{"id":27317,"date":"2018-06-22T03:00:17","date_gmt":"2018-06-21T23:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=27317"},"modified":"2018-06-22T09:16:15","modified_gmt":"2018-06-22T05:16:15","slug":"s%c9%99faq%c9%99t-cavansirzad%c9%99-k%c9%99ndd%c9%99ki-evimizin-ugursuzlugu-roman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=27317","title":{"rendered":"\u015e\u0259faq\u0259t CAVAN\u015e\u0130RZAD\u018f.”K\u0259ndd\u0259ki evimizin u\u011fursuzlu\u011fu” (Roman)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

G\u00fcc-b\u0259layla, bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131zdan k\u0259s\u0259-k\u0259s\u0259, h\u0259r f\u0259sl\u0259 bir paltar ala-ala \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259 rayonlar\u0131n birind\u0259 ev ald\u0131q ki, yaydan-yaya gedib istirah\u0259t ed\u0259k, on iki ay\u0131n he\u00e7 olmasa bir ay\u0131nda t\u0259miz hava udaq, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz canl\u0131-canl\u0131 me\u015f\u0259 g\u00f6rs\u00fcn, da\u011f g\u00f6rs\u00fcn, ya\u011f\u0131\u015f ya\u011fanda torpaq qoxusu burnumuzdan beynimiz\u0259 t\u00fc\u011fyan el\u0259sin, al\u0131nmad\u0131. \u0130lk g\u00fcnd\u0259n burnumuzdan g\u0259ldi. D\u0259d\u0259m evi ucuz alanda g\u0259r\u0259k \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259n\u0259rdik. Ondan \u0259vv\u0259l g\u0259r\u0259k ev haqq\u0131nda m\u0259lumat toplayard\u0131q. \u018fslind\u0259, t\u0259bi\u0259tc\u0259 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259li xarakter\u0259 malik oldu\u011fuma yax\u015f\u0131 b\u0259l\u0259d oldu\u011fumdan \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259li-\u015f\u00fcbh\u0259li soru\u015fmu\u015fdum d\u0259d\u0259md\u0259n.
\n– Ay ba\u015f\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fcm, d\u0259d\u0259, d\u00f6rd sot torpa\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 otaql\u0131 ev niy\u0259 ucuz sat\u0131l\u0131r, maraqlanm\u0131san? O boyda rayonda n\u0259 \u0259c\u0259b bir n\u0259f\u0259r qaba\u011fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb almay\u0131b? Evin k\u00f6hn\u0259 sahibl\u0259ri ke\u00e7\u0259n il al\u0131bsa, bu il niy\u0259 sat\u0131\u015fa \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131lar? N\u0259ys\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcm su i\u00e7m\u0259di e, bu evd\u0259n.
\nAllah var g\u00f6yd\u0259, anam da m\u0259n dey\u0259ni dedi. M\u0259lum m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir, bizd\u0259 ki\u015fil\u0259r n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r arvad\u0131 e\u015fits\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259, dedikl\u0259rind\u0259n d\u00f6nm\u00fcrl\u0259r ki, d\u00f6nm\u00fcrl\u0259r. H\u0259r \u015fey bir yana, ilk g\u00fcnd\u0259n biz\u0259 yax\u0131n qon\u015fular\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 diqq\u0259timd\u0259n yay\u0131nmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Me\u015f\u0259 biz\u0259 yax\u0131n, o biri evl\u0259r bizd\u0259n xeyli uzaq, bir-biril\u0259rin\u0259 bir o q\u0259d\u0259r yax\u0131n\u0131yd\u0131. Vallah, gec\u0259yl\u0259 g\u0259lib bizi \u00f6ld\u00fcrs\u0259, ya\u015f\u0131 yetmi\u015fi haqlam\u0131\u015f n\u0259n\u0259m demi\u015fk\u0259n, bir k\u00f6p\u0259ko\u011flunun x\u0259b\u0259ri olmayacaq.
\nH\u0259r ax\u015fam qat\u0131q i\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015f yata bilmir\u0259m. M\u0259d\u0259m v\u0259rdi\u015f el\u0259yib, g\u00fcnd\u00fczl\u0259r sodal\u0131 su i\u00e7m\u0259li, ax\u015famlar sar\u0131msaql\u0131 qat\u0131q yem\u0259liy\u0259m. \u0130kisinin hesab\u0131na ar\u0131qlamaqla ba\u011fl\u0131 problemim olmur. Bir saat olard\u0131 k\u0259ndd\u0259ki t\u0259z\u0259 evimiz\u0259 \u00e7atm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q. N\u0259n\u0259min qoluna girib evimizd\u0259n xeyli uzaqla\u015fd\u0131q. N\u0259n\u0259m k\u00f6hn\u0259 arvadlardand\u0131r, m\u0259n bir saat piyada g\u0259zib yoruluram, n\u0259n\u0259m kinay\u0259yl\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcr.
\n-Bizim yerimizd\u0259 olsayd\u0131z, neyliy\u0259rdiz?
\n– Allah g\u00f6rd\u00fc ki, bizd\u0259 sizd\u0259ki d\u00f6z\u00fcm yoxdu, n\u0259 \u011fayrs\u0131n, texnikan\u0131 yaratd\u0131rd\u0131. Bekar\u00e7\u0131l\u0131qdan tez yorulanlardan\u0131q.
\n– Bu evd\u0259n xo\u015fum g\u0259lm\u0259di – n\u0259n\u0259m dey\u0259nd\u0259 el\u0259 sevindim, burda yaza bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m.
\n– Allah s\u0259n\u0259 \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr, evd\u0259 m\u0259n a\u011f\u0131lda adam \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131.
\n– S\u0259yl\u0259m\u0259 az, kopaq q\u0131z\u0131.
\nN\u0259n\u0259m \u0259s\u0259bl\u0259\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 s\u00f6y\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn biri bir q\u0259pik olur. Q\u0131namay\u0131n, babam \u00f6l\u0259nd\u0259 n\u0259n\u0259m dullu\u011funun he\u00e7 q\u0131rx ya\u015f\u0131 yoxuydu.Yar\u0131m saat da getdikd\u0259n sonra uzaq qon\u015funun evinin qap\u0131s\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259 bilmi\u015fdik. N\u0259n\u0259m \u0259ll\u0259rini belind\u0259 \u00e7arpazlay\u0131b, qap\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6ym\u0259yimi \u0259mr el\u0259di. Bax\u0131ram arvada, q\u0131nam\u0131ram e, ki\u015fisiz cavan g\u0259linl\u0259r, namuslar\u0131n\u0131 ikinci ki\u015fi n\u0259f\u0259sind\u0259n uzaq tutmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, t\u0259miz adlar\u0131n\u0131 qorumaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6zl\u0259ri d\u0259 bilm\u0259d\u0259n ki\u015fil\u0259\u015firl\u0259r. N\u0259n\u0259mi \u00e7oxdand\u0131r m\u00fc\u015fahid\u0259 edir\u0259m, davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ki\u015fi davran\u0131\u015f\u0131d\u0131r. Baxmayaraq ki, yaz\u0131q arvad ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 ki\u015fisi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn a\u011flayanda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm.
\nUzaq qon\u015fu qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131, m\u0259n\u0259, n\u0259n\u0259m\u0259 maraqla baxd\u0131. Daha do\u011frusu, r\u0259hm\u0259tliyin n\u0259v\u0259si el\u0259 baxd\u0131, el\u0259 bil ill\u0259rd\u0259n sonra qap\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 d\u00f6y\u0259n biz olmu\u015fuq. Ya\u015f\u0131 otuz be\u015fi ke\u00e7m\u0259y\u0259n orta boy, uzun sa\u00e7lar\u0131yla diqq\u0259timi \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l g\u0259liniydi.
\nM\u0259n salam verdim, salam\u0131m\u0131 ald\u0131. N\u0259n\u0259m – Q\u0131z\u0131m, biz o ev\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259 k\u00f6\u00e7m\u00fc\u015f\u00fck – \u0259liyl\u0259 evimizin s\u0259mtini g\u00f6st\u0259rdi – burda qat\u0131\u011f\u0131 hardan ala bil\u0259rik?
\nG\u0259lin evimiz\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 baxd\u0131, n\u0259n\u0259min sual\u0131na cavab verm\u0259mi\u015f \u00f6z sual\u0131n\u0131 verdi : – Me\u015f\u0259y\u0259 yax\u0131n olan t\u0259k ev\u0259 k\u00f6\u00e7m\u00fcs\u00fcz?
\nH\u0259r\u00e7\u0259nd \u0259caib sual\u0131 m\u0259ni t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndirmi\u015fdi.
\nN\u0259n\u0259m cavab verdi. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, sual ona da q\u0259rib\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Baxmayaraq ki, veril\u0259n sualda qeyri-adi he\u00e7 n\u0259 yoxuydu. Nec\u0259 izah edim, cavan g\u0259lin sual\u0131 ver\u0259nd\u0259 \u00fcz ifad\u0259si q\u0259rib\u0259ydi, o evd\u0259 he\u00e7 kim ya\u015faya bilm\u0259zfason…
\n– H\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131m, o evi alm\u0131\u015f\u0131q. Bir-iki ayl\u0131q k\u00f6\u00e7m\u00fc\u015f\u00fck.
\nN\u0259n\u0259md\u0259n olsa, \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fc bu k\u0259ndd\u0259 ba\u015fa vurar. M\u0259n ya\u015faya bilm\u0259zdim. K\u00f6k\u00fc k\u0259nd\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rli q\u0131zam, \u015f\u0259h\u0259r m\u00fchitin\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259\u015fmi\u015f\u0259m. H\u0259l\u0259 siz\u0259 bir h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259n sonra alaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z iki ke\u00e7id\u0259n yazm\u0131ram. D\u0259d\u0259min \u015f\u0259h\u0259r m\u00fchitind\u0259n iyr\u0259ndiyini bilirdim, \u0259m\u0259lli-ba\u015fl\u0131 plan c\u0131zma\u011f\u0131ndan bix\u0259b\u0259riydim. Eybi yox, onsuzda ail\u0259likc\u0259 biz\u0259 plan qurmaq d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcr. H\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131zda h\u0259r \u015fey q\u0259fl\u0259t\u0259n olur. Ad\u0259t\u0259n u\u011furlu olur.
\n– Hmm, xeyirli olsun. – \u00fcr\u0259ksiz dediyi hiss olundu. N\u0259n\u0259m k\u00f6hn\u0259 arvadlardand\u0131r e, anam h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 ona q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131sif\u0259t deyir. Arvad\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 dem\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259.
\n– N\u0259ys\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259ksiz dedin e, q\u0131z\u0131m.
\n– Yox xala, o evd\u0259 n\u0259 varsa, kim k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcrs\u0259, \u00e7ox ya\u015faya bilmir.
\nBaxd\u0131\u011f\u0131m qorxu filml\u0259r yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, ist\u0259r-ist\u0259m\u0259z \u0259tim \u00fcrp\u0259\u015fdi.
\n– Niy\u0259 ki? – sual\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcm verdim, \u00e7iyinl\u0259rini atd\u0131.
\n– N\u0259 bilim.
\n– \u018f\u015f\u015fi, bo\u015f \u015feyl\u0259rdi. S\u0259n de g\u00f6r\u00fcm qat\u0131\u011f\u0131 hardan ala bil\u0259rik?
\n– Qat\u0131\u011f\u0131 biz d\u0259 sat\u0131r\u0131q. \u00dc\u00e7 kiloluq qat\u0131\u011f\u0131 yeddi manata veririk.
\n– Day sizin \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259n n\u0259 f\u0259rqiniz oldu? \u015e\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 k\u0259ndd\u0259n g\u0259tirib sizd\u0259n ucuz verirl\u0259r.
\nN\u0259n\u0259mim hirsin\u0259 r\u0259\u011fm\u0259n g\u0259lin g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di.
\n– N\u0259 deyim xala, qaynanam\u0131n qoydu\u011fu qiym\u0259tdi.
\n– Qaynanan evd\u0259di?
\n– Rayona gedib, ax\u015fama qay\u0131dar.
\n– Day \u0259lac\u0131m\u0131z n\u0259di? Ordan ver \u00fc\u00e7 kiloluq. Ax\u015famlar i\u00e7m\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 pis oluram.
\nEh, kimin n\u0259n\u0259sidir? N\u0259n\u0259m \u0259lini atd\u0131 ip\u0259k donunun alt\u0131ndan geyindiyi g\u00fcll\u00fc alt k\u00f6yn\u0259yin\u0259, sancaqlam\u0131\u015f b\u00fck\u00fcl\u00fc d\u0259smal\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131. Yeri g\u0259lmi\u015fk\u0259n, m\u0259n n\u0259n\u0259sinin t\u0259qa\u00fcd\u00fcyl\u0259 kef ed\u0259n n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n deyil\u0259m. Biz t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259 o\u011flan n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259rinin bu bar\u0259d\u0259 b\u0259xti g\u0259tirir. M\u0259nim n\u0259n\u0259min d\u0259 qarda\u015f\u0131ma pul bar\u0259d\u0259 \u0259li a\u00e7\u0131qd\u0131. N\u00f6vb\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7atanda, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc k\u0259f\u0259n pulunu o\u011furlatm\u0131\u015f n\u0259n\u0259 kimi hiss edir.
\nN\u0259n\u0259m t\u0259kc\u0259 qat\u0131q almad\u0131, deyin\u0259-deyin\u0259 k\u0259nd toyu\u011fu da ald\u0131, m\u0259n\u0259 da\u015f\u0131td\u0131rd\u0131.
\nDeyir\u0259m, N\u0259n\u0259, z\u0259hm\u0259t haqq\u0131 on manatd\u0131r.
\n– Yox bir…S\u0259ni m\u0259n saxlam\u0131\u015fam, pul ist\u0259yirs\u0259n?
\n– Ax\u0131 n\u0259n\u0259, r\u0259hm\u0259tlik qudan saxlay\u0131b. S\u0259n haz\u0131ra nazir olmusan ax\u0131.
\nN\u0259n\u0259m bilir ki, s\u00f6z\u00fcn d\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc dediyim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n u\u011fursuz g\u00fcnl\u0259rini az ya\u015famam\u0131\u015fam, yen\u0259 d\u0259 al\u0131\u015fa bilmirdi xasiyy\u0259tim\u0259. \u00c7ox q\u0259rib\u0259dir, h\u0259yat\u0131mda etdiyim riskl\u0259rd\u0259n sonra valideyinl\u0259rim, n\u0259n\u0259m qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q dig\u0259r qohumlar m\u0259ni ciddi adam kimi q\u0259bul el\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 m\u0259cbur qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r arzular\u0131m\u0131, ist\u0259kl\u0259rimi dil\u0259 g\u0259tirirdim, el\u0259 d\u0259 fikir ver\u0259n yoxuydu. M\u0259ntiql\u0259 idar\u0259 ed\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim hissl\u0259rimin z\u0259rb\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n sonra a\u011fz\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7mam\u0131\u015f fikrimi soru\u015fma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131lar. Qan qohumlar\u0131m t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n k\u0259nardan bu v\u0259ziyy\u0259t nec\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc, bilmir\u0259m. M\u0259n t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n adil\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi. Hiss edirdim, qorxurdular. Yenid\u0259n a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131zl\u0131q ed\u0259r\u0259m, yenid\u0259n p\u0259ri\u015fan ed\u0259r\u0259m dey\u0259. \u00d6lk\u0259min yaz\u0131lmayan qanunlar\u0131n g\u00fcc\u00fc alt\u0131nda \u0259zil\u0259n bir \u00e7ox g\u0259nc kimi \u0259lb\u0259tt\u0259, bu d\u0259f\u0259 sevgi x\u0259trin\u0259 yox, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yim namin\u0259 bir \u00e7ox add\u0131mlar atard\u0131m. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 k\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc raz\u0131l\u0131q v\u0259 xeyir-duayla. Bu g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yin i\u015fidir. Bir g\u00fcn yax\u0131nlar\u0131m haqq\u0131mda oxuyacaq, bir s\u0259hvi ikinci d\u0259f\u0259 t\u0259krarlamayacaq q\u0259d\u0259r a\u011f\u0131ll\u0131 oldu\u011fumu onsuzda d\u0259rk ed\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r. Onlara, lap el\u0259 olsun n\u0259n\u0259m, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc s\u00fcbut el\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 n\u0259 h\u0259v\u0259sim var, n\u0259 d\u0259 vaxt\u0131m. B\u0259yaqdan on manat qoparda bilm\u0259diyim n\u0259n\u0259min n\u0259yin\u0259 s\u00fcbut edib \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc? Arvad\u0131n fikri-zikri m\u0259nd\u0259n n\u0259tic\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259kdir. Tez-tez n\u0259tic\u0259l\u0259rinin atas\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6y\u00fcr ki, \u00e7\u0259rxi-f\u0259l\u0259yin i\u015fini bilm\u0259k olmaz, s\u00f6y\u00fcr\u0259m ki, k\u00f6p\u0259ko\u011flu tez g\u0259lsin.
\nGec\u0259y\u0259 iki saat qalm\u0131\u015f m\u0259n\u0259 di\u015f sar\u0131msa\u011f\u0131 x\u0131rda-x\u0131rda do\u011fratd\u0131rd\u0131, yar\u0131m saat k\u0259narda saxlatd\u0131rd\u0131 ki, qat\u0131\u011fa qat\u0131b yey\u0259nd\u0259 a\u011fz\u0131ndan sar\u0131msa\u011f\u0131n iyi g\u0259lm\u0259sin. Z\u0259hl\u0259m sar\u0131msaq iyind\u0259n gedirdi el\u0259. H\u0259m d\u0259 di\u015fl\u0259rinin aras\u0131nda qalmas\u0131n.
\n– Ay n\u0259n\u0259, di\u015fin protezdi, ma\u015fallah, muncuq kimi d\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcb, sar\u0131msaq haras\u0131nda qalacaq, e. \u0130stirah\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m guya, sarlmsaq iyind\u0259n yedikl\u0259rimi qaytaracam e, indi.
\n– He\u015f n\u0259 olmaz. Limonlu suyla yuyarsan ke\u00e7\u0259r.
\n\u00c7ox kitab oxuyuram, di g\u0259l, arvada s\u00f6z \u00e7atd\u0131ra bilmir\u0259m. T\u0259rs kimi burda da bir otaqda yatd\u0131q.
\n\u0130nsaf\u0259n, n\u0259n\u0259m t\u0259kc\u0259 yatanda otaqda olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss ed\u0259rdim. Yatanacan \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259ki s\u00f6zl\u0259ri m\u0259n\u0259 dey\u0259rdi.
\n\u0130ki tualetimiz vard\u0131. Biri evin i\u00e7ind\u0259ydi, bizd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l evi alan ail\u0259 ev\u0259 \u0259m\u0259llic\u0259 \u0259l g\u0259zdirmi\u015fdi. Hamam-tualet d\u0259 tikmi\u015fdi. H\u0259y\u0259td\u0259ki tualetd\u0259 tualetlik qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, daha \u00e7ox xarabaya b\u0259nz\u0259yirdi. N\u0259n\u0259ml\u0259 m\u0259n yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131m otaqla \u00fczb\u0259\u00fcz\u00fcyd\u00fc. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n baxanda rahat g\u00f6rm\u0259k olurdu.
\n\u0130smay\u0131l \u015e\u0131xl\u0131n\u0131n ” \u00d6l\u00fcl\u0259rinizi q\u0259birstanl\u0131qda basd\u0131r\u0131n ” \u0259s\u0259rini bitirdikd\u0259n sonra ota\u011f\u0131n i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6nd\u00fcrd\u00fcm. B\u0259zi i\u015fl\u0259rd\u0259 solaxay oldu\u011fumdan yatanda da sol t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 yat\u0131ram. K\u00fcr\u0259yimi n\u0259n\u0259m t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7evirdim. T\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 yuxuya getmi\u015fdim, n\u0259n\u0259m\u0259n indiy\u0259c\u0259n e\u015fitm\u0259diyim s\u0259si e\u015fitdim. Arvad el\u0259 bil bo\u011fulurdu. Pi\u015fik c\u0259ldliyiyl\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc n\u0259n\u0259m\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f \u00e7evirdim. N\u0259n\u0259min g\u00f6zl\u0259ri b\u0259r\u0259l\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, n\u0259f\u0259s ala bilmirdi.
\n\u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc itirs\u0259ydim, q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rmasayd\u0131m, qaranl\u0131q otaqda n\u0259n\u0259min b\u0259r\u0259l\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri bird\u0259f\u0259lik \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f adam\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fc kimi a\u00e7\u0131q qalacaqd\u0131. H\u0259y\u0259tin i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 yax\u015f\u0131 ki yan\u0131l\u0131 qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. D\u0259d\u0259ml\u0259 anam ota\u011fa nec\u0259 girdil\u0259r \u00f6zl\u0259ri d\u0259 bilm\u0259di. Ota\u011f\u0131n i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 atam yand\u0131randa n\u0259n\u0259m ” Bismillah ” q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131b ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yast\u0131qdan qald\u0131rd\u0131. Bel\u0259 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm ki, yaz\u0131q n\u0259n\u0259m qaranl\u0131qdan xoflan\u0131b. N\u0259n\u0259m bir-ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259rind\u0259n n\u0259f\u0259s alma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Anam otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131, \u00e7ox ke\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015f bir st\u0259kan suyla qay\u0131td\u0131. D\u0259d\u0259m anas\u0131n\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda dizl\u0259rini yer\u0259 qoymu\u015fdu, az qala u\u015faq kimi a\u011flayacaqd\u0131. Zarafat deyil, qohumlar\u0131m\u0131zda n\u0259n\u0259min taylar\u0131ndan \u00fc\u00e7-d\u00f6rd n\u0259n\u0259 ya vard\u0131, ya yoxdu.
\nD\u0259d\u0259m suyu n\u0259n\u0259m\u0259 \u00f6z \u0259liyl\u0259 qurtum-qurtum i\u00e7irdirdi.M\u0259n olsayd\u0131m, bel\u0259 v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 anamla m\u0259n olsayd\u0131q, qorxumdan suyla anam\u0131 bo\u011fard\u0131m. Atamdak\u0131 t\u0259mkinlilik m\u0259nd\u0259 yoxdu.
\n– Mama, niy\u0259 bo\u011fulurdun? N\u0259 oldu bird\u0259n-bir\u0259?
\nN\u0259n\u0259m \u0259lini m\u0259n\u0259 uzatd\u0131.
\n– M\u0259ni niy\u0259 bo\u011furdun?
\nNitqim qurudu. N\u0259 vaxtsa u\u015faqlara v\u0259 qad\u0131nlara t\u0259cav\u00fcz ed\u0259n nan\u0259cibl\u0259rin qatili olmaq \u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259n d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 ke\u00e7ib. Danm\u0131ram, n\u0259n\u0259siyl\u0259 yola ged\u0259n n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259rin s\u0131ras\u0131na m\u0259ni \u00e7\u0259tin qoymaq olard\u0131. Yen\u0259 d\u0259 bu, n\u0259n\u0259mi \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259yi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259yim, ya da \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u0259c\u0259yim m\u0259nas\u0131na g\u0259lmirdi. Atam yaz\u0131q-yaz\u0131q m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259n bilmirdim a\u011flay\u0131m, bilmirdim g\u00fcl\u00fcm.
\n– N\u0259n\u0259, s\u0259ni niy\u0259 bo\u011fum ki? – dey\u0259 bildim.
\nAnam qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131 s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 : – K\u0259nd yeridir, b\u0259lk\u0259 toxunublar s\u0259n\u0259? Q\u0131z s\u0259ni niy\u0259 bo\u011fsun?
\n– Ay t\u00f6b\u0259, m\u0259ni bo\u011furdu.
\nAtam t\u0259bii n\u0259n\u0259m\u0259 inanmad\u0131.
\n– Mama, s\u0259n\u0259 toxunublar. \u015e\u0259fi s\u0259ni niy\u0259 bo\u011fsun?
\nAd\u0131m \u015e\u0259fad\u0131r, bilmir\u0259m niy\u0259, evd\u0259kil\u0259r d\u0259, yax\u0131n r\u0259fiq\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 \u015e\u0259fi deyirdi.
\nAtam dey\u0259nd\u0259n sonra n\u0259n\u0131m d\u0259rk el\u0131mi\u015fdi ki, onu bo\u011fma\u011f\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ortada s\u0259b\u0259b yoxdur. He\u00e7 olmas\u0131n da….A\u011flabatan variant odur ki, hirsli ba\u015fla kims\u0259 damar\u0131n\u0131 basa, t\u0259mkinli v\u0259 s\u0259brli deyils\u0259ns\u0259, qatil olma\u011f\u0131n qa\u00e7\u0131lmazd\u0131r.
\nValideyinl\u0259rim n\u0259n\u0259mi sakitl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259nd\u0259n sonra t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131lar, n\u0259n\u0259-n\u0259v\u0259 yerimiz\u0259 girdik. Bizim yerimizi anam yerd\u0259 salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131l\u0131 qalmas\u0131 ikimizin d\u0259 ist\u0259yiydi.
\nUlduzlu gec\u0259nin i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 ota\u011f\u0131nda n\u0259 vaxt \u015firin yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ikimiz d\u0259 bilm\u0259mi\u015fik.
\nBu d\u0259f\u0259 bo\u011fuldu\u011fumu m\u0259n hiss el\u0259dim. \u0130ki \u0259l bo\u011faz\u0131mdan yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.
\nG\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7d\u0131m. Otaq zil qaranl\u0131q, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259si a\u00e7\u0131q, m\u0259ni h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n kims\u0259 bo\u011furdu. \u018fll\u0259rim m\u0259ni bo\u011fan \u0259ll\u0259rd\u0259n yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn bir add\u0131ml\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u0259n xilas el\u0259m\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. Bo\u011fma\u011f\u0131 bir d\u0259rd, qarn\u0131mda oturub a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla m\u0259ni g\u00fccd\u0259n salma\u011f\u0131 bir d\u0259rdiydi. N\u0259n\u0259min m\u0259ni \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u0259c\u0259k d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 nifr\u0259t el\u0259m\u0259yi a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259lm\u0259zdi. \u00c7\u00fcnki on s\u0259kkiz n\u0259v\u0259nin aras\u0131nda yegan\u0259 n\u0259v\u0259ydim, onunla yola getmirdim. Dig\u0259rl\u0259ri nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, n\u0259n\u0259lik x\u0259trin\u0259, ya da \u00e7ox ist\u0259diyind\u0259n yola verirdil\u0259r.
\n– S\u0259n ad\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bat\u0131rm\u0131san. S\u0259n ad\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bat\u0131rm\u0131san. \u00d6lm\u0259lis\u0259n!…
\nN\u0259f\u0259s alma\u011f\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259ll\u0259rini bo\u011faz\u0131mda bo\u015faltd\u0131, m\u0259n\u0259 ” P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 bax ” dedi. S\u0259s \u00f6zg\u0259sinin, x\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131 s\u0259siydi. Art\u0131q d\u0259qiq bilirdim, m\u0259n n\u0259n\u0259min yan\u0131nda \u00f6l\u0259c\u0259m, x\u0259b\u0259ri olmayacaq. Ax\u0131 n\u0259n\u0259m sovet arvad\u0131d\u0131r, g\u0259r\u0259k yuxusu y\u00fcyr\u0259k ola.
\nP\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 bax\u0131ram, he\u00e7 kim yoxdu.
\nKimdi bilmir\u0259m, \u00fcst\u00fcmd\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, m\u0259ni bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131 buraxmadan aya\u011fa qald\u0131rd\u0131, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259y\u0259c\u0259n apard\u0131. \u00c7ox su i\u00e7diyimd\u0259n alt\u0131m\u0131 islatmama\u011f\u0131ma \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259nmi\u015fdim. Nam\u0259lumun yan\u0131nda \u00e7oxdan biab\u0131r olmal\u0131yd\u0131m. \u0130st\u0259r-ist\u0259m\u0259z ba\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259ki tualet\u0259 baxmal\u0131 oldum. Normalda h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 baxmal\u0131yd\u0131m. Tualetd\u0259 xarabal\u0131qdan \u0259s\u0259r-\u0259lam\u0259t qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130lahi, bu n\u0259dir? Tualetin b\u0259z\u0259kli qap\u0131s\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q, i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131, i\u00e7ind\u0259 k\u00f6rp\u0259 u\u015faq, m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yir. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, \u00f6lm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l, adama havalanmaq g\u0259lir.
\n– \u018fxlaqs\u0131z, \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u0259c\u0259m s\u0259ni. – \u0259caib, x\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131 s\u0259si yen\u0259 e\u015fitdim.
\n– O u\u015faq….O u\u015faq….- c\u00fcml\u0259mi he\u00e7 c\u00fcr tamamlaya bilmirdim.
\nM\u0259ni bo\u011fan kimiydis\u0259, \u00e7ox arifiydi.
\n– Bicindir.
\nXat\u0131rlad\u0131m, ail\u0259li olanda bir d\u0259f\u0259 hamil\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. \u0130ki h\u0259ft\u0259likiydi. Bo\u015fanma\u011fa q\u0259rar verdiyim g\u00fcn \u00fcr\u0259yimin d\u0259rinliyind\u0259 ana olmaq ist\u0259mirdim. Ehtiyyats\u0131zl\u0131qdan b\u0259tnimd\u0259ki k\u00f6rp\u0259mi itirdikd\u0259n sonra anlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, k\u00f6rp\u0259m b\u0259tnimd\u0259 olan g\u00fcnd\u0259n art\u0131q m\u0259n anayd\u0131m. Uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259 bilm\u0259mi\u015fdim. Televizorda k\u00f6rp\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 reklamlar\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fckc\u0259 ixtiyars\u0131z a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131m. Lakin m\u0259nim u\u015fa\u011f\u0131m\u0131n atas\u0131 m\u0259lumuydu.
\nH\u0259qiq\u0259td\u0259 h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259n p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n i\u015f\u0131qdan m\u0259ni \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259n nam\u0259lumu g\u00f6rm\u0259liydim, m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmad\u0131. \u00dcz\u00fc qapqarayd\u0131, ki\u015fi x\u0259yla\u011f\u0131 olma\u011f\u0131 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyildi.
\nFiquruas\u0131ndan na\u011f\u0131llardak\u0131 ifrit\u0259y\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259r varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n m\u0259niml\u0259 zarafat etdiyini ist\u0259m\u0259k indiy\u0259c\u0259n arzular\u0131m\u0131n \u0259n birincisi olmu\u015fdu. Ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131n d\u0259y\u0259rli oldu\u011funu da o an hiss el\u0259mi\u015fdim. T\u0259pikl\u0259 iki q\u0131\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131ndan vurma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Nec\u0259 ki baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z kinolarda qad\u0131n ona t\u0259cav\u00fcz ed\u0259n ki\u015fini el\u0259c\u0259 vurub belini b\u00fckd\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc ha, bax, m\u0259n d\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, al\u0131nmad\u0131 ki, al\u0131nmad\u0131. \u018fv\u0259zind\u0259 iki aya\u011f\u0131m yerd\u0259n \u0259lini \u00fczd\u00fc, havadan as\u0131l\u0131 qald\u0131. G\u00fcc\u00fcm \u0259ll\u0259riml\u0259 \u0259ll\u0259rini bo\u011faz\u0131mdan ay\u0131rma\u011fa \u00e7at\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00fccl\u0259 son n\u0259f\u0259simi ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 hiss edirdim. Son d\u0259f\u0259 tualet t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 baxd\u0131m, m\u0259n\u0259 baxan k\u00f6rp\u0259 a\u011flama\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. M\u0259nim d\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n ya\u015f g\u0259lirdi. \u00d6lm\u0259yim\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131m. \u0130frit\u0259 bo\u011faz\u0131mdan \u0259ll\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259kdi, yer\u0259 d\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k s\u0259rildim. Ota\u011f\u0131n i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 yananda g\u00f6zl\u0259rim yumulmu\u015fdu.
\nG\u00f6zl\u0259rimi a\u00e7anda evd\u0259kil\u0259r ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ydi. Hardansa tapd\u0131qlar\u0131 molla qarda\u015f onlardan daha yax\u0131n stulda oturub m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dua oxuyurdu. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc xortday\u0131b \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u0259n qay\u0131danlar kimi hiss el\u0259dim. G\u0259r\u0259k ham\u0131 \u015foka d\u00fc\u015f\u0259ydi, anam\u0131n \u00fcr\u0259yi ged\u0259ydi. Yox, m\u0259nimki \u00f6l\u00fcb-dirilm\u0259k m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259si deyildi.
\n-Q\u0131za pis toxunublar – ilk e\u015fitdiyim s\u0259s molla qarda\u015f\u0131n s\u0259si oldu. Molla qarda\u015f cavan\u0131yd\u0131, dey\u0259dim \u00fczd\u0259n u\u015fa\u011fa ox\u015fay\u0131r.R\u0259fiq\u0259m adama toxunan varl\u0131qlar haqq\u0131nda dan\u0131\u015fanda g\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fcm, gec\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131ma g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259rd\u0259n sonra daha h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 inanma\u011fa haz\u0131r\u0131yd\u0131m.
\nYen\u0259 d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fa bilmirdim, su ist\u0259yirdim, dilim-doda\u011f\u0131m qurumu\u015fdu. Molla qarda\u015f \u0259lind\u0259 ” Qurani-K\u0259rim “, hans\u0131 sur\u0259d\u0259niydi bilm\u0259dim, dua oxuma\u011fa davam el\u0259di.
\nAnama baxd\u0131m, diliml\u0259 doda\u011f\u0131m\u0131 islatd\u0131m. Deyirl\u0259r ha, balan\u0131 anadan yax\u015f\u0131 he\u00e7 kim duya bilm\u0259z, vallah, d\u00fcz s\u00f6hb\u0259tdi. \u0130slanm\u0131\u015f doda\u011f\u0131mdan anam ciy\u0259rimin yand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, suyu be\u015f saniy\u0259d\u0259 g\u0259tirdi, bir \u0259lini k\u00fcr\u0259yimin alt\u0131na sald\u0131, bir az qald\u0131r\u0131b suyumu i\u00e7izdirdi. Suyu i\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259n sonra dan\u0131\u015fa bil\u0259c\u0259yimi hiss el\u0259dim. Molla qarda\u015f\u0131n dualar\u0131n\u0131 bitirm\u0259y\u0259 h\u00f6vs\u0259l\u0259m \u00e7atmad\u0131
\nBirba\u015fa anamdan soru\u015fdu.
\n– M\u0259ni bo\u011fan kimiydi?
\nN\u0259n\u0259m – S\u0259n\u0259 toxunublar, bala. \u0130\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 yand\u0131randa yerd\u0259ydin.
\n– M\u0259ni qad\u0131n bo\u011furdu. Tualetd\u0259 u\u015faq vard\u0131.
\nMolla qarda\u015f astaca ” Bismillahir r\u0259hmanir r\u0259him ” dedi, sonra davam el\u0259di.
\n-Bac\u0131, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 cin-\u015feytan g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcb.
\n– M\u0259n\u0259 ad\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bat\u0131rm\u0131san deyirdi. Ba\u011fdak\u0131 tualetd\u0259 u\u015faq vard\u0131. G\u00f6z\u00fcml\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.
\nD\u0259d\u0259m – \u015e\u0259fi, tualetd\u0259 u\u015faq n\u0259 g\u0259zir? G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcb.
\nN\u0259n\u0259min yad\u0131na n\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcs\u0259, molla qarda\u015fdan soru\u015fdu.
\n– S\u00f6z soru\u015furam e, bizim evl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 n\u0259ys\u0259 bilirs\u0259n?
\nMolla qarda\u015f n\u0259n\u0259m\u0259 cavab verm\u0259y\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcd edirdi.
\n– Vallah, evl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 r\u0259vay\u0259tl\u0259r e\u015fitmi\u015fik. Onda m\u0259n he\u00e7 yoxuydum. Qoca n\u0259n\u0259m var, ondan e\u015fitmi\u015f\u0259m.
\nAtam – N\u0259 e\u015fitmis\u0259n?
\n– Guya evin otaqlarlndan biri tamam yan\u0131b.
\n– Hans\u0131 otaq? – h\u0259y\u0259canla soru\u015fdum.
\n– Onu bilmir\u0259m.
\nMolla qarda\u015f bir az da dua oxuyandan sonra m\u0259ni sabah d\u0259d\u0259ml\u0259 \u00f6z evind\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yini dedi. Qorxulu\u011fumu can\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131xarmal\u0131yd\u0131.
\nG\u00fcnortadan sonra n\u0259n\u0259ml\u0259 d\u00fcn\u0259n qat\u0131q ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ev\u0259 getdik. N\u0259n\u0259m cin-min s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259rin\u0259 q\u0131z vaxt\u0131ndan inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bu i\u015fin ax\u0131r\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xmaq ist\u0259yirdi.
\nQap\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6yd\u00fcm, yen\u0259 d\u00fcn\u0259nki g\u0259lin a\u00e7d\u0131. Salamla\u015fd\u0131q, n\u0259n\u0259m qaynanas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259diyini dedi. Bizi ev\u0259 d\u0259v\u0259t el\u0259di.
\nQaynanas\u0131 C\u0259vahir n\u0259n\u0259 ( \u00dcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, n\u0259n\u0259m ya\u015f\u0131nda, babam ya\u015f\u0131nda olanlara n\u0259n\u0259-baba deyir\u0259m) biz\u0259 xo\u015fg\u0259ldim el\u0259di, g\u0259lini \u00e7ay s\u00fcfr\u0259si a\u00e7d\u0131, bi\u015firdiyi gilas m\u00fcr\u0259bb\u0259sind\u0259n d\u0259 qoydu s\u00fcfr\u0259y\u0259.
\nYar\u0131m saatd\u0131r,n\u0259n\u0259m g\u0259lm\u0259yinin s\u0259b\u0259bind\u0259n s\u00f6hb\u0259t a\u00e7m\u0131r, h\u00f6vs\u0259l\u0259m daral\u0131r, arvadla g\u0259ldiyim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn pe\u015fman oluram.
\nSonunda n\u0259n\u0259m \u0259sl s\u0259b\u0259b\u0259 g\u0259ldi.
\n– C\u0259vahir bac\u0131, d\u00fcn\u0259n ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za maraql\u0131 i\u015f g\u0259lib. Gec\u0259 u\u015fa\u011fa da, m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 toxunublar.
\n\u0130lahi, otuz ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131 tamam el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, arvad h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 u\u015faq deyir. El\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 u\u015faq dedikl\u0259ri \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc qad\u0131n kimi hiss ed\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. V\u0259 bu minvalla bel\u0259 q\u0259rara g\u0259lir\u0259m ki, m\u00fcs\u0259lman \u00f6lk\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 valideyinl\u0259r \u00f6vladlar\u0131na s\u0259rb\u0259st q\u0259rar verm\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259 geni\u015f imkan yaratmad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan h\u0259r birimizin g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fc b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcr, ruhumuz u\u015faq olaraq qal\u0131r. Valideyinl\u0259rimiz k\u00f6\u00e7d\u00fckd\u0259n sonra a\u011fsaqqal, a\u011fbir\u00e7\u0259k statusunuz 100% qazan\u0131r\u0131q. N\u0259n\u0259m bir gec\u0259d\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za g\u0259l\u0259n hadis\u0259ni bir kitabl\u0131q \u0259s\u0259r formas\u0131nda dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131, \u00fcr\u0259yim \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc. \u00dcr\u0259yin \u00fcz\u00fcls\u00fcn, n\u0259n\u0259. Q\u0131sa k\u0259ss\u0259n\u0259….
\nHiss el\u0259dim, g\u0259linin d\u0131 \u00fcr\u0259yi s\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131. A\u011f\u0131ll\u0131 g\u0259lindir, m\u0259ni yataq ota\u011f\u0131na d\u0259v\u0259t el\u0259di, m\u0259n \u00f6z taleyimd\u0259n, o, \u00f6z h\u0259yat\u0131ndan dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131. S\u0259nub\u0259rin m\u0259nd\u0259n on ya\u015f ki\u00e7ik oldu\u011funu bil\u0259nd\u0259 inanmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fc ya\u015f\u0131ndan on d\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7ox g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, s\u00fcm\u00fcy\u00fc iri q\u0131zlardand\u0131r. Yolda\u015f\u0131 rayonda Co\u011frafiyadan d\u0259rs deyir, a\u00e7\u0131lan kurslarln birind\u0259 d\u0259 u\u015faq haz\u0131rla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. S\u0259nub\u0259rin \u00e7oxlu kitablarl vard\u0131. \u0130st\u0259r D\u00fcnya \u018fd\u0259biyyat\u0131ndan olsun, ist\u0259r yerli \u018fd\u0259biyyatdan. Sa\u011folla\u015fanda bir-iki kitab da verdi ki, oxuyub qaytar\u0131m.
\n– Arvad n\u0259 dedi s\u0259n\u0259?
\nN\u0259n\u0259m dizin\u0259 vurub, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yell\u0259di.
\n– Zibil\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f\u00fck, ay toba. Atana dedim d\u0259, dedim, evi almam\u0131\u015f soraqlamaq laz\u0131md\u0131r. On be\u015f min\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 otaql\u0131, geni\u015f ba\u011f\u0131 olan ev satarlar? \u018fm\u0259llic\u0259 poxa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f\u00fck.
\n– Ay n\u0259n\u0259, h\u00f6vs\u0259l\u0259mi niy\u0259 darald\u0131rsan? D\u00fcz\u0259mm\u0259li de g\u00f6r\u00fcm n\u0259 dedi d\u0259…
\n– Evd\u0259 ruh var.
\nAyaqlar\u0131m t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259di. N\u0259n\u0259m bir az qaba\u011fa ged\u0259nd\u0259n sonra g\u0259lm\u0259diyimi bildi, geri boyland\u0131.
\n– Az, s\u0259n niy\u0259 dayand\u0131n? G\u0259ls\u0259n\u0259.
\n– N\u0259n\u0259, d\u0259qiq evd\u0259 ruh var? Arvad d\u0259qiq el\u0259 dedi?
\n– Az, s\u0259yl\u0259m\u0259, d\u00fc\u015f qaba\u011fa.
\nN\u0259n\u0259m yan\u0131macan g\u0259ldi, qokumdan tutub \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n qaba\u011fa it\u0259l\u0259di.
\n– M\u0259n bilir\u0259m neyl\u0259m\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r. O mollan\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rar\u0131q, Quran oxuyar, ke\u00e7ib ged\u0259r.
\n– H\u0259 d\u0259, bizd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l alan ev sahibinin a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259lm\u0259yib ax\u0131. – n\u0259n\u0259m kinay\u0259yl\u0259 dediyimi bildi.
\n– N\u0259 varsa bizim yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z otaqda var. Ax\u015fam qonaq ota\u011f\u0131nda yatar\u0131q.
\n– M\u0259n d\u0259d\u0259mgill\u0259 yatacam.
\n– S\u0259nin ba\u015f\u0131n \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn el\u0259. T\u0259k qoyacaqsan az, m\u0259ni?
\nH\u0259rd\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, n\u0259n\u0259md\u0259n olsa, \u0259zray\u0131l\u0131n yan\u0131na da c\u00fct ged\u0259rik. Hara gets\u0259 \u0259ri kimi m\u0259ni qo\u015fur yan\u0131na. Hara getm\u0259k ist\u0259s\u0259m, d\u0259d\u0259md\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l soru\u015far.
\n– Kiml\u0259r g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrs\u0259n? R\u0259fiq\u0259n kiml\u0259rd\u0259ndir? Haral\u0131d\u0131r? – yersiz suallar\u0131ndan bezib o q\u0259d\u0259r yalan dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u00e7am ki!…Eh n\u0259n\u0259….
\nAx\u015fam \u015fam yem\u0259yind\u0259n sonra d\u0259d\u0259m balaca araq butulkas\u0131n\u0131 yem\u0259k yey\u0259-yey\u0259 \u00f6nc\u0259 bizim, sonra \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 ya\u015fayan n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259rinin sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u0259lli-\u0259lli vurandan sonra kefi k\u00f6k ham\u0131m\u0131zdan tez yatma\u011fa getmi\u015fdi. Bir az piyaniydi, amma \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc idar\u0259 edirdi. D\u0259d\u0259m araqdan sonra \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131 v\u0259 ya piv\u0259ni i\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc idar\u0259 ed\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259n piyan adamlardan olurdu. Yeyib-i\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259n sonra \u0259s\u0259bl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259n olmasa, dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b-g\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bu hal\u0131 bilmir\u0259m niy\u0259, m\u0259nim \u00e7ox xo\u015fuma g\u0259lirdi.
\nGec\u0259 anamla yerimizi qonaq ota\u011f\u0131nda sald\u0131q. Bu ota\u011f\u0131n da i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yan\u0131l\u0131 qoydum. Saat alt\u0131dan sonra h\u0259r ehtimala qar\u015f\u0131 su i\u00e7m\u0259dim. T\u0259rslikd\u0259n yuxum da g\u0259lmir, a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131zl\u0131qdan S\u0259nyb\u0259rd\u0259n g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcy\u00fcm kitab\u0131 d\u00fcn\u0259nki otaqda qoymu\u015fam. Kitab oxumam\u0131\u015f yata bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdim. N\u0259n\u0259m \u00e7oxdan yatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Doqquzuncu sinifd\u0259 oxuyanda yuxuda \u0259zb\u0259rl\u0259diyim ay\u0259t\u00fcl-k\u00fcrs\u00fcn\u00fc oxuya-oxuya n\u0259n\u0259ml\u0259 vahim\u0259miz\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b olan ota\u011f\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131na yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131m. Otaq anamgilin yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131 otaqla \u00fczb\u0259\u00fcz oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bir az \u00fcr\u0259kliydim. \u018flimi qap\u0131n\u0131n c\u0259ft\u0259sin\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131ram, c\u0259ft\u0259y\u0259 toxunmam\u0131\u015f \u0259limi \u00e7\u0259kir\u0259m. Qap\u0131 c\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259sini e\u015fitdim, qan\u0131m b\u0259d\u0259nimd\u0259 dondu, qorxudan \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fcm.
\nHiss edirdim kims\u0259 arxadan m\u0259n\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131r. O an m\u0259nim yerimd\u0259 olsayd\u0131n\u0131z, \u015fahidi olacaqd\u0131n\u0131z, adam\u0131n \u00fcr\u0259yinin dayanma\u011f\u0131 n\u0259di, az qala b\u0259d\u0259nind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xa. Qorxudan duam\u0131 s\u0259sli oxuya bilm\u0259dim. M\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyildi, dua yad\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. ” Allah ” deyirdim, ard\u0131n\u0131 g\u0259tir\u0259 bilmirdim. Beynimin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259k funksiyas\u0131 f\u0259aliyy\u0259tini dayand\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. D\u0259d\u0259min bir s\u00f6z\u00fc var. \u00d6lm\u0259k \u00f6lm\u0259kdir, can\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xmaq n\u0259dir? C\u0259ld geri d\u00f6n\u00fcb, d\u00fcn\u0259n yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131m qap\u0131ya k\u00fcr\u0259yimi \u00e7\u0131rpd\u0131m. Qap\u0131n\u0131 astaca a\u00e7an d\u0259d\u0259mdi. M\u0259n d\u0259d\u0259md\u0259n, d\u0259d\u0259m m\u0259nd\u0259n qorxmu\u015fdu. \u00c7\u0131rp\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m qap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131landa ombalar\u0131m yer\u0259 d\u0259ydi v\u0259 \u00e7ox incitdi. A\u011fr\u0131m\u0131n hay\u0131ndan oldu\u011fum vahim\u0259li ota\u011f\u0131n f\u0259rqind\u0259 deyildim. Dem\u0259li, a\u011fr\u0131-ac\u0131 qorxu hissini adama unutdurur. Bu v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 g\u0259r\u0259k atam \u0259limd\u0259n tutub aya\u011fa qald\u0131rmal\u0131yd\u0131, can\u0131yananl\u0131q el\u0259m\u0259liydi, el\u0259m\u0259di. Aya\u011fa qalx\u0131b utanmadan \u0259ll\u0259riml\u0259 ombalar\u0131m\u0131 s\u0131\u011fallaya-s\u0131\u011fallaya guya a\u011fr\u0131m\u0131 y\u00fcng\u00fcll\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. Atama baxd\u0131m, m\u0259n\u0259 yox, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 geri d\u00f6n\u00fcb atam baxan t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 baxd\u0131m. Baxa-baxa asta add\u0131mlarla atama t\u0259r\u0259f getdim. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n tualet\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f baxaraq a\u011flayan q\u0131z vard\u0131. \u018fynind\u0259 uzun, boz r\u0259ngd\u0259 par\u00e7a, qur\u015fa\u011f\u0131ndan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 l\u0259k\u0259l\u0259ri vard\u0131. L\u0259k\u0259l\u0259rin qan oldu\u011fu m\u0259nim a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259lmi\u015fdis\u0259, atam\u0131n da a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259rdi. Atam m\u0259n g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259rimi g\u00f6rm\u0259s\u0259ydi, ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131n pozuldu\u011funu fikirl\u0259\u015f\u0259rdim. Otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m, atam qolumdan tutdu, m\u0259ni \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f yax\u0131n \u00e7\u0259kdi. Q\u0131z a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131, biz\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f baxd\u0131. \u0130lahi, o q\u0131z\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259rini, simas\u0131n\u0131n r\u0259ngini yaza bilmir\u0259m. T\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr edin, iki g\u00fcn basd\u0131r\u0131lmayan meyidin r\u0259ngi nec\u0259 olar?!…
\nAtam bir d\u0259f\u0259 y\u00fcng\u00fcl infarkt ke\u00e7irmi\u015fdi, ikinci d\u0259f\u0259 lap g\u00fccl\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc ke\u00e7ir\u0259c\u0259yi d\u0259 a\u011fl\u0131mdan ke\u00e7di.Q\u0131z\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 fikir verdim, qap\u0131n\u0131n arxas\u0131na baxd\u0131, o da el\u0259 bil qorxurdu. Bizim g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fcz ruhdursa, vallah, ruhlar\u0131n qorxdu\u011funu yox, qorxutduqlar\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitmi\u015f\u0259m. Qap\u0131n\u0131n arxas\u0131ndak\u0131n\u0131n n\u0259 oldu\u011fu m\u0259n\u0259 maraql\u0131yd\u0131, di g\u0259l, \u00fcr\u0259kli o\u011ful ist\u0259yir\u0259m ( burda d\u0259d\u0259mi n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259 tuturam), \u00fcr\u0259kli q\u0131z axtar\u0131ram ( art\u0131q \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259 tuturam) iki add\u0131m qaba\u011fa getsin. Q\u0131z q\u0259fild\u0259n q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rd\u0131, d\u0259d\u0259ml\u0259 m\u0259n d\u0259 ona qo\u015fulub q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rd\u0131q. Bu zaman qap\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131ld\u0131. D\u0259d\u0259ml\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131ra-q\u0131\u015fq\u0131ra anam yatan ota\u011fa qa\u00e7d\u0131q. Qap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q qald\u0131, biz \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc anam\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki \u0259dyal\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kib, yataqda bir-birimiz\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131b, \u0259dyal\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za \u00e7\u0259kdik ki, he\u00e7 n\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259k. Yaz\u0131q anam\u0131n q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rma\u011f\u0131na da fikir verm\u0259dik. D\u0259d\u0259mi bilmir\u0259m, s\u0259mimi olacam, m\u0259n \u00f6z hay\u0131mdayd\u0131m. Anan ikimizin d\u0259 \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rd\u0131.
\n– N\u0259 olub siz\u0259? Niy\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131rs\u0131z?
\n– Getm\u0259…Bura g\u0259l, getm\u0259. – D\u0259d\u0259m k\u0259k\u0259l\u0259yirdi.
\n– Hara getm\u0259yim? Dayan, su g\u0259tirim. S\u0259n\u0259 dedim d\u0259 i\u00e7m\u0259. – anam otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xanda atam yan\u0131mdan qalxd\u0131, anam\u0131n qolundan tutub ota\u011fa t\u0259r\u0259f \u00e7\u0259kib qap\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rtd\u00fc.
\n– Ruh var. D\u0259d\u0259min goruba and olsun, ruhu g\u00f6rd\u00fck.
\nQap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131landa atam iki saniy\u0259lik q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131b susdu. N\u0259n\u0259miydi, o da bizim s\u0259s-k\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fczd\u0259n s\u0259ks\u0259nmi\u015fdi.
\n– \u018f, niy\u0259 s\u0259sinizi ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131za at\u0131rs\u0131z? \u00dcr\u0259yim q\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131, dedim, g\u00f6r\u0259n n\u0259 olub?
\n– Mama, ruh var. O otaqda ruhu g\u00f6rd\u00fck. N\u0259n\u0259m qap\u0131s\u0131 ba\u011fl\u0131 ota\u011fa baxd\u0131, bizim ota\u011f\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rtd\u00fc. \u018fliyl\u0259 i\u015far\u0259 el\u0259di ki, s\u0259simizi \u00e7\u0131xartmayaq.
\n\u018fdyal ba\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0259kdim. U\u015faq vaxt\u0131 qorxanda \u0259lim\u0259 \u0259dyaldan, yor\u011fandan n\u0259 ke\u00e7s\u0259, ba\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0259k\u0259rdim. Guya t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259d\u0259n can\u0131m\u0131 qurtar\u0131ram. Qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fin qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitdik. \u018fdyal\u0131 burnumacan \u00e7\u0259kdim, qorxaraq qap\u0131ya bax\u0131rd\u0131m. N\u0259n\u0259m qula\u011f\u0131n\u0131 qap\u0131ya dir\u0259mi\u015fdi, anam d\u0259d\u0259min arxas\u0131nda gizl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Add\u0131m s\u0259sl\u0259rini e\u015fitdik. Kims\u0259 hikk\u0259yl\u0259 qonaq ota\u011f\u0131na t\u0259r\u0259f getdi. Qonaq ota\u011f\u0131nda n\u0259yins\u0259 yer\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb s\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitdik. \u0130\u00e7imi \u00e7\u0259kdim, sakitc\u0259 a\u011flama\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. H\u0259yatda iki c\u00fcr \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u0259n qorxmu\u015fam. \u0130ndi d\u0259 qorxuram. Bel\u0259 \u0259caib, m\u00fc\u0259mmal\u0131 \u00f6lm\u0259kd\u0259n v\u0259 …. ya da yazm\u0131ram. H\u0259r k\u0259sin oldu\u011fu kimi m\u0259ni d\u0259 sevm\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259r var. Kim bilir, b\u0259lk\u0259 aralar\u0131nda biri qatil ruhunu g\u0259zdirir \u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259? D\u00fc\u015fm\u0259nimin z\u0259if t\u0259r\u0259fimi bilm\u0259yini ist\u0259m\u0259r\u0259m t\u0259bii.
\nAnam yan\u0131ma g\u0259ldi,ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 sin\u0259sin\u0259 s\u0131xd\u0131. Ana quca\u011f\u0131nda a\u011flamaq, \u00fcr\u0259yini bo\u015faltmaq kimi g\u00f6z\u0259l bir \u015fey yoxdur d\u00fcnyada. Bu d\u00fcnyada ana \u00fcr\u0259yi q\u0259d\u0259r d\u00f6z\u00fcml\u00fc ikinci \u00fcr\u0259k d\u0259 tan\u0131m\u0131ram. Ana \u00fcr\u0259yi da\u011f \u00fcr\u0259yidir.
\nAdd\u0131m s\u0259sl\u0259ri bizim qap\u0131m\u0131za yax\u0131nla\u015fanda dayand\u0131. N\u0259n\u0259m qulaqlar\u0131n\u0131 qap\u0131dan aralad\u0131, d\u0259d\u0259m anas\u0131n\u0131 qucaqlad\u0131. \u0130ndi yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 anlay\u0131ram ; insan bir sevgid\u0259n, bir d\u0259 qorxudan bir-birin\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131r. \u0130kisi d\u0259 m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u00f6ht\u0259\u015f\u0259mdir. \u015e\u0259kil \u00e7\u0259k\u0259nimiz olsayd\u0131, bizim m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259mizi \u00e7\u0259k\u0259rdi.
\nQap\u0131m\u0131z \u00fc\u00e7 d\u0259f\u0259 d\u00f6y\u00fcld\u00fc, bu d\u0259f\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rmad\u0131q. M\u0259n daha da anama q\u0131s\u0131ld\u0131m….
\nYen\u0259 add\u0131m s\u0259sl\u0259rini e\u015fitdik, qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fin qap\u0131s\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lma\u011f\u0131yla \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131lma\u011f\u0131 bir oldu, i\u00e7imizi \u00e7\u0259kdik.
\nO gec\u0259 d\u00f6rd\u00fcm\u00fcz d\u0259 ikin\u0259f\u0259rlik d\u00f6\u015f\u0259kd\u0259 bir-birimiz\u0259 q\u0131s\u0131l\u0131b, g\u00f6zl\u0259rimizi qap\u0131ya zill\u0259mi\u015fdik. N\u0259n\u0259ml\u0259 anam\u0131n ortas\u0131ndayd\u0131m. D\u0259d\u0259m \u00f6z anas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131ndayd\u0131.
\n– P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n qa\u00e7a bil\u0259rik. – anam n\u0259 t\u0259klif etdiyini \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 bilmirdi v\u0259 ham\u0131m\u0131z anam\u0131 \u00e7ox yax\u015f\u0131 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fck.
\nAnamgilin p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259si h\u0259y\u0259tin d\u0259mir darvazas\u0131yla \u00fczb\u0259\u00fcz\u00fcyd\u00fc.
\n– Gec\u0259 vaxt\u0131 hara ged\u0259k? Me\u015f\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131r\u0131q. – d\u0259d\u0259m cavab verdi.
\n– \u018fn yax\u0131n qon\u015fumuzla aram\u0131zdak\u0131 m\u0259saf\u0259 yar\u0131m saatdan \u00e7oxdu.- n\u0259n\u0259m dill\u0259ndi. M\u0259nim dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa taq\u0259tim qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259m d\u0259 n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015facaqd\u0131m, v\u0259ziyy\u0259timiz ortadayd\u0131.
\nN\u0259n\u0259m m\u0259n\u0259 – S\u0259n uzan yatSu da yoxdu e, u\u015faq i\u00e7sin, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259lsin.<\/p>\n

S\u0259h\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131lana q\u0259d\u0259r, anam m\u0259ni oyadana q\u0259d\u0259r yatm\u0131\u015fam. O qorxuyla nec\u0259 yatm\u0131\u015fam, x\u0259b\u0259rim olmay\u0131b. Ota\u011f\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 birinci atam h\u0259y\u0259canla, qorxaraq q\u0259fild\u0259n a\u00e7d\u0131. He\u00e7 kim yoxuydu. Qar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdak\u0131 ota\u011f\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131 ba\u011fl\u0131yd\u0131. Bir-bir otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131q, n\u00f6vb\u0259yl\u0259 hamama ke\u00e7dik, \u0259l-\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc yuduqdan sonra qonaq ota\u011f\u0131na g\u0259ldik. Gec\u0259 s\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131lan g\u00fclqab\u0131yd\u0131, anam\u0131n otuz \u00fc\u00e7 illik evliliyi q\u0259d\u0259r salamat qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131za q\u0131r\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 batmas\u0131n dey\u0259 add\u0131mlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ehtiyatla at\u0131rd\u0131q.
\nM\u0259n yatanda ev paltar\u0131m\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259mi\u015fdim, n\u0259n\u0259min donu stulun ba\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131. Anamla atam otaqlar\u0131nda \u00e7oxdan geyinmi\u015fdil\u0259r paltarlar\u0131n\u0131. S\u0259h\u0259r yem\u0259yini yem\u0259k a\u011fl\u0131m\u0131zdan da ke\u00e7mirdi. Bir n\u0259f\u0259r kimi evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131q, atam evin qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ba\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131, m\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc ba\u011fdak\u0131 tualetd\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kmirdim. Niy\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 k\u00f6rp\u0259 u\u015faq g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc? – sual\u0131n\u0131 verirdim \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259?
\nN\u0259n\u0259m \u00fcmidl\u0259rini \u00e7a\u011f\u0131raca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z molla qarda\u015fa ba\u011flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 hiss edir\u0259m ki, m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259nin k\u00f6k\u00fc t\u0259kc\u0259 mollal\u0131q, dual\u0131q deyil.
\nD\u0259d\u0259m – getdik – dey\u0259nd\u0259, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcz d\u0259 qaba\u011f\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fck, d\u0259mir darvazaya yax\u0131nla\u015fanda d\u0259d\u0259ml\u0259 birlikd\u0259 qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131q. Anamla n\u0259n\u0259m ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n arxa oturaca\u011f\u0131nda oturmu\u015fdu. D\u0259d\u0259min ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 boz r\u0259ngd\u0259 1985-ci ilin istehsal\u0131 olan Qaz 24- d\u00fcr. Dey\u0259rdim d\u00fcnyada \u0259n rahat ma\u015f\u0131nd\u0131r. M\u0259n d\u0259d\u0259min yan\u0131nda – qabaqda oturdum. D\u0259d\u0259m ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 q\u0131zd\u0131rd\u0131qdan sonra s\u00fcr\u0259r\u0259k h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131.Ma\u015f\u0131ndan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb darvazan\u0131 a\u00e7arla ba\u011flad\u0131.
\n– Hara gedirik – Anam soru\u015fdu.
\n– D\u00fcn\u0259nki mollan\u0131n evin\u0259
\n– Ondan \u0259vv\u0259l n\u0259ys\u0259 yey\u0259k, r\u0259ngimiz-urfumuz yerin\u0259 g\u0259lsin – n\u0259n\u0259m haql\u0131yd\u0131. Adam toxqar\u0131na yax\u015f\u0131 fikirl\u0259\u015fir.
\n– Yolda t\u0259ndirl\u0259 pendir alaram. – d\u0259d\u0259m\u0259 yem\u0259k maraql\u0131 deyildi.
\nYolda t\u0259ndir, pendir, ayran alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q. Biz yeyirdik, d\u0259d\u0259m yox, ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 molla qarda\u015f\u0131n evin\u0259 aparan yolla s\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc…
\nMolla qarda\u015fn evind\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n v\u0259 n\u0259n\u0259sind\u0259n ba\u015fqa insan yoxuydu, qarda\u015f n\u0259n\u0259 himay\u0259sind\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259n g\u0259nc olub. Valideyinl\u0259rinin ba\u015f\u0131na n\u0259 g\u0259ldiyini soru\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259lumat\u0131m yoxdur. Bizi tez g\u00f6zl\u0259mirdi, yen\u0259 d\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131, n\u0259n\u0259si d\u0259 xo\u015fg\u0259ldim el\u0259di. N\u0259n\u0259sinin y\u00fcz\u00fcn ipind\u0259n tutma\u011f\u0131na he\u00e7 \u00fc\u00e7 il qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130ki il ne\u00e7\u0259 aysa bir \u0259srin n\u0259n\u0259si titulunu \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 g\u0259zdirm\u0259k ehtimal\u0131 y\u00fczd\u0259 y\u00fczd\u00fcr. O da Allah \u0259l g\u0259zdirm\u0259s\u0259. K\u0259ndimiz i\u015f\u011fal olunmasayd\u0131, ya da sat\u0131lmasayd\u0131, day oras\u0131n\u0131 geni\u015f yaz\u0131b m\u0259tl\u0259bd\u0259n uzaqla\u015fmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m, n\u0259n\u0259m k\u0259ndd\u0259 ya\u015fasayd\u0131, simas\u0131 indikind\u0259n d\u0259 cavan g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259rdi. N\u0259n\u0259min k\u00f6hn\u0259 \u015f\u0259kill\u0259rini anam\u0131n albomunda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m. H\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n \u00e7ox g\u00f6z\u0259l olub g\u0259ncliyind\u0259. Sonradan ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm, babam niy\u0259 n\u0259n\u0259mi \u00fc\u00e7 d\u0259f\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131b. H\u0259, h\u0259, n\u0259n\u0259m \u00e7ox t\u0259rs q\u0131z olub. G\u00f6z\u0259lliyin\u0259 b\u0259l\u0259d oldu\u011fundan nazlanmaq vaxt\u0131n\u0131 dig\u0259r q\u0131zlara nisb\u0259t\u0259n \u00e7ox uzad\u0131b. Babamla \u0259miu\u015fa\u011f\u0131 olublar. R\u0259hm\u0259tlik ki\u015fi ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yini a\u00e7\u0131b, ” yox ” cavab\u0131ndan ba\u015fqa cavab e\u015fitm\u0259yib. N\u0259n\u0259m atas\u0131n\u0131 tez itirmi\u015fdi, anas\u0131yla qohumlar aras\u0131nda t\u0259k ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. Babam g\u00f6rd\u00fc ki, yox e, el\u00e7il\u0259ri \u00e7oxdu, q\u0131z \u0259ld\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xacaq, ilk f\u00fcrs\u0259td\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131b n\u0259n\u0259mi. N\u0259n\u0259m d\u0259 ilk f\u00fcrs\u0259td\u0259 babam onu evd\u0259 t\u0259k qoyanda ata oca\u011f\u0131na qa\u00e7\u0131b, iki aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bir ba\u015fma\u011fa dir\u0259yib ki, m\u0259n \u0259mio\u011fluna arvad olmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m, qutard\u0131.
\nN\u0259n\u0259md\u0259 k\u00fcrd t\u0259rsliyi, babam ondan bet\u0259r t\u0259rs k\u00fcrd. \u0130kinci d\u0259f\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131, yen\u0259 n\u0259n\u0259m ata oca\u011f\u0131na qa\u00e7d\u0131. Yaz\u0131q ki\u015fi neyl\u0259sin, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc d\u0259f\u0259 qap\u0131n\u0131 da, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259l\u0259ri d\u0259 ba\u011flayandan sonra n\u0259n\u0259m ba\u015f\u0131ndak\u0131 yayl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ingilis bayra\u011f\u0131fason havada yell\u0259di. Ki\u015fi q\u0259fild\u0259n r\u0259hm\u0259t\u0259 ged\u0259n\u0259c\u0259n xo\u015fb\u0259xt ya\u015fad\u0131lar. Babam fa\u011f\u0131r ki\u015fi olub, kimi dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131r\u0131rsan, sakit, mehriban olubdu, deyirl\u0259r. H\u0259r\u00e7\u0259nd g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, he\u00e7 bir n\u0259v\u0259sini g\u00f6rm\u0259yib ki\u015fi
\nRuhu \u015fad olsun, \u015f\u0259kill\u0259rd\u0259n, qohumlar\u0131n xatir\u0259l\u0259tind\u0259n tan\u0131y\u0131ram babam\u0131.
\nN\u0259n\u0259ml\u0259 molla qarda\u015f\u0131n n\u0259n\u0259si ( q\u0259rib\u0259 ad\u0131 vard\u0131, xat\u0131rlaya bilmir\u0259m) bir-biriyl\u0259 dil tapd\u0131. \u00dcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, n\u0259n\u0259m m\u0259nd\u0259n ba\u015fqa ham\u0131yla dil tap\u0131r. Burdan bel\u0259 n\u0259tic\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r ki, problem m\u0259nim \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259dir. Bir \u0259srlik n\u0259n\u0259 h\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r, evimizin sirrind\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131r. Birc\u0259 onu dey\u0259nd\u0259 ki, ev r\u0259hm\u0259tlik bac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n olub, ham\u0131m\u0131z t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndik. Molla qarda\u015fa baxd\u0131m, bizimkil\u0259rd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l sual verdim.
\n– D\u00fcn\u0259n niy\u0259 dem\u0259diz qohumunuzun evidir?
\nBirinci m\u0131z\u0131ldand\u0131, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131z olasan, bu sual\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259s\u0259n.
\n– Vallah, m\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 d\u0259qiq he\u00e7 n\u0259 bilmir\u0259m.
\n– K\u0259ndd\u0259 t\u0259k molla sizsiz. Bizd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l evi alanlar da qap\u0131n\u0131za g\u0259lib, dua oxumusuz. N\u0259n\u0259niz y\u0259ni siz\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259yib?
\nD\u0259d\u0259m filmin maraql\u0131 yerind\u0259 kanal\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fdirdiyi kimi, s\u00f6hb\u0259tin d\u0259 maraql\u0131 yerind\u0259 araya s\u00f6z sald\u0131, g\u00f6zl\u0259rini m\u0259n\u0259 a\u011fartd\u0131. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, molla cavab verm\u0259kd\u0259n yaxas\u0131n\u0131 qurtard\u0131.
\n\u018fsrlik n\u0259n\u0259 dill\u0259ndi.
\n– Qarda\u015f\u0131m ba\u015fqa rayonda ya\u015fay\u0131r. Bac\u0131m \u00f6lm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l evi m\u0259n\u0259 vermi\u015fdi. M\u0259n d\u0259 pula ehtiyac\u0131m vard\u0131, satd\u0131m. D\u00fcz\u00fc, qarda\u015f\u0131m evi satma\u011f\u0131ma \u0259s\u0259bl\u0259\u015fdi.
\nN\u0259n\u0259m – Bac\u0131n x\u0259st\u0259ydi? – n\u0259n\u0259m sual\u0131 \u00fcr\u0259yimc\u0259 verdi.
\n– Yox, sap-sa\u011flam arvad\u0131yd\u0131. X\u0259st\u0259 niy\u0259 olur?
\n– Onda niy\u0259 evi s\u0259n\u0259 verdi? B\u0259yaq dedin ki, q\u0131z\u0131, n\u0259v\u0259si varm\u0131\u015f. Onlara niy\u0259 verm\u0259di, dur\u011fdu\u011fu yerd\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 verdi? \u00d6l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259rini \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259d\u0259n bilirdi ki? N\u0259ys\u0259 bac\u0131, s\u0259n biz\u0259 d\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc demirs\u0259n. \u0130ncim\u0259 e, s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc gizl\u0259dib, nala-m\u0131xa vuran adamlardan deyil\u0259m. Dey\u0259k ki, m\u0259n qocalm\u0131\u015fam, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 n\u0259ys\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc. Ham\u0131m\u0131z d\u0259li olmam\u0131\u015f\u0131q ha. Ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc d\u0259 o n\u0259dirs\u0259.
\nSa\u011f ol, n\u0259n\u0259. ” \u018fhm\u0259d haradad\u0131r ” filmind\u0259ki Z\u00fcl\u00fcmov demi\u015fk\u0259n, deputat kimi dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan.
\nN\u0259n\u0259mim suallar\u0131na cavab tapa bilm\u0259y\u0259n \u0259srlik arvad dill\u0259ndi.
\n– Vallah, \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 bilmir\u0259m evi m\u0259n\u0259 niy\u0259 verdi. N\u0259v\u0259m g\u0259l\u0259r dostlar\u0131yla dua oxuyarlar ke\u00e7ib ged\u0259r. \u00c7ay\u0131\u0131z\u0131 i\u00e7in, soyumas\u0131n.
\nD\u0259d\u0259m \u00e7ay i\u00e7\u0259-i\u00e7\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc.
\nMolla qarda\u015f \u00f6z\u00fc kimi iki molla dostuna z\u0259ng el\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xmaq ist\u0259yirdi, verdiyim suala aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 saxlad\u0131.
\n– N\u0259n\u0259, bac\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n n\u0259v\u0259si ail\u0259liydi?
\nMolla qarda\u015f n\u0259n\u0259siyl\u0259 bir-birin\u0259 baxd\u0131lar.
\n– Yox, niy\u0259 ki?
\n– \u00c7\u00fcnki k\u00f6rp\u0259 u\u015faq da g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

G\u00fcc-b\u0259layla, bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131zdan k\u0259s\u0259-k\u0259s\u0259, h\u0259r f\u0259sl\u0259 bir paltar ala-ala \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259 rayonlar\u0131n birind\u0259 ev ald\u0131q ki, yaydan-yaya gedib istirah\u0259t ed\u0259k, on iki ay\u0131n he\u00e7 olmasa bir ay\u0131nda t\u0259miz hava udaq, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz canl\u0131-canl\u0131 me\u015f\u0259 g\u00f6rs\u00fcn, da\u011f g\u00f6rs\u00fcn, ya\u011f\u0131\u015f ya\u011fanda torpaq qoxusu burnumuzdan beynimiz\u0259 t\u00fc\u011fyan el\u0259sin, al\u0131nmad\u0131. \u0130lk g\u00fcnd\u0259n burnumuzdan g\u0259ldi. D\u0259d\u0259m evi ucuz alanda g\u0259r\u0259k \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259n\u0259rdik. Ondan \u0259vv\u0259l […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27317","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27317","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27317"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27317\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27329,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27317\/revisions\/27329"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27317"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27317"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27317"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}