{"id":26728,"date":"2018-03-25T15:00:22","date_gmt":"2018-03-25T11:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=26728"},"modified":"2018-03-25T15:35:45","modified_gmt":"2018-03-25T11:35:45","slug":"ilah%c9%99-imanova-pesman-hekay%c9%99","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=26728","title":{"rendered":"\u0130lah\u0259 \u0130MANOVA.”Pe\u015fman” (Hekay\u0259)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

D\u00fcz otuz s\u0259kkiz il bundan \u0259vv\u0259l ata olmaq sevincini ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. B\u0259lk\u0259 o zamanlar g\u0259nc oldu\u011fumdan atal\u0131q hissinin n\u0259 oldu\u011funu, m\u0259suliyy\u0259tini bel\u0259 d\u0259rk etmirdim. Valideynl\u0259rim, dostlar\u0131m m\u0259ni o\u011ful atas\u0131 olma\u011f\u0131m m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti il\u0259 t\u0259brik ed\u0259nd\u0259, orta m\u0259kt\u0259bi bitir\u0259rk\u0259n q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 diplomu \u0259lim\u0259 ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m v\u0259 daha sonra ali m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 q\u0259bul oldu\u011fum h\u0259min g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 oldu\u011fu kimi b\u00f6y\u00fck sevinc hissi ke\u00e7irtmi\u015fdim. Hissl\u0259rin s\u00f6zl\u0259rl\u0259 ifad\u0259 oluna bilm\u0259diyi h\u0259min an \u201cxo\u015fb\u0259xtlik n\u0259dir?\u201d sual\u0131n\u0131n cavab\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259rimd\u0259ki par\u0131lt\u0131, dodaqlar\u0131mdak\u0131 t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm idi. Sevdiyim v\u0259 u\u011fruna \u00e7ox c\u0259falara d\u00f6zd\u00fcy\u00fcm h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n sevgisinin h\u0259diyy\u0259si kimi d\u0259y\u0259rl\u0259ndirmi\u015fdim Allah\u0131n l\u00fctf\u00fcn\u00fc.
\n\u0130ll\u0259r nec\u0259 d\u0259 tez ke\u00e7ir! D\u00fcn\u0259n idi sanki… Otuz s\u0259kkiz il \u0259vv\u0259l h\u0259y\u0259canla quca\u011f\u0131ma al\u0131b, balaca \u0259lind\u0259n \u00f6pd\u00fcy\u00fcm k\u00f6rp\u0259m b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Bir zaman dizl\u0259rim\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131nan, h\u0259r g\u00fcn i\u015fd\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 \u201cM\u0259n\u0259 n\u0259 alm\u0131san?\u201d dey\u0259r\u0259k qar\u015f\u0131ma qa\u00e7an Faiq indi \u00f6z\u00fc ata idi. M\u00fch\u0259ndis i\u015fl\u0259yirdi: n\u0259v\u0259min dili il\u0259 des\u0259k, b\u00fct\u00fcn \u015f\u0259h\u0259ri i\u015f\u0131qland\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131.
\nN\u0259v\u0259m demi\u015fk\u0259n, bu g\u00fcn balaca Faiqimi-n\u0259v\u0259m Ruslan\u0131 da g\u00f6r\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259kdim. H\u0259r h\u0259ft\u0259 olmasa da, ayda bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 n\u0259v\u0259mi g\u00f6r\u0259, ba\u011fr\u0131ma basa bilirdim. Anas\u0131 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n atas\u0131 il\u0259, n\u0259n\u0259-babas\u0131 il\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fl\u0259rin\u0259 etiraz etm\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259, Faiqin i\u015fl\u0259ri \u00e7ox oldu\u011fundan onu biz\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259y\u0259 vaxt\u0131 olmurdu. Q\u0131nam\u0131ram, nec\u0259 d\u0259 olsa, i\u015f adam\u0131d\u0131r, ax\u0131.
\nKe\u00e7\u0259n ay ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m t\u0259qa\u00fcd\u00fc x\u0259rcl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259, daha do\u011frusu, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 yeni eyn\u0259k alma\u011fa q\u0131ymay\u0131b h\u0259m o\u011fluma, h\u0259m d\u0259 n\u0259v\u0259m\u0259 h\u0259diyy\u0259 alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Faiq\u0259 n\u0259 alaca\u011f\u0131ma uzun-uzad\u0131 q\u0259rar ver\u0259 bilm\u0259mi\u015fdim. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l i\u015fd\u0259n qay\u0131d\u0131b \u0259l-\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yumaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn hamam ota\u011f\u0131na ke\u00e7m\u0259zd\u0259n \u00f6nc\u0259 qolundan a\u00e7\u0131b masan\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 qoyark\u0259n saat\u0131n \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259sinin q\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 diqq\u0259timi \u00e7\u0259kdi. U\u015faq vaxt\u0131 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 saat\u0131m\u0131 o\u011furlay\u0131b qoluna taxan o\u011fluma bundan g\u00f6z\u0259l n\u0259 h\u0259diyy\u0259 ed\u0259 bil\u0259rdim ki! Yaln\u0131z ill\u0259r ke\u00e7dikc\u0259 insan zaman\u0131n, h\u0259tta \u00f6t\u00fcb ke\u00e7\u0259n h\u0259r d\u0259qiq\u0259nin bel\u0259 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r qiym\u0259tli v\u0259 d\u0259y\u0259rli oldu\u011funu anlay\u0131r…
\nFaiq ad g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 dostlar\u0131 il\u0259 qeyd etm\u0259k ist\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259, sonradan n\u0259v\u0259min \u201cBazar g\u00fcn\u00fcd\u00fcr\u201d dey\u0259r\u0259k biziml\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn israr etdiyini g\u00f6r\u00fcb dostlar\u0131n\u0131 ev\u0259 d\u0259v\u0259t etm\u0259kd\u0259n ba\u015fqa \u00e7ar\u0259si qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Dostlar\u0131 dey\u0259nd\u0259 ki, onun el\u0259 d\u0259 \u00e7ox dostu yox idi. \u00d6z h\u0259mya\u015f\u0131dlar\u0131 olan Ramin v\u0259 \u018fhm\u0259dl\u0259 ill\u0259rin dostu idil\u0259r. Bir yerd\u0259 \u00e7ox oturub-durduqlar\u0131ndand\u0131r, ya da s\u0131rf t\u0259sad\u00fcf, bilmir\u0259m, h\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc dem\u0259k olar ki, eyni xasiyy\u0259td\u0259 idi, eyni d\u0259 d\u00fcnyag\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 sahib idil\u0259r.
\nFaiqin telefonda dostlar\u0131n\u0131 ev\u0259 d\u0259v\u0259t ed\u0259c\u0259yind\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259rdar olan kimi yolda\u015f\u0131m Tamara vaxt itirm\u0259d\u0259n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 salat haz\u0131rlay\u0131b, kartofla g\u00f6b\u0259l\u0259k d\u0259 q\u0131zartd\u0131. S\u00fcfr\u0259ni b\u0259z\u0259yib n\u0259v\u0259sinin v\u0259 qonaqlar\u0131n yolunu g\u00f6zl\u0259rk\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259 unutmad\u0131, sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 qaydaya sal\u0131b t\u0259l\u0259sik d\u0131rnaqlar\u0131na boya \u00e7\u0259kdi. Tamara cavanl\u0131qdan bel\u0259dir: \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 qulluq etm\u0259yi, bax\u0131ml\u0131 olma\u011f\u0131 sevir. \u201cH\u0259r bir xan\u0131m h\u0259r ya\u015fda g\u00f6z\u0259l v\u0259 bax\u0131ml\u0131 olmal\u0131d\u0131r\u201d-s\u00f6zl\u0259ri dilind\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcr.<\/p>\n

H\u0259l\u0259 h\u0259y\u0259t qap\u0131s\u0131ndan s\u0259si e\u015fidil\u0259n n\u0259v\u0259m t\u0259l\u0259sik i\u00e7\u0259ri daxil olub boynuma sar\u0131ld\u0131. Doyunca \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259n-g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00f6pm\u0259y\u0259 imkan verm\u0259yib, atas\u0131n\u0131n Ramin \u0259misi il\u0259 onu evd\u0259n g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcy\u00fcnd\u0259n, bir az da \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 nec\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259ndikl\u0259rind\u0259n \u015f\u00f6vql\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. U\u015faq ki u\u015faq! \u018fyl\u0259nc\u0259 m\u0259rk\u0259zl\u0259rind\u0259 ke\u00e7irdiyi g\u00fcn deyil, atas\u0131 il\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r oldu\u011fu h\u0259r d\u0259qiq\u0259 onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6n\u0259mli idi. Nec\u0259 d\u0259 sevinirdi! H\u0259r g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fczd\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 qula\u011f\u0131ma \u201cBaba, nolar, el\u0259 et ki, anam atamla bar\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. Biz ham\u0131m\u0131z bir yerd\u0259, bir ail\u0259 olaraq ya\u015fayaq!\u201d-dey\u0259 p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131b \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 baxar, yalvar\u0131\u015f dolu bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla m\u0259nd\u0259n k\u00f6m\u0259k umard\u0131. Ona baxd\u0131qca \u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259r, d\u0259rind\u0259n k\u00f6ks \u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259rdim.
\nFaiql\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 bu m\u00f6vzuda s\u00f6hb\u0259t a\u00e7maq ist\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259timiz yar\u0131m\u00e7\u0131q qalard\u0131. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259sdiyini, i\u015fl\u0259rinin \u00e7ox oldu\u011funu dey\u0259r\u0259k s\u00f6hb\u0259td\u0259n yay\u0131nard\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, bu \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 q\u0259rarlar\u0131na, \u015f\u0259xsi h\u0259yat\u0131na m\u00fcdaxil\u0259 etm\u0259m\u0259yim\u0259 eyham vurard\u0131. Bilmir\u0259m… Amma hiss edirdim ki, ke\u00e7mi\u015fd\u0259 buraxd\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u0259hvl\u0259r\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 \u00e7ox pe\u015fmand\u0131r. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, s\u0259hvl\u0259rini etiraf etm\u0259y\u0259 q\u00fcruru yol vermirdi… H\u0259rd\u0259n is\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, s\u0259hvl\u0259rind\u0259n n\u0259tic\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b v\u0259 ail\u0259si il\u0259 bar\u0131\u015fmaq q\u0259rar\u0131na g\u0259lib. Amma n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 bir zamanlar se\u00e7ib-sevdiyi q\u0131zla aralar\u0131ndak\u0131 soyuq m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259 son verilmirdi.
\nEhh… \u0130ndiki g\u0259ncl\u0259rin fikirl\u0259rind\u0259n ba\u015f a\u00e7maq olmur ki! Gah ciddi q\u0259rar q\u0259bul edir, gah da asanl\u0131qla h\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259n vaz ke\u00e7irl\u0259r.
\nYegan\u0259 o\u011flumun sevgisin\u0259 v\u0259 se\u00e7imin\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259tl\u0259 yana\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. El ad\u0259tiyl\u0259 el\u00e7i gedib, ni\u015fan-toy etmi\u015fdim o\u011fluma. O vaxtlar Bak\u0131 D\u00f6vl\u0259t Universitetind\u0259 N\u0259z\u0259ri Fizika kafedras\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fcdiri v\u0259zif\u0259sind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdim. AMEA-n\u0131n m\u00fcxbir \u00fczvi, Universitetin \u0259n h\u00f6rm\u0259tli m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rind\u0259n biri idim. Professor Rafiq K\u0259rimov ad\u0131 bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 \u0259fsan\u0259dir m\u00fc\u0259llim v\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259rin dilind\u0259. Kvant mexanikas\u0131na dair yaz\u0131 v\u0259 m\u0259qal\u0259l\u0259rim maraqla oxunar, kitablar\u0131m d\u0259rc olunard\u0131. Bax, bu r\u0259fd\u0259ki kitablar var ha, onlar\u0131n b\u00f6y\u00fck hiss\u0259si m\u0259nim m\u00fc\u0259llifi oldu\u011fum \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259rdir. B\u0259zil\u0259ri bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 d\u0259rs v\u0259saiti kimi istifad\u0259 olunur.
\nN\u0259v\u0259m n\u0259n\u0259sinin ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qat\u0131r, Faiq is\u0259 dostu Raminl\u0259 bir k\u0259narda oturub astadan s\u00f6hb\u0259t edirdil\u0259r. \u00dczl\u0259rinin ifad\u0259sind\u0259n aralar\u0131ndak\u0131 s\u00f6hb\u0259tin ciddi oldu\u011fu hiss olunurdu. Bu aralar Faiqin i\u015f h\u0259yat\u0131nda s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 oldu\u011fundan x\u0259b\u0259rim var idi. \u00d6z i\u015fl\u0259ri, \u015f\u0259xsi h\u0259yat\u0131 bar\u0259d\u0259 m\u0259niml\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmasa da, amma anas\u0131ndan he\u00e7 n\u0259 gizl\u0259d\u0259 bilmirdi. Gizl\u0259tmirdi… U\u015faql\u0131qdan anas\u0131na ba\u011fl\u0131 idi Faiq.
\nTamara dey\u0259s\u0259n s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131, tez-tez yem\u0259kl\u0259rin soyudu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u0259yib, Faiqd\u0259n \u018fhm\u0259di x\u0259b\u0259r al\u0131rd\u0131. \u018fhm\u0259d is\u0259 gecikirdi.
\nRamin telefonu k\u0259nara qoyub:
\n\u2500G\u0259lirl\u0259r, yoldad\u0131rlar, \u2013dedi.
\nFaiqd\u0259n f\u0259rqli olaraq, Ramin h\u00fcnd\u00fcrboy, iric\u00fcss\u0259li bir g\u0259nc idi. \u0130dman Akademiyas\u0131n\u0131 bitirmi\u015fdi. \u0130ndi d\u0259 m\u0259\u015fq\u00e7i i\u015fl\u0259yirdi. Otuz be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131 tamam olmas\u0131na baxmayaraq, h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 subay idi. Evl\u0259nm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Faiq maddi v\u0259ziyy\u0259tinin yax\u015f\u0131 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, \u00f6gey anas\u0131n\u0131n da ona g\u00fcn a\u011flamaq ist\u0259m\u0259diyini des\u0259 d\u0259, g\u0259ncin \u201csubayl\u0131q-sultanl\u0131qd\u0131r\u201d sevdas\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131nda oldu\u011funu hiss etm\u0259m\u0259k m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyildi.
\n\u018fhm\u0259d\u0259 g\u0259linc\u0259 is\u0259, dostlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda \u0259n yara\u015f\u0131ql\u0131s\u0131, dey\u0259s\u0259n, el\u0259 \u0259n \u015fansl\u0131s\u0131 da o idi. \u0130\u015f h\u0259yat\u0131 u\u011furlu oldu\u011fu kimi, geni\u015f d\u00fcnyag\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fc v\u0259 savad\u0131, k\u00fcbar \u0259dalar\u0131 il\u0259 q\u0131zlar\u0131n, qad\u0131nlar\u0131n h\u0259r zaman diqq\u0259tini \u00e7\u0259km\u0259yi bacarard\u0131. \u0130fad\u0259li bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131, m\u0259nal\u0131 t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fc il\u0259 bu g\u00fcn\u0259d\u0259k ne\u00e7\u0259-ne\u00e7\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131n, qad\u0131n\u0131n q\u0259lbini f\u0259th ed\u0259 bils\u0259 d\u0259, s\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131b arxada g\u00f6z\u00fcya\u015fl\u0131 buraxd\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6z\u0259ll\u0259rin aras\u0131ndan \u0259sl sevgisini is\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 tapa bilm\u0259mi\u015fdi.
\nRamin \u201cG\u0259lirl\u0259r, yoldad\u0131rlar\u201d dey\u0259nd\u0259 Faiq \u018fhm\u0259di ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131 il\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r ev\u0259 d\u0259v\u0259t etdiyini s\u00f6yl\u0259di. \u018fhm\u0259din ni\u015fanlanmas\u0131 x\u0259b\u0259rin\u0259, d\u00fcz\u00fc, bir q\u0259d\u0259r t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndim. B\u0259zi insanlar h\u0259r g\u00fcn yeni bir paltar geyinm\u0259yi xo\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kimi, \u018fhm\u0259d d\u0259 h\u0259r yeni h\u0259ft\u0259y\u0259, yeni aya yeni bir e\u015fq mac\u0259ras\u0131 il\u0259 ba\u015flard\u0131. Bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, \u00fcr\u0259kl\u0259ri f\u0259th etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u0259ncliyind\u0259n, g\u00f6z\u0259lliyind\u0259n, cazib\u0259sind\u0259n bacard\u0131\u011f\u0131 q\u0259d\u0259r istifad\u0259 ed\u0259rdi. Amma bu c\u0259h\u0259tin\u0259 baxmayaraq, onun g\u00f6z\u0259l xasiyy\u0259ti var idi. <\/p>\n

N\u0259hay\u0259t ki!
\nH\u0259y\u0259t qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n c\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131 e\u015fidil\u0259n kimi, Ruslan sevinc\u0259k \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 atd\u0131. \u018fhm\u0259din qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na qa\u00e7\u0131b, b\u00f6y\u00fck ki\u015fil\u0259r kimi \u0259l verib g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u018fyilib \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00f6pm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259n ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131na is\u0259 \u00f6t\u0259ri n\u0259z\u0259r sal\u0131b geri \u00e7\u0259kildi, \u00f6pm\u0259y\u0259 icaz\u0259 verm\u0259di. \u018fhm\u0259din sevgisini sanki ondan o\u011furlama\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan q\u0131z\u0131 u\u015faq q\u0131sqancl\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 s\u00fcz\u00fcr, a\u00e7\u0131q-a\u015fkar diqq\u0259ti \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130lk g\u00fcnd\u0259n q\u0131za qar\u015f\u0131 q\u0259r\u0259zli m\u00f6vqe tutmu\u015fdu n\u0259v\u0259m. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, \u018fhm\u0259d \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131 il\u0259 balaca dostu aras\u0131ndak\u0131 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259ri yoluna qoymaq el\u0259 d\u0259 asan olmayacaqd\u0131.
\nRuslan \u018fhm\u0259di \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u0259n yax\u0131n dostu bilirdi. X\u0259trini \u00e7ox ist\u0259yirdi. H\u0259tta atas\u0131n\u0131 dil\u0259 tuta bilm\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u018fhm\u0259din q\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131na girir, \u00f6z ist\u0259yin\u0259 nail olurdu. D\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc des\u0259m, Ruslan\u0131n \u0259rk\u00f6y\u00fcnl\u00fck v\u0259 \u015f\u0131ltaql\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259b\u0259bkar\u0131 el\u0259 \u018fhm\u0259din \u00f6z\u00fc idi.
\n\u018fhm\u0259d h\u0259r k\u0259sl\u0259 salamla\u015f\u0131b g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fckd\u0259n sonra:
\n\u2500Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, bir az gecikdik. Ni\u015fanl\u0131m Aylin! \u2013dey\u0259r\u0259k q\u0131z\u0131 biz\u0259 t\u0259qdim etdi.
\nAylinin dodaqlar\u0131ndan qopan k\u0259lm\u0259l\u0259ri e\u015fitm\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259, x\u0259fif t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fcnd\u0259n v\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259n s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259n ehtiram dolu salam\u0131n\u0131 q\u0259bul etdim. Faiq v\u0259 Raminin davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndan onlar\u0131n \u0259vv\u0259ld\u0259n tan\u0131\u015f olduqlar\u0131n\u0131 hiss etdim. Bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 v\u0259 t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fc il\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259ki s\u00f6zl\u0259ri dil\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259yi bacaran Tamara \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 \u018fhm\u0259d\u0259, sonra q\u0131za yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 oldu\u011fu kimi bu d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131 insan\u0131n yana\u011f\u0131na toxundurub havan\u0131 \u00f6pd\u00fc.
\n\u00d6z \u00f6m\u00fcr-g\u00fcn yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kim tan\u0131maz ki! Xasiyy\u0259tin\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 b\u0259l\u0259d oldu\u011fum h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndan Aylin\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tini duydum. D\u00fcz\u00fc, ilk bax\u0131\u015fdan m\u0259n d\u0259, sad\u0259, bax\u0131ms\u0131z, o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 cazib\u0259dar olmayan Aylini h\u0259r zaman dig\u0259r g\u0259ncl\u0259rd\u0259n \u00f6z boy-buxunu, yara\u015f\u0131q v\u0259 cazib\u0259si il\u0259 f\u0259rql\u0259n\u0259n \u018fhm\u0259d\u0259 yara\u015fd\u0131rmad\u0131m. N\u0259 bilim… M\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259tin g\u00f6z\u00fc kordur, deyirl\u0259r. \u018fhm\u0259din z\u00f6vq\u00fcn\u0259 b\u0259l\u0259d oldu\u011fumu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcns\u0259m d\u0259, dey\u0259s\u0259n yan\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, ax\u0131.
\nAylin! H\u0259, o \u018fhm\u0259din g\u00f6z\u0259llik ideal\u0131ndan \u00e7ox uzaq idi. \u018fynind\u0259ki a\u011f k\u00f6yn\u0259yi v\u0259 qara \u015falvar\u0131 onu az qala m\u0259kt\u0259bliy\u0259 ox\u015fad\u0131rd\u0131. Az\u0259rbaycan q\u0131zlar\u0131na m\u0259xsus z\u0259rif v\u0259 inc\u0259 \u00fcz cizgil\u0259ri, h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t etdikc\u0259 dal\u011falanan uzun qara sa\u00e7lar\u0131, h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131na n\u0259z\u0259r salanda i\u015f\u0131ldayan parlaq qara g\u00f6zl\u0259ri, h\u0259yadan q\u0131zaran yanaqlar\u0131, \u00e7\u0259hray\u0131 dodaqlar\u0131ndak\u0131 x\u0259fif t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fc bel\u0259, onu g\u00f6z\u0259llik ilah\u0259si adland\u0131rmaq olmazd\u0131. N\u0259z\u0259r\u0259\u00e7arpmayan, sad\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndak\u0131 sad\u0259l\u00f6vh ifad\u0259 tamamlay\u0131rd\u0131. Q\u0259rib\u0259 d\u0259 olsa, sonradan h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 Aylinin g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 baxanda d\u0259rinlikl\u0259rind\u0259 f\u0259rqli bir ruh hiss edirdim. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 onun \u00f6z\u0259lliyi d\u0259 el\u0259 bu idi. T\u0259miz ilahi sevgisi, m\u0259sum bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 idi onun \u018fhm\u0259din g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 f\u0259rql\u0259ndir\u0259n. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259… B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 yan\u0131l\u0131ram…
\nDeyib-g\u00fcl\u0259n, \u015f\u0259n v\u0259 zarafatc\u0131l \u018fhm\u0259dd\u0259n f\u0259rqli olaraq, Aylin \u00e7ox sakit v\u0259 susqun idi. G\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259n b\u0259ri d\u0259 dem\u0259k olar ki, he\u00e7 k\u0259sl\u0259 bir k\u0259lm\u0259 bel\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Arada bir ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131b ota\u011fa, s\u00fcfr\u0259 arxas\u0131nda m\u00fczakir\u0259l\u0259r aparan dostlara v\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 n\u0259z\u0259r sal\u0131r, Ruslan\u0131n \u015f\u0131ltaq davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcml\u0259 izl\u0259dikd\u0259n sonra yenid\u0259n n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rini d\u00f6\u015f\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 zill\u0259yirdi. Dar\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131, s\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u0259rhal hiss olunurdu. \u0130lk bax\u0131\u015fdan yeni m\u00fchit\u0259, yeni insanlara uy\u011funla\u015fma\u011f\u0131 bacarmayan bir insan t\u0259sirini ba\u011f\u0131\u015flayrd\u0131. \u00c7ox g\u00fcman ki, balaca q\u0259lbinin \u00f6z b\u00f6y\u00fck d\u00fcnyas\u0131 var idi. V\u0259 bizim evin ab\u00fc-havas\u0131 onun d\u00fcnyas\u0131ndan \u00e7ox uzaq v\u0259 f\u0259rqli idi. \u018flind\u0259ki salfet\u0131n k\u0259narlar\u0131n\u0131 qatlamaqla vaxt\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Ruslan da \u018fhm\u0259din yan\u0131nda \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yer etdikd\u0259n sonra, dem\u0259k olar ki, tamamil\u0259 k\u0259narda qald\u0131. S\u00fcfr\u0259 arxas\u0131nda i\u015ftahla yeyib-i\u00e7\u0259n dostlardan v\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131mdan f\u0259rqli olaraq, bayaqdan b\u0259ri dilin\u0259 d\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 vurmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131.
\nTelevizorun s\u0259sini al\u0131b pultu bir k\u0259nara qoydum. Aya\u011fa qalx\u0131b masaya yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131m, \u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc \u018fhm\u0259d\u0259 tutub:
\n\u2500\u018fhm\u0259d, ni\u015fanl\u0131na qulluq et,\u2013dedim.
\nYaln\u0131z indi, m\u0259nim s\u0259simi e\u015fid\u0259nd\u0259 h\u0259r k\u0259s sanki Aylinin varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 xat\u0131rlad\u0131. Bir anl\u0131q diqq\u0259t m\u0259rk\u0259zind\u0259 olmaqdan s\u0131x\u0131lan q\u0131z is\u0259 bax\u0131\u015flara tab g\u0259tir\u0259 bilm\u0259yib n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rini h\u0259r k\u0259sd\u0259n yay\u0131nd\u0131rd\u0131. S\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131, bir az da utand\u0131\u011f\u0131 lal\u0259t\u0259k q\u0131zaran yanaqlar\u0131ndan hiss olunurdu. G\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259ki ifad\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259ldikd\u0259 is\u0259, dar\u0131xmaqdan daha \u00e7ox bir bo\u015fluq v\u0259 t\u0259nhal\u0131\u011f\u0131, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0259m-q\u00fcss\u0259ni \u0259ks etdirirdi. N\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259, \u0259min idim ki, onun biz\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259yin\u0259 d\u0259 \u018fhm\u0259d israr etmi\u015fdi.
\nBa\u015f\u0131 dostlar\u0131na v\u0259 Ruslana qar\u0131\u015fan \u018fhm\u0259d tez s\u0259hvini d\u00fcz\u0259ltdi, g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yib ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131na meyv\u0259 \u015fir\u0259si s\u00fczd\u00fc, bo\u015fqab\u0131na bir ne\u00e7\u0259 qa\u015f\u0131q paytaxt salat\u0131 qoydu.
\nB\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bizl\u0259rd\u0259n utan\u0131b \u00e7\u0259kindiyind\u0259n, \u0259lini s\u00fcfr\u0259y\u0259 uzatmaq ist\u0259mirdi.
\n\u2500Utanma, q\u0131z\u0131m, \u00f6z evin bil, \u2013deyib yen\u0259 d\u0259 qay\u0131d\u0131b \u00f6z kresloma \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdim. Evd\u0259 qonaqlar oldu\u011fundan, televizorun s\u0259sini d\u0259 \u00e7ox art\u0131ra bilmirdim.
\nN\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rim is\u0259 Aylind\u0259 idi. G\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7\u0131b yumdu. \u018flini s\u00fcfr\u0259y\u0259 uzadark\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131b g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259m\u0259yind\u0259n bunu m\u0259ni q\u0131rmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn etdiyini anlad\u0131m. H\u00f6rm\u0259t v\u0259 ehtiram\u0131na cavab olaraq m\u0259n d\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259dim.
\n\u018fhm\u0259d is\u0259 irad\u0131mdan n\u0259tic\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xartm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. B\u00f6y\u00fck m\u0259mnuniyy\u0259tl\u0259 ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131na qulluq edirdi. Ona g\u00f6b\u0259l\u0259k v\u0259 kartof q\u0131zartmas\u0131 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 q\u0131z ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n \u0259lini saxlad\u0131, qula\u011f\u0131na n\u0259 is\u0259 p\u0131\u00e7\u0131ldad\u0131. \u018fhm\u0259d ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259rp\u0259d\u0259r\u0259k buludu masan\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 qoydu.
\nTamara tez dill\u0259ndi:
\n\u2500Noldu, \u018fhm\u0259d? Ni\u015fanl\u0131n haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m yem\u0259kl\u0259ri b\u0259y\u0259nm\u0259di?
\nAylin bu s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n diksinib \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131ma, sonra m\u0259n\u0259 bir anl\u0131q n\u0259z\u0259r sald\u0131, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 \u0259ydi. P\u0259rt olmu\u015fdu. H\u0259min an Aylinl\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r yaln\u0131z \u018fhm\u0259d deyil, el\u0259 m\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 p\u0259rt oldum.
\n\u2500 Yox, o n\u0259 s\u00f6zd\u00fcr, Tamara xan\u0131m! \u00c7ox dadl\u0131d\u0131r, \u0259liniz\u0259 sa\u011fl\u0131q.
\nQ\u0131z\u0131n cavab\u0131 Tamaran\u0131 raz\u0131 salmad\u0131, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u018fhm\u0259d\u0259 tutub ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bulad\u0131:
\n\u2500Fikir verir\u0259m, dem\u0259k olar ki dilin\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 vurmay\u0131b.
\nP\u0259rtliyi aradan qald\u0131rma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan \u018fhm\u0259d \u00f6z \u015firin dilini i\u015f\u0259 sald\u0131:
\n\u2500Siz onu \u00fczrl\u00fc bilin! \u018fslind\u0259, Aylin el\u0259 d\u0259 \u00e7ox yey\u0259n deyil. Amma salat xo\u015flayand\u0131r, imtina etm\u0259di. Salat is\u0259 \u00e7ox dadl\u0131 idi. D\u00fcz deyil, Aylin? \u2013Aylinin cavab\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259yib, s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 davam etdi, \u2013Bilirsiz, Tamara xan\u0131m, s\u00f6z\u00fcn d\u00fcz\u00fc, ni\u015fanl\u0131m g\u00f6b\u0259l\u0259k xo\u015flam\u0131r.
\n\u018fhm\u0259d h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 oldu\u011fu kimi indi d\u0259 \u00f6z s\u00f6zl\u0259ri v\u0259 t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fc il\u0259 Tamaran\u0131n k\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fc alma\u011f\u0131 bacard\u0131. \u00dcz\u00fc g\u00fcld\u00fc. Qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131 s\u00fcz\u00fcb:
\n\u2500S\u0259n ye! Ye, bir d\u0259f\u0259 dad\u0131na bax h\u0259l\u0259! \u00c7ox xo\u015funa g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k! \u2013dedi v\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f \u00e7evrilib, \u2013Rafiq m\u0259nim haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn yem\u0259kl\u0259ri xo\u015flay\u0131r v\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 d\u0259 deyir ki, h\u0259l\u0259 indiy\u0259 kimi he\u00e7 k\u0259s onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259nim kimi dadl\u0131 g\u00f6b\u0259l\u0259k qovurmay\u0131b.
\nAylinin n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259ri m\u0259n\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259ldi, g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k:
\n \u2500Rafiq day\u0131, g\u0259lin, siz d\u0259 biziml\u0259 oturun da!\u2013deyib \u0259liyl\u0259 bo\u015f stula d\u0259v\u0259t etdi.
\nQ\u0131z\u0131n s\u0259sind\u0259ki s\u0259mimiyy\u0259t v\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131 h\u0259min an m\u0259ni \u00e7ox duy\u011fuland\u0131rd\u0131. Aylinin t\u0259klifin\u0259 cavab verm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim ki, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259ki kimi Tamara m\u0259ni qabaqlad\u0131:
\n\u2500O yeyib… Sizd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l m\u0259n ona yem\u0259k d\u0259, \u00e7ay da vermi\u015f\u0259m!
\nAylin g\u00f6zl\u0259rimin i\u00e7in\u0259 bax\u0131b susdu. Onun susqunlu\u011fundak\u0131 s\u00f6zl\u0259r, bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndan s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259n k\u0259lm\u0259l\u0259r qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc itirdim bir anl\u0131q. H\u0259min an m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, bu g\u0259nc q\u0131z q\u0259lbimin d\u0259rinlikl\u0259rin\u0259 boylanma\u011f\u0131 bacard\u0131. Fikrimd\u0259n, q\u0259lbimd\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259ri, h\u0259tta he\u00e7 k\u0259sl\u0259 b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim hissl\u0259rd\u0259n bel\u0259 birc\u0259 bax\u0131\u015f\u0131yla agah oldu sanki. G\u00f6zl\u0259rimin i\u00e7in\u0259, daha do\u011frusu, q\u0259lbimin d\u0259rinlikl\u0259rin\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259ltdiyi n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rin\u0259 tab g\u0259tirm\u0259yib ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7evirs\u0259m d\u0259, onun bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6z \u00fcz\u0259rimd\u0259 hiss etm\u0259kd\u0259 idim. N\u0259 gizl\u0259dim, bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 alt\u0131nda s\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131, \u0259zildiyimi hiss etdikc\u0259 uzaqla\u015fmaq ist\u0259yirdim. Q\u0259fil \u00f6sk\u00fcr\u0259k m\u0259ni v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131. M\u0259tb\u0259x\u0259 ke\u00e7dim. Bacard\u0131qca daha \u00e7ox orada l\u0259ngim\u0259k, h\u0259tta \u00f6z ota\u011f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0259kilm\u0259k fikrin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm. Soyuq v\u0259 \u015faxtal\u0131 yanvar g\u00fcn\u00fc olmasayd\u0131, parka g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 ged\u0259r, ya da t\u0259qa\u00fcd\u00e7\u00fc qon\u015fumla bir az n\u0259rd oynard\u0131m. Amma yox e… \u0130ndil\u0259rd\u0259 \u201cX\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259r\u201d ba\u015flayacaqd\u0131. Ota\u011fa qay\u0131d\u0131b, kresloya-\u00f6z yerim\u0259 ke\u00e7dim.
\nN\u0259v\u0259min m\u0259kt\u0259b mac\u0259ralar\u0131n\u0131 dinl\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259, g\u00f6zalt\u0131ndan yen\u0259 d\u0259 Aylini izl\u0259yirdim. Qo\u00e7aq q\u0131za b\u0259nz\u0259yirdi. Tamara dan\u0131\u015fa-dan\u0131\u015fa bir ne\u00e7\u0259 bula\u015f\u0131q bo\u015fqab\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r, b\u00fct\u00fcn masan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131r\u0131b s\u0259liq\u0259y\u0259 sald\u0131. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin q\u0131ra\u011f\u0131na qoyulan \u015firniyyatlar\u0131 v\u0259 \u00f6zl\u0259ri il\u0259 g\u0259tirdiyi tortu s\u00fcfr\u0259y\u0259 qoyub yenid\u0259n m\u0259tb\u0259x\u0259 ke\u00e7di. M\u0259tb\u0259xin yolunu \u0259zb\u0259rl\u0259mi\u015fdi.
\n\u018fhm\u0259d:
\n\u2500Aylin, bir \u00e7ay haz\u0131rla, tortu da k\u0259s\u0259k, \u2013dey\u0259nd\u0259 art\u0131q d\u0259m\u0259 qoydu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u0259di.
\nG\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259dim. \u018fhm\u0259din g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259ki m\u0259mnunluq da n\u0259z\u0259rimd\u0259n qa\u00e7mad\u0131. H\u0259min an ilk bax\u0131\u015fdan xo\u015flamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu q\u0131z\u0131n \u018fhm\u0259din q\u0259lbin\u0259 nec\u0259 yol tapa bilm\u0259si bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm: sad\u0259liyi, s\u0259mimiliyi, bir d\u0259 f\u0259dakarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 onu \u018fhm\u0259din g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259 h\u0259r k\u0259sd\u0259n f\u0259rqli etmi\u015fdi. Bir anl\u0131q Faiqin Ruslan\u0131n anas\u0131 il\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rini xat\u0131rlad\u0131m. O\u011flum n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r diqq\u0259tsiz v\u0259 evd\u0259n k\u0259nar \u0259yl\u0259nc\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 meyl etm\u0259si il\u0259 nikah\u0131n\u0131n pozulmas\u0131nda g\u00fcnahkar idis\u0259, yolda\u015f\u0131 da bir o q\u0259d\u0259r \u015f\u00f6hr\u0259tp\u0259r\u0259stliyi, lov\u011fal\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rin g\u0259rginl\u0259\u015fm\u0259sin\u0259 t\u0259kan vermi\u015fdi. \u0130ndi Aylin\u0259 baxd\u0131qca, \u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259 \u018fhm\u0259d kimi daha bir o\u011flum olmas\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259yir, ka\u015f ki g\u00f6z\u0259l v\u0259 cazib\u0259dar g\u0259linim d\u0259 bu q\u0131zt\u0259k sad\u0259 v\u0259 mehriban olayd\u0131, dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm.
\nH\u0259mi\u015f\u0259ki kimi bu d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 t\u0259\u015f\u0259bb\u00fcskarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u018fhm\u0259d \u00f6z \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. Tortun \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259ki \u015fam\u0131 yand\u0131r\u0131b Faiq\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 arzu tutmas\u0131n\u0131 dey\u0259n kimi, Ruslan atas\u0131ndan c\u0259ld t\u0259rp\u0259nib \u015fam\u0131 \u00fcf\u00fcrd\u00fc.
\n\u2500Ruslan! Neyn\u0259din? \u2013\u018fhm\u0259d naraz\u0131 halda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yell\u0259di, \u2013Bu g\u00fcn atan\u0131n ad g\u00fcn\u00fcd\u00fcr! S\u0259nin ad g\u00fcn\u00fcn deyil, ax\u0131! \u015eam\u0131 atan \u00fcf\u00fcr\u00fcb arzu tutmal\u0131 idi…
\nRuslan h\u0259r \u015f\u0131ltaql\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6z yuman dostunun irad\u0131na dodaqlar\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fczd\u00fc, atas\u0131na q\u0131s\u0131l\u0131b incik s\u0259sl\u0259:
\n\u2500M\u0259n atam\u0131n yerin\u0259 arzu tutdum… \u2013dedi.
\nRuslan\u0131n h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tini s\u0131radan bir nadinclik kimi q\u0259bul ed\u0259n \u018fhm\u0259d:
\n\u2500Yax\u015f\u0131, g\u0259l bel\u0259 ed\u0259k, Ruslan, indi \u015fam\u0131 yand\u0131r\u0131r\u0131q, amma bu d\u0259f\u0259 atan arzu tutacaq, \u2013dedi.
\n\u018fhm\u0259din t\u0259klifi Ruslan\u0131n \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259n olmad\u0131. Naraz\u0131 halda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yell\u0259yib, \u0259lini tutub saxlad\u0131, al\u0131\u015fqan\u0131 yand\u0131rma\u011fa qoymad\u0131. S\u0259si titr\u0259y\u0259-titr\u0259y\u0259:
\n\u2500\u0130st\u0259yir\u0259m ki, atam yen\u0259 d\u0259 biziml\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r ya\u015fas\u0131n! Ham\u0131m\u0131z bir evd\u0259 ya\u015fayaq…
\nQeyri-ixtiyari \u018fhm\u0259d \u0259lini a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sald\u0131. F\u0259rqin\u0259 bel\u0259 varmadan al\u0131\u015fqan\u0131 cibin\u0259 qoydu. Balaca dostunun k\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fc q\u0131rma\u011fa q\u0131ymad\u0131. \u018frk\u00f6y\u00fcn dostunun hissl\u0259rini, arzusunu h\u00f6rm\u0259t v\u0259 anlay\u0131\u015fla qar\u015f\u0131lamaq u\u015fa\u011fa b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259rin s\u0259hvl\u0259rini izah etm\u0259kd\u0259n, \u201cniy\u0259\u201d v\u0259 \u201cn\u0259d\u0259n\u201d suallar\u0131na cavab verm\u0259kd\u0259n daha asan idi.
\nU\u015fa\u011f\u0131n s\u00f6zl\u0259ri h\u0259r k\u0259si duy\u011fuland\u0131rsa da, amma \u0259n \u00e7ox Faiqin q\u0259lbin\u0259 t\u0259sir etmi\u015fdi. O\u011flunu \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 s\u0131x\u0131b sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 tumarlay\u0131b \u00f6pd\u00fc.
\n\u015e\u0259n \u0259hval-ruhiyy\u0259 bir an\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 s\u00fckutla \u0259v\u0259zl\u0259nmi\u015fdi.
\nS\u00fckutu Aylin\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259t etm\u0259kl\u0259 \u018fhm\u0259d pozdu:
\n\u2500Aylin, \u00e7ay d\u0259m al\u0131bsa, z\u0259hm\u0259t olmasa…
\nEvin xan\u0131m\u0131 oldu\u011funu xat\u0131rlayan Tamara, dey\u0259s\u0259n, q\u0131za \u0259ziyy\u0259t verm\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn t\u0259\u015f\u0259bb\u00fcs\u00fc \u00f6z \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. Aylinin \u0259lind\u0259n sinini al\u0131b \u00e7aylar\u0131 paylad\u0131. \u0130lk fincan\u0131 s\u0259birsiz n\u0259v\u0259min qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na qoydu\u011fu zaman Aylin geri \u00e7\u0259kildi, \u0259vv\u0259lki kimi s\u0259ssizc\u0259 s\u00fcfr\u0259 arxas\u0131nda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdi. Evin xan\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n t\u0259\u015f\u0259bb\u00fcskarl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan sonra daha he\u00e7 n\u0259y\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259t etm\u0259y\u0259n q\u0131z\u0131n n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259ri sinid\u0259ki sonuncu, \u00e7ox g\u00fcman ki, m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn t\u00f6kd\u00fcy\u00fc h\u0259min fincanda ili\u015fib qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.
\nRuslan\u0131n davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131, s\u00f6zl\u0259ri ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n \u0259hval\u0131n\u0131 alt-\u00fcst etmi\u015fdi. El\u0259 Tamaran\u0131n da. Yaz\u0131q qad\u0131n \u00fczg\u00fcn hal\u0131 il\u0259 \u00e7ay\u0131m\u0131 sinid\u0259 unutmu\u015fdu… Son ill\u0259r o da m\u0259nim kimi unutqan olmu\u015fdu…<\/p>\n

*******
\nSoyuq olmas\u0131na baxmayaraq, hava \u00e7ox t\u0259miz idi. M.V.Lomonosov ad\u0131na Moskva D\u00f6vl\u0259t Universitetind\u0259 t\u0259hsil alark\u0259n, h\u0259m\u00e7inin Xarkovda h\u0259rbi xidm\u0259t ke\u00e7\u0259rk\u0259n d\u0259 soyuq torpaqlar\u0131n havas\u0131na \u00f6yr\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdim. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 Bak\u0131n\u0131n k\u00fcl\u0259kli, \u015faxtal\u0131 havas\u0131 m\u0259ni qorxutmurdu. Havadan as\u0131l\u0131 olmayaraq, s\u0259h\u0259r v\u0259 ax\u015fam g\u0259zintisi m\u0259nim kimi t\u0259qa\u00fcdd\u0259 olan ya\u015fl\u0131 insanlar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259slind\u0259 \u00e7ox faydal\u0131d\u0131r.
\nH\u0259y\u0259t qap\u0131s\u0131ndan i\u00e7\u0259ri gir\u0259nd\u0259 qaraj\u0131n yan\u0131l\u0131 i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 diqq\u0259timi \u00e7\u0259kdi. \u0130\u00e7\u0259ri boyland\u0131m. Ruslan f\u00fcrs\u0259td\u0259n istifad\u0259 edib dostlara velosipedini t\u0259mir etdirirdi. Y\u0259qin ki, yolda\u015f\u0131m da indi i\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259 Aylinl\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t edir, maraqla ondan \u018fhm\u0259dl\u0259 nec\u0259 v\u0259 harada tan\u0131\u015f olduqlar\u0131n\u0131 soru\u015furdu. \u00d6zl\u00fcy\u00fcmd\u0259, \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131 birba\u015fa \u00f6z ota\u011f\u0131ma ke\u00e7m\u0259yi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. H\u0259m xan\u0131mlar\u0131n s\u00f6hb\u0259tin\u0259 mane olmaz, h\u0259m d\u0259 bir az uzan\u0131b dinc\u0259l\u0259rdim.
\nAyaq saxlad\u0131m. Qula\u011f\u0131ma g\u0259l\u0259n s\u0259s ger\u00e7\u0259k idi? H\u0259y\u0259canla qonaq ota\u011f\u0131na t\u0259r\u0259f add\u0131mlad\u0131m. B\u0259li, ger\u00e7\u0259k idi… \u0130ll\u0259r sonra ilk d\u0259f\u0259 evimizd\u0259 piano s\u0259sl\u0259ri e\u015fidilirdi. Q\u0131z\u0131m ail\u0259 qurub h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 il\u0259 Leninqrada k\u00f6\u00e7d\u00fckd\u0259n sonra el\u0259c\u0259 divar\u0131n dibin\u0259 q\u0131s\u0131l\u0131b qalan, yeddi-s\u0259kkiz ild\u0259n \u00e7ox istifad\u0259 olunmayan bu piano da m\u0259nim kimi t\u0259nha qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n fikrind\u0259n pianonu kim\u0259s\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamaq, ya da satmaq fikri ke\u00e7s\u0259 d\u0259, etiraz etmi\u015fdim: bir g\u00fcn, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn son g\u00fcnl\u0259rind\u0259 olsa bel\u0259, yen\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n ifas\u0131n\u0131 dinl\u0259m\u0259yi x\u0259yal etmi\u015fdim… Faiqd\u0259n f\u0259rqli olaraq, q\u0131z\u0131m m\u0259ni \u00e7ox ist\u0259yirdi, h\u0259tta anas\u0131ndan da \u00e7ox.
\nQap\u0131 aras\u0131nda dayan\u0131b Aylinin ifas\u0131n\u0131 dinl\u0259dim. Dinl\u0259dikc\u0259 d\u0259 k\u00f6vr\u0259lir, duy\u011fulan\u0131rd\u0131m. Xatir\u0259l\u0259rimi canland\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 bu ifa. G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda g\u0259nclik vaxtlar\u0131m, q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n \u015f\u0131ltaql\u0131qlar\u0131 g\u0259lib dururdu. Bir anl\u0131q q\u0131z\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn o q\u0259d\u0259r dar\u0131xd\u0131m ki! Aylin\u0259 nec\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bel\u0259 hiss etm\u0259dim.
\nS\u0259simin titr\u0259diyini hiss etdim:
\n\u2500\u00c7ox sa\u011f ol, q\u0131z\u0131m!
\nOtaqda he\u00e7 k\u0259sin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 z\u0259nn ed\u0259n Aylin diksindi. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc itirdi:
\n\u2500\u00dczrl\u00fc bilin, icaz\u0259siz…
\n\u2500Yox, yox! Bils\u0259n ki n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r sevindirdin m\u0259ni!, \u2013deyib f\u0259rqin\u0259 varmadan q\u0131z\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259n tutdum, \u2013Q\u0131z\u0131m, xahi\u015f edir\u0259m, yen\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 \u00e7al!
\nS\u0259simd\u0259ki yalvar\u0131\u015f\u0131 hiss ed\u0259n g\u0259nc q\u0131z m\u0259ni q\u0131rmad\u0131. Aylinin pianonun a\u011f-qara dill\u0259ri \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 g\u0259z\u0259n inc\u0259 barmaqlar\u0131 q\u0259lbimin sar\u0131 simin\u0259 toxunmu\u015fdu. G\u00f6z\u0259l ifas\u0131 ruhumun d\u0259rinlikl\u0259rin\u0259 enir, m\u0259ni d\u0259 \u00f6z d\u00fcnyas\u0131na \u00e7\u0259kib apar\u0131rd\u0131. Aylind\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcr, q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 hiss edirdim. Onu qucaqlamaq, ba\u011fr\u0131ma basmaq ist\u0259yimi g\u00fccl\u0259 bo\u011fdum.
\n\u0130fas\u0131n\u0131 bitirib \u0259lini saxlad\u0131. \u00dcz\u00fcm\u0259 bax\u0131b g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di.
\n\u2500M\u0259nim q\u0131z\u0131m da…\u2013susdum. S\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 fasil\u0259 verib, fikrimi tamamlama\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, \u2013\u0130ndi ail\u0259si il\u0259 Leninqradda ya\u015fay\u0131r. \u0130ld\u0259 yaln\u0131z bir d\u0259f\u0259 Bak\u0131ya g\u0259l\u0259 bilirl\u0259r. Yeni ild\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259rini g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim, amma g\u0259l\u0259 bilm\u0259dil\u0259r. Yolda\u015f\u0131na i\u015fd\u0259n m\u0259zuniyy\u0259t verm\u0259dil\u0259r. He\u00e7 olmasa, Faiqin ad g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259r, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm, …
\nAylin susaraq m\u0259ni dinl\u0259yirdi. Dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qca g\u00f6zl\u0259rimin i\u00e7in\u0259 bax\u0131r, qocan\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc k\u0259sm\u0259y\u0259 q\u0131ym\u0131rd\u0131. S\u00f6zs\u00fcz, k\u0259lm\u0259siz, lal s\u00fckutumla bel\u0259, qar\u015f\u0131mdak\u0131 bu q\u0131z m\u0259ni anlaya bilirdi. Hissl\u0259rimi, duy\u011fular\u0131m\u0131 daha ondan gizl\u0259y\u0259 bilmir, h\u0259tta gizl\u0259tm\u0259k bel\u0259 ist\u0259mirdim daha.
\n\u2500Q\u0131z\u0131m on bir il musiqi t\u0259hsili al\u0131b, indi d\u0259 fortepianodan musiqi d\u0259rsl\u0259ri verir. G\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m, s\u0259nin d\u0259 musiqi t\u0259hsilin var…
\nAylin g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di:
\n\u2500Nec\u0259 deyim… C\u0259mi \u00fc\u00e7 il musiqi t\u0259hsili ald\u0131m, sonra getm\u0259dim.
\n\u2500H\u0259…T\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf…
\nAylinl\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t etm\u0259kd\u0259n, fikirl\u0259rini, insanlara, d\u00fcnyaya bax\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 dinl\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n, d\u00fcz\u00fc, z\u00f6vq al\u0131rd\u0131m. Bu q\u0259d\u0259r sad\u0259, lakin bu q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259rin. \u0130lk t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcrat\u0131mda yan\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Savadl\u0131 bir q\u0131z imi\u015f! M\u0259nim h\u0259v\u0259sl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m elmi m\u00f6vzulara maraqla g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259, kvant n\u0259z\u0259riyy\u0259sind\u0259n, kvant mexanikas\u0131ndan anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131 olmasa bel\u0259, tarix v\u0259 \u0259d\u0259biyyatdan maraql\u0131 faktlar dan\u0131\u015faraq m\u0259ni t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndir\u0259 bildi. B\u0259z\u0259n h\u0259tta professorun \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn bel\u0259 bilm\u0259diyi n\u0259l\u0259rs\u0259 olurmu\u015f!
\nAil\u0259d\u0259 ham\u0131m\u0131z rusdilli oldu\u011fumuzdan bu g\u00fcn ilk d\u0259f\u0259 \u00f6z evimd\u0259 \u00f6z do\u011fma dilimd\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Nec\u0259 d\u0259 xo\u015f bir hiss idi! T\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf ki, velosiped t\u0259mirini bitir\u0259n dostlar\u0131n g\u0259li\u015fi Aylinl\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259timiz\u0259 son qoydu.
\n\u018fhm\u0259d \u0259ll\u0259rini bir-birin\u0259 s\u00fcrt\u00fcb q\u0131z\u0131nma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131:
\n\u2500Aylin, z\u0259hm\u0259t olmasa, bir \u00e7ay qoy. \u00dc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fck.
\n\u018flind\u0259 sini ota\u011fa daxil olan Aylin ilk fincan\u0131 kreslomun yan\u0131ndak\u0131 jurnal stolunun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoydu. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri il\u0259 t\u0259qdim etdiyi bu bir fincan \u00e7ayla evin bir k\u00fcnc\u00fcn\u0259 s\u0131x\u0131lm\u0131\u015f piano kimi h\u0259r k\u0259s t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n unudulan ya\u015fl\u0131 professora \u00f6z h\u00f6rm\u0259t v\u0259 ehtiram\u0131n\u0131 bildirm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi.<\/p>\n

******
\nP\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n yollara zill\u0259n\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259rim yen\u0259 kimis\u0259 axtar\u0131r, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 h\u0259ms\u00f6hb\u0259t g\u0259zirdi. T\u0259nha evd\u0259 ke\u00e7\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259rimi divardak\u0131, ya da pianonun \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki saat\u0131n t\u0131qq\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131 tamamlay\u0131rd\u0131. Tamara h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 oldu\u011fu kimi r\u0259fiq\u0259l\u0259ri il\u0259 telefonda dan\u0131\u015far, evd\u0259 dar\u0131xanda is\u0259 al\u0131\u015f-veri\u015f\u0259 ged\u0259rdi. Faiqi d\u0259 s\u0259h\u0259r i\u015f\u0259 ged\u0259nd\u0259, bir d\u0259 gec\u0259 i\u015fd\u0259n qay\u0131danda g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm. N\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 ki, televizor vard\u0131. Arada onunla d\u0259rdl\u0259\u015fir, m\u0259n\u0259 cavab verm\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259, hissl\u0259rimi b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fcm.
\nPianoya yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131m. Q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131\u011fallay\u0131rm\u0131\u015f kimi dill\u0259rini tumarlad\u0131m. Xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyim, g\u0259ncliyim pianonun dill\u0259ri kimi qaranl\u0131\u011fa qapanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.
\nT\u0131q-t\u0131q…
\nFaiq\u0259 ad g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u0259 ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m h\u0259min saat\u0131n s\u0259sidir. G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fc xan\u0131m m\u0259nd\u0259n qaba\u011fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb ona g\u00f6z\u0259l bir qol saat\u0131 h\u0259diyy\u0259 etmi\u015fdi. O\u011flum h\u0259diyy\u0259m\u0259 \u00e7ox sevins\u0259 d\u0259, unutdu\u011fundan, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 xan\u0131ma qar\u015f\u0131 diqq\u0259tsizlik etm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259diyind\u0259n pianonun \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 qoyub \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 evd\u0259n.
\nSaat\u0131 qula\u011f\u0131ma yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131m. Yatmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdi. Zaman\u0131 qovan \u0259qr\u0259bl\u0259r, \u0259slind\u0259, g\u0259ncliyimizi, xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyimizi \u0259limizd\u0259n al\u0131b apar\u0131rd\u0131. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r dayand\u0131rmaq, b\u0259z\u0259n geri d\u00f6nm\u0259k, yaxud yenid\u0259n ba\u015flamaq ist\u0259s\u0259k d\u0259, barmaqlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n aras\u0131ndan s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259n suya b\u0259nz\u0259yirdi zaman.
\nPianonun \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki d\u0259v\u0259tnam\u0259ni \u0259lim\u0259 ald\u0131m. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, ax\u015fam Faiq qoyub. A\u00e7d\u0131m. \u018fhm\u0259din toy d\u0259v\u0259tnam\u0259si idi. Subayl\u0131q h\u0259yat\u0131 il\u0259 vidala\u015fan \u018fhm\u0259d b\u0259lk\u0259 dostlar\u0131na da n\u00fcmun\u0259 olard\u0131. Onlar da subayl\u0131\u011f\u0131n da\u015f\u0131n\u0131 atar, ev-e\u015fiy\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fard\u0131lar b\u0259lk\u0259. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259dim. \u00dcr\u0259yimd\u0259n \u201cAllah xo\u015fb\u0259xt etsin!\u201d k\u0259lm\u0259l\u0259rini ke\u00e7irtdim.
\nFaiqin s\u0259sini e\u015fidib d\u0259hliz\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 oldu\u011fu kimi \u0259ynini d\u0259yi\u015fib yen\u0259 d\u0259 harasa t\u0259l\u0259sirdi. \u018flimd\u0259ki d\u0259v\u0259tnam\u0259ni g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259r\u0259k:
\n\u2500\u018fhm\u0259din toyu da amma yaman yuband\u0131ye… \u2013dedim. \u2013Yadda\u015f\u0131m yaman korlan\u0131b. Hu\u015fum gedir day. M\u00fchazirl\u0259rimi konspektsiz oxuyard\u0131m. \u0130ndi is\u0259 adlar\u0131 bel\u0259 unuduram… Eh, qocal\u0131q! \u018fhm\u0259din ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 deyir\u0259m e, s\u0259n dem\u0259 ad\u0131 Nigar imi\u015f. Yad\u0131mda ba\u015fqa ad qal\u0131b n\u0259s\u0259… Ad g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi. \u00c7ox yax\u015f\u0131, s\u0259mimi q\u0131zd\u0131r. \u018fsl az\u0259rbaycanl\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131d\u0131r! S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn, h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tinin yerini bil\u0259n, b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259r\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259t ed\u0259n… \u00c7ox diqq\u0259tli v\u0259 anlay\u0131\u015fl\u0131 q\u0131zd\u0131r. Allah xo\u015fb\u0259xt etsin!
\nFaiq ayaq saxlay\u0131b t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 baxd\u0131:
\n\u2500Kimd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan?
\n\u2500Ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 deyir\u0259m d\u0259: S\u0259nin ad g\u00fcn\u00fcnd\u0259 biz\u0259 g\u0259tirdiyi q\u0131z
\n\u2500Aylin? \u2013Faiq ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yell\u0259di, \u2013\u018fhm\u0259d ondan g\u00f6r n\u0259 vaxtd\u0131r ayr\u0131l\u0131b!
\nFaiqin s\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcm. Do\u011frudur, \u018fhm\u0259din h\u0259yat\u0131ndan \u00e7ox q\u0131z, qad\u0131n g\u0259lib ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. Amma h\u0259min g\u00fcn m\u0259n, n\u0259hay\u0259t, onun \u00f6z sevgisini, xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyini tapd\u0131\u011f\u0131na inanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.
\n\u2500Niy\u0259 ayr\u0131ld\u0131lar?-sual\u0131ma
\nFaiqin cavab\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z oldu:
\n\u2500\u00d6z\u00fcn g\u00f6rm\u0259din? O q\u0131z \u018fhm\u0259d\u0259 yara\u015fan q\u0131z idi ki, papa? Nigar ba\u015fqa m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259! Nigarla Aylinin aras\u0131nda yerl\u0259-g\u00f6y q\u0259d\u0259r f\u0259rq var e! S\u0131\u011forta \u015firk\u0259tind\u0259 \u015f\u00f6b\u0259 m\u00fcdiri i\u015fl\u0259yir, bir ne\u00e7\u0259 dil bilir. \u00dcst\u0259lik d\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6x g\u00f6z\u0259l v\u0259 z\u00f6vql\u00fc xan\u0131md\u0131r. G\u0259lm\u0259z ki, bir yan\u0131na kimis\u0259 sal\u0131b aparanda \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yara\u015fan biri olsun, utanmayasan!
\nNitqim qurudu. N\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259yimi bilm\u0259dim.
\n\u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, \u00fcr\u0259y\u0259 h\u00f6km etm\u0259k olmaz. Xo\u015fb\u0259xtliy\u0259 ged\u0259n yol sevgid\u0259n ke\u00e7ir, deyirl\u0259r… B\u0259z\u0259n is\u0259… B\u0259z\u0259n is\u0259 \u0259sl sevgi axtar\u0131\u015f\u0131nda olark\u0259n ger\u00e7\u0259k hissl\u0259rimizi, xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyimizi \u00f6z s\u0259hvimiz \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259n qurban veririk… V\u0259 bunu \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz d\u0259 anlam\u0131r\u0131q…
\n\u018fhm\u0259di q\u0131nama\u011fa haqq\u0131m \u00e7at\u0131rd\u0131m\u0131? Ehtiras\u0131n\u0131n qurban\u0131 olub, slavyan g\u00f6z\u0259linin mavi g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin cazib\u0259sind\u0259n kor olub, i\u015fv\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259 uyub cavanl\u0131q s\u0259hvim\u0259 qurban etm\u0259dimmi \u00f6z qarag\u00f6zl\u00fc, m\u0259l\u0259k \u00fczl\u00fc ni\u015fanl\u0131m\u0131n sevgisini… Evin k\u00fcnc\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0131s\u0131lan piano kimi at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, diqq\u0259t v\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131ya h\u0259r zaman m\u00f6htac bu qoca, \u0259slind\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131 x\u0259yan\u0259tini ona ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamay\u0131b h\u0259yat\u0131ndan bird\u0259f\u0259lik getdiyi g\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fc \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc t\u0259nhal\u0131\u011fa m\u0259hkum etmi\u015fdi.
\nK\u00f6ks\u00fcm\u00fc \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Dey\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259yim t\u0259k s\u00f6z bu idi:
\n\u2500D\u00fczd\u00fcr! He\u00e7 \u018fhm\u0259d\u0259 yara\u015fan q\u0131z deyildi! <\/p>\n

26-29 yanvar 2018-ci il. Bak\u0131 \u015f\u0259h\u0259ri.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

D\u00fcz otuz s\u0259kkiz il bundan \u0259vv\u0259l ata olmaq sevincini ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. B\u0259lk\u0259 o zamanlar g\u0259nc oldu\u011fumdan atal\u0131q hissinin n\u0259 oldu\u011funu, m\u0259suliyy\u0259tini bel\u0259 d\u0259rk etmirdim. Valideynl\u0259rim, dostlar\u0131m m\u0259ni o\u011ful atas\u0131 olma\u011f\u0131m m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti il\u0259 t\u0259brik ed\u0259nd\u0259, orta m\u0259kt\u0259bi bitir\u0259rk\u0259n q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 diplomu \u0259lim\u0259 ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m v\u0259 daha sonra ali m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 q\u0259bul oldu\u011fum h\u0259min g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 oldu\u011fu kimi b\u00f6y\u00fck sevinc hissi ke\u00e7irtmi\u015fdim. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26728","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26728","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26728"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26728\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26736,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26728\/revisions\/26736"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26728"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=26728"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=26728"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}