{"id":29250,"date":"2018-11-23T06:00:19","date_gmt":"2018-11-23T02:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=29250"},"modified":"2018-11-23T09:53:35","modified_gmt":"2018-11-23T05:53:35","slug":"s%c9%99faq%c9%99t-cavansirzad%c9%99-h%c9%99yat-d%c9%99rsi-hekay%c9%99","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=29250","title":{"rendered":"\u015e\u0259faq\u0259t CAVAN\u015e\u0130RZAD\u018f.”H\u0259yat d\u0259rsi” (Hekay\u0259)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Az\u0259rbaycan Yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131lar Birliyinin (AYB) v\u0259 D\u00fcnya G\u0259nc T\u00fcrk Yazarlar Birliyinin (DGTYB) \u00fczv\u00fc<\/strong><\/p>\n

Polis akademiyas\u0131nda oxuyan t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 qohumum \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc h\u0259ddind\u0259n art\u0131q g\u00f6z\u0259l q\u0131zlar\u0131n c\u0259ngav\u0259ri kimi hiss edir. G\u00f6z\u0259l olmayan, \u0259tli-qanl\u0131 q\u0131zlara qar\u015f\u0131 da bigan\u0259 qala bilmirdi. D\u00fcz\u00fc, g\u00f6z\u0259l q\u0131z g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 m\u0259n d\u0259 bax\u0131ram, o q\u0131z kimi g\u00f6z\u0259l olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 pax\u0131ll\u0131q hissi d\u0259 ke\u00e7irmi\u015f\u0259m. N\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259, qohumumun b\u0259y\u0259nib-se\u00e7diyi g\u00f6z\u0259l\u00e7\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 he\u00e7 c\u00fcr qan\u0131m qaynam\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 o q\u0131zlar t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n aldanmaq, dey\u0259s\u0259n, qohumumun taleyin\u0259 yaz\u0131lm\u015fd\u0131. \u201c H\u0259yatda h\u0259r \u015fey qism\u0259tdir\u201d deyirl\u0259r. Qohumum yen\u0259 bir g\u00fcn biz\u0259 g\u0259ldi. Ax\u015fam s\u00fcfr\u0259sind\u0259 onun enli k\u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259, yara\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131na, balaca burnuna, vaxt\u0131ndan tez a\u011farm\u0131\u015f sa\u00e7lar\u0131na ov\u00e7u \u015fikar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00fcd\u0259n kimi baxa-baxa yem\u0259yiml\u0259 oynay\u0131rd\u0131m. Evd\u0259kil\u0259r n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131, fikir vermirdim, ancaq onun haqq\u0131nda fikirl\u0259\u015firdim. Kurs yolda\u015f\u0131 G\u00fclcan\u0131n ona x\u0259yan\u0259tini he\u00e7 c\u00fcr ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilmirdim. G\u00fclcandan sonra qohumum q\u0131zlara qar\u015f\u0131 laqeyd qala bilm\u0259diyi q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 inams\u0131z idi. Yax\u015f\u0131 bilirdim, onun q\u0131sqancl\u0131\u011f\u0131 sevgid\u0259n yox, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 inams\u0131zl\u0131qdan olurdu. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr oldu.
\nAvtobusa min\u0259nd\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fc qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259 oturmu\u015f q\u0131za sata\u015f\u0131b. Q\u0131z qohumumla, qohumum q\u0131zla bax\u0131\u015fa-bax\u0131\u015fa bir-birinin \u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259 yol tap\u0131blar. Avtobusdan d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 qohumum q\u0131za yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131r, aralar\u0131nda n\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t olub t\u0259f\u0259rr\u00fcat\u0131yla yaza bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m. Onu bilir\u0259m ki, n\u00f6mr\u0259sini q\u0131za verm\u0259k bir g\u00f6z q\u0131rp\u0131m\u0131nda olub. Q\u0131zla bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qdan sonra \u015f\u0259klini m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rdi . El\u0259 bilin Ara\u015fla duet oxuyan Ayselin bir balaca sar\u0131\u015f\u0131n variant\u0131yd\u0131. G\u00f6z\u0259lliyin\u0259 s\u00f6z ola bilm\u0259z. El\u0259 bilin ki, yaradan o g\u00f6z\u0259l \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn x\u00fcsusi bir zaman ay\u0131r\u0131b, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259l\u0259k geyiml\u0259ri var, ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 bu q\u0131za ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131b.
\n\u2500Qadas\u0131, dey\u0259s\u0259n, bu d\u0259f\u0259 tale \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcb, ax\u0131. Allah xo\u015fb\u0259xt el\u0259sin!, -deyib a\u011fbir\u00e7\u0259k n\u0259n\u0259l\u0259r kimi dual\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131m.
\nDodaqalt\u0131 g\u00fcld\u00fc, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yell\u0259di:
\n\u2500\u015e\u0259fi, q\u0131z x\u0259st\u0259dir, \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u0259 az qal\u0131b.
\n\u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc m\u0259nim yerimd\u0259 t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr el\u0259diniz? \u00c7ox pis oldum. Bir az da t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndim. El\u0259 bil g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn qaba\u011f\u0131nda yeddinci sinifi t\u0259z\u0259 bitirmi\u015f, yerd\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fca\u00e7\u0131q uzanm\u0131\u015f, insanlar\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na y\u0131\u011fan o\u011flan\u0131n meyidini g\u00f6r\u0259n m\u0259n olmam\u0131\u015fam. \u00dcst\u00fcnd\u0259n ill\u0259r ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. Tez-tez xat\u0131rlaya bilm\u0259zdim. Yen\u0259 d\u0259 kamaz\u0131n vurdu\u011fu o o\u011flan\u0131 uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t gec\u0259l\u0259r unuda bilm\u0259mi\u015fdim. O gec\u0259 yen\u0259 o o\u011flan\u0131 xat\u0131rlad\u0131m…
\n\u2500Niy\u0259?
\n\u2500X\u0259r\u00e7\u0259ngdir… Ba\u015f\u0131ndan… Ail\u0259siyl\u0259 Moskvaya getm\u0259lidir. Medinstitutda oxuyur, d\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fc kursda. H\u0259r gec\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131q. Tez sa\u011folla\u015fanda x\u0259trin\u0259 d\u0259yir. Akademiyada da \u00e7ox dan\u0131\u015fmaq olmur. Alt\u0131-bazar dan\u0131\u015fa bil\u0259r\u0259m, deyir\u0259m, el\u0259 bilir ba\u015f\u0131mdan edir\u0259m, \u2013 hiss edirdim, qohumum \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 b\u0259xtin\u0259 s\u00f6y\u00fcrd\u00fc, – S\u0259nd\u0259n ona dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fam. N\u00f6mr\u0259sini verim, s\u0259n d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f. M\u0259n olmayanda, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qatarsan.
\n\u2500N\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131m? \u2013 soru\u015fdum.
\n\u2500N\u0259 bilim… Dan\u0131\u015fanda s\u00f6z-s\u00f6z\u00fc \u00e7\u0259kir d\u0259… \u2013 deyib \u00f6z telefonundan q\u0131z\u0131 y\u0131\u011fd\u0131. Hal-\u0259hval tutandan sonra telefonu m\u0259n\u0259 verdi.
\n\u0130lk iki d\u0259qiq\u0259d\u0259n sonra q\u0131zla d\u00fcz bir saat dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. G\u00f6z d\u0259ym\u0259sin, s\u00f6z\u00fc s\u00f6z\u0259 calay\u0131b, uzun-uzad\u0131 dan\u0131\u015fmaq u\u015faql\u0131qdan qalan xasiyy\u0259timdi. Sonrak\u0131 g\u00fcnl\u0259r \u00f6z n\u00f6mr\u0259ml\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131m q\u0131zla. \u00dcst\u0259lik bac\u0131m da dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Anam telefonla dan\u0131\u015fmasa da salam g\u00f6nd\u0259r\u0259nd\u0259 e\u015fidirdi. Q\u0131za t\u0259s\u0259lli verirdim. \u0130nsanlara qar\u015f\u0131 h\u0259ssas olsam da, h\u0259yata qar\u015f\u0131 soyuq v\u0259 bigan\u0259 oldu\u011fumu m\u0259ni tan\u0131yanlar m\u0259nd\u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 bilirdi. Daha do\u011frusu, m\u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fckc\u0259 tan\u0131d\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

Rusiyaya ged\u0259nd\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0131z m\u0259n\u0259 z\u0259ng edirdi, amma gizli y\u0131\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Konturun qurtarar deyirdim, n\u00f6mr\u0259ni yaz, mesajla\u015faq. Dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b qurtarandan sonra da h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 a\u011flayard\u0131m. Bir-iki g\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra cin n\u00f6mr\u0259sind\u0259n z\u0259ng vurdu. S\u0259sini e\u015fidib t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndim.
\n\u2500N\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 g\u0259lmis\u0259n? Sa\u011fald\u0131n? \u2013soru\u015fdum.
\nO vaxtlar x\u0259r\u00e7\u0259ng x\u0259st\u0259liyi haqq\u0131nda geni\u015f m\u0259lumat\u0131m yoxuydu. Vay-vay, yad\u0131ma indi d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 t\u00fcst\u00fc t\u0259p\u0259md\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r.
\n\u2500Yox, T\u00fcrkiy\u0259d\u0259y\u0259m. Moskvadan m\u0259ni T\u00fcrkiy\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259rdil\u0259r. \u018fm\u0259liyyat burda olacaq. \u2013 dedi.
\nQohumumla evl\u0259nm\u0259kd\u0259n s\u00f6z salanda:
\n\u2500Q\u0131z, \u0259sas s\u0259n sa\u011fal. \u0130n\u015fallah ail\u0259 d\u0259 qurars\u0131z, -dedim v\u0259 \u0259lav\u0259 etdim, \u2013h\u0259l\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt g\u00fcnl\u0259riniz qabaqdad\u0131r. H\u0259m d\u0259 ki bizim o\u011flan oxuyur. O, i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259si, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 \u015falvar alas\u0131… \u00e7ox var.
\nQ\u0131sas\u0131, q\u0131z\u0131 g\u00fcld\u00fcrm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ayr\u0131 vaxt\u0131 m\u0259nd\u0259n soru\u015fanda dan\u0131\u015fa bilm\u0259diyim l\u0259tif\u0259l\u0259ri hardan tap\u0131b dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m, \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 bilm\u0259dim, amma dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. G\u00fcld\u00fcrm\u0259yi d\u0259 bacar\u0131rd\u0131m. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc t\u0259rifl\u0259m\u0259k kimi \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131n, d\u0259rdli adam\u0131 g\u00fcld\u00fcr\u00fcb d\u0259rdsiz kimi hiss el\u0259tdirm\u0259k, \u0259z\u0259ld\u0259n can\u0131mda var.
\nQ\u0131za g\u00f6r\u0259 cin n\u00f6mr\u0259 almal\u0131 oldum. H\u0259r g\u00fcn m\u0259niml\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Qohumumla is\u0259 gec\u0259l\u0259r dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t \u0259snas\u0131nda dedi:
\n\u2500Moskvada \u0259m\u0259liyyat olanda, bac\u0131m deyir, qohumunun ad\u0131n\u0131 sayaqlam\u0131\u015fam. Atam da \u0259s\u0259bl\u0259\u015fib bac\u0131mdan soru\u015fub ki, bu o\u011flan kimdir ki, bu q\u0131z onun ad\u0131n\u0131 sayaqlay\u0131r. Bac\u0131m susub, he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259yib… Qism\u0259t…Sa\u011fal\u0131m, evl\u0259n\u0259rik…
\nDala\u011f\u0131m sancd\u0131. Ert\u0259si g\u00fcn qohumumla s\u00f6hb\u0259t ed\u0259nd\u0259 dedi ki, bu q\u0131z bu hayda da ancaq el\u0259 evl\u0259nm\u0259kd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r.
\nDal\u011f\u0131n halda dedim:
\n\u2500Fikir verm\u0259… Evlilikl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131, \u00e7al\u0131\u015f, he\u00e7 n\u0259y\u0259 \u00fcmidl\u0259ndirm\u0259. Sa\u011fals\u0131n…B\u0259lk\u0259 he\u00e7 xasiyy\u0259tiniz tutmad\u0131…
\nQ\u0131z\u0131n dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, Tibb universitetinin d\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fc kursunda oxuyurdu. Anas\u0131 is\u0259 Sema\u015fkoda ginekoloq \u015f\u00f6b\u0259sind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yir. Qohumum m\u0259n\u0259 bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t zaman\u0131 anas\u0131n\u0131n, atas\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 da, h\u0259tta soyad\u0131n\u0131 da s\u00f6yl\u0259mi\u015fdi.
\nAx\u015fam q\u0131z yen\u0259 z\u0259ng el\u0259di m\u0259n\u0259. Evl\u0259nib-evl\u0259nm\u0259m\u0259kl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 qohumumun fikrini soru\u015fanda:
\n\u2500Qadas\u0131, s\u0259n ax\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259 m\u00fcalic\u0259 al\u0131rsan. \u00dcst\u0259lik d\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259s\u0259n. O\u011flan\u0131n da imkan\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259lik yoxdu evl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259. S\u0259n sa\u011falas\u0131, o\u011flan i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259si, hardasa, 4-5 il laz\u0131md\u0131r… Yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131r da, ne\u00e7\u0259 illik sevgi tarix\u00e7\u0259niz olacaq. Sonra oturub u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131za dan\u0131\u015fars\u0131z, \u2013 demi\u015fdim ki,q\u0131z qay\u0131dasan:
\n\u2500N\u0259 olsun, ni\u015fanl\u0131 qalar\u0131q, -dedi.
\n\u2500Allah qoysa. N\u0259 xeyirlidirs\u0259, o olsun, -dem\u0259kd\u0259n ba\u015fqa s\u00f6z tapmad\u0131m.
\nSa\u011folla\u015fark\u0259n:
\n\u2500Sabah saat s\u0259kkizd\u0259 \u0259m\u0259liyyat olmal\u0131yam… H\u0259kiml\u0259r deyir ki, \u0259m\u0259liyyatdan sa\u011f \u00e7\u0131xmaya da bil\u0259r\u0259m, \u2013 deyib susdu.
\n\u2500Bac\u0131n qohumumun n\u00f6mr\u0259sini bilir? \u2013soru\u015fdum.
\n\u2500H\u0259.
\n\u2500M\u0259nim d\u0259 n\u00f6mr\u0259mi ver bac\u0131na. Ya da bac\u0131n\u0131n n\u00f6mr\u0259sini ver, m\u0259n \u0259laq\u0259 saxlay\u0131m, \u2013dedim.
\n\u2500Telefonumun zaryatkas\u0131 qurtar\u0131r, bir azdan yazaram, -deyib d\u0259st\u0259yi asd\u0131.
\nNarahat qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Bir saatdan sonra z\u0259ng el\u0259dim. Telefonuna z\u0259ng \u00e7atmad\u0131qda narahat\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m daha da artd\u0131.
\nS\u0259h\u0259r saat be\u015fd\u0259 yatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Ba\u015fqa vaxt oyana bilmirdim yuxudan, amma o g\u00fcn, nec\u0259 oldusa, d\u00fcz saat s\u0259kkizin yar\u0131s\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7d\u0131m. Telefona cumdum, q\u0131za z\u0259ng el\u0259dim. Yen\u0259 z\u0259ng \u00e7atmad\u0131. Qohumum da, m\u0259n d\u0259 bir h\u0259ft\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259dik, x\u0259b\u0259r \u00e7\u0131xmad\u0131. Mesaj da yoxuydu. Z\u0259ng d\u0259 g\u0259lmirdi.
\nQohumum q\u0131z\u0131n ev n\u00f6mr\u0259sini d\u0259, mobil n\u00f6mr\u0259sini d\u0259 polis dostuna verdi. Sa\u011f olsun, m\u0259lum oldu ki, n\u00f6mr\u0259 G\u0259nc\u0259d\u0259n olan bir ki\u015finin ad\u0131nad\u0131r. Ev telefonundan \u00fcnvan\u0131 \u00f6yr\u0259ndik. Qohumumun imtahan\u0131 oldu\u011fundan \u00fcnvan\u0131 d\u0259ft\u0259rimin arxa t\u0259r\u0259fin\u0259 yazd\u0131m. S\u0259h\u0259r doqquzda \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m evd\u0259n. Q\u0131z\u0131n z\u0259ng el\u0259diyi ev telefonundan Elml\u0259rd\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilirdim. \u0130lk yalan\u0131n\u0131 burda \u00f6yr\u0259ndim\u2026
\nBiz ba\u015fqa \u00fcnvan bilirdik. El\u0259m\u0259dim t\u0259nb\u0259llik birinci k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259ni, sonra binan\u0131 soru\u015fa-soru\u015fa ax\u0131rda t\u0259ngn\u0259f\u0259s qap\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131na \u00e7atd\u0131m. Qap\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6yd\u00fcm, gec a\u00e7d\u0131lar. Qur\u015faqdan yuxar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131lpaq bir ki\u015fi qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7m\u0131\u015fd\u0131. T\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr el\u0259m\u0259rsiz, utand\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan bilm\u0259dim n\u0259 edim.
\nKi\u015fi qa\u015fqabaql\u0131yd\u0131. Bel\u0259 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm ki, yuxusundan oyatm\u0131\u015fam.
\n\u2500N\u0259 laz\u0131md\u0131r? \u2013soru\u015fdu.
\n\u2500Salam, day\u0131. Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, bu vaxt narahat etdim. Evd\u0259 xan\u0131m var?
\nKi\u015fi m\u0259n\u0259 nec\u0259 baxd\u0131, bilmir\u0259m, m\u0259n ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Qap\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 \u00f6rt\u00fcld\u00fc.
\nQuruyub qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Bilm\u0259dim qay\u0131d\u0131m-gedim, yoxsa t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n qap\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6y\u00fcm. Qap\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6ym\u0259y\u0259 ehtiyyac olmad\u0131.Qap\u0131n\u0131 bu d\u0259f\u0259 xan\u0131m \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 a\u00e7d\u0131
\n\u2500 Salam, xan\u0131m.Vallah, s\u00f6z\u00fc hardan ba\u015flay\u0131m, bilmir\u0259m. M\u0259n sizin q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131zla telefonda dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fam… \u018fslind\u0259, ev telefonuyla t\u0259kc\u0259 qohumumla dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b…
\nXan\u0131m s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u011fz\u0131mda qoydu:
\n\u2500S\u0259hv \u00fcnvana g\u0259lmis\u0259n. Bizim u\u015fa\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yoxdu.
\nM\u0259cbur qal\u0131b ev n\u00f6mr\u0259sini dedim. Dedi:
\n\u2500N\u00f6mr\u0259 bizimdir, amma s\u0259hv g\u0259lmis\u0259n.
\n\u018flav\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 dem\u0259yim\u0259 imkan verm\u0259yib qap\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rpd\u0131. \u0130lk sevgimin u\u011fursuzlu\u011funda bu q\u0259d\u0259r p\u0259rt olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Qap\u0131n\u0131 ikinci d\u0259f\u0259 d\u00f6ym\u0259li oldum.
\nQad\u0131n qap\u0131n\u0131 hirsl\u0259 a\u00e7d\u0131.
\nM\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni ayd\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rmay\u0131nca getm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdim:
\n\u2500Xan\u0131m, onda y\u0259qin qohumlar\u0131n\u0131zdan kims\u0259 siz\u0259 qonaq g\u0259lib, onunla dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fam. Q\u0131z rak idi. Birinci Moskvada, sonra T\u00fcrkiy\u0259d\u0259 \u0259m\u0259liyyat olub.
\nQad\u0131n \u0259s\u0259bl\u0259\u015fdi:
\n\u2500Ay q\u0131z, ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcrs\u0259n, s\u0259hv \u00fcnvana g\u0259lmis\u0259n?
\n\u2500Ax\u0131, indic\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz dediniz ki, n\u00f6mr\u0259 sizin n\u00f6mr\u0259di…
\nQad\u0131n he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259yib qap\u0131n\u0131 ikinci d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rpd\u0131.
\nKor-pe\u015fman k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. Binaya daxil olan cavan o\u011flana yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131m. Ayaq saxlad\u0131.
\n\u2500Qarda\u015f, salam. Burda ya\u015fay\u0131rs\u0131z?
\nO\u011flan salam\u0131m\u0131 al\u0131b, orda ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259sdiql\u0259di. Q\u0131z\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 dedim, tan\u0131mad\u0131. Ata-anas\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 dedim, yen\u0259 tan\u0131mad\u0131. Ax\u0131rda \u0259lacs\u0131z qal\u0131b xahi\u015f el\u0259dim ki, he\u00e7 olmasa, \u201c jekin \u201d yerini m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rsin. Sa\u011f olsun, \u201c jekin \u201c yerini g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k n\u0259dir, h\u0259tta m\u0259ni jek\u0259c\u0259n yola da sald\u0131.
\nB\u0259xtimd\u0259n jekd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n orta ya\u015fl\u0131 ki\u015fi d\u0259 o\u011flan kimi n\u0259zak\u0259tli \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Yalan dan\u0131\u015fmal\u0131 oldum, q\u0131zla telefonda tan\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fumu, x\u0259st\u0259 oldu\u011funu, b\u00fct\u00fcn s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259rimizi yerli-yataql\u0131 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. O \u0259razid\u0259 ya\u015fayan insanlar\u0131n siyah\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 qoydu qar\u015f\u0131ma, m\u0259n dediyim adamlar\u0131n he\u00e7 birinin ad-soyad\u0131na rast g\u0259lm\u0259dim. T\u0259bi\u0259tc\u0259 m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 yaradaca\u011f\u0131ma inanan o q\u0259d\u0259r inadkar insanam ki, g\u0259r\u0259k ki, qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259f d\u0259 bunu g\u00f6rd\u00fc. \u0130kinci d\u0259f\u0259 adlar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n ke\u00e7m\u0259li olduq. Yen\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0259\u015f\u0259ngc\u0259 aldand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u0259rk el\u0259dim. El\u0259 adam da m\u0259n\u0259 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rd\u00fc ki, yayd\u0131, get ev\u0259, aldanm\u0131san. S\u0259ni g\u00fcn vuracaq.
\nSa\u011folla\u015f\u0131b Elml\u0259r\u0259 g\u0259ldim. D\u00f6rd pera\u015fki al\u0131b yedim, \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n d\u0259 bir s\u0259rin ayran i\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259n sonra birba\u015fa Tibb universitetin\u0259 getdim. N\u0259zar\u0259t\u00e7i polis day\u0131ya yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131m. Day\u0131 m\u0259nl\u0259 g\u00fcl\u0259r\u00fczl\u0259 salamla\u015fd\u0131. Day\u0131ya h\u0259r \u015feyi oldu\u011fu kimi dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. \u00dcr\u0259yi yand\u0131 yanma\u011f\u0131na, amma dedi ki, q\u0131z\u0131m, s\u0259ni aparacam dekan\u0131n yan\u0131na. X\u0259st\u0259liy\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 t\u0259hsilini donduran t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259rin siyah\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131\u015facam g\u00f6st\u0259rsin s\u0259n\u0259. Amma sizi o q\u0131z aldad\u0131b.
\nAldanma\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7oxdan bilirdim. Bayaq yazd\u0131m, ax\u0131, m\u0259n m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 inanan insanam. Dekan\u0131n yan\u0131na getdik, v\u0259ziyy\u0259ti ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. X\u0259st\u0259likd\u0259n alt\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259nin t\u0259hsilini dondurdu\u011funu dedi v\u0259 siyah\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rdi. Q\u0131z\u0131n ad\u0131, soyad\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xmad\u0131. Kor-pe\u015fman universitetin h\u0259y\u0259tin\u0259 polis day\u0131yla qay\u0131td\u0131m. Day\u0131 da m\u0259n\u0259 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rd\u00fc ki, q\u0131z\u0131m, istidir. G\u00fcn vuracaq s\u0259ni, get evin\u0259.
\n\u2500Yox , day\u0131, sema\u015fko qald\u0131. Ora da d\u0259yim, sonra ev\u0259 ged\u0259r\u0259m.
\nDay\u0131 g\u00fcld\u00fc:
\n\u2500Allah saxlas\u0131n s\u0259ni. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcrs\u0259n, a bala? O q\u0131z s\u0259n\u0259 yalan dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b.
\n\u2500N\u0259 bilim, day\u0131… Bu q\u0259d\u0259r yalan olar? \u2013 dedim. H\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yimin d\u0259rinlikl\u0259rind\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131n s\u0259mimiyy\u0259tin\u0259 inanmaq ist\u0259yirdim, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259…
\nDay\u0131 n\u00f6mr\u0259sini m\u0259n\u0259 verib:
\n\u2500Q\u0131z\u0131m, qohumum sema\u015fkoda i\u015fl\u0259yir. Ev\u0259 gedim, z\u0259ng edib q\u0131z\u0131n anas\u0131n\u0131 soru\u015facam. \u0130ndi ged\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n, bilmirs\u0259n s\u0259ni kim qar\u015f\u0131layacaq. Yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131 budur, s\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x, get evin\u0259. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc h\u0259lak el\u0259m\u0259, \u2013dedi.
\nG\u0259zm\u0259kd\u0259n, aldanmaqdan, d\u00fcz\u00fc, hals\u0131z d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm. Kefim d\u0259 yox idi. Day\u0131n\u0131 n\u0259yi var yola verm\u0259li oldum. N\u00f6mr\u0259sini ald\u0131m, ax\u015fam z\u0259ng ed\u0259c\u0259yimi s\u00f6yl\u0259dim.
\nDay\u0131yla sa\u011folla\u015f\u0131b birba\u015fa sema\u015fkoya getdim. Ginekoloq \u015f\u00f6b\u0259sin\u0259 girdim. Bilmirdim kim\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131m. Qar\u015f\u0131dan a\u011f x\u0259l\u0259tli, dolu b\u0259d\u0259nli xala g\u0259lirdi. Salamla\u015fd\u0131m, q\u0131z\u0131n anas\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 deyib soru\u015fdum. D\u0259qiq qad\u0131n\u0131n onlar\u0131n \u015f\u00f6b\u0259sind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yib-i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259diyini soru\u015fdu. Bilmir\u0259m, dedim. Sa\u011f olsun, m\u0259ni iti qovan kimi qovdu.
\nQovdu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dala\u015fma\u011fa hal\u0131m da yox idi. Hardan baxsaq, s\u0259hv \u00e7\u0131xan m\u0259n olacaqd\u0131m. X\u0259st\u0259xanan\u0131n h\u0259y\u0259tin\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. Qad\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tind\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fcm dolmu\u015fdu. Do\u011fu\u015f \u015f\u00f6b\u0259sinin qaba\u011f\u0131nacan g\u0259ldim. A\u011f x\u0259l\u0259tli, h\u00fcnd\u00fcr, ya\u015f\u0131 t\u0259xmin\u0259n 55-60 olard\u0131, bir ki\u015fi m\u0259n\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131, salam verdi. K\u00f6n\u00fcls\u00fcz salam\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131m.
\n\u2500N\u0259ys\u0259 olub? \u2013soru\u015fdu.
\nAllahdan g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 karanda\u015f \u00e7\u0259km\u0259mi\u015fdim. G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sildim. Bu adda qad\u0131n axtard\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 dedim. M\u0259rdimazar insan deyil\u0259m, a\u011f x\u0259l\u0259tli qad\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259ni qovdu\u011funu dem\u0259dim. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc t\u0259qdim el\u0259di, \u015f\u00f6b\u0259 m\u00fcdiriydi. M\u0259niml\u0259 g\u0259l, dedi. Kadrlar \u015f\u00f6b\u0259sin\u0259 ged\u0259n\u0259c\u0259n haqq\u0131mda suallar verdi, m\u0259n d\u0259 u\u015faq kimi suallar\u0131n\u0131 cavablay\u0131rd\u0131m. Kadrlar \u015f\u00f6b\u0259sind\u0259 m\u0259ni bir xan\u0131ma tap\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 ki, nec\u0259 laz\u0131md\u0131r k\u00f6m\u0259k el\u0259sin. Xan\u0131m \u201c ba\u015f \u00fcst\u0259 \u201d dedi, sonra n\u0259inki ginekoloq \u015f\u00f6b\u0259sind\u0259, dediyim qad\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 he\u00e7 dig\u0259r \u015f\u00f6b\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 d\u0259 tapmad\u0131. Aldand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 qad\u0131n da \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 vurdu. El\u0259 dolmu\u015fdum, bir \u00e7\u0131rtmaya a\u011flama\u011fa haz\u0131r\u0131yd\u0131m.
\nBu d\u0259f\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm-\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 ev\u0259 getm\u0259yi m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Hamamda suyun alt\u0131nda h\u00f6nk\u00fcrt\u00fcyl\u0259 a\u011flayanda anam qap\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131nda s\u0259simi e\u015fidib narahat olmu\u015fdu. Qap\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6y\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, a\u00e7\u0131m. A\u00e7mad\u0131m. Niy\u0259 a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 soru\u015fanda, \u201c \u00fcr\u0259yimi bo\u015fald\u0131ram \u201c, dedim. Bu q\u0259d\u0259r aldanmaq, \u201cqoyun\u201d yerin\u0259 qoyulmaq yer el\u0259mi\u015fdi m\u0259n\u0259. Sonra h\u0259r \u015feyi anama, qohumum o\u011flana dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.
\nSonunda bir \u015feyi anlad\u0131m. \u018fslind\u0259, q\u00fcrurlu q\u0131z x\u0259st\u0259 hal\u0131yla \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc hans\u0131sa o\u011flana sevdirm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaz. Lap sevdirm\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259, o\u011flanla tan\u0131\u015f olub, onu vicdan\u0131n\u0131n z\u0259rb\u0259si alt\u0131nda qoymaz. Kim olur olsun, x\u0259st\u0259 hal\u0131nda can\u0131n\u0131n hay\u0131nda olar. Dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qlar\u0131 ana-atas\u0131, t\u0259k qalanda da inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 Tanr\u0131 ola bil\u0259r.
\nZamanla unutmaq \u0259v\u0259zin\u0259, daha da t\u0259sir el\u0259di m\u0259n\u0259. Bu q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259rh\u0259m\u0259tli oldu\u011fum \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n z\u0259hl\u0259m d\u0259 getdi. O q\u0131za nifr\u0259tim bug\u00fcn d\u0259 var. \u00dcst\u00fcnd\u0259 on ild\u0259n \u00e7ox vaxt ke\u00e7s\u0259 d\u0259\u2026R\u0259fiq\u0259l\u0259riyl\u0259 m\u0259nim v\u0259 qohumumun hissl\u0259riyl\u0259 oynad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00fcld\u00fckl\u0259rini t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr edir\u0259m. Yen\u0259 d\u0259 sa\u011f olsun. \u018fsl h\u0259yat d\u0259rsi \u00f6yr\u0259tdi biz\u0259. Bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni e\u015fid\u0259n tan\u0131\u015f-bili\u015fl\u0259r deyirl\u0259r ki, q\u0131za qohumumdan \u00e7ox , el\u0259 bil m\u0259n vurulmu\u015fdum\u2026.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Az\u0259rbaycan Yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131lar Birliyinin (AYB) v\u0259 D\u00fcnya G\u0259nc T\u00fcrk Yazarlar Birliyinin (DGTYB) \u00fczv\u00fc Polis akademiyas\u0131nda oxuyan t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 qohumum \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc h\u0259ddind\u0259n art\u0131q g\u00f6z\u0259l q\u0131zlar\u0131n c\u0259ngav\u0259ri kimi hiss edir. G\u00f6z\u0259l olmayan, \u0259tli-qanl\u0131 q\u0131zlara qar\u015f\u0131 da bigan\u0259 qala bilmirdi. D\u00fcz\u00fc, g\u00f6z\u0259l q\u0131z g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 m\u0259n d\u0259 bax\u0131ram, o q\u0131z kimi g\u00f6z\u0259l olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 pax\u0131ll\u0131q hissi d\u0259 ke\u00e7irmi\u015f\u0259m. N\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259, qohumumun […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=29250"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29250\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29268,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29250\/revisions\/29268"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=29250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=29250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=29250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}