{"id":27661,"date":"2018-07-24T05:00:46","date_gmt":"2018-07-24T01:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=27661"},"modified":"2018-07-24T15:21:23","modified_gmt":"2018-07-24T11:21:23","slug":"xalq-sairi-b%c9%99xtiyar-vahabzad%c9%99-sandiqdan-s%c9%99sl%c9%99r","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=27661","title":{"rendered":"Xalq \u015fairi B\u0259xtiyar VAHABZAD\u018f.”Sand\u0131qdan s\u0259sl\u0259r”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

M\u00dc\u018fLL\u0130FD\u018fN<\/p>\n

Sovetl\u0259r \u0130ttifaq\u0131 da\u011f\u0131landan sonra arxivimi ara\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131m, g\u0259nclik ill\u0259rind\u0259n yazma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcnd\u0259likl\u0259rimi, \u00e7ap olunmam\u0131\u015f \u015feirl\u0259rimi varaqlad\u0131m, ke\u00e7diyim yollar\u0131 d\u0259ft\u0259r s\u0259hif\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 yenid\u0259n ke\u00e7ib h\u0259m f\u0259r\u0259hl\u0259ndim, h\u0259m d\u0259 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcfl\u0259ndim. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 f\u0259r\u0259hl\u0259ndim ki, g\u0259nclik ill\u0259rimd\u0259 d\u0259 h\u0259qiq\u0259ti g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f, a\u011f\u0131 qaradan se\u00e7\u0259 bilmi\u015f, duy\u011fular\u0131m\u0131, fikirl\u0259rimi q\u0259lbimd\u0259 gizl\u0259tm\u0259mi\u015f, m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n q\u0259d\u0259r yaz\u0131ya k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcr\u0259 bilmi\u015f\u0259m. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcfl\u0259ndim ki, \u00f6m\u00fcr yollar\u0131nda b\u00fcdr\u0259m\u0259l\u0259rim d\u0259 olmu\u015f, duy\u011fu v\u0259 fikirl\u0259rimi a\u00e7\u0131q-a\u015fkar v\u0259 tam d\u0259qiqliyi il\u0259 yaza bilm\u0259mi\u015f, zaman\u0131n tufanlar\u0131ndan ehtiyat etdiyim hallar da olmu\u015fdur.
\nO d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli ill\u0259rd\u0259 \u00e7apa ver\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim, yaln\u0131z yazmaqla t\u0259s\u0259lli tapd\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu \u015feirl\u0259r q\u0259lbimin f\u0259ryad\u0131 – y\u0259ni, o zaman\u0131n a\u011fr\u0131, ac\u0131lar\u0131d\u0131r. 1950-ci ill\u0259rd\u0259n Sovetl\u0259r \u0130ttifaq\u0131 da\u011f\u0131lana q\u0259d\u0259r yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f v\u0259 arxivimd\u0259 gizl\u0259dilmi\u015f bu \u015feirl\u0259rin bir qismi ilk d\u0259f\u0259 “Na\u011f\u0131l-h\u0259yat” (1991), “\u00dcmid\u0259 heyk\u0259l qoyun” (1993), “K\u00f6rp\u00fc \u00e7aydan uzaq d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb” (1996) kitablar\u0131mda, tam halda is\u0259 7 cildlik “\u018fs\u0259rl\u0259ri”min 6-c\u0131 cildind\u0259 (2003 “Sand\u0131qdan s\u0259sl\u0259r” ba\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 alt\u0131nda \u00e7ap olunmu\u015fdur. Burada veril\u0259n \u015feirl\u0259r onlar\u0131n yaln\u0131z c\u00fczi bir qismidir.<\/p>\n

NA\u011eIL \u2013 H\u018fYAT<\/p>\n

Anam olsan bel\u0259, ay anam, xeyli,
\nS\u0259nd\u0259n gileyliy\u0259m, s\u0259nd\u0259n gileyli…
\nS\u0259n duymaq d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259k \u00f6yr\u0259tdin m\u0259n\u0259,
\nDuyub-d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259kd\u0259n azad olayd\u0131m.
\nDan\u0131\u015fmaq \u00f6yr\u0259tdin s\u0259n \u00f6z k\u00f6rp\u0259n\u0259
\nNola, m\u0259n anadan lal do\u011fulayd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Dilini bir il\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259ndim… nahaq!..
\n\u00d6z dilim \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 k\u0259silib ya\u011f\u0131.
\nB\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6mr\u00fcm boyu \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, ancaq
\n\u00d6yr\u0259n\u0259 bilm\u0259dim dan\u0131\u015fmama\u011f\u0131…
\nBa\u015f\u0131ma b\u0259lad\u0131r m\u0259nim \u00f6z dilim,
\nD\u0259niz\u0259m \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 durub sahilim.<\/p>\n

Yerim\u0259k \u00f6yr\u0259tdin tutub \u0259limd\u0259n,
\nDola\u015fd\u0131m aran\u0131, dola\u015fd\u0131m da\u011f\u0131.
\nBalana yerim\u0259k \u00f6yr\u0259dinc\u0259 s\u0259n,
\nG\u0259r\u0259k \u00f6yr\u0259d\u0259ydin y\u0131x\u0131lmama\u011f\u0131…<\/p>\n

Fikirl\u0259r y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131r beynimd\u0259 qat-qat,
\nCavablar-qorxulu, suallar-yasaq.
\nH\u0259yat\u0131 qanana \u00f6geydir h\u0259yat,
\nOnu qanmayana do\u011fmad\u0131r ancaq.<\/p>\n

M\u0259ni incidirl\u0259r b\u0259z\u0259n q\u0259sd il\u0259,
\nErt\u0259si h\u0259r \u015feyi unuduram m\u0259n.
\nGir\u0259v\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 zalim\u0259 bel\u0259
\nZ\u00fclm edib, kam almaq g\u0259lmir \u0259limd\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Ana, quduzla\u015f\u0131r h\u0259yat, ilb\u0259il,
\nDalay\u0131r pu\u00e7 olan \u00fcmidl\u0259rimi.
\nNiy\u0259 isti deyil, mehriban deyil
\nBu amans\u0131z h\u0259yat quca\u011f\u0131n kimi?..
\nHardasan, ay ana, bir g\u0259l, m\u0259n yen\u0259<\/p>\n

B\u0259lal\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 qoyum dizin\u0259.
\nM\u0259n\u0259 na\u011f\u0131l dan\u0131\u015f, dayans\u0131n anlar,
\nG\u00f6r\u00fcm, na\u011f\u0131ldak\u0131 o q\u0259hr\u0259manlar
\nC\u00fctba\u015fl\u0131 divl\u0259ri n\u0259 t\u0259h\u0259r y\u0131x\u0131r,
\nN\u0259 t\u0259h\u0259r gizl\u0259nib, tilsimd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Bir dan\u0131\u015f, hardad\u0131r, g\u00f6r\u00fcm, s\u0259ad\u0259t?
\nBizim yurdumuza o niy\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259z?
\nDan\u0131\u015f, dan\u0131\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcm, M\u0259lik M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259d
\nZ\u00fclm\u0259td\u0259n i\u015f\u0131\u011fa nec\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131 b\u0259s?<\/p>\n

Dan\u0131\u015fma ay anam, dan\u0131\u015fma, kiri,
\nBeynim\u0259 batmay\u0131r bu \u0259fsan\u0259l\u0259r.
\nDivl\u0259r g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m ki, na\u011f\u0131l divl\u0259ri,
\nOnlar\u0131n yan\u0131nda toyu\u011fa b\u0259nz\u0259r.<\/p>\n

Nadanlar g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, \u00f6z yolundak\u0131
\nDik\u0259 eni\u015f deyir, d\u00fcz\u0259 dik deyir.
\nT\u00fclk\u00fcl\u0259r g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, \u00f6z qolundak\u0131
\nD\u0259mir z\u0259ncirl\u0259r\u0259 bil\u0259rzik deyir.<\/p>\n

Atasm\u0131 s\u00f6y\u0259n, yada ba\u015f \u0259y\u0259n
\nR\u0259hb\u0259rl\u0259r g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, q\u0259ddar, amans\u0131z.
\nTikana g\u00fcl dey\u0259n, g\u00fcl\u0259 kol dey\u0259n
\nQar\u0131lar g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m dinsiz, imans\u0131z.<\/p>\n

Quldurlar g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, \u00f6zg\u0259 yer deyil,
\nYurdunu talay\u0131b asud\u0259 yatm\u0131\u015f.
\nTacirl\u0259r g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, simuz\u0259r deyil
\n“Malades” s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 V\u0259t\u0259ni satm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n

D\u00fcnyam bil\u0259nd\u0259n, duyandan b\u0259ri
\nM\u0259nim g\u00f6zl\u0259rimd\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb h\u0259yat da.
\nNa\u011f\u0131lda g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm qorxunc \u015feyl\u0259ri,
\nH\u0259yatda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, anam, h\u0259yatda.<\/p>\n

Yanvar, 1964 – may, 1965<\/p>\n

H\u00d6R\u00dcM\u00c7\u018fK TOR BA\u011eLADI<\/p>\n

Tariximiz dan\u0131ld\u0131,
\nUydurma tarix il\u0259 kimliyimiz an\u0131ld\u0131 –
\n\u00d6z k\u00f6k\u00fcn\u00fc bilm\u0259y\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fc k\u00fcll\u00fc bu mill\u0259t
\nZaman\u0131n yollannda h\u0259r add\u0131mda yan\u0131ld\u0131.
\nUydurma tarix bizi anam\u0131zdan ay\u0131r\u0131b
\nYad anadan al\u0131nm\u0131\u015f b\u0259l\u0259kd\u0259 qundaqlad\u0131,
\nT\u0259m\u0259limiz laxlad\u0131.
\nBu xalq\u0131n tarixini d\u00fcz bildir\u0259n, d\u00fcz yazan
\nTarix kitablar\u0131nda h\u00f6r\u00fcm\u00e7\u0259k tor ba\u011flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Kim\u0259 dey\u0259k d\u0259rdini bu d\u00f6vran\u0131n, bu g\u00fcn\u00fcn?
\nV\u0259zif\u0259y\u0259 s\u00fcms\u00fcn\u0259n
\nV\u0259zif\u0259 k\u00fcrs\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcn
\nBirinci pill\u0259sind\u0259 m\u0259rk\u0259zd\u0259n noxtaland\u0131.
\nKi\u015filiyi vard\u0131sa, bu anda axtaland\u0131…
\n\u00dcr\u0259kd\u0259ki c\u0259sar\u0259t,
\nm\u0259rdan\u0259lik,
\nd\u0259yan\u0259t
\ntaland\u0131,
\ntapdaland\u0131.
\nM\u0259\u011frur ke\u00e7mi\u015fimizd\u0259n \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc \u0259ll\u0259rimiz
\n\u015e\u0259r\u0259f bildik \u00f6zg\u0259y\u0259 qul olma\u011f\u0131, yoxsa, biz?
\nH\u0259r c\u00fcr\u0259 z\u00fclm\u00fc udduq.
\nK\u00f6l\u0259liyi qazan\u0131b, a\u011fal\u0131\u011f\u0131 unutduq.
\nVicdan, d\u00fczl\u00fck, h\u0259qiq\u0259t s\u00fcrg\u00fcn oldu bu yerd\u0259n.
\nYaltaql\u0131q v\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t silah\u0131n\u0131 ya\u011flad\u0131.
\nC\u0259sar\u0259t q\u0131l\u0131nc\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc k\u0259s\u0259rd\u0259n,
\nQ\u0259bz\u0259sind\u0259, q\u0131n\u0131nda h\u00f6r\u00fcm\u00e7\u0259k tor ba\u011flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Dilimiz yasaq oldu.
\nRuhumuz q\u0259lbimizd\u0259 \u0259b\u0259di dustaq oldu.
\nRuhsuz ya\u015fad\u0131qca biz
\nVicdan\u0131m\u0131z, e\u015fqimiz
\n\u00dcz\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259 a\u011f oldu.<\/p>\n

Biz bel\u0259c\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131q, ya\u015famad\u0131q, s\u00fcr\u00fcnd\u00fck,
\n\u018fm\u0259limizd\u0259 deyil, s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fczd\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fck.
\nRuhumuz qan a\u011flad\u0131,
\nM\u0259scid qap\u0131lar\u0131nda h\u00f6r\u00fcm\u00e7\u0259k tor ba\u011flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

H\u0259qiq\u0259t dil\u0259 g\u0259ldi.
\nDild\u0259 ili\u015fdi, qald\u0131.
\nH\u0259qiq\u0259tin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 yalanlar k\u00f6lg\u0259 sald\u0131.
\nVuru\u015fmad\u0131q, ban\u015fd\u0131q
\nBiz “azadl\u0131q” adlanan bir uydurma na\u011f\u0131lla.
\n\u00d6l\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 q\u0259lbimiz yas saxlad\u0131.<\/p>\n

H\u0259qiq\u0259ti dem\u0259kd\u0259n el\u0259 qorxduq…
\nA\u011f\u0131lla
\nH\u0259qiq\u0259t aras\u0131nda h\u00f6r\u00fcm\u00e7\u0259k tor ba\u011flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Oktyabr, 1968<\/p>\n

QORXU<\/p>\n

M\u0259n qorxuram, s\u0259n qorxursan,
\nO da qorxur, bu da qorxur,
\nBiz qorxuruq.
\nT\u0259z\u0259 fikir beynimiz\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n kimi
\ntez qorxuruq.
\nBa\u015fqas\u0131ndan qorxdu\u011fumuz b\u0259s deyilmi\u015f
\n\u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fczd\u0259n biz qorxuruq!
\nQorxu, qorxu!
\nBir qurd olub yeyir bizi i\u00e7imizd\u0259n,
\nN\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259yir V\u0259t\u0259n bizd\u0259n?
\n\u0130rad\u0259 yox,
\nki\u015filik yox.
\nBiz qorxuruq,
\nbiz susuruq.
\nFikir \u00f6l\u00fcr,
\ncan sustal\u0131r,
\n\u00fcr\u0259k donub,
\nruh bo\u011fulur.
\nQorxu bizim dilimizd\u0259 kilid olur,
\nBeynimizd\u0259 q\u0131f\u0131l olur.
\nD\u0259rd budur ki, bu d\u0259rdi d\u0259,
\nBiz qan\u0131r\u0131q, biz bilirik.
\nQorxa-qorxa
\n\u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fcz d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00e7\u00fcn
\nBiz qorxuya \u00e7evrilirik.<\/p>\n

\u0130yul, 1972<\/p>\n

BEL\u018f QALMAZ<\/p>\n

Sabir demi\u015f, “Biz \u0259rl\u0259rik”,
\n\u0130\u015f yerin\u0259
\n“\u00d6zg\u0259sinin s\u00f6zl\u0259rini
\n\u0259zb\u0259rl\u0259rik”.
\nToz-torpa\u011f\u0131 yel sovurar,
\nD\u0259n\u0259si d\u0259 yel\u0259 qalmaz…
\nVallah, billah, bel\u0259 qalmaz,
\nbel\u0259 qalmaz!
\nBu inamla ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fam,
\nBizim kimi z\u0259vz\u0259kl\u0259rin<\/p>\n

\u0130gidliyi d\u00f6z\u00fcm olsun,
\n“Heyv\u0259r\u0259lik, bo\u015fbo\u011fazl\u0131q”
\nbizim olsun.
\nG\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yin \u00f6vladlar\u0131 i\u015f g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259k.
\nHam\u0131 dua \u0259v\u0259zin\u0259 “l\u0259n\u0259t” deyib,
\nQ\u0259brimiz\u0259 t\u00fcp\u00fcr\u0259c\u0259k.
\nDey\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r, ey babalar,
\nYa\u015f yetirib kal oldunuz,
\nG\u00f6r\u0259-g\u00f6r\u0259 kor oldunuz,
\nDin\u0259-din\u0259 lal oldunuz.
\nS\u0259briniz\u0259 heyr\u0259td\u0259yik,
\nSiz d\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259 fil oldunuz.
\nEy n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259r, n\u0259tic\u0259l\u0259r,<\/p>\n

Biz he\u00e7 n\u0259yik, biz he\u00e7 n\u0259yik…
\nGec\u0259-g\u00fcnd\u00fcz babam\u0131zm
\n\u0259m\u0259lin\u0259 heyr\u0259td\u0259yik.
\nHeyr\u0259t edin sizs\u0259 bizim
\ns\u0259brimiz\u0259…
\n“L\u0259n\u0259t” deyib, siz t\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcn q\u0259brimiz\u0259…<\/p>\n

Haqq\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 biz qanmad\u0131q.
\nBiz bu g\u00fcn\u00fc yola verib
\nG\u0259l\u0259c\u0259y\u0259 inanmad\u0131q!
\nKe\u00e7irdik \u00f6z \u0259limizl\u0259
\nBoynumuzu biz xaltaya,
\nSap olmad\u0131q bir baltaya.
\nAc olsaq da, “toxuq” – dedik.
\nBiz ucadan “b\u0259li” dey\u0259 \u00e7ox ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131q,
\nQ\u0259lbimizd\u0259 “yox-yox!” – dedik.
\nToz-torpa\u011f\u0131 yel sovurar,
\nD\u0259n\u0259si d\u0259 yel\u0259 qalmaz.
\nVallah, billah, bel\u0259 qalmaz,
\nBel\u0259 qalmaz!<\/p>\n

1974<\/p>\n

D\u0130Z \u00dcST\u018f<\/p>\n

O, \u00e7ox \u0259z\u0259m\u0259tli, \u00e7ox q\u00fcvv\u0259tlidir
\nB\u00f6y\u00fckd\u00fcr,
\nN\u0259h\u0259ngdir v\u0259 q\u00fcdr\u0259tlidir.
\nBunu \u00e7ox e\u015fitdik, \u00e7ox dedik d\u00fcz\u00fc.
\n\u00c7ox deyib, al\u00e7altd\u0131q \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc.
\nOnun b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u00fcy\u00fc ayd\u0131nd\u0131r biz\u0259.<\/p>\n

Bir baxaq,
\nBir g\u00f6r\u0259k,
\nbil\u0259k, biz n\u0259yik?
\nO, b\u00f6y\u00fck g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr g\u00f6zl\u0259rimiz\u0259
\nN\u0259d\u0259n ki, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz diz \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259yik.<\/p>\n

Ki\u00e7ildik, biz ona b\u00f6y\u00fck dedikc\u0259
\nYet\u0259r bu s\u0259cd\u0259l\u0259r, bu diz \u00e7\u00f6km\u0259l\u0259r.
\nBiz onun \u00f6n\u00fcnd\u0259 im\u0259kl\u0259dikc\u0259
\n\u018fzdi ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 nall\u0131 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259l\u0259r.<\/p>\n

Duraq ayaq \u00fcst\u0259!
\nAx\u0131, \u0259rik biz.
\nQalxsaq, o ki\u00e7il\u0259r, b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259rik biz.<\/p>\n

Avqust, 1976, \u015e\u0259ki<\/p>\n

M\u00dcSAVAT<\/p>\n

Z\u00fclm\u0259tl\u0259 sava\u015flarda z\u0259f\u0259r \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnd\u0259n,
\nQ\u0259lbl\u0259rd\u0259 azadl\u0131q odu yand\u0131rd\u0131 M\u00fcsavat.
\nUlduz v\u0259 hilal eyl\u0259 ki, \u00fc\u00e7 r\u0259ng\u0259 qovu\u015fdu,
\nBoz qurdu k\u00f6n\u00fcll\u0259rd\u0259 oyand\u0131rd\u0131 M\u00fcsavat.<\/p>\n

Meydan oxudu qan \u00e7il\u0259y\u0259n d\u00f6vrana qar\u015f\u0131,
\nH\u0259r zalim\u0259, h\u0259r nadana, h\u0259r h\u0259dyana qar\u015f\u0131,
\nT\u00fc\u011fyan el\u0259di eyl\u0259ki z\u00fclm insana qar\u015f\u0131,
\n\u00d6z h\u0259ddini zaliml\u0259r\u0259 qand\u0131rd\u0131 M\u00fcsavat.<\/p>\n

\u0130lham\u0131n\u0131 alm\u0131\u015f o, V\u0259t\u0259n adl\u0131 g\u00f6z\u0259ld\u0259n,
\n\u0130man suyunu, \u00e7\u00fcnki, o i\u00e7mi\u015fdi d\u00fcz \u0259ld\u0259n.
\nXalq namin\u0259 haqq adl\u0131 vuru\u015flarda \u0259z\u0259ld\u0259n
\n\u00d6n c\u0259rg\u0259d\u0259 h\u0259r tilsimi s\u0131nd\u0131rd\u0131 M\u00fcsavat.<\/p>\n

\u00d6nd\u0259r dedi: – \u0130stiqbal \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn da\u011f a\u015fal\u0131m biz,
\n\u0130stiqlala, istiqbala daim qo\u015fal\u0131m biz,
\nBir t\u00fcrk kimi islamla\u015fa, \u00e7a\u011fda\u015fla\u015fal\u0131m biz
\nAmal\u0131na bir xalq\u0131 inand\u0131rd\u0131 M\u00fcsavat.<\/p>\n

Amal\u0131 t\u0259miz, m\u0259qs\u0259di aydm, \u00fcz\u00fc a\u011fd\u0131r,
\n\u018fn ali m\u0259ram\u0131nda q\u0259r\u0259zl\u0259rd\u0259n uzaqd\u0131r.
\nTarix \u015f\u00fcuru – xalq\u0131m\u0131 mill\u0259t yapacaqd\u0131r
\nHaqdan d\u00f6n\u0259ni haqqa tap\u0131nd\u0131rd\u0131 M\u00fcsavat.<\/p>\n

D\u00fczl\u00fck \u015fuar\u0131 daima \u00e7arp\u0131\u015fd\u0131 yalanla,
\nTorpaqdan al\u0131b q\u00fcdr\u0259ti, k\u00f6kl\u0259ndi zamanla.
\nC\u0259nn\u0259t ed\u0259c\u0259k amala d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f bir imanla
\n\u00dcnvan\u0131 Az\u0259rbaycan olan yurdu M\u00fcsavat.<\/p>\n

Fevral, 1977<\/p>\n

S\u018fBR EL\u018fD\u0130K<\/p>\n

A\u00e7an g\u00fcnd\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc
\n\u00dcmidl\u0259rin laylas\u0131nda
\nXumar g\u00f6rd\u00fck \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc.
\nArzumuzu verm\u0259dil\u0259r,
\nBiz\u0259 ancaq d\u00f6z, dedil\u0259r.
\nEl\u0259 bildik, d\u00fcz dedil\u0259r.
\nH\u0259r gec\u0259nin g\u00fcnd\u00fcz\u00fc var,
\nG\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k g\u00fcnd\u00fcz, dedil\u0259r.
\nBiz g\u00f6zl\u0259dik.
\nQ\u0259lbimizd\u0259 ba\u015f qald\u0131ran
\n\u00fcmidl\u0259ri \u0259zizl\u0259dik.
\nHey izl\u0259dik,
\nUca-uca k\u00fcrs\u00fcl\u0259rd\u0259n
\nV\u0259z olunan nitql\u0259ri.
\nH\u0259yatda yox,
\nq\u0259zetl\u0259rd\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rdil\u0259r
\nbiz\u0259 yaln\u0131z xeyri-\u015f\u0259ri.
\n\u015eirin-\u015f\u0259k\u0259r yalanlar\u0131 yey\u0259-yey\u0259
\nBiz inand\u0131q g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259y\u0259.
\nO g\u0259lm\u0259di,
\nD\u00fcz \u0259yildi,
\n\u018fyrilikl\u0259r d\u00fcz\u0259lm\u0259di.
\nArzumuzun \u0259v\u0259zin\u0259
\nBiz\u0259 yen\u0259 s\u00f6z verdil\u0259r.
\nH\u0259qiq\u0259ti g\u00f6rm\u0259m\u0259k\u00e7\u00fcn
\nD\u0259yi\u015fdirib g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc
\nBiz\u0259 ba\u015fqa g\u00f6z verdiler.
\nBax\u0131b saxta g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fczl\u0259
\nHamar g\u00f6rd\u00fck \u00e7uxuru biz.
\nSaray bildik axuru biz.
\nG\u00f6r\u0259mm\u0259dik qat ba\u011flayan pax\u0131r\u0131 biz.
\nBu pax\u0131r\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259nl\u0259ri,
\nXalq yolunda candan ke\u00e7\u0259n \u0259r\u0259nl\u0259ri
\n“Xalq d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259ni” dam\u011fas\u0131yla
\nL\u0259k\u0259l\u0259yib m\u0259hv etdil\u0259r.
\nHaqq ad\u0131na haqq\u0131 y\u0131x\u0131b s\u00fcr\u00fctd\u00fcl\u0259r.
\nBozu a\u011fdan se\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259ri
\nzindanlarda \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fctd\u00fcl\u0259r.
\nSusub d\u00f6zd\u00fck, d\u00f6z, dedil\u0259r.<\/p>\n

S\u00f6zd\u0259n boluq
\nS\u00f6z i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00fcz, dedil\u0259r.
\nS\u00f6z i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00fcz\u0259-\u00fcz\u0259
\nS\u0259brimizd\u0259n b\u0259z\u0259k vurduq \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259.
\nH\u0259r c\u0259faya d\u00f6z\u0259-d\u00f6z\u0259
\nBiz al\u00e7ald\u0131q add\u0131mba\u015f\u0131.
\nQul etdil\u0259r v\u0259t\u0259nind\u0259 v\u0259t\u0259nda\u015f\u0131,
\nAyaq altda palaz oldu l\u0259yaq\u0259ti.
\nBiz ucal\u0131q z\u0259nn el\u0259dik r\u0259zal\u0259ti.
\nS\u0259br el\u0259dik.
\nQara g\u00fcn\u00fc a\u011f s\u00f6z il\u0259 p\u0259rd\u0259l\u0259dik.
\nZ\u0259nn etm\u0259yin,
\nb\u0259db\u0259xtliyi \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259 d\u0259rd el\u0259dik.
\n“Biz xo\u015fb\u0259xtik, b\u0259xt\u0259v\u0259rik” – s\u00f6zl\u0259rini
\n\u015e\u00fcar kimi dilimizd\u0259 vird el\u0259dik.
\nQ\u0131r\u0131b qal\u0131n me\u015f\u0259l\u0259ri
\nPamb\u0131q \u0259kdik.
\nQan\u0131m\u0131zdan g\u00fclab \u00e7\u0259kdik.
\nY\u00fcz hektar\u0131n m\u0259hsulunu on hektara,
\nOn n\u0259f\u0259rin m\u0259hsulunu bir n\u0259f\u0259r\u0259
\nyaza-yaza,
\nH\u0259m insan\u0131, h\u0259m torpa\u011f\u0131
\nNec\u0259 verdik biz g\u00fcdaza.
\nMeydan verdik a\u011f yalana,
\nH\u0259qiq\u0259t d\u0259 tapdalana-tapdalana
\n\u00c7\u0259kildi da\u011flar dalma,
\nB\u0259lk\u0259… orda daldalana.
\nS\u0259br el\u0259dik,
\n\u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259 c\u0259br el\u0259dik.
\nOrden, medal yar\u0131\u015f\u0131nda
\nDumanlad\u0131b beyinl\u0259ri
\nDDT-yl\u0259 z\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259dik
\nY\u00fcz-y\u00fczl\u0259ri, min-minl\u0259ri.
\nBirc\u0259 \u00e7\u0259ng\u0259 a\u011f pamb\u0131\u011fa
\nQurban verdik g\u0259nc q\u0131zlan, g\u0259linl\u0259ri.
\nBu d\u00fcnyaya g\u00f6z a\u00e7mam\u0131\u015f k\u00f6rp\u0259l\u0259ri
\nB\u0259tnd\u0259c\u0259 z\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259dik.
\nYa\u015famad\u0131q, ba\u015f girl\u0259dik
\nYalan-yalan v\u0259dl\u0259ri yey\u0259-yey\u0259,
\n\u00dcmid il\u0259 qarn\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 doyuzdurub,
\nBiz inamla yen\u0259 baxd\u0131q g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259y\u0259.
\nG\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r g\u0259lib ke\u00e7di,
\n\u00dcmidimiz do\u011frulmad\u0131.
\n\u015eirin-\u015f\u0259k\u0259r yuxular da \u00e7in olmad\u0131.
\nAmma yen\u0259 s\u0259br el\u0259dik.
\nQ\u0259lbimizi arzulara q\u0259br el\u0259dik.
\nSusma\u011f\u0131 da qeyr\u0259t sand\u0131 qeyr\u0259timiz.
\nS\u0259brimizin laylas\u0131nda<\/p>\n

xumarland\u0131 qeyr\u0259timiz.
\nBu d\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259,
\nBu z\u00fcl\u00fcm\u0259
\nHeyr\u0259td\u0259dir heyr\u0259timiz!<\/p>\n

Sentyabr, 1979<\/p>\n

LAL \u2013 KAR<\/p>\n

Dil a\u00e7mada lall\u0131q da ged\u0259r, karl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z da.
\n\u00c7\u00fcn lall\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z do\u011fmu\u015f idi karl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan.
\n\u015e\u0259hriyar
\nH\u0259m lal olduq, h\u0259m d\u0259
\nkar Lall\u0131q karl\u0131qdan do\u011far.
\nNiy\u0259 lal olduq, g\u00f6r\u0259n?
\nBunu bilirs\u0259nmi s\u0259n?
\nBunu bil\u0259k biz \u0259vv\u0259l,
\n\u00d6t\u0259nl\u0259r\u0259 ba\u015f vuraq
\nBunun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn indi g\u0259l.
\nZaman-zaman \u0259zildik
\nM\u0259hkum oldu\u011fumuzu
\nN\u0259 anlad\u0131q, n\u0259 bildik.
\nBunun\u00e7\u00fcn da soydular
\nD\u0259rimizi qatbaqat.
\nHaqq\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 kims\u0259d\u0259n ist\u0259m\u0259dik, ey ustad.
\n\u00c7\u00fcnki onu qanmad\u0131q.
\nBu miskin hal\u0131m\u0131zdan
\nQ\u0131zar\u0131b utanmad\u0131q.
\nB\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fcnya oyand\u0131,
\nBiz h\u0259l\u0259 oyanmad\u0131q.
\nSusduq, h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 d\u00f6zd\u00fck.
\n\u0130\u00e7imizd\u0259n oyulduq.
\nKarl\u0131qdan lal olmad\u0131q,
\nSusduq-dey\u0259 lal olduq.
\nSabirimiz demi\u015fk\u0259n:
\n“Bir \u0259cayib \u015feyik biz”.
\nT\u0259rs g\u0259lib h\u0259r i\u015fimiz.
\nBizim \u00e7aqqal\u0131m\u0131z da
\nG\u0259lir \u00f6z da\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan.
\nBizim karl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z da,
\nBizim lall\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z da
\nDo\u011fub susma\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan.<\/p>\n

\u0130yul, 1979, \u015e\u0259ki<\/p>\n

BA\u015eQASININ YASINDA<\/p>\n

D\u0259rindir, qorxuludur sakit axan lal sular.
\nBir k\u0259lm\u0259nin i\u00e7ind\u0259 b\u0259z\u0259n ne\u00e7\u0259 s\u00f6z yat\u0131r.
\nAdi g\u00f6zl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259z orda yatan duy\u011fular,
\n\u00c7\u00f6z\u0259l\u0259s\u0259n, g\u00f6r\u0259rs\u0259n k\u00fcl alt\u0131nda k\u00f6z yat\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7imi g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259dim cahil tutan g\u00fczg\u00fcy\u0259,
\n\u00dczd\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcb, i\u00e7imd\u0259 m\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcl\u00fcm\u0259 a\u011flad\u0131m.
\nMill\u0259timin d\u0259rdini \u00fcnvanlay\u0131b \u00d6zg\u0259y\u0259,
\nBa\u015fqas\u0131nm yasmda \u00f6z \u00f6l\u00fcm\u0259 a\u011flad\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Dekabr, 1981<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

M\u00dc\u018fLL\u0130FD\u018fN Sovetl\u0259r \u0130ttifaq\u0131 da\u011f\u0131landan sonra arxivimi ara\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131m, g\u0259nclik ill\u0259rind\u0259n yazma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcnd\u0259likl\u0259rimi, \u00e7ap olunmam\u0131\u015f \u015feirl\u0259rimi varaqlad\u0131m, ke\u00e7diyim yollar\u0131 d\u0259ft\u0259r s\u0259hif\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 yenid\u0259n ke\u00e7ib h\u0259m f\u0259r\u0259hl\u0259ndim, h\u0259m d\u0259 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcfl\u0259ndim. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 f\u0259r\u0259hl\u0259ndim ki, g\u0259nclik ill\u0259rimd\u0259 d\u0259 h\u0259qiq\u0259ti g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f, a\u011f\u0131 qaradan se\u00e7\u0259 bilmi\u015f, duy\u011fular\u0131m\u0131, fikirl\u0259rimi q\u0259lbimd\u0259 gizl\u0259tm\u0259mi\u015f, m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n q\u0259d\u0259r yaz\u0131ya k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcr\u0259 bilmi\u015f\u0259m. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcfl\u0259ndim ki, \u00f6m\u00fcr yollar\u0131nda […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27661","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27661"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27661\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27666,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27661\/revisions\/27666"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}