{"id":39361,"date":"2021-08-20T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-08-20T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=39361"},"modified":"2021-08-20T18:16:35","modified_gmt":"2021-08-20T14:16:35","slug":"nargis-niy%c9%99-v%c9%99-kim%c9%99-yazmali-idi-tanriyami-allahami-insanami","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=39361","title":{"rendered":"NARG\u0130S.&#8221;Niy\u0259 v\u0259 kim\u0259 yazmal\u0131 idi? Tanr\u0131yam\u0131? Allaham\u0131? \u0130nsanam\u0131? -&#8220;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/166257434_2948925878763299_2730111004831325367_n-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>G\u00fcn\u0259\u015fli g\u00fcnl\u0259rin yerini pay\u0131z\u0131n ruh titr\u0259d\u0259n ecazkar \u0259hvali-ruhiyy\u0259si \u0259v\u0259zl\u0259mi\u015fdi. Qardan \u0259s\u0259r-\u0259lam\u0259t olmasa da, arada burnuna qar havas\u0131n\u0131n soyuqlu\u011fu d\u0259yirdi. \u018fll\u0259rini cibin\u0259 qoymaq ist\u0259mirdi, ancaq barmaqlar\u0131 bumbuz idi. \u015e\u0259h\u0259rin bozumtul k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 ma\u015f\u0131nlar d\u0259lic\u0259 \u015f\u00fct\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u00d6m\u00fcrd\u0259ki t\u00fck\u0259n\u0259n saniy\u0259l\u0259rin tik-taklar\u0131 \u00fcr\u0259yinin u\u011fultusuna qar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Sakitlik ist\u0259yirdi. Bunu ona da demi\u015fdi. Bir saat olard\u0131 ki, ev\u0259 atm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc. Titr\u0259m\u0259si ke\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015fdi. Boz yum\u015faq k\u00f6yn\u0259yinin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n qara paltosunu geyinib divanda barda\u015f qurdu. Sonra bezib fikrind\u0259n d\u00f6nd\u00fc, \u00e7ay d\u0259ml\u0259di. \u00c7ay\u0131 barda\u011fa bo\u015faldanda \u00fcr\u0259yi yen\u0259 s\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131. \u00c7ay\u0131 p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n soyu\u011fun \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rpd\u0131. Qaranl\u0131\u011fa siqaret t\u00fcst\u00fcs\u00fcvari bir t\u00fcst\u00fc yay\u0131ld\u0131. Ball\u0131 s\u00fcd i\u00e7m\u0259k \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131 idi. S\u00fcd\u00fc qaynar sevirdi. G\u0259r\u0259k bo\u011faz\u0131n\u0131 yand\u0131rayd\u0131. N\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259, o zaman s\u00fcd\u00fcn \u015f\u0259fal\u0131 olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u018fks halda he\u00e7 bir m\u0259na ifad\u0259 etmirdi s\u00fcd onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. Bu g\u00fcn o g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259n biri idi. \u0130\u015fd\u0259 d\u0259, evd\u0259 d\u0259 beynini toplaya bilmirdi. Tez-tez onun ist\u0259m\u0259d\u0259n m\u0259ruz qald\u0131\u011f\u0131 dialoqlarda m\u0259ntiqi rabit\u0259ni itirirdi. S\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 unutdu\u011fu yerd\u0259n davam etm\u0259k getdikc\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinl\u0259\u015firdi. Beynind\u0259ki informasiya tullant\u0131lar\u0131 zehnini z\u0259d\u0259l\u0259yirdi. B\u0259z\u0259n is\u0259 fikrini c\u0259ml\u0259yib dem\u0259k ist\u0259diyini ifad\u0259 etm\u0259kd\u0259n k\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc olaraq imtina edirdi. \u00c7ox vaxt \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 sual verirdi: d\u00fcnya hara gedir bel\u0259? B\u0259s m\u0259n hara gedir\u0259m? \u018fslind\u0259, d\u00fczg\u00fcn istiqam\u0259t harad\u0131r? Tanr\u0131yam\u0131? Allaham\u0131? \u0130nsanam\u0131?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Qaynar s\u00fcd\u00fc yudumlad\u0131qca g\u00fcn\u00fcn m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259si canlan\u0131rd\u0131 beynind\u0259, bozumtul m\u0259nas\u0131zl\u0131qlar m\u0259ng\u0259n\u0259sind\u0259 s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131 ruhu. B\u0259li, ruhu s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. Mahn\u0131, film, i\u015f v\u0259 s. c\u0259hdl\u0259ri m\u0259nas\u0131z qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, yazmal\u0131 idi, amma n\u0259yi yazmal\u0131 idi. Niy\u0259 v\u0259 kim\u0259 yazmal\u0131 idi? Tanr\u0131yam\u0131? Allaham\u0131? \u0130nsanam\u0131?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/img.edebiyyatqazeti.az\/uploads\/%D0%BF%D0%B8%D1%81%D1%8C%D0%BC%D0%BE.jpg\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Ax\u0131 ist\u0259diyi \u00e7ox \u015fey olurdu h\u0259yat\u0131nda. B\u0259s n\u0259 idi bu d\u00fcnya boyda s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131n\u0131n sirri? Niy\u0259 daima s\u0131x\u0131lma\u011fa b\u0259han\u0259 axtar\u0131rd\u0131? Niy\u0259 h\u0259r zaman hadis\u0259l\u0259rin m\u0259n\u0259vi qismi il\u0259 maraqlan\u0131rd\u0131. Ham\u0131 kimi ola bilm\u0259m\u0259k x\u0259st\u0259liyin\u0259 yaxalanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, bilirdi art\u0131q. Heris\u00e7inin &#8220;Nekroloq&#8221;undak\u0131 kimi h\u0259yas\u0131zca ya\u015famaq vark\u0259n, niy\u0259 Anna Karenina k\u0259d\u0259ri, Martin \u0130den s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131 bo\u011furdu onu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>B\u0259z\u0259n h\u0259yat \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fck bo\u015fluq t\u0259siri ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131r, s\u0259n he\u00e7 n\u0259 ist\u0259mir, he\u00e7 n\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259mirs\u0259n, h\u0259yat\u0131nda adic\u0259 bir yarpaq x\u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131 bel\u0259 olmur, bo\u011fulursan. \u018fslind\u0259, yarpaqlar var, \u0259t\u0259kl\u0259rin Jane Austenin libas\u0131nda oldu\u011fu kimi uzundur, ancaq bilirs\u0259n ki, \u0259t\u0259kl\u0259rin v\u0259 ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131n toxunu\u015fu bel\u0259 yarpaqlar\u0131 x\u0131\u015f\u0131ldatmayacaq&#8230; B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 yarpaqlar x\u0131\u015f\u0131lday\u0131r el\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 x\u0131\u015f\u0131lday\u0131b. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0259n e\u015fitmirs\u0259n? He\u00e7 vaxt e\u015fitm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nec\u0259 ki d\u00fcnyan\u0131n u\u011fultuyla d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc, \u0259zdiyin qar\u0131\u015fqan\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc, Tanr\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259n\u0259 ironiya il\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc e\u015fitmirs\u0259n&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 el\u0259 h\u0259r zaman bel\u0259 olacaq&#8230; Yarpaqlar \u0259b\u0259di olaraq x\u0131\u015f\u0131ldamayacaq&#8230; Onur\u011fandan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 bo\u015falacaq yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n. S\u0259n el\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 axtaracaqsan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He\u00e7 vaxt cavablamayacaq suallar\u0131n\u0131 Allah. S\u0259n is\u0259 el\u0259 hey axtaracaqsan&#8230; Dekabrda \u015eaxta babaya, Apreld\u0259 Allaha m\u0259ktub yazacaqsan&#8230; El\u0259 hey inanacaqsan&#8230; B\u00fct\u00fcn yalanlara inanmaq ist\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yaln\u0131zl\u0131q t\u0259nhal\u0131qdan f\u0259rqlidir. Yaln\u0131zl\u0131q k\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc se\u00e7ilir. Yaln\u0131zl\u0131q genetikdir, ruhsall\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u0259lam\u0259tidir. T\u0259nhal\u0131q el\u0259dirmi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Filosoflar\u0131n yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n f\u0259rqli insanlara m\u0259xsus oldu\u011fu fikrin\u0259 sahib \u00e7\u0131xmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yaln\u0131zla\u015facaqsan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>B\u0259z\u0259n \u0259traf\u0131nda b\u00fct\u00fcn planetl\u0259r, peykl\u0259r d\u00f6vr\u0259 vuracaq, bu, sad\u0259c\u0259, s\u0259ni bezdir\u0259c\u0259k, q\u0259z\u0259bl\u0259n\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n, yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n d\u0259rinl\u0259\u015f\u0259c\u0259k., b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259c\u0259k, evl\u0259n\u0259c\u0259k v\u0259 ail\u0259 olacaq&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n m\u0259ktuba cavab g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bir u\u015faq m\u00fctl\u0259q \u015eaxta baban\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc sevinc\u0259k ba\u011f\u0131racaq&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>S\u0259n g\u00fcl\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n m\u0259ktubun cavab\u0131n\u0131n axtar\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xmaq arzusuna yenil\u0259c\u0259k ruhun&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>S\u0259n h\u0259min an bir yarpaq kimi ayr\u0131lacaqsan. D\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n ail\u0259 buda\u011f\u0131ndan&#8230;V\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 inad bir yarpaq olma\u011f\u0131n do\u011fas\u0131na ziddiyy\u0259t olma\u011f\u0131 se\u00e7\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n&#8230; He\u00e7 vaxt \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fcb qar\u0131\u015fmayacaqsan torpa\u011f\u0131n damarlar\u0131na. Yenid\u0259n var olmaq ist\u0259m\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n. S\u0259nin d\u0259 \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259c\u0259k kiml\u0259rins\u0259 \u0259t\u0259kl\u0259ri, ayaqlar\u0131&#8230; S\u0259n d\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt x\u0131\u015f\u0131ldamayacaqsan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>G\u00fcn\u0259\u015fli g\u00fcnl\u0259rin yerini pay\u0131z\u0131n ruh titr\u0259d\u0259n ecazkar \u0259hvali-ruhiyy\u0259si \u0259v\u0259zl\u0259mi\u015fdi. Qardan \u0259s\u0259r-\u0259lam\u0259t olmasa da, arada burnuna qar havas\u0131n\u0131n soyuqlu\u011fu d\u0259yirdi. \u018fll\u0259rini cibin\u0259 qoymaq ist\u0259mirdi, ancaq barmaqlar\u0131 bumbuz idi. \u015e\u0259h\u0259rin bozumtul k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 ma\u015f\u0131nlar d\u0259lic\u0259 \u015f\u00fct\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u00d6m\u00fcrd\u0259ki t\u00fck\u0259n\u0259n saniy\u0259l\u0259rin tik-taklar\u0131 \u00fcr\u0259yinin u\u011fultusuna qar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Sakitlik ist\u0259yirdi. Bunu ona da demi\u015fdi. Bir saat olard\u0131 ki, ev\u0259 atm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc. Titr\u0259m\u0259si ke\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015fdi. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pub"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39361","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=39361"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39361\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39366,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39361\/revisions\/39366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=39361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=39361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=39361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}