal\u0131 \u0259ll\u0259rinin z\u0259hm\u0259ti, b\u0259hr\u0259si il\u0259 dolan\u0131rsan. He\u00e7 k\u0259s\u0259 ehtiyac\u0131n yoxdur. Olsa-olsa, diqq\u0259t\u0259, qay\u011f\u0131ya ehtiyac\u0131n var. \u015e\u00fck\u00fcrl\u0259r olsun Allaha ki, qarda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n o\u011flanlar\u0131, q\u0131z\u0131 s\u0259ni \u00e7ox sevir, tez-tez s\u0259n\u0259 ba\u015f \u00e7\u0259kirl\u0259r. N\u0259v\u0259l\u0259rin bir ba\u015fqa al\u0259mdirl\u0259r. S\u0259nin h\u0259r s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc, h\u0259r s\u00f6hb\u0259tini b\u00f6y\u00fck maraqla dinl\u0259yirl\u0259r. Ham\u0131dan \u00e7ox s\u0259ni ist\u0259yirl\u0259r. Q\u0131zlar \u2013 S\u0259kin\u0259, Nuray, S\u00fcs\u0259n, Z\u00fcleyxa, Ayt\u0259n h\u0259r\u0259si bir evin xan\u0131m\u0131d\u0131r. Amma imkan olan kimi s\u0259nin yan\u0131na qa\u00e7\u0131rlar. \u015eirin g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015fl\u0259ri il\u0259 s\u0259ni d\u0259 sevindirib g\u00fcld\u00fcr\u00fcrl\u0259r. O\u011flanlar: S\u0259buhi, Orxan, Abbas. M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259d bir s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc iki etmir, n\u0259 des\u0259n ba\u015f \u00fcst\u0259 deyirl\u0259r. onlar\u0131n s\u0259nd\u0259n g\u00f6r\u00fcb-g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259c\u0259yi \u00e7ox \u015fey var h\u0259l\u0259. M\u0259n h\u0259l\u0259 k\u00fcr\u0259k\u0259nl\u0259rini demir\u0259m. Azad qay\u0131n\u0131n o\u011flu Oqtay \u015fagirdin, Z\u00fclf\u00fcqar qarda\u015f\u0131n o\u011flu olsa da, s\u0259nin qay\u011f\u0131na nec\u0259 d\u0259 do\u011fma \u00f6vlad kimi qal\u0131r, h\u0259tta \u0259rkl\u0259 sa\u011flaml\u0131\u011f\u0131nla ba\u011fl\u0131 s\u0259n\u0259 irad da tuturlar. X\u0259yyam haqq\u0131nda dan\u0131\u015fmaq m\u0259ni \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7ox \u00e7\u0259tindir. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 ki, ona qar\u015f\u0131 hissl\u0259rim d\u0259 \u00e7ox qar\u0131\u015f\u0131qd\u0131r. Onu h\u0259m qard\u0131\u015f, h\u0259m d\u0259 ilk \u00f6vlad kimi sevmi\u015f\u0259m. bilir\u0259m ki, siz d\u0259 onda bir \u00e7ox arzu v\u0259 ist\u0259kl\u0259rinizi birl\u0259\u015fdirmisiniz. M\u0259n h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 ist\u0259mi\u015fdim ki, \u00fc\u00e7 \u00f6vladdan biri valideynl\u0259rin\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259td\u0259 atalar\u0131na, qohumlar\u0131n\u0131, yax\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131 aray\u0131b axtarmaqda Nabat n\u0259n\u0259m\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259sin. Allah m\u0259nim dualar\u0131m\u0131 e\u015fitdi. X\u0259yyam siz\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 h\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259r. Balaca Kaz\u0131m\u0131n is\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 Kaz\u0131m baba, H\u0259c\u0259r n\u0259n\u0259dir. S\u0259n bizim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bir na\u011f\u0131lsan, bir \u0259fsan\u0259s\u0259n, Allah\u0131n sevdikl\u0259rin\u0259 verdiyi sevinc pay\u0131san, biz\u0259 qism\u0259t olmusan.
\nD\u0259r\u0259l\u0259y\u0259zd\u0259 Kaz\u0131mla H\u0259c\u0259r m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259ti S\u0259m\u0259d Vur\u011fun demi\u015fk\u0259n \u00abBir el na\u011f\u0131l\u0131na d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc\u00bb. Bu haqda h\u0259l\u0259 yeniyetm\u0259 \u00e7a\u011flar\u0131mda e\u015fitmi\u015fdim. Anamdan bir d\u0259f\u0259 soru\u015fdum ki, ax\u0131 deyirl\u0259r bir-birinizd\u0259n \u00f6tr\u00fc d\u0259li-divan\u0259 olmusunuz? \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 bir nazl\u0131-nazl\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di, sonra qa\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 dartaraq \u00abatan idi d\u0259\u00bb – dedi. B\u0259li, atam idi sev\u0259n d\u0259, sevil\u0259n d\u0259, s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 durub ist\u0259yin\u0259 qovu\u015fan da!
\nM\u0259n h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 s\u0259ninl\u0259 f\u0259xr etmi\u015f\u0259m, s\u0259ni d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n g\u00fccl\u00fc adam\u0131 hesab etmi\u015f\u0259m. Bu bir h\u0259qiq\u0259tdir. H\u0259r ki\u015finin i\u015fi deyildi ki, ucqar bir da\u011f k\u0259ndind\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 q\u0131z b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcb, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn\u0259 d\u0259 t\u0259hsil verm\u0259k. H\u0259rd\u0259n s\u0259ninl\u0259 zarafat edir\u0259m: \u00abMehpar\u0259 qay\u0131n\u0131n o\u011flunda. \u0130rad\u0259 qarda\u015f\u0131n o\u011flundad\u0131r, m\u0259n yadda. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 onlar\u0131 daha \u00e7ox ist\u0259yirs\u0259n\u00bb – deyir\u0259m. G\u00fcl\u00fcrs\u0259n (s\u0259nin \u00e7ox g\u00f6z\u0259l t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fcn var): \u00ab\u00d6vladlar\u0131n\u0131 bir-birind\u0259n se\u00e7\u0259 bilirs\u0259n?\u00bb -sual\u0131n\u0131 verirs\u0259n. Do\u011frudur, n\u0259 deyim ki?! Ata, s\u0259n he\u00e7 vaxt idar\u0259 olunmam\u0131san, he\u00e7 idar\u0259 d\u0259 etm\u0259mis\u0259n. Amma s\u00f6z\u00fc bir d\u0259f\u0259 demis\u0259n, bir d\u0259f\u0259. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 ki, ikinciy\u0259 ehtiyac qalmay\u0131b. El\u0259 deyil\u0259n kimi d\u0259 yerin\u0259 yetirilib. Bu sevgi idimi, h\u00f6rm\u0259t idimi, yoxsa qorxumu? M\u0259n bunu ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilmirdim. Amma, m\u0259nc\u0259, burda h\u0259r \u015fey vard\u0131: h\u0259tta qorxub \u00e7\u0259kinm\u0259k d\u0259. Lakin daha \u00e7ox sevginin, h\u00f6rm\u0259tin t\u0259zah\u00fcr\u00fc idi bu. Bunu t\u0259k m\u0259n demir\u0259m, ata, s\u0259ni sev\u0259nl\u0259r \u2013 dostlar\u0131n, yolda\u015flar\u0131n, h\u0259mk\u0259ndlil\u0259rin, \u015fagirdl\u0259rin, qohumlar\u0131n, h\u0259tta s\u0259ni bir d\u0259f\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcb tan\u0131yanlar da deyirl\u0259r. H\u00f6rm\u0259tli \u015fairimiz M\u0259mm\u0259d Aslan s\u0259ninl\u0259 ilk g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u0259 demi\u015fdi ki, s\u0259n ip\u0259k k\u0259l\u0259fis\u0259n, ki\u015fi! H\u0259r\u00e7\u0259nd ki, bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri e\u015fid\u0259n anam: \u00abOnu bir d\u0259 m\u0259nd\u0259n soru\u015fun\u00bb – dem\u0259k ist\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259 dinm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Ax\u0131, s\u0259n he\u00e7 d\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 ip\u0259k k\u0259l\u0259fi olmursan. H\u0259rd\u0259n da\u011f \u00e7ay\u0131 kimi da\u015f\u0131b \u00e7a\u011flay\u0131rsan, h\u0259rd\u0259n d\u00fcz\u0259nlikd\u0259n axan \u00e7ay kimi sakit-sakit ax\u0131rsan, amma o sakit ax\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda n\u0259l\u0259r var, onu bir s\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn, bir d\u0259 Allah bilir. H\u0259r halda ad\u0131n Kaz\u0131md\u0131r, bu is\u0259 \u0259r\u0259bc\u0259d\u0259n t\u0259rc\u00fcm\u0259d\u0259 d\u00f6z\u00fcml\u00fc, h\u00f6vs\u0259l\u0259li, dem\u0259kdir. Bilirs\u0259n, bunu kim dedi? Balaca Kaz\u0131m \u2013 ada\u015f\u0131n (yan\u0131mda oturub yazd\u0131qlar\u0131m\u0131 oxuyurdu v\u0259 bird\u0259n dedi ki, bibi, baban\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259nas\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259n bilir\u0259m, onu da yaz). Ata, h\u0259n h\u0259r hal\u0131nla biz\u0259 \u0259zizs\u0259n. Q\u0131zlar\u0131n bu g\u00fcn\u00fcnd\u0259, bu ya\u015f\u0131nda s\u0259n\u0259 n\u0259 arzulas\u0131n? \u00d6m\u00fcr arzulayaq, \u00f6mr\u00fc Allah verir. He\u00e7 k\u0259s bir \u00f6m\u00fcrd\u0259n art\u0131q ya\u015faya bilm\u0259z. Var-d\u00f6vl\u0259t arzulayaq? S\u0259n he\u00e7 vaxt onun h\u0259v\u0259sind\u0259 olmam\u0131san. Sa\u011flam ya\u015fam\u0131san, sa\u011flam ol! D\u0259rd-s\u0259r s\u0259nd\u0259n uzaq olsun v\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015fl\u0259rin dodaqlar\u0131ndan, t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259n \u0259skik olmas\u0131n. Balaca Kaz\u0131mla \u00absava\u015fdan\u00bb l\u0259zz\u0259t al\u0131rsan, Allah bu l\u0259zz\u0259ti s\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox g\u00f6rm\u0259sin:<\/p>\n

Oca\u011f\u0131n k\u00f6z\u00fc, qoru,
\n\u0130\u015f\u0131ldar odu, qoru.
\nGec\u0259l\u0259r yuxum g\u0259lm\u0259z,
\nAllah, Atam\u0131 qoru.<\/p>\n

Ki\u00e7ik bir ha\u015fiy\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

\u018fn xo\u015fb\u0259xt d\u0259qiq\u0259l\u0259rimd\u0259 d\u0259, k\u0259d\u0259rli anlar\u0131mda da, n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 birinci n\u00f6vb\u0259d\u0259 zirv\u0259si buludlar\u0131n i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259z olan T\u0259k\u0259donduran da\u011f\u0131n\u0131 xat\u0131rlay\u0131ram. Sonra is\u0259 da\u011f\u0131n zirv\u0259sind\u0259n n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rim yava\u015f-yava\u015f a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 \u2013 Qovu\u015fuq k\u0259ndin\u0259 enir. H\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l, xo\u015fb\u0259xt saatlar\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu k\u0259nd (heyf ki, vaxt\u0131nda bunu anlamam\u0131\u015fam) m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u00fcnyan\u0131n dayaq n\u00f6qt\u0259si olub. Orada ilk yeri\u015fim, g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm, k\u00f6rp\u0259liyim, u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131m qal\u0131b. Arzular\u0131m k\u0259klikl\u0259rin qanad\u0131nda, s\u0259sim-\u00fcn\u00fcm \u00e7aylar\u0131n\u0131n, bulaqlar\u0131n\u0131n \u015f\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131nda zaman adl\u0131 \u0259b\u0259diyy\u0259t\u0259 qovu\u015fub. \u0130ndi x\u0259yallar\u0131mda ya\u015fayan k\u0259nd, s\u0259n\u0259 qovu\u015fmaq m\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcl m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir. Torpa\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u0259trini duymaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m, g\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fc, \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yini qoxulamaq. Qar\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131 il\u0259 g\u00f6y\u0259r\u0259n otlar\u0131n\u0131n dad\u0131n\u0131 dama\u011f\u0131mda duyuram. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, bunlard\u0131r m\u0259ni \u015fagirdl\u0259r qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda b\u0259z\u0259n saatlarla v\u0259t\u0259nd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa, gah k\u00f6vr\u0259lib, gah da dolma\u011fa vadar ed\u0259n hissl\u0259r. \u0130nsan h\u0259r \u015feyin q\u0259drini onu itir\u0259nd\u0259n sonra bilir. S\u0259n m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn Qovu\u015fuqsan, D\u0259r\u0259l\u0259y\u0259zs\u0259n \u2013 v\u0259t\u0259nimin bir par\u00e7as\u0131san, ata!<\/p>\n

P.S. Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131 \u0259slind\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 h\u0259sr etmi\u015f\u0259m, S\u0259ni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259r\u0259k yazm\u0131\u015fam. Ancaq, dey\u0259s\u0259n daha \u00e7ox \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n yazd\u0131m! Ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla, ata!<\/p>\n

G\u00f6vh\u0259r Z\u00dcLF\u00dcQAROVA <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131 s\u0259nin 70 ya\u015f\u0131na, sonra is\u0259 75 ya\u015f\u0131na h\u0259sr etm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. \u018fvv\u0259l 70-\u0259, sonra is\u0259 75-\u0259 gecikdim. Qorxdum ki, 80 ya\u015f\u0131na da gecik\u0259m, ata! M\u0259n Z\u00fclf\u00fcqarova G\u00f6vh\u0259r Kaz\u0131m q\u0131z\u0131, Q\u0259rbi Az\u0259rbaycanda zirv\u0259si q\u0131\u015f-yay qardan a\u011fappaq paltar gey\u0259n, bumbuz bulaqlar\u0131n di\u015fg\u00f6yn\u0259d\u0259n suyundan qurtum-qurtum i\u00e7\u0259r\u0259k g\u0259rd\u0259nini \u00e7\u0259kib qoynunda m\u0259sk\u0259n salm\u0131\u015f, \u00f6z\u00fc ki\u00e7ik, \u0259ks-s\u0259das\u0131 b\u00f6y\u00fck, insanlar\u0131 m\u0259\u011frur, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22668","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pub"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22668","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22668"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22668\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22671,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22668\/revisions\/22671"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22668"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22668"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22668"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}