{"id":49833,"date":"2025-09-26T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-09-26T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=49833"},"modified":"2025-09-26T13:54:54","modified_gmt":"2025-09-26T09:54:54","slug":"xanim-anela-unutdugum-arzum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/?p=49833","title":{"rendered":"Xan\u0131m ANELA.”Unutdu\u011fum arzum”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Az\u0259rbaycan\u0131n M\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259t v\u0259 \u018fd\u0259biyyat Portal\u0131n\u0131n Ba\u015f redaktoru<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 B\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259nd\u0259 n\u0259 olassan?
\u2013 Televizordak\u0131 q\u0131z!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u0259l\u0259 \u00e7ox balaca ik\u0259n bel\u0259 cavab vermi\u015fdim. Sonralar ba\u015fa sald\u0131lar ki, \u201ctelevizordak\u0131 q\u0131z\u201d yox, \u201cdiktor\u201d. Diktor olmaq\u00e7\u00fcn jurnalistikan\u0131 bitirm\u0259li, bunun\u00e7\u00fcns\u0259 \u00e7ox \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmal\u0131yd\u0131m. Mikrofonum o d\u00f6vr\u00fcn \u0259n m\u0259\u015fhur dezodorantlar\u0131ndan biri, \u201cKobra\u201dn\u0131n qab\u0131, m\u00fcsahibim atam, m\u0259kan atam\u0131n qarn\u0131. H\u0259r ax\u015fam d\u0131rma\u015f\u0131b onun qarn\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 oturub m\u00fcsahib\u0259 al\u0131r, g\u00fclm\u0259li suallar fikirl\u0259\u015fib-tap\u0131rd\u0131m. Bu sad\u0259c\u0259 bir x\u0259yal idi. B\u0259s \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck arzum? \u018fn b\u00f6y\u00fck arzumsa Bak\u0131da ya\u015famaq idi. B\u0259li, bizim Bak\u0131. Hardan qaynaqlan\u0131rd\u0131 bu arzu? Bu haqda \u00e7ox d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m ki, balaca qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n anama verdiyi suallardan sonra ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 h\u0259r \u015fey<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\u2013 M\u0259n hardan g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m?
\u2013 Allah baba verib, m\u0259nim qarn\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131san, \u2013 deyirdi anam.
\u2013 B\u0259s, Anar? \u2013 b\u00f6y\u00fck qarda\u015f\u0131m haqda sual verirdi V\u00fcsal.
\u2013 O, papan\u0131n qarn\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b, \u2013 niy\u0259s\u0259 bel\u0259 deyirdi anam.
\u2013 O b\u00f6y\u00fckd\u00fc, papam\u0131n qarn\u0131 da b\u00f6y\u00fckd\u00fc ona g\u00f6r\u0259, h\u0259?
\u2013 H\u0259, \u2013 g\u00fcl\u0259r\u0259k i\u015fin\u0259 davam ed\u0259rdi anam.
\u2013 B\u0259s bac\u0131m, b\u0259s bac\u0131m?..
Anam \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 bax\u0131b g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k \u201cOnu Bak\u0131dan alm\u0131\u015f\u0131q\u201d \u2013 dey\u0259rdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bak\u0131… M\u0259ni f\u0259rqli tuturdu anam. T\u0259k q\u0131z idim dey\u0259mi? Bilmir\u0259m… Amma m\u0259n art\u0131q m\u0259ni al\u0131b g\u0259tirdikl\u0259ri Bak\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim, b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259nd\u0259 orda ya\u015famaq ist\u0259yirdim. Bir d\u0259, \u0259caib s\u0259sl\u0259n\u0259 bil\u0259r, amma n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 M\u00fcbariz Ta\u011f\u0131yev oxuyanda qa\u00e7\u0131b televizorun qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda durub \u201cO da Bak\u0131dad\u0131… Onun yan\u0131na ged\u0259c\u0259m, g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259m onu\u201d \u2013 deyirdim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bak\u0131ya ilk g\u0259ldiyimd\u0259 balaca, m\u0259kt\u0259bli q\u0131z idim. \u00dc\u00e7 g\u00fcn qald\u0131q, sonra valideynl\u0259riml\u0259 iki h\u0259ft\u0259lik s\u0259yah\u0259t ba\u015flad\u0131. Qarda\u015flar\u0131m k\u0259ndd\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. M\u0259n is\u0259 valideynl\u0259riml\u0259 g\u0259miy\u0259 minib T\u00fcrkm\u0259nistana getdim, oradan avtobusla Qazax\u0131stana, buradan is\u0259 qatarla Aktau, At\u0131rau, Saratov, Moskva, Kiev, Kalininqrad… H\u0259r \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 iki g\u00fcn, Kievd\u0259 bir g\u00fcn v\u0259 Kalininqradda b\u00fct\u00fcn yay t\u0259tilini ke\u00e7irdim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O ill\u0259r h\u0259r yer g\u00f6z\u0259l idi, x\u00fcsusil\u0259 Kalininqrad. 1946-c\u0131 il\u0259d\u0259k ad\u0131 K\u00f6niqsberq olub, y\u0259ni ke\u00e7mi\u015f alman \u015f\u0259h\u0259ri. \u0130kinci D\u00fcnya m\u00fcharib\u0259si \u0259snas\u0131nda yaranm\u0131\u015f, Baltik d\u0259nizinin liman\u0131nda yerl\u0259\u015f\u0259n, \u0130mmanuel Kant\u0131n v\u0259t\u0259ni olan bu \u015f\u0259h\u0259r Rusiyan\u0131n \u0259n \u0259sas b\u00f6lg\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n biridir. Bura g\u00f6z\u0259l idi… amma m\u0259n Bak\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259yirdim…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il sonra h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259lik Kalininqrada k\u00f6\u00e7d\u00fck, \u00e7\u00fcnki m\u0259nim babam orada ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. Bel\u0259likl\u0259, m\u0259n 24 ya\u015f\u0131mad\u0259k Az\u0259rbaycan \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 h\u0259sr\u0259t qald\u0131m…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u0259r \u015fey d\u0259yi\u015fmi\u015fdi… m\u0259n d\u0259… H\u00fcquq\u015f\u00fcnas olaraq qay\u0131tm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m Az\u0259rbaycana, sonra ail\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131 v\u0259 yenid\u0259n Rusiya. 2011-ci ild\u0259 biryolluq Az\u0259rbaycana qay\u0131td\u0131q v\u0259 dey\u0259s\u0259n bu sonuncuydu. Art\u0131q iki \u00f6vlad anas\u0131 idim. B\u00fct\u00fcn diqq\u0259timi \u00f6vladlar\u0131ma vermi\u015f, asud\u0259 vaxtlar\u0131mdasa yazma\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. \u00c7ox \u015f\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259r g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm o zamanad\u0259k, lakin n\u0259s\u0259 \u00e7atm\u0131rd\u0131, yerimd\u0259 deyildim…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xeyli zaman ke\u00e7mi\u015f, art\u0131q kitablar\u0131m \u00e7ap olunmu\u015fdu. Bu aralar n\u0259\u015friyyatda i\u015fl\u0259yirdim, ara-s\u0131ra da diksiyam yax\u015f\u0131 oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn f\u0259rqli layih\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 s\u0259sl\u0259ndirm\u0259l\u0259r edirdim. Bu m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u0259rzind\u0259 \u00e7ox itkil\u0259r vermi\u015f, \u00e7ox hadis\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7mi\u015fdim. Bunlar azm\u0131\u015f kimi koronavirus v\u0259 \u0130kinci Qaraba\u011f m\u00fcharib\u0259si…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Art\u0131q \u0259vv\u0259lki kimi g\u00fclm\u00fcr v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n yor\u011fun insan\u0131 hiss edirdim. Bu yor\u011fun g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259n birind\u0259 ax\u015fam vaxt\u0131 avtobusla ev\u0259 qay\u0131d\u0131rd\u0131m. Evd\u0259n z\u0259ng vurub Heyd\u0259r \u018fliyev M\u0259rk\u0259zin\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259yimi ist\u0259dil\u0259r. Bura haz\u0131rda ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m evin yan\u0131 idi. Konsert proqram\u0131 var, yor\u011fun olsam da, u\u015faqlar\u0131n x\u0259trin\u0259 getm\u0259li oldum. Q\u0131z\u0131m izdiham\u0131 sevm\u0259diyind\u0259n camaatdan xeyli aral\u0131da yerd\u0259n oturub seyr etm\u0259yi ba\u015flad\u0131. Onlara yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b el\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 oturmu\u015fdum ki, s\u0259hn\u0259y\u0259 M\u00fcbariz Ta\u011f\u0131yevi d\u0259v\u0259t etdil\u0259r. \u201cQalx, ulu torpaq!\u201d… \u00dcz\u00fcmd\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 bir t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm yarand\u0131, ill\u0259r \u0259vv\u0259lki arzumu xat\u0131rlad\u0131m… Bak\u0131da ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131m, diktor olmasam da, yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 idim v\u0259 M\u00fcbariz Ta\u011f\u0131yev tam qar\u015f\u0131mda, s\u0259hn\u0259d\u0259 oxuyurdu…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0259nb\u0259: https:\/\/kulis.az\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Az\u0259rbaycan\u0131n M\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259t v\u0259 \u018fd\u0259biyyat Portal\u0131n\u0131n Ba\u015f redaktoru \u2013 B\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259nd\u0259 n\u0259 olassan?\u2013 Televizordak\u0131 q\u0131z! H\u0259l\u0259 \u00e7ox balaca ik\u0259n bel\u0259 cavab vermi\u015fdim. Sonralar ba\u015fa sald\u0131lar ki, \u201ctelevizordak\u0131 q\u0131z\u201d yox, \u201cdiktor\u201d. Diktor olmaq\u00e7\u00fcn jurnalistikan\u0131 bitirm\u0259li, bunun\u00e7\u00fcns\u0259 \u00e7ox \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmal\u0131yd\u0131m. Mikrofonum o d\u00f6vr\u00fcn \u0259n m\u0259\u015fhur dezodorantlar\u0131ndan biri, \u201cKobra\u201dn\u0131n qab\u0131, m\u00fcsahibim atam, m\u0259kan atam\u0131n qarn\u0131. H\u0259r ax\u015fam d\u0131rma\u015f\u0131b onun qarn\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-49833","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-edeb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49833","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=49833"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49833\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49838,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49833\/revisions\/49838"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=49833"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=49833"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edebiyyat-az.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=49833"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}